


Red Riding Hood Is Wearing Black: The Wretched Journey

by Kittycatkyla23



Series: Red Riding Hood Is Wearing Black [2]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Adultery, All Counterparts, Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Anal Sex, Animal Transformation, Blasphemy, Blood and Gore, Cannibalism, Dark fic, Depression, F/M, Gore, Hardcore, Holy Wars, Implied Murder, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kidnapping, Lima Syndrome, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya, Minor Rubi no Yubiwa/Toudaimoto Kurashi, Minor Shitsuo/Sakuraya, Priest!Shizuo, Psychological Trauma, Red Riding Hood Elements, Rough Sex, Suicidal Tendencies, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tragedy, Unfortunate Implications, Werewolves, Witch Burning, Yandere, Yandere!Hachimenroppi, Yaoi, vampire!izaya
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2019-06-23 15:37:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 19
Words: 83,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15609492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittycatkyla23/pseuds/Kittycatkyla23
Summary: Loosely inspired by Red Riding Hood (2011 Movie). Reader discretion advised.--Tsukishima lived in a village that was plagued by a werewolf. They lived in a tense peace until one night, on the night of a full blood moon, the werewolf demanded the blond as its next sacrifice. Tsukishima was prepared to die for his town, however, the wolf didn't want to eat him. Instead, the wolf--who introduced himself as Hachimenroppi--proclaimed his love for Tsukishima and decided the blond would stay with him forever.Now, with a holy order making it's way across the country and exterminating everything inhuman along the way, Hachimenroppi has announced they cannot stay. Tsukishima is forced by the werewolf to leave his home, his family, and his country behind in order to live with nothing but monsters. Can he manage to escape to return home? Or will he renounce his faith in God in favor of falling in love with Hachimenroppi?--





	1. Chapter 1

Tsuki was absolutely miserable. His lungs were hurting and his feet were freezing as he trudged through ankle deep snow. His leather boots were soaked through as well as the tips of his pants legs. His knees and the side of his left thigh was also wet from when he fell in the snow earlier. His hands were beat red, his ears ached from the cold, his nose was burning, and his eyes were constantly leaking from the stinging breeze. His red scarf wasn’t near big enough to keep his orifices warm. The most he could do was pull it over his nose but it would periodically fall down to around his mouth. The shirt he wore was thin, making the biting wind stab into his flesh. The only thing close enough to a coat he had was the black cloak that was tied around his neck. The hood wouldn’t stay on his head as the wind kept picking it up and tossing it off his cranium and the cloak didn’t have buttons so there was no way to keep it wrapped around himself.

And to top it all off, Tsuki was miles away from home, being forced to keep walking by the man in front of him. The person was trudging the path for him, making the snow lower than it was. His shoes were taller than Tsuki’s and seemed to be more padded as well. The parka he wore was thick and long so that it covered his legs no problem. Even if this man fell, he wasn’t suffering from the cold like Tsuki was. The raven seemed to know where he was going without fault as he walked with purpose, holding Tsukishima’s wrist to keep the blond going.

Tsukishima glared at the hand but was too scared to say anything against this man.

Five days ago, a werewolf demanded Tsuki to become his sacrifice. Tsukishima’s home town had been plagued by a wolf for years, since before Tsuki was born. The werewolf had slaughtered his people ruthlessly. It relished in the chaos it brought until a church was erected. With the church as a sanctuary, the child of the devil couldn’t cross onto the hollow ground. It then began to destroy their homes and their livestock in a temper tantrum. The mayor of the town ended up coming to an agreement with the wolf, in which they would offer their best livestock to the wolf and the wolf would agree to leave them alone.

Tsuki’s village lived like that for generation. Then five days ago, the wolf stated it wanted Tsukishima as it’s sacrifice. If the village didn’t comply, he would go on a crusade of chaos and death. Tsuki was willing to give his life to keep his family, his people safe. The town disagreed, especially his brothers, but their hands were tied. The life of one was not worth the life of everyone. So many people in the village disagreed with these demands. Everyone loved Tsuki and he was friends with all. But it had to be done.

It had to be done. It was what Tsuki told himself. He had assumed that he was going to die that night. He made his peace with God, with his family, and with his town and had waited for the wolf to arrive to kill him.

However, the wolf didn’t kill him. Instead, it took him away from his village, back to its lair in the mountains where it showed Tsuki that it was, in truth, a man who could transform into the giant werewolf they all feared. In the form of a human, this man violated Tsukishima. He forced Tsuki to partake in sexual acts, where he showed him the sin of sodomizing and the pleasure of laying with a man. Tsuki couldn’t have been more miserable. He had been okay dying for his village but being raped was something he never thought he’d have to do. That night, Tsuki could do nothing but cry.

One would think it couldn’t get worse but it did. The next morning, the man, who introduced himself as Hachimenroppi, had proclaimed his love for Tsuki. Then stated that they had to leave the valley Tsuki had spent his entire life in. A holy order had surfaced. By the grace of God, these men went around and exterminated monsters like Roppi. Because of that, Roppi decided that he had to leave. He said there was an island called Taiwan where he would be safe. And Roppi refused to leave Tsukishima behind.

The blond had no choice but to leave everything he had ever known to go with this beast on a journey that would make him nothing but miserable.

There was no joy for Tsukishima as they made their way down the mountain. A trip like that would usually only take three days but Tsuki’s asthma was constantly being triggered. He had an asthma attack three times in the course of one day. Because of that, Roppi had no choice but to stop and make camp before night in order to keep Tsuki warm and alive. Because of that, it took them five full days in order to get down the mountain.

Now they were treading through a forest on the other side. There was no sign of civilization for miles. As far as Tsuki knew, he was the only human in this entire area.

Tsuki stumbled. He fought to catch himself, his free arm flailing to try and keep his balance. Roppi gave his wrist a tug to help him, as well. But all that did was make Tsuki twist and fall on his back. He felt into a soft powder of snow. Tsuki squealed from the cold that prickled his spine and went to sit up quickly. Roppi tugged his wrist again, getting the blond to his feet with one strong jerk.

Tsuki coughed hard, his body beginning to shake.

“Oi, oi, oi.” Roppi said. “Don’t freak out. You’re okay.”

“I-I-I’m no-no-not, I’m not o-okay.”

A violent cough thrashed his throat.

“Breath. Deep breathes, Tsuki.”

Tsuki shook his head. “Th-the cold is hu-hurting…”

Roppi grumbled. He then let Tsuki’s wrist go and pulled the duffle bag on his back forward. He unbound the flap and pulled out a pelt.

“Take off your wet clothes.”

Tsuki’s eyes widened. He took a step back and shook his head, holding his clothes protectively.

“Take them off. I’ll wrap you in this. It should warm you up.”

“N-n-no. I-I can’t walk n-naked. Wh-wh-what if—what if someone s-sees me?”

“There’s no one to see you. We’re in the middle of nowhere.”

“B-b-b-ut—”

“Take them off, Tsuki. You’re going to trigger your asthma and I don’t want to waste more time on you.”

Tsuki felt tears weld in his eyes as he clenched his teeth.

“Tsuki, either you take them off or I’ll take them off for you. And if I have to take them off, I have no fucking reason not to tear them off you.”

Tsuki jolted. “N-n-no!”

“Then do as I say.”

Tsuki sobbed.

“Why are you crying? Just fucking do it.”

Tsuki couldn’t tell if his hands were shaking because of the cold or because of how upset he was. To strip naked in the wide open in front of a man who had devoured him the first day they met made Tsuki feel like he was being violated without needing to be touched. He swallowed hard as he started to unbutton his waistcoat.

His lungs hurt even more from his tears. He tried to regulate his breathing but that was easier said than done. His black waistcoat came undone. Despite his shaking hands, he managed to unfasten the buttons on his white long sleeve and finally exposed his torso. He shrugged them off his shoulders and down his arms. The icy cold touched his bare flesh and made his whole body break out in goosebumps.

Roppi held his hands out for the shirts. Tsuki tentively handed them over. The raven tied the sleeves of his button down around the straps of his duffle bag, the waistcoat wrapped around it.

Tsuki then went about unfastening his pants.

“Take off your shoes too.”

“B-b-but—”                               

“Are they soaked through?”

“…Yes…”

“Then take them off. I have some tabi’s you can wear.”

Tsuki didn’t respond. But he did as he was told. He knelt down and untied his shoes, pulling them off along with his socks. He stuffed his wet socks in his shoes and handed them over to Roppi. The snow bit into his feet, making his squeal and step from foot to foot rapidly. Roppi quickly dug out a pair of boots that separated the big toe from the rest of the toes. They were as flimsy as socks, the only hard part of them being the soles that were made of wood. He handed them over, along with a wash cloth. Tsuki made quick work of wiping one foot down and slipping the tabi on, then doing the same with the other. Tsuki let out a breath of relief as his feet quickly began to warm within the depth of his new dry footwear.

Tsuki finally grabbed his pants and pulled them down. He didn’t want to take time to think on it else he won’t be able to do it. They fell down to around his knees with no problem. The cold wind touched his sensitive unmentionables and made him squeal. He closed his legs and stepped out of his pants quickly, wrapping his arms around himself.

“Scarf and cloak too. They’re wet, as well.”

“N-n-no! I’ll f-f-freeze.”

“It’s not that cold.”

“Y-y-y-yes—” Tsuki’s words devolved into violent coughs that quickly turned into hacks. He felt bile rise in his throat. He quickly tilted his head down and vomited, holding his cloak out of the way.

Tsuki could barely breath as agony tore through his entire body. He fell to his bare knees, the cold of the snow no longer bothering him as he was more focused on his lungs.

 ** _‘Someone, please help me.’_** Tsuki thought, unable to say the words he wanted to. ** _‘I don’t want to be here…’_**

Roppi knelt down quickly and tugged on Tsuki’s cloak. The blond couldn’t protest as he couldn’t speak and was quickly losing strength in his limps. The raven pulled the cloak off, followed by the scarf. He then wrapped Tsuki in a thick wolf’s pelt. Hachimenroppi picked Tsuki up with a strength that didn’t belong to a man and wrapped him from head to shin in this pelt, even making a make-shift hood to cover Tsuki’s head and face.

Roppi then lied Tsuki down. Tsuki couldn’t feel the cold as the pelt was extremely thick. The man then tilted Tsuki’s head back. The blonde’s mouth was open in order to gasp for air, his vision blurry and his cheeks flushed. Roppi put his mouth over Tsuki’s. But it wasn’t a kiss. It was merely CPR. It was the only thing Roppi and his complete lack of any form of medicine and tools could do to help Tsukishima breath.

Roppi breathed deeply into the blonde’s mouth. He filled Tsuki’s closing windpipes with warm air. Continuously, over and over without pause, Roppi gave Tsuki CPR. What felt like hours to Tsuki was mere minutes to the rest of the world before the blond could feel himself recover. His lungs still burnt but his throat didn’t feel as tight and the weight was lifting from his chest. However, the blond was nowhere near close to being saved.

Tsuki turned his head away, nonetheless.

“I’m f-f-f-fine n-now…” Tsuki said between gasps.

“Bull.” Roppi leaned down to administer more.

Tsuki buried his face into the pelt and spoke between gasps. “Un-unless we…ge-ge-get some…where w-w-warm…C-CPR w-won’t…help.”

“We can’t make camp now. The day has only just started. Let me keep doing CPR for a bit longer.”

“It-It’s…not…helping…”

“Bullshit it ain’t.”

“It’s not…”

Roppi growled. “Will you be okay?”

Tsuki nodded. He could already feel his attack coming down. He’d live.

“Fine.”

Roppi latched his duffle shut. He tied Tsuki’s pants, cloak, scarf, and shoes to the strap then tossed the sack over his shoulder so it was once again on his back. He then pulled the pelt over Tsuki’s face. The blond was buffeted by his own warm breath. He felt Roppi put his arms underneath his shoulders and legs and in the next moment, he was lifted into the air. His body was pressed against Roppi’s chest. Both arms were acting as a seat for Tsuki as his head rested on Roppi’s shoulder. The blond arms were trapped under the pelt, pinned between his body and Roppi’s so if he were to fall, Tsuki wouldn’t be able to catch himself. The raven was leaning back slightly so Tsuki wouldn’t have to worry about that.

Hachimenroppi continued their journey. Tsuki couldn’t see where they were going, but it was not like it mattered as he didn’t know where they were heading anyway. Exhaustion was quickly creeping into Tsuki’s vision. He let his head rest against Roppi completely and was unconscious in moments.

* * *

 

Tsuki woke to the sound of a crackling fire and the smell of something cooking. His vision was obscured by the pelt but he could see the color of fire edge the fur-line. Tsuki reached up and pushed the pelt up.

Roppi was sitting by a small fire. There were strips of meat on sticks around the edge of the stones that circled the flames. Tsuki saw his clothes and shoes were hanging on the branch above Roppi’s head. They looked mostly dry and would surely smell like smoke when Tsuki next put them on.

The blond sat up. Roppi looked over his shoulder at him. “Hey. How you feeling?”

“M-my throat hurts.”

Roppi chuckled. He turned, stood, and walked over to Tsuki. The blond stiffened but tried his best not to show it. Roppi knelt down in front of him and reached into his duffle bag that Tsuki had been using as a pillow. He pulled out what looked like a bladder with a wooden grip and cork shoved into one end.

“Here.” Roppi held the thing out to Tsuki.

“Wh-what is that?”

“It’s just water.”

“N-no, wh-what’s it in?”

“…It’s a deer’s bladder. They’re very useful for holding liquids.”

Tsuki grimaced.

“Don’t worry, I cleaned it properly.” Roppi glowered. “People have been using deer’s bladders as water sacks for years.”

“M-my father ha-has a metal canteen.”

“I’m not your father now drink.” Roppi shoved it in Tsuki’s face.

Tsuki did not like the idea of drinking out of such a thing. He had been content drinking from the streams that trickled down the mountain. Thanks to the filter of the rocks, it was safe to drink without fear of animal contaminations. But Tsuki could probably guess that there were no nearby streams so if he wanted to drink, he would have to use this.

The blond wanted to refuse. He wanted to be stubborn and just wait till they made it to a town. But his throat wouldn’t last that long. It burnt with dehydration and the after effects of his asthma. He needed to drink.

Tsuki sighed and pulled his arms out of the pelt to reach for the bladder. He grabbed it around the wood grip. That was the only part of the thing that was firm. The rest was flaccid and floppy, the sound of water sloshing about inside.

“Hold it like that,” Roppi said then grabbed Tsuki’s other hand. “Put this hand here,” he put Tsuki’s hand around the base of the neck. “Then put it to your lips and tilt. You’re going to have to lift the rest of it up to get the water to go but keep your hand around the neck like that so you don’t get more than you can swallow.”

Tsuki didn’t answer. Roppi pulled the cork out. The water didn’t smell bad, surprisingly, which made his less tentative to drink it. He put the opening to his lips and did as Roppi instructed. Tilting did nothing until he lifted the sack. Water pressed against his lips. He swallowed greedily until he couldn’t handle anymore and tilted his head back down with the bladder.

“Not so bad, right?” Roppi had a smug smile on his lips.

Tsuki wiped his mouth as he held it out for the raven to take back. “Thank you.”

Roppi glowered at Tsuki as a blush crossed his cheeks. Tsuki cocked a brow in confusion. Roppi took the sack without saying anything and put the cork back in.

“You’re cute, you know that?” Roppi said before turning away.

Tsuki didn’t say anything. **_‘I don’t get him.’_**

Roppi went back to the fire, where he sat down on a pelt he had lain out. Tsuki thought it was stupid to have something so flammable next to an open flame but he wasn’t going to say anything. He didn’t understand the first thing about primitive survival so who was he to tell this wild-man what to do?

Roppi turned the sticks so that the other side of the meat was next to the flame.

“You like rabbit, yeah?’ Roppi asked.

“…Mm-hm.” Tsuki nodded.

“Good. We ate through all of the pork yesterday.”

“W-we did?”

“Yeah, but it’s fine.” Roppi looked back at him. “I can catch some more later.”

“Are…Are you not scared of wild boar? I…I heard they’re re-really vi-vicious.”

Roppi chuckled. “Come on, Tsukishima. I’m the scariest thing in this forest.”

“…O-only when th-the full moon is o-out.”

“Nope, that’s wrong.”

“Eh?”

“I can transform every night if I wanted to. But the full moon is the day I have to transform.”

“Eh?”

“It’s kinda like a period. The chick can spot throughout the month but they eventually have to go through an actual period, with the cramps and unending blood and hormonal disbalance.”

That analogy was lost on Tsuki, as he didn’t know what a period was. And that must have shown on his face as Roppi cocked a brow with obvious judgement.

“You don’t know what a period is?”

“N-no.” Tsuki adverted his eyes.

“Please tell me you know how babies are born.”

“…Nii—Tsugaru-Nii sa-said that it’s something-thing that happens wh-when you ge-get married.”

“Are you fucking…”

Tsuki cocked a brow.

Roppi let out a heavy sigh. “You’re seventeen-years-old. Shouldn’t you have be promised to a girl by now?”

Tsuki jolted. “Um, w-w-w-well…”

Tsuki fell quiet. He had been betrothed to a girl named Shizuko. She was a natural blond like Tsuki, but that was due to her grandfather being a foreigner, and his mother thought she was a sweet girl that would make a man out of Tsukishima, even if it wasn’t to the extent as the rest of the men in the town. Shizuko and him had been friendly but they weren’t all that close. His mother used to say things such as, “You’ll come to love her once you’re married.” “You’ll be happy later but for now you should be content.”

Regardless of Tsuki’s view on his marriage-to-be, he didn’t want to answer that question in case Roppi became jealous and decided to turn around solely to remove competition.

“Have you?” Roppi asked.

“…No.” Tsuki kept his eyes on the ground.

“The fuck? No one wanted you?”

Tsuki just shrugged. “I-It’s not like I wa-was able to be th-the supportive hus-husband.”

“…Guess that’s true. As far as genetics go, you’re a pretty weak link.” Roppi chucked. “If you were born a wolf, the pack would have abandoned you.”

“G-guess it’s a good th-thing I was b-b-b-born—I was born a hu-man.”

Roppi turned and casted him a glare. Tsuki stiffened and his eyes widened. He felt fear creep up his spine.

“First off, _racist_.” Roppi growled. “I _am_ a human. I have the same biology as a human, same bodily functions, and am able to breed with humans. So, don’t sit here and call me otherwise.”

“…Humans can’t turn into wolves…” Tsuki muttered.

“What?” Roppi’s glare deepened.

“Nothing…” Tsuki turned his head away.

Roppi pulled his lip back in a snarl. “Listen here, Tsuki. Your akita can get impregnated by a timber wolf without any complication. Why is that? Because they’re both fucking canines. It’s the same fucking thing with me. I’m human, I’m just a different kind of human. Nothing more.”

Tsuki didn’t answer. **_‘You’re not a human. You’re a devil. A demon of hell that walks on this earth.’_**

Roppi rolled his eyes. “Whatever, you’ll get it eventually.” He then grinned at the blond. “I’ll be your main form of company for the rest of your life.”

Tsuki immediately felt like crying. His chest tightened and his hands clenched against his knees. Tsuki turned his head away because he didn’t want Roppi to see him cry. Tsuki hugged his knees to his chest and rested his cheek against his knee.

“Anyway, your clothes are dry.” Roppi said in a much softer tone. “You should put them on.”

Tsuki didn’t answer. He rubbed his eyes against his knees to get rid of the tears.

“Here.”

Tsuki looked up. Roppi was holding out his clothes to Tsuki.

 ** _‘That was fast…’_** Tsuki thought.

The blond reached up and grabbed his clothes. Tsuki criss-crossed his legs to put his clothes in his lap. The pelt fell off the blonde’s shoulders, exposing his upper torso. He shivered and his body broke out in goosebumps. He grabbed his long sleeve and tugged it on. A pungent smell hit Tsuki’s nose. He cringed then reached down and pulled his shirt up to his face.

He pulled away with an expression of disgust.

Roppi held back a laugh. “Does it stink?”

“S-smells like, like sweat, d-dirt, snow, a-and sm-smoke. It does-doesn’t smell good—good.”

Roppi chuckled. “Wanna wear something else? We can wash your clothes when we meet up with my packmates.”

Tsuki looked up at Roppi wide-eyed. “Packmates?”

“Yeah. I told you, me and my pack decided to go to Taiwan to get away from the holy order. They should be showing sometime tonight or tomorrow.”

“…W-when you say pack…are—do you me-mean there are m-more w-werewolves?”

“Duh.”

Tsuki felt his stomach clench. **_‘There are more of them…’_**

Roppi rolled his eyes. He turned and grabbed his duffle. “Here, you can wear some of Rubi’s clothes. You two are about the same size.”

“…Rubi…”

“Yeah. He’s someone you don’t want to piss off. He has a no-bullshit policy so he’ll call you out on it and depending on what it was, he may beat the shit out of you.”

Tsuki jolted.

“He has his own form of justice since the justice system has failed him a lot in the past.”

“…H-how d-did that…”

Roppi looked at him. Then glanced back to the duffle. “I guess you have a right to know. You’ll be a member of the pack soon so you’re going to need to know the pasts of your new family.”

Tsuki stiffened at the calm notion of Roppi’s statement. As if Tsuki had been married off and had to move to his husbands’ home town to live with his family.

“Well,” Roppi started, “when Rubi was a kid, he lived in a village with the rest of society. He didn’t know he was any different than the other kids. Well, the villagers found out he was a wolf so they came and burnt their house down while they were inside it. His mother was the wolf, his dad was a man. His mother transformed and managed to get Rubi out but she couldn’t save her husband. It was no longer safe for them to live in any town, his mother didn’t trust man anymore. So, Rubi went from sleeping in a warm house on a soft bed to a cold, hard cave.”

Tsuki felt his heart ache for this Rubi he never met. A child was an innocent, in Tsuki’s opinion. That was why a child was supposed to be baptized when they are born, because they are protected by God until they can make their own choices. It wasn’t fair to blacken their hearts before they understand the difference between sin and saints.

“You know, if you stop to look at it.” Roppi continued as he pulled out a pair of brown jeans. “Man tends to create their own demons, don’t they?”

“…W-what do you mean?”

“I mean, if they were to accept us instead of fear us, they would have a powerful ally instead of a dangerous enemy. I mean, if any other creature, if a real child of the devil were to show up and attack the village, then us wolves could be the first line of defense. Not much can beat us in a fight, even in human-form.” Roppi chuckled. “If your ancestors had accepted my great great grandfather instead of drowning his daughter, we could have had a very different kind of agreement.”

“Drown?” Tsuki jolted.

“Yeah. Your little town found out my great grandmother was a wolf. Instead of killing her, they put her in the river in the middle of winter. They tied her arms down so she couldn’t swim. They wanted her to confess to her sins—which she hadn’t committed any—and reveal the location of where the rest of her kind was at. Basically saying, ‘You’re going to die either or way but if you give up your family, we won’t torture you’.”

“…She, she had to ha-have co-committed sin if-if she was—”

“The only _sin_ she committed was being born.” Roppi glowered at him. “Is that really something you can count as a fucking sin when a child never asks to be born?”

Tsuki didn’t answer.

“ _That’s_ why my great great grandfather went and massacred the village then began destroying the town when they went to the church.”

Tsuki again didn’t answer. Confliction resonated in his chest from that story. If Roppi was telling the truth, then he was right. If no sin was committed other than being born, which isn’t the child’s fault, it shouldn’t give rise to a person’s demise.

But the church couldn’t be wrong. These people…weren’t _people_. They were monster’s that were birthed by the devil. They didn’t deserve the mercy of God. They deserved to be wiped from the soil that belonged to God.

Right?

Tsuki absentmindedly began fiddling with the clothes in his lap so he didn’t have to think on what was right or wrong. His fiddling led him to realizing something.

“Um…w-where’s my-my waist coat?”

Roppi cocked a brow at him. “Isn’t it there?”

Roppi leaned forward and grabbed Tsuki’s cloak. He lifted it up and shook it out, but no black waist coat fell into the blonde’s lap. Roppi scowled for a moment.

“Uh oh…”

“Um…”

“I must have dropped it somewhere in the forest.”

Tsuki jolted. “Wh—we have to go find it!”

“In the middle of the night? There’s no way we’ll find it.”

“Bu-bu-but-but—”

“Besides I covered a lot of ground today while you were passed out. We’d have to do a whole day’s travel backwards when we’re less than a day away from our destination.”

“Bu-but!”

“It’s just a waist coat, anyway.”

“It-It-It-It’s not just a waist coat! The-the-the gold buttons on it, the-they’re from my gr-grandmother’s rosary!”

“Hah?”

Tsuki felt tears weld. “W-when-when my Gr-Grandmother passed, my-my mom decided to use her rosary as the buttons for-for Tsugaru-Nii’s waist coat, so-so that we’ll never forget about her by-by storing her stuff—her stuff in a random dr-drawer. It was-was passed down to m-me when Tsugaru-Nii and D-D-Delic-Nii outgrew it.”

Roppi’s eyes widened. “Seriously?”

Tsuki felt the tears streak his cheeks. The flesh on his face immediately burned from the icy wind.

“Hey, hey, hey, don’t cry, don’t cry.” Roppi reached forward and grabbed Tsuki’s biceps. He looked at Tsuki with a remorseful expression as the blond wiped his eyes on his dirty sleeves. “Look, it’ll be okay. I’ll get you a new waistcoat, alright? To make up for it.”

“I don’t wan—”

Roppi pulled Tsuki in for a hug. “It’ll be okay. Come on, it’ll be something important to you, okay? I’ll make it just as important as the one you lost.”

Tsuki clenched his teeth. He snuffled before rubbing his eyes into Roppi’s shoulder to dry them.

**_‘I wanna go home…’_ **

The smell of something burning tore through the air. Roppi quickly pushed Tsuki away and looked over his shoulder. One of the meat sticks had caught fire. Roppi cursed loudly before turning and diving for the food.

“Dammit!” Roppi cursed again as he pulled the rest of the meat away from the fire, letting that one burn to a crisp in the licks of orange and yellow. “Dammit!”

Tsuki didn’t give any reaction as he let out a stuttered sigh and took off his shirt.

 ** _‘There’s nothing I can do about it now.’_** Tsuki closed his eyes tight shut to keep the tears from falling. **_‘I can’t get upset. I have to stay strong. If I cry, I’ll just trigger my asthma again. Be strong, be strong.’_**

Tsuki grabbed the clothes Roppi had tossed on the duffle. He lifted a black button up. Tsuki cocked a brow.

**_‘Why do they all wear black?’_ **

The blond scrutinized the dark color before letting out a sigh and putting it on.

**_‘It doesn’t matter, not like I’m one to talk with a pure black cloak. I just need to stay warm.’_ **

He stripped off his shirt and quickly put the black one on. He buttoned up the long sleeve. Once it was on, he pulled the pelt back up and wrapped it over his shoulder.

“Burr!” Tsuki shivered.

Tsuki grabbed the brown jeans off the duffle. He pushed them down into the pelt so he didn’t have to expose his legs to the cold. He lied back on the ground and brought his legs up. He quickly pulled the jeans up over his tabi’s and up his limbs. He tugged them to around his waist. He buttoned and zipped the pants close then sat back up.

“We should get you a thicker coat.” Roppi said, pulling the meat off the sticks and putting them on his makeshift, wooden plate. “The cloak isn’t thick enough to keep you warm.”

“Um, it…it’s fine.” Tsuki said.

“No, it’s not fine. You keep having asthma attacks because you’re wearing flimsy clothes.”

“But, but, I don’t—ple-please don’t get rid of it. That was—It was a gi-gift. T-to help with my skin con-condition.”

Roppi looked at him. “Skin condition?”

“Um…y-yes. Th-the sun hurts my-my skin. Its v-very sensitive.”

“We’ve been traveling for five days th—oh! The suns been covered in clouds.”

“An-and I also have l-layers on and m-my hood.”

“Is that why your cheeks are red all the time?”

Tsuki nodded. “Th-they’re s-sunburnt a bit.”

“Do you want some aloe leaves?”

“A…aloe?”

“Yeah, it’ll help relieve the pain of sunburns. I just need to crush it into a poultice and put on your burns.”

“Re-really?”

Roppi nodded. “It doesn’t grow naturally here so I’ll have to get some when we get to our destination.”

“O…Okay…”

Roppi walked over. He sat down on the pelt next to Tsuki and held the plate out to the blond. The wolf let out a chuckle. “You should be happy I took you away before the holy order got to your rath. They’d burn you at the stake with all your problems.”

“Eh?”

Roppi took a strip of meat and pulled a bite off. “You’ve probably never heard of the things this order does. But anyone who looks or acts out of the norm is a target for the ‘holy order’. I heard from one of my packmates that they burnt a kid at the stake. He was younger than you but he was a bit slow. He was born with a mental disorder, I’m sure you’ve heard of things like that, right?”

“Um…y-yeah. There…there’s a boy in our town who is a little slow. The-the father said he has au-autism.”

“Yup. This kid I’m talking about had down syndrome. You know what that is?”

“Um, I’ve heard of it.”

“Well, down syndrome is basically where you can’t learn at the same level as normal people. It takes a lot of effort and a lot of attention from their teachers to get them to learn anything. What’s more, they have a physical deformity with their face. The eyes are really far apart and really small. Their nose is kind of flat. It’s obvious when you look at them that they have down syndrome. I heard it can be caused when the mother drinks alcohol while pregnant but I don’t know if that’s true. But anyway, you get the jist, yeah?”

Tsuki nodded.

“Okay, so from what I heard what happened was the holy order came to this town, yeah? They saw this kid with down syndrome and they dictated that this kid was a child of sin, quote on quote. That apparently, the reason his mother died birthing him was cuz she had fornicated with a devil to birth him. The kids’ father put up a lot of resistance about this but they ended up ‘silencing him’.”

“How’d they d-do that?”

“I heard that they pressed him to death.”

“Eh?”

“You don’t know what that is?”

Tsuki shook his head.

“Well, basically it’s where they tie your arms down and put stones on your stomach and chest. Every time the person refuses to answer or lies, basically if they say something the holy order doesn’t want to hear, they put another stone on them until they crush their organs and die.”

“Th-that’s horrible!”

“I know. I heard that’s what they did to the father. They then put the kid to the stake and burnt him.”

“W-was he really a hell spawn?”

“No. The kid was just born different, Tsuki. No different than you. And that’s the point of what I’m saying.”

Tsuki just stared at him.

“If the holy order made it to your town, you would more than likely get burnt at the stake too. In their opinion, you look like a hell spawn.”

“Wh—how would you know that?”

“Red is the color of the devil.” Roppi looked at him. “Your eyes aren’t normal. Along with the fact that your skin is sensitive to sunlight, you’d be dubbed as a ‘child of the night’—aka, a vampire. The holy order is a bunch of ignorant fucks that have decided that if you’re different it’s because the devil had something to do with it. So, it’s a good thing I grabbed you when I did else you’d probably be dead in the next few months.”

“You—that’s—you’re wrong!” Tsuki glared at Roppi. “You-you can’t say that the church is ignorant!”

“It is, though.”

“It is not! Th-that is like saying God is ignorant!”

“And he isn’t?” Roppi looked at him. “If he was so smart then why did one third of the angels fall from grace?”

“That…”

“After all, the angels were designed to be perfect. Obedient and the most faithful to God and his mission. God makes man and one third of the most obedient fall with Luci.” Roppi looks at him and a thick grin crossed his lips. “Obviously they weren’t so perfect, now were they?”

 Tsuki glared at him. Roppi’s smile immediately vanished as he adverted his eyes.

“Let’s drop the subject.” Roppi said, holding the plate up to Tsuki. “Here, eat. They’ll start to get cold soon.”

“Not hungry.”

“Don’t be stubborn. You need to keep your strength up. Unless you want me to carry you like a damsel from now on.”

Tsuki glowered. He then sighed heavily. “O…okay.”

Tsuki grabbed a few pieces of rabbit. He noticed some of them were charred but he wasn’t going to complain. He put the meat under the pelt to keep his arms warm and brought one up to his lips to start chewing on it.

Roppi took another strip of meat and popped it in his mouth.

“On the subject of your cloak, though, Tsuki.” Roppi started, speaking around a mouthful of food.

Tsuki looked at him.

Roppi swallowed. “We don’t need to get rid of it but I don’t think you should wear it. It’s too flimsy.”

“It-It actually is-isn’t flimsy. The-the fabric is v-very thick.”

“Is it?”

Tsuki nodded. “I…I’ve used it as-as a blanket on-on a few occa-occasions.”

“Huh. Well, then we should modify it a bit.”

“H-how?”

“I think we could put some buttons on the front of it so that it can close around your torso. Less wind will get in that way.”

Tsuki looked at him. “O…okay. But I…do-do you have any-any buttons or s-sowing gear?”

“No, I don’t know how to sow.”

Tsuki didn’t answer.

“One of my packmates, Sakuraya, he can sow like the best of them. He can make it when they get here.”

“I…I can s-sow it myself.”

“You can sow?”

Tsuki nodded.

Roppi smiled. “Impressive.”

Tsuki blushed. “No-Not really. I-I-I could-couldn’t go-go out with the me-men to hun-hunt or cut wood or any-anything like th-that. So, I started-started um, started helping the wo-women to pu-pull my weight.”

Roppi smiled at Tsuki. The blonde’s blush intensified and he looked elsewhere.

“That’s still impressive, in my opinion.” Roppi said, “Most would have just stayed home and done their own thing. You showed some initiative, that’s a great quality.”

Tsuki’s cheeks hurt, he was blushing so hard. “T…thank you.”

Roppi smiled.

The wolf then leaned over and kissed Tsuki’s cheek. The blond jolted. He turned and looked at Roppi wide-eyed, his cheeks still flushed red. Roppi smiled at him.

“Do you want more rabbit?” Roppi asked, “I can make some more if you want.”

“Um...” Tsuki looked down at the snow, embarrassment and a sense of dread flooding his chest. “How…How much is um, is left?”

“I can cook the entire rabbit if you want. I only cooked enough for a small meal.”

“Um…le-let me f-finish eating what I ha-have and I’ll-I’ll decide then.”

“Okay.”

Roppi put more rabbit meat in his mouth as he turned and stared at the fire.

Tsuki also turned to face the fire. He didn’t want to look at the black-haired man. This man who kidnapped him and was forcing him to partake in this horrible journey. The thought that this man could make Tsuki happy for even a miniscule of a second upset Tsuki more than he was willing to show. He shouldn’t be happy to be here. He shouldn’t be trying to get along with this monster, And the fact that for a moment he was getting along and he was content made hot shame fill his chest.

Tsuki ate his food in silence. He finished the strips he had brought into his pelt and reached out to the plate to grab more, as he was still very hungry. There wasn’t much meat left and Tsuki felt like the amount he consumed and would consume would not be enough to satisfy his appetite. After all, he slept all day. He had only eaten a small portion of meat that morning, which he had puked up due to his asthma attack.

Tsuki finished off his strips of meat. He reached out again and grabbed another strip. There was only three left so he only grabbed one as Roppi reached for one too.

“You can have the last one.” Roppi stated as he put the strip in his mouth.

“Um…how-how many did you have?”

“I can make more if I get hungry. Don’t worry about me.”

“…O…okay.”

Tsuki reached forward and grabbed the last chunk of meat. He finished the strips of rabbit off.

“Are you still hungry?”

“Um…” Tsuki paused, trying to feel if he was the case. “I’m not-not sure. L-let me sit on it for a min-minute.”

“Okay.”

A gust of wind cascaded over them. Tsuki shivered and pulled the pelt closer.

 ** _‘The pelt’s not enough.’_** Tsuki thought.

The blond quickly shrugged off the pelt and grabbed his cloak. He swung the cloak over himself and let it flutter over his back. He tied the cloak around his neck and shoved the black fabric down into the pelt. He then pulled the pelt back up to wrap around his shoulder. He pulled his hood up over his head to keep his ears warm.

“Cold…”

Roppi turned and looked at the blond. He then scooted closer to Tsuki and wrapped his arms around him. Tsuki immediately stiffened. His heart beat quickened as a small prickle of fear went along his spine.

**_‘He…He wouldn’t want…He wouldn’t want to…do what he’s done before. Not in the middle of the woods.’_ **

Tsuki was fully aware that Roppi hadn’t tried to violate him since their first night together. They had been on the move since then so there hadn’t been time for Roppi to try anything. Tsuki had counted his blessings but every day he feared Roppi wouldn’t hold himself back.

Roppi rubbed his hand up and down Tsuki’s arm. A typical way to try and warm someone up. Tsuki’s gut told him not to trust it.

**_‘He…he’s not a full animal so…he’s only warming me. Only warming me up. Nothing…’_ **

Roppi leaned over. Tsuki heard the wolf sniff at Tsuki’s neck.

Tsuki felt his blood turn cold when Roppi proved the blonde’s fear right. The wolf tilted his head to nuzzle his face into Tsuki’s hood. He pushed the black fabric out of the way with his nose and pressed his lips to Tsuki’s neck. The werewolf’s hand slipped into the pelt to caress Tsuki’s chest.

“W-w-wait, wait…” Tsuki tried to pull himself away.

“I don’t want to wait.”

Roppi pulled the pelt a bit to expose the clothes underneath. The raven sat up on his knees in order to loom over Tsuki. Tsuki could hear his heart beat in his ears.

“N-no!” Tsuki reached up and pushed against Roppi’s shoulders.

“Hey, come on, don’t do that.” Roppi grabbed Tsuki’s wrists.

“No, I-I don’t want to! Do-do-don’t touch me!”

Roppi let Tsuki’s wrists go and grabbed under Tsuki’s knees. He pulled them up, causing Tsuki to let out a call of surprise as he fell on his back. The blond swung his arms out to catch himself, which made the pelt open. His body was exposed to the cold air. He squealed to the cold.

“Le-l-let me go!” Tsuki reached up and pushed on Roppi’s hands. “Let me-me go!”

“I won’t do anything you don’t like. I’ll make you cum first.”

“I don’t want-want—I don’t like this at-at all!” Tsuki tried to roll on his side while he pushed against Roppi’s chest with his hands. “I don’t want to! Please!”

“Come on, Tsuki, don’t be like that.” Roppi forced Tsuki’s legs apart and lied down in between them. Tsuki was thoroughly pinned. All he could do was grab Roppi’s shoulders. “It’s been five days since we did it last. I want you to get used to it as soon as possible.”

“I don-don’t want to get used to it!”

“Don’t be like that.” Roppi leaned down and kissed Tsuki’s neck. “I’m not a saint. I can’t wait on you forever. Do you know how hard it is to hold back when the person you love is next to you every day?”

“Yo-you you have no self-control!” Tsuki yelled, pushing as hard as he could against Roppi’s shoulders and kicking his legs wildly. “That’s not a reason to do-do this!”

Tsuki felt teeth on his neck.

“Ow! Ow, stop!”

“Tsuki, this’ll be the last day you and I have any form of privacy.” Roppi glared up at the blond. “After tonight, we’ll have to do it within ear shot of my packmates and I know you’ll hate that even more. So, let me get you comfortable with the thought of sex with me first.”

Tsuki didn’t answer. He wasn’t sure if the liquid on his neck was saliva or blood. He was too scared to look. His breathing became heavy and his body was shaking. He could feel tears sting his eyes.

The helplessness that filled Tsuki’s body was soul-crushing. He knew he wasn’t strong enough to stop this beast from doing what he wanted and words seemed to be as useful as a wooden ax. There was nothing Tsukishima could do. He didn’t want to give up and let Roppi have his way. That was the last thing he desired. He wanted to remain strong and refuse Roppi at every turn. But what would that accomplish? Roppi already proved that he’s willing to use violence to make Tsuki complacent. And as much as he hated to admit it, Tsuki wasn’t strong. He was weak and there was nothing he could do to change that right now.

Tsuki broke down into tears. He crossed his arms over his face and turned his head away as sobs racked his body.

“Wha—why are you crying? Come on, Tsuki, don’t do that.” Roppi tried to pull Tsuki’s arms away.

Tsuki refused, tugging against Roppi’s grip. He knew it would do little good as Roppi could easily force his limbs down. But the raven seemed to have developed mercy in the last few seconds and stopped his actions. Tsuki heard him let out a heavy sigh. He peeked through his arms to see Roppi rubbing his hand through his hair in irritancy.

“This is going to take some time, isn’t it?”

Tsuki didn’t answer.

Roppi grabbed Tsuki’s pants and began unbuttoning them. The blond stiffened.

“Well,” Roppi said, “at the very least, I can get your body used to it. Your heart can come later.”

Tsuki clenched his teeth, grabbing a handful of the pelt that was underneath his head.

Tsuki’s pants were pulled up to around his thighs. Cold wind touched the blonde’s rump and genitals.

“I won’t strip you all the way.” Roppi said. “I don’t want you to have an asthma attack.”

Tsuki didn’t answer.

Tsuki jolted as something wet touched his entrance. He squealed to the addition of cold on his body. The blond moved his arms to see what was happening. He instantly regretted that decision as he saw Roppi’s hand in between his legs then immediately felt his index finger into the entrance.

“Ow…” Tsuki clenched his teeth and grabbed the pelt by his hips. “Ow, it hurts.”

“Let me get you used to it.” Roppi twisted his finger.

“Nn!” Tsuki turned his head away, burying his face into his hood. “It’s-it’s dirty. I-I haven’t ba-bathed…”

“That’s why I’m not licking it. But I can assume you wipe properly. And since you puked this morning, I know there’s nothing in here right now.”

Tsuki didn’t answer.

Roppi twisted his finger again, this time rubbing it against a cluster of nerves within Tsuki’s body. The blonde’s eyes widened as his body arched.

**_‘It’s that spot again!’_ **

Tsuki was bombarded with foreign sensations of pleasure as his manhood gave a significant twitch. He stifled him moans while his hips shifted in an attempt to get Roppi to touch that spot again. It was a subconscious reaction. He didn’t want to enjoy it but his body did. He could only fight it for so long.

“You know, I’m glad you’re not frigid.” Roppi chuckled. “Not many guys can feel it as good as you can their first few times.”

Tsuki’s eyes widened. “Eh?”

Roppi pushed in a second finger.

“Ow! No, it’s stretching! It hu-hurts!”

Tsuki’s outer ring was burning around Roppi’s digits. It was being forced to stretch and Tsuki felt like he was going to tear if Roppi tried to force anything bigger in.

 “It hurts…”

“I know. You’ll get used to it.”

Tsuki couldn’t choke down the sob that bubbled up his throat. Tears were leaking freely from his eyes now. He hid his face in his hood again, turning his body so he was lying on his side. Roppi agreed with Tsuki’s shift and grabbed the blond legs to lie them down. The werewolf then scooted closer to the blond so he had to spread his legs around Tsuki. His thighs were warm and pressed against the exposed flesh of Tsuki’s rump and lower back. The blond wasn’t sure if that was intentional or not.

Roppi twisted his fingers once again and pressed them against Tsukishima’s soft spot.

“Mm~!” Tsuki stiffened to fight the urge to moan aloud.

“Don’t do that.” Roppi leaned forward slightly, propping his feet under his rump to do such. “Let your voice out, Tsukishima.”

Tsuki didn’t answer, biting his inner lip to keep the noises in.

Roppi reached over the blonde’s legs and buried his hand into Tsuki’s crotch. Tsuki jolted and his eyes widened. The werewolf gripped Tsuki’s penis. He rubbed his thumb over the tip while giving it a stroke.

“N-no, don—” Tsuki reached down and pushed on Roppi’s hand.

His efforts were pointless. Roppi didn’t budge at all and he was scarily good at what he was doing. While probing Tsuki’s soft spot inside him, he rubbed his hand up and down the blonde’s member. Tsuki clenched his teeth. His nails dug into the pelt. Tsuki closed his eyes tight shut and buried his face into the fur.

**_‘Why does it feel so good?’_ **

“Mm! Uh…”

**_‘I don’t want this. Why can’t my body be the same? It’s horrible…’_ **

“Hah!” Tsuki arched his back. “Ple-please, stop…”

“You’re so hard, though.” Roppi said. Tsuki looked up to see Roppi was grinning. “Look, you’re leaking so much.”

Roppi gave a decisive rub to the mushroom tip of Tsuki’s penis.

“Uh…!” Tsuki tilted his head down. He shoved the pelt over his mouth to keep his voice muffled.

Tsuki felt like a coil was forming under his stomach. The tension felt good and he recognized it from his first night with Roppi—When the werewolf had first lain with Tsuki. Tsuki wanted the coil to be released. He remembered the euphoria that sensation had caused and his whole body was craving it.

The blond put his hands over his mouth to keep his voice from leaking out. It was hard to do so but he didn’t want Roppi to know he was feeling good. His breath berated his hand from his nose. He was breathing hard and quick as tears streaked the side of his face to trickle over the bridge of his nose. His toes curled, his thighs tightened.

“Don’t hold your voice back.” Roppi said.

“Nm!” Tsuki shook his head.

“It’ll feel better if you do.”

“Nm!” Tsuki shook his head again.

A third finger was pushed into Tsuki’s body. The blonde’s eyes widened. His outer ring burned even more but now Roppi was rubbing that sweet spot with three digits. Roppi’s hand on his cock was moving even faster, jacking Tsuki with abandon. The blond curled his legs around Roppi’s. His heels dug into the raven’s thigh.

**_‘It’s going to come out! It’s coming!’_ **

Tsuki’s hips shifted. The coil under his stomach tightened more and more.

“You’re twitching so much right now.”

 “Mm!” Tsuki tilted his head back, his hands coming off his mouth. “AAhh—Aaaaaah!”

The coil released. Tsuki was blinded by pure white euphoria. Every muscle tightened. His mind went numb. Roppi didn’t stop his movements. He still jerked and probed the blond as splurts of white sprayed the pelts. Tsuki’s hands clenched against his chest to grab onto his shirt, to grab onto anything.

His orgasm didn’t last nearly as long as the first night had. Once he was finished making a mess of the pelts, the euphoria was gone. Tsuki was left in an afterglow. He panted heavily as he stared into the forest without focusing on anything. His whole body went limp, his hands resting against the pelt. His breathing was coming out in hard pants—he could feel his lungs aching and his throat was tightening. A thin layer of sweat was sticking his clothes to his body just enough to give him chills.

Tsuki could feel the start of an asthma attack coming on.

But he couldn’t be concerned by that as hot, burning shame took over his body.

**_‘This shouldn’t feel so good. Not by the hands of a hell spawn. Not by the hands of a man.’_ **

Fresh tears were starting to sting his eyes.

**_‘I hate this. I hate this so much. I just want to go home. I don’t want to feel like this…’_ **

Roppi leaned down and kissed Tsuki’s cheek. Tsuki jolted before looking up at his kidnapper. Roppi was smiling down at him.

“Neh, I think it’s my turn now.” Roppi looked down at Tsuki with a loving gaze.

Tsuki felt his insides clench and his blood turn to ice. “N-no…”

Roppi cocked a brow as Tsuki pushed himself onto his elbows. He then put himself on his hands and tried to back away, keeping his legs closed to keep his pants around his thighs.

“What do you mean ‘no’?” Roppi casted him a glare. “I got you off. You can’t leave me hanging.”

“B-b-b-but—”

Roppi grabbed Tsuki under his knees and pulled him back.

“W-wa-wait—wait!” Tsuki put his hands against Roppi’s chest.

“The fuck, Tsuki? Don’t be selfish.”

Roppi pulled Tsuki close and put the blonde’s knees over his shoulder. He wrapped one arm around Tsuki’s thighs to hold him while his other went about unbuckling his own pants.

“Wa-wait, please! I don’t want—I don’t want to—” Tsuki pulled on Roppi’s hand that held him in place, trying to pry his fingers off. “P-please, don-don’t so-sodomize me. I don’t want th-that!”

Roppi openly glared at him. “Then what? You want me to jerk myself off? When the person I fucking love is right in front of me? The fuck do you expect from me?”

Tsuki felt his hands beginning to shake as fear coursed through him. Tears leaked from his eyes.

“Pl…please…” Tsuki’s voice cracked, despite him trying not to let it. “Please don’t…”

Tsuki felt something hot and hard touch his entrance. He stiffened as he clenched his teeth.

“If you’re scared about it hurting,” Roppi said, “It shouldn’t be as bad as your first time. I spent way more time prepping you than last time. Last time I only licked you and my tongue isn’t nearly as big as three fingers. You’ve also never done it before so that’s what it is. It’ll feel better now.”

“N-n-no, I don’t want—”

“The only way we can get it to not hurt is to keep doing it. Eventually, you’ll start liking it.”

Tsuki felt something much larger than three fingers push into him. He arched his back and clawed at Roppi’s hand more desperately. “Aaahh—n-no! No! No! No!”

“ _Hah~_ , fuck.” Roppi tilted his head back in an exhale of pleasure. He put his other hand on Tsuki’s thigh to keep the blond in place as he thrust his hips, slowly. “You’re so tight. Feels fucking amazing.”

“It-it hurts. It hurts!”

Roppi chuckled. “It’ll feel better. After all, you were feeling it pretty well your first time too.”

“I don’t want to…”

Tsuki devolved into sobs. He stopped clawing at Roppi’s hands and was now just holding them while Roppi rocked his hips against Tsuki’s body. It felt like Roppi was stabbing his stomach. The outer ring of his anus was pulsing in pain. It felt like he was tearing and defecating at the same time.

**_‘I hate this…’_ **

Tsuki folded his arms over his eyes as he coughed and hiccupped.

“Oi, oi, stop that.” Roppi said. “You need to breath properly. You’ve been having too many asthma attacks.”

“I don’t want to…”

“What, you don’t want to breath? Didn’t take you for suicidal since you’re Christian and all. Don’t you know wrath against yourself is a sin?”

“I don’t want to do this!” Tsuki screamed. “It hurts! It feels disgusting! I hate it!”

Roppi stopped moving. Tsuki realized what he said and immediately his stomach clenched with fear. Roppi would not take that happily. Tsuki was terrified to look and see the rage-filled expression on the wolf’s face. What if he hit him? Roppi hit him in the past because Tsuki was being difficult. He’d have no reason not to do it again.

Roppi grabbed Tsuki’s wrist. The blond tried to struggle against him, but it was obviously useless. Roppi pinned Tsuki’s wrists down against the pelts. Tsuki pulled. He knew it was in vain, but he couldn’t just lay there and take it. He didn’t want to give up.

Roppi leaned down close. Tsuki’s eyes widened before he closed his eyes tight shut in fear. He turned his head away and began to tremble. He felt Roppi’s breath against his cheek.

“You’ll learn to like it.”

Tsuki’s eyes widened. **_‘What? How can he say that?’_**

Roppi thrust.

“Ah! No!”

**_‘No, I won’t allow myself to ‘learn to like it’. I can’t let it get to that point. I have to get away from him before then.’_ **

Tsuki clenched his teeth as he stared up at the sky. The night stars were hidden behind thick clouds.

**_‘I have to get home. If I can get away from him, he won’t follow me because of the holy order. He has to leave, with or without me unless he wants to get exorcised.’_ **

“Hah, fuck. So good. Tsukishima.”

**_‘He said his pack mates will be here tomorrow. With multiple werewolves around, I won’t be able to get away. Tonight may be the only chance I have.’_ **

“AH, it hurts!” Tsuki screamed.

**_‘I have to try. When he falls asleep, if I don’t do it…’_ **

“Haha, you’ve kept me pent up. I’m already coming.” Roppi smiled down at Tsuki was adore.

**_‘If I don’t do it tonight, I might as well kill myself.’_ **

“Gnnngh!”

“Nn!” Tsuki twitched at the sensation of liquids splattering his insides.

**_‘God, please, forgive me if it comes to that…’_ **


	2. Chapter 2

 Tsuki stared at the fire, lying down on the pelts and underneath them to keep warm. Roppi lied pressed against the blonde's back. He had his arm over Tsuki to hug him close. The werewolf had decided on the first night of their journey that it was safer for Tsuki to sleep towards the fire rather than towards the forest—in case an animal came by, they would sniff at or attack Roppi first.

That made it a bit harder for Tsuki to escape. If he was facing the forest he could just roll out of the pelts and make a dash. But now he had to go around Roppi—crunching in the snow all the while—and then make a dash to the trees.

But Tsuki couldn’t do anything at all until Roppi rolled over. Roppi was a relatively light sleeper. Tsuki could get up out of the pelts without a problem, so long as he didn’t move Roppi in the process—else Roppi will wake up and ask what the blond was doing. If he told Roppi he was going to the restroom, Roppi would get up and go with him and completely defeat Tsuki's plan.

Tsuki was waiting, patiently. Roppi will always roll away so that his back was pressed to Tsuki’s. He'd like falling asleep holding Tsuki but that would eventually get uncomfortable for the werewolf and he would roll away. It was just about waiting.

**_‘Hurry. Let go of me.’_ **

Roppi inhaled heavily. Tsuki held his breath.

**_‘Hurry!’_ **

Roppi rolled over. He tugged the pelts up to cover his nose then exhaled.

Tsuki’s heart was beating hard in his ears.

**_‘I still have to wait. He just moved so he’s slightly awake.’_ **

Tsuki grabbed the pelts tightly. His entire body was tense. His breathing was getting heavy with anticipation. He was so close to freedom. He couldn’t get too resilient, else he’ll blow his only chance.

He waited for what felt like twenty minutes before he slowly began to roll. He rolled out from under the blanket onto the snow. It was cold and he choked back a squeal so as not to make noise. He had been hugging his scarf and cloak to his chest under the pelts and he still had his tabi’s on—Roppi asked about it and the blond said it was to keep them warm for the morning. Now that he was out from under the pelts, he lied the cloak down to roll on it. The snow crunched underneath him so he quickly paused and looked at Roppi. Roppi didn’t move.

Tsuki slowly sat up on his hands and knees. Roppi still didn’t move. He then stood. Still no movement from the werewolf.

The blond brought his cloak over his shoulders as quietly as he could. He latched it around his neck then took his scarf and wrapped is around his neck. He shivered as a strong wind hit him.  

Tsuki stepped as softly as he could around Roppi, going down by the werewolves feet. Step by step, he slowly inched his way around the pile of pelts. Roppi made no movement. Tsuki’s heart was so loud in his ears. Fear, adrenaline, and anticipation was filling his system. He was so close. But if he got caught, it would be all over. Roppi would easily be able to catch him, especially if Roppi was telling the truth about being able to turn into a wolf every night if he so desired. The snow crunching under Tsuki’s feet was so loud. His clothes rustling against his skin was so loud. Everything was so loud and could potentially let Roppi know Tsuki was trying to run away.

Tsuki was now far away from the pelts, far away from the sleeping werewolf. The trees were much closer to the blond than Roppi was. Tsuki looked at the trees. Fight or flight immediately kicked in.

Tsuki ran.

Tsuki dashed through the trees with abandon, running as fast as he could. It was hard to go very quick, as he had to high-knee to get over the snow that reached to his ankles. But he felt like he was making progress despite that. He didn’t stop, he refused to stop. He couldn’t take the risk that Roppi would be right behind him. He ran and ran and ran as if it was the only thing that mattered—because it was the only thing that mattered. His lungs started to hurt but he refused to let that stop him. He also refused to look back. He was too scared that he might see Roppi right behind him. He just had to keep running.

Something pulled on Tsuki’s black cloak. He let out a call of surprise as panic began to fill his chest.

“No! Le-let me go!” Tsuki screamed, turning around to throw a punch.

His fear was immediately put to rest as it wasn’t a person that grabbed him. But a branch that had snagged on his cloak and pulled him to a stop.

Tsukishima let out a heavy sigh in an attempt to steady his irregular breathing. If he had an asthma attack while trying to escape, he would easily get caught. He hid himself behind a tall tree, pressing his back to it. He tilted his head up and took in deep breathes. He clenched his fists against the cold bark.

 ** _‘I hope he didn’t hear me scream just now.’_** Tsuki thought. The blond looked around the tree.

He couldn’t see the campfire anymore. He didn’t think he had been running for that long but, apparently, he had and he wasn’t going to complain. He looked around himself. In the distance, he could see a mountain range.

**_‘That has to be the mountains we crossed. All I have to do is follow our trail back that way. It hasn’t snowed so I should be able to see the footprints, no problem.’_ **

Tsukishima smiled.

**_‘I can go home. Delic-Nii. Tsugaru-Nii.’_ **

Tsuki felt happy tears sting his eyes.

**_‘I’m coming home. I’ll be able to see them.’_ **

Tsuki heard the snow crunch despite the blond having made no move yet. Tsuki stiffened immediately as his heart sank to his shoes.

**_‘Did I wake him up?’_ **

He heard footsteps behind him. Not directly behind him but close enough that if he looked around the tree he leaned against, he would be able to see whoever it was. Tsuki decided to do just that, hiding mostly behind the tree to peak.

What he saw made his eyes widen and a chill of fear go up his spine.

It wasn’t Hachimenroppi. But Tsukishima wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. The creature before his eyes looked like a man but also like a wolf. It looked just like a person walking on all four with a layer of gray peach fuzz over its entire body. Its limbs were extremely long, much longer than they needed to be for an animal but were also too long to be human. The back legs were bent backwards like a dog’s legs, but the front legs looked like arms with hands and fingers. The creature was walking on all four and it had an unnatural hunch in its back that put its head on the same level as its chest.

Its head.

Its head was so strange. It was round just like a person’s, just like a human’s. But the bottom half of its face elongated into the snout of a dog.

This creature looked like a werewolf was stuck between the form of a man and the form of a wolf.

Tsukishima felt his heart beat against his chest. **_‘Oh god, that isn’t Hachimenroppi, is it?’_**

The creature tilted its head up. Tsuki saw its nose twitching as it sniffed the air. The night breeze lifted Tsuki’s hair slightly.

The creature looked at Tsuki. Tsuki’s eyes widened and he jolted.

The creature opened its mouth, a generous flow of saliva drizzling over its yellow teeth. It stood on its hind legs as if that was natural for it do such and let out a low growl.

**_‘Run.’_ **

Tsuki listened to his inner voice and turned around. He pushed off the tree and ran.

The creature let out a vicious bark that sounded no different than a wolf’s and gave chase. Tsuki could hear the snow crunching behind him. Panic began to weld in his chest immediately as a scream tore through his throat on reflex. All he could do was run.

**_‘I can’t outrun that thing! No way!’_ **

Tsuki pumped his arms hard. He forced his legs to trudge through the snow as fast as he could make them go. His lungs were already starting to hurt. But he couldn’t stop! Stopping meant death as far as he knew! But he could hear it getting closer and closer. Tsuki swerved around the trees, hoping that that’ll slow the creature down just enough. It didn’t seem to. Tsuki couldn’t turn to look, though. He had to keep moving. He couldn’t stop!

Tsuki saw a tree branch that was low to the ground and heavy with snow. Maybe he could use that?

Tsuki ran to it. He grabbed the branch and pushed it forward. He let it swing back behind him. He heard the creature whimper a few seconds later. Tsuki looked over his shoulder to see the creature shaking its head back and forth in pain. Tsuki had successfully bought himself some time.

**_‘What do I do? Should I climb a tree? No, I won’t have time to make it very high! I can’t run back to Roppi, he’s so far behind me! I have to run past that thing to get to Roppi. What do I do? What do I do?!’_ **

Tsuki heard a loud howl behind him. He looked over his shoulder to see the creature was glaring death at him. It then continued with the chase. Tsuki faced forward as he pushed his limbs harder.

A cough forced its way out of Tsuki’s throat. The blond wasn’t going to be able to last much longer. His lungs were starting to hurt and he throat was tightening. Never before did he hate his asthma more than now.

**_‘What do I do?! Oh God, please!’_ **

“SOMEONE HELP ME!” Tsuki screamed to the sky.

Tsuki felt a weight slam into his back. His eyes stretched wide as pain quickly followed. The creature had leapt on Tsuki’s back, its claws on its hind legs racking down his lower back. Tsuki screamed in pain right before the monster swung it’s elongated, human-like fingers above Tsuki’s head. He felt the claws dig into his abdomen and pull up to his collar bones.

Tsuki screamed in agony as he fell forward.

Instead of falling face first into the snow, Tsuki met empty air. His eyes stretched even wider as he stared down into a snow-coated ravine. The creature jumped off of Tsuki, which simultaneously pushed the blond down. Tsuki screamed again. He tucked his arms around his head as he slammed into the side of the ravine. Nothing stopped the blond as he rolled down the steep decline.

Tsuki slammed back first into a log at the bottom. His injuries spasmed and the wind was knocked from his lungs. He hacked as his eyes stretched wide with pain. He bounced off the frozen wood, rolling onto his back.

**_‘I can’t breathe.’_ **

Tsuki wheezed, coughing and hacking to try to get air back into his lungs. He was still able to process his surroundings despite his struggles and he could see the creature was standing at the top of the ravine, looking down at him.

**_‘I have to move. I have to…’_ **

Tsuki rolled over and pushed himself on his hands and knees. He heard the snow crunch again. A quick glance showed the creature was carefully trying to get down into the ravine without tumbling down like Tsuki had. Getting footholds in the snow, it was periodically sliding down and struggling to keep its balance.

**_‘Get up! Get up now!’_ **

Tsuki pushed himself to his feet. He still couldn’t breathe but he knew that if he didn’t move, he would die. The blond stumbled forward. His vision blurred and it was a struggle to force one foot in front of the other. Something heavy thumped behind him. He knew it was that thing.

**_‘No! Someone—’_ **

The monster crashed into Tsuki’s spine. The blond coughed hard before he fell forward. Tsuki slammed against the ground with a heavy weight on his body. Tears streaked Tsuki’s cheeks as he felt like he was suffocating.

**_‘Help me!’_ **

The creature tilted its head back and howled to the moon. A typical thing a wolf did to signal to its pack it had caught food. Tsuki’s stomach dropped at the thought that there were more of these things. And they would all be congregating onto him to eat him alive!

Tsuki spotted a rock barely sticking out of the snow. The blonde’s eyes widened and he reached for it. He dug his finger into the cold snow and pulled the frozen rock out.

Tsuki swung without pause. Else he might develop last minute empathy and recant his swing. Tsuki slammed the rock into the side of the creature’s head. It whimpered in pain and fell off the blond. Tsuki scrambled to his feet, wheezing and gasping for air as he made another dash to escape. He ran once again.

He heard a horrifying roar behind him before the snow started crunching again. The blond looked over his shoulder again. The creature was chasing him once again and it did not look happy. Its lips were pulled back in a permanent snarl with a heavy load of saliva dribbling off its teeth. Its paws dug into the ground with abandon, propelling itself forward at a terrifying pace.

Tsuki was beginning to believe he should give up. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to die by the savage hands of this beast. It probably wouldn’t be a quick and painless death. But there was only so much Tsuki could do. His vision was blurring from exhaustion and lack of oxygen and it was such a fight to keep his limps moving and to keep running. The adrenaline had passed and the pain was hitting him hard. Even if he had the strength to keep going, it would take so much time and effort to pull himself up the steep slopes of the ravine he was trapped in. It would basically be a climb and the monster could easily just jump on his again. His only option was to run but he was painfully aware that he couldn’t keep that up.

He was tired. And he didn’t think there was much he could do about it.

**_‘No. I’m gonna die…’_ **

Tsuki faced forward.

And stared into the gaping jaws of a pure black wolf that was the size of a small house. Said wolf was lunging right at Tsuki.

The blond dropped by pure instinctual reaction. The oversized wolf flew over Tsuki’s head and slammed into the balding half-wolf. The two unnatural monsters began barking and yipping at each other aggressively as they rolled in the snow in a tussle.

Tsuki propped himself on his hands and knees. **_‘Roppi-san…’_**

The werewolf known as Hachimenroppi had the creature pinned underneath him with a paw on its shoulder and on its chest. He was snapping his jaws at monster’s head furiously. The monster was also gnashing his teeth at Roppi, making it so the werewolf couldn’t get a proper grip and the two were mostly slamming their teeth against each other. The creature was also kicking its hindlegs against Roppi’s underbelly and pushing on the canine’s forepaws with its deformed hands.

Roppi backed away as blood began to drip from his stomach. The monster pushed itself up and tried to pin Roppi in return. The two began to tussle again, rolling on the ground as one tried to get on top of the other. They were rolling right towards Tsuki. The blonde’s eyes widened and his instinctive reaction was to run. However, his limbs had no strength to push him out of the way.

Tsuki tucked. He brought his knees to his chest and ducked his head down to his chest as well. He then brought him arms up to protect his face. Not even a moment after he went into the protective position, Tsuki felt a very heavy weight land on him. The vertebrae of someone’s spinal cord stabbed into the blonds ribs. He couldn’t tell if they had punctured or not as pain encased that area.

The weight was off him as soon as it was on him. Tsuki gasped loudly as he tilted his head up to look.

Roppi and the creature rolled two more times before the creature got a firm grip on Roppi’s forepaws and the ground. He slammed Roppi shoulder blade first into the snow. Roppi immediately started kicking at the creature’s stomach with his hindlegs. The monster shifted just enough that Roppi’s paws slid off its side. The monster wolf raised its inhuman hand and brought it down hard. Roppi let out a yelp as blood splattered.

**_‘He’s losing!’_ **

Tsuki looked around himself for something to throw or hit the creature with.

It wasn’t that Tsuki wanted to save his kidnapper. If anything, he would be glad if the monsters killed each other. However, if Roppi lost then this creature would kill Tsuki and Tsuki wasn’t ready to die yet. He wanted to live and Roppi was his best bet to live. So, he had to make sure the werewolf continued to breathe.

Tsuki dug his hand into the snow. His hands hurt and scraped against the snow painfully. His skin was no doubt red. They would probably be bleeding from the hard form of the snow. But he ignored it the best he could. His nails scratched against something solid. The blond wrapped his fingers around the object and he pulled it up.

It was another rock. The blond held the stone firmly and looked back up at the beasts.

Roppi was doing his hardest to keep the monster from biting into his neck. Their jaws were constantly slamming into each other while the creature racked one of its hands against Roppi’s chest. Tsuki could see a liquid glistening off the light of the moon on the black pelt of his kidnapper.

Tsuki took aim and threw the rock. He didn’t take a risk of hitting the monster in the head and hitting Roppi instead, so he aimed for the torso. He hit the creature in its protruding spinal cord. The monster yelped. It whipped its head around so fast and roared at Tsuki, saliva flying from its open mouth.

**_‘Great, now it’s going to come for me.’_ **

Tsuki leaped to his feet and turned to run. The monster pushed off of Roppi to give chase.

The creature roared yet again but it was much farther than it should be for a being in pursuit. Tsuki looked over his shoulder to see Roppi had bit into the monsters hindleg and was pulling it back.

The blond ducked behind the log he had slammed into early to use as cover. The creature turned around and swung its arm at Roppi again. Blood splattered from Roppi’s face however, the werewolf didn’t let go. Roppi pulled the monster away from Tsuki, dragging it through the snow. It continued to swing and claw at Roppi but the werewolf was unrelenting until they were a decent distance away.

Roppi finally let go.

The beast scrambled to its feet and leaped into the air. It landed square on Roppi’s back. The huge wolf howled as four sets of claws dug into his fur. He began to buck savagely, twisting in circles to try and fling it off. The monster held on with seemingly no problem. Roppi rolled, body-slamming the monster into the snow. He stood back up but it was still holding on.

Roppi was starting to tire. Tsuki could hear the werewolf’s heavy breathing and the small wheezes and whimpers. His bucks were slowing and he stopped twisting. He rolled once again but it seemed to be a struggle to get back onto his feet.

 ** _‘What do I do?’_** Tsuki thought.

The monster unlatched its hind legs but kept a firm grip with its front. It slammed its back paws into the ground and gave Roppi a hard push. The oversized black wolf fell over with a bark of pain. Roppi slammed into the snow, a plume of white powder flying around them.

Roppi went to bite at the half-wolf. The monster dipped its head around Roppi’s jaws and sunk its teeth into the side of Roppi’s neck.

“NO!” Tsuki yelled.

The huge wolf let out a yelp, kicking all four legs to try and dislodge the monster. Tsuki scavenged through the snow for another rock. His nails scraped against something again. He wrapped his fingers around it and pulled.

He pulled a branch up this time. It looked more like a club—as it was thick and heavy. He looked up at Roppi. The wolf was barely moving, letting out pitiful whimpers of pain.

Tsuki reached deep inside himself to pull out the remainder of courage he had. He ran forward across the snow, bringing the branch back in a swing. He stood by the monster and slammed the club down onto its head.

It detached and fell away from Roppi, letting out a loud yelp. Tsuki backed away quickly as the monster stumbled. Roppi forced himself onto his front paws and pulled himself away. He pitifully dragged himself only a few feet—barely moving his hinds legs to help—before flopping back into the snow.

“Ge-get up!” Tsuki yelled. “Please!”

The half-wolf turned to glare at Tsuki. The blond stiffened, clenching the branch tightly.

The beast let out a very angry roar at Tsuki and leaped at him. Tsuki screamed and twisted the club so that it was held out parallel to his shoulders. The creature bit into the branch before its body slammed against Tsuki. The two fell to the ground with the monster on top of Tsuki.

The creature tried to tilt its head to get its mouth off of the branch but Tsuki refused it. He pushed the branch up so that it was stabbing against the curls of the beast’s lips and jaws. Tsuki couldn’t stop screaming as he struggled with the much stronger creature. Saliva drizzled onto Tsuki’s face and into his hair. The monster was growling in irritation, its eyes burning red with hatred.

“HELP ME!” Tsuki yelled.

Tsuki felt hot breath touch his ankles right before the beast was jerked back. Its eyes widened as it was pulled off of Tsuki. The blond couldn’t stop the small scream of surprise that escaped him as he scrambled back.

Tsukishima’s eyes widened at his savior. An oversized wolf was biting deep into the creature’s thigh. But this werewolf was a white wolf with florescent pink eyes—no different than a white rabbit.

“Ah…another werewolf…”

The creature roared in rage and turned to swing at the new werewolf.

However, it didn’t get to as _another_ huge wolf came from the side. This one was crème-colored and it latched it jaws over the creature’s shoulder and chest. The creatures head was sticking out of the side of the wolf’s mouth, swinging its arms wildly and gnashing its teeth at nothing.

The white wolf let go of the monster’s leg. It reattached its jaws into the creatures pelvic region.

The two wolves pulled in opposite directions of each other. The creature let out a sickening noise that sounded like a growl, a gurgle, and a retch to vomit. A series of pops started to sound from its torso.

With the next tug, the creature was separated, split in two between the two huge wolves. Tsuki’s eyes widened as spurts of blood and ripped organs flew through the air. The two wolves dropped the sides of the creature they held. The pieces landed on the snow with a stomach-twisting squish.

That noise triggered Tsuki’s mind to start processing. The horror of what he just witnessed finally registered in his mind. Tsuki couldn’t stop the scream that tore through his throat. Bile began to rise in his throat and he quickly turned away.

He vomited all the food he had eaten earlier into the snow. Tears leaked from his eyes while mucus drizzled from his nostrils. Some of the bile had gotten on his red scarf and the sleeves of his shirt with the splatter. Tsuki coughed hard. He rubbed his saliva and the snot away on the upper part of his sleeve.

Tsuki felt hot breath blow on his hair. He stiffened and looked over his shoulder. The crème-colored wolf was staring down at him with deep pools of dark brown orbs. Tsuki screamed and went to stand. He tripped over his own two feet and fell back—away from his vomit, thankfully. His back pressed against the wall of the ravine.

The crème-colored wolf tilted its head, its huge ears flopping. If this was normal-sized dog, Tsuki would have thought that to be irresistibly cute. But it wasn’t. It was a huge werewolf that’s breath smelt of blood.

Tsuki didn’t have anything to defend himself. His stick was behind this werewolf so if this monster decided to attack Tsuki, there was nothing the blond could do about it.

“Uh…ah…um…” Tsuki didn’t know what to say to let this thing know that he was friendly.

But Tsuki didn’t need to do that as the white wolf barked at its partner. The blond wolf looked over its shoulder, Tsuki looking past it to see as well. The white wolf was standing by Roppi, trying to coax the wounded werewolf to his feet. Roppi had his front legs under his chest and was trying to get himself up. His legs were shaking horribly. The white wolf had his head underneath Roppi’s chin to try and keep him up.

The crème-colored wolf rushed over and came around onto Roppi’s other side. He knelt down and put his head under Roppi’s chest. With the help from his friend, Roppi got his back legs underneath him and was standing on wobbly limbs, his breath coming out in heavy pants.

Snow rolled down the ravine walls. Tsuki quickly looked up to see yet another huge wolf. This one was another black wolf. But to Tsuki’s surprise, there was a very human figure on its back.

“What happened?” The person asked, hopping off the huge wolf.

None of the animals answered and Tsuki was too scared to say anything. He didn’t want the wolves to remember he was there. Less they attack him.

The white wolf knelt down and ducked under Roppi’s chest. It put its head in between Roppi’s forepaws and shimmied itself so it was squatting underneath the wounded wolf. It then stood and lifted Roppi off the ground. Roppi let out a whimper and shifted precariously. The crème-colored wolf pressed against Roppi’s side to keep him up. The black wolf on the top of the ravine carefully grabbed a foothold in the snow of the slope. It turned itself sideways and slowly began sliding down until it reached the bottom of the ravine. It came around to stand on Roppi’s other side and pressed itself against the matching black flank.

The three wolves turned as a unit and faced the ravine wall. They dug their huge paws in hard and began trudging, clawing their way up. They slid back a few times but the three managed to get to the top where the human sat waiting. The person pulled himself onto the back of the blond wolf and sat right behind its shoulder blades.

The three wolves then walked away.

Tsuki’s eyes widened as he realized he was being abandoned.

“W-w-wait! Wait!” The blond hopped to his feet and rushed to the slope of the ravine.

Tsuki’s wounds spasmed painfully. The blond cringed, clenching his teeth and wrapping his arms around himself before falling to his knees. He coughed harshly, which made his wounds spasm even more. He couldn’t stop the pitiful whimper that escaped his lips.

The silence of the forest reached Tsuki’s ears. Chills of fear went down his spine. The werewolves were gone. He couldn’t hear them walking. They had abandoned him without looking back. He looked around himself.

His eyes fell on the monster that was torn in two. He didn’t want to, but he glanced over it when he was glancing about and he noticed something.

The creature wasn’t a monster anymore. But a man. A man with dark brown hair and empty, soulless eyes. He was completely naked, his organs strewn out between the two halves of his body. His arms were of normal length, his legs were of normal length and were attached to normal human feet.

**_‘It…shifted back…when it died.’_ **

Tsuki jolted and stood.

**_‘I have to get away from this horrible place!’_ **

The blond turned and rushed down the ravine. He knew he couldn’t get out of the ravine from where he was now. The slope was too steep. But maybe if he headed towards the mountain, the ravine would level out. Tsuki coughed hard, his lungs aching while his wounds spasmed. The start of an asthma attack was coming on now that the fear and adrenaline had subsided. He tried to swallow his cough so he didn’t hurt his wounds.

**_‘I wanna go home. Just let me get home!’_ **

Tsuki pulled his cloak around himself, hugging himself tightly to keep warm. He pulled his scarf up over his nose—this part didn’t have vomit on it—to put warm breathe into his lungs. He’d be okay. His asthma was already starting to get better, he told himself.

Tsuki looked over his shoulder. **_‘I hope they don’t come back for me.’_**

Tsuki coughed softly.

**_‘Please, God, don’t let them come back to get me. Please. Keep me safe on my journey home.’_ **

Tsuki was aware that his limbs were shaking. It was hard for the blond to force one foot in front of the other. The fear and the pain has worked Tsuki to exhaustion and now that the adrenaline was gone, there was nothing but sure willpower keeping Tsuki standing. The blond was determined to get back to his town.

The slopes of the ravine became shorter. The blond looked up briefly to see the mountain range was on his right side—the side he had originally fallen down earlier. Tsuki decided this was as good a place as any to try and climb up.

  The blond walked over to the slope. He dug his feet into the snow, thankful that he couldn’t feel the cold through the insulated tabi’s, and used what was left of his strength to trudge up. He was trying his hardest not to use his hands as they felt painfully cold and he didn’t want to make them worse. But, unfortunately, he had to as he started sliding back. He dug his fingertips into the snow and pulled himself up. Using all four limbs to pull and push, he made it to the top of the ravine, where he fell to his knees in the deep snow.

 ** _‘I’m so cold.’_** Tsuki shivered vigorously. **_‘Everything is wet, all my clothes.’_**

Tsuki forced himself to his feet.

**_‘I need to find a place where I can hunker down and stay warm for the night. I’ll get frostbite like this.’_ **

Tsuki looked up.

**_‘I’ll…Let’s make it to the base of the mountain. At least Roppi won’t turn around to get me if I make it that far in one night…’_ **

Tsuki clenched his teeth. His teeth started to clatter as his shivers elevated to shakes.

**_‘So cold…It’s so cold.’_ **

Tsuki was once again, struggling to put one foot in front of the other. His lungs were burning, his vision was blurring. He stumbled more than once and had to lean against trees to keep upright.

**_‘Maybe…I should try to hunker down now…I’m so cold, I don’t think I’ll make—’_ **

Tsuki’s thought was cut short as a blur of white leapt in front of him. Tsuki let out a scream of surprise and jolted back. He stumbled over the tree roots and fell back, sinking into the snow.

The white werewolf loomed over Tsuki. The blond scrambled back until his back was pressed to the tree. The wolf moved closer.

“No, g-g-get back!” Tsuki tried to push himself farther on reflex but he obviously went nowhere.

The wolf leaned down, touching Tsuki’s chest with his cold nose. He sniffed the blond, nuzzling him with his nose.

**_‘I’m covered in blood. It’s sniffing the blood! It’s going to eat me!’_ **

Tsuki dug his hands into the snow, trying to reach for anything he could use to defend himself. His fingertips touched something solid. The blond wrapped his finger around it and lifted to see if it was a tree root. It wasn’t. It was indeed a branch.

Tsuki pulled the branch up and swung without pause. He smacked the wolf hard in the side of the face. The animal let out a painful whimper as it backed away. Tsuki pushed himself to his feet and turned around. He began climbing the tree, knowing it was the only chance he had. He couldn’t outrun the beast, but dogs couldn’t climb trees, right?

Tsuki pulled himself up branch by branch. His feet slipped on the icy wood, which caused him to hug the branch to his chest to keep himself from falling. That in turn made the injuries on his chest spasm. He called out in pain before he got his footing and pulled himself up. He continued his ascend.

He heard a furious bark behind him and felt the tree shift. Tsuki hugged the base of the tree tightly and looked down. The white wolf, who had its left eye closed and a gash on its cheek where Tsuki had hit it, was slamming its front paws against the tree.

**_‘Does it plan to knock the tree down?!’_ **

The wolf looked up at Tsuki and barked at him over and over. It was terrifying and loud. It then slammed its front paws against the tree again, but this time it dug its claws in. It propelled itself up just enough to hook its teeth into Tsuki’s cloak. The blond screamed as he was getting pulled by the much stronger creature. Tsuki was getting choked. He reached up to untie his cloak.

As soon as he let go of the branch with one hand, he was unable to keep ahold with the other. The blond was pulled out of the tree. Tsuki screamed before slamming into the snow. The blanket of white acted as a pillow, so the blond didn’t get winded. Tsuki immediately pulled on his cloak, trying to tug it out of the beast’s mouth.

The white wolf let Tsuki go and took a step back. Tsuki went to stand to run.

A blur of black came from Tsuki’s left. He looked to see another oversized wolf charging at Tsuki. The blond had no chance. Tsuki let out a scream and hunkered low, folding his arms over his head to try and at least protect himself before he broke down into tears. Nothing he did was going to help him. The hopelessness of his situation was too much for him to bear anymore and he couldn’t stop himself from crying.

Nothing happened. Tsuki heard the snow crunch in front and behind his head but that was all. The blond peeked through his arms to see the white wolf was glaring death at him a few feet away. Its lips were pulled back in a snarl and its head was low to the ground. It was obvious the beast wanted to pounce on Tsuki. But the black wolf, who was standing over Tsuki, made it so the white wolf couldn’t.

**_‘It’s…protecting me?’_ **

“Ro-Roppi-san?”

The black wolf looked down at Tsuki. Radiant orbs of pink stared down at him.

**_‘Pink eyes. No, this can’t be Roppi. He’s not bleeding or anything.’_ **

The white wolf growled at the two. They looked back at it. It still looked extremely pissed off. The black wolf let out small half barks in respond. The white wolf barked.

**_‘Are they…talking?’_ **

The black wolf let out a small yip, which made the white wolf snort and turn away.

The black wolf finally stepped off of Tsuki. It took a few paces to the side before nuzzling Tsuki with its nose. Tsuki pushed himself to his feet, coughing harshly. He shivered, hugging himself tight. He coughed again, his vision beginning to blur.

**_’I’m so tired…I can’t take anymore scares. My heart will give out at this rate…’_ **

The black wolf nuzzled Tsuki again. The blond, who had absolutely no stamina to try and keep balance, decided that sitting down was the best alternative and let himself plop back into the snow. The black wolf stared at Tsuki for a moment then gave him a gentle shove to try and get him to his feet.

“O-ow…”

The wolf stopped. It paced around Tsuki in uncertainty. Tsuki’s form was racked with coughs, his breath coming out in wheezes.

**_‘I’m gonna faint…’_ **

The black wolf bent one knee and let its other front paw slide outwards. It lowered into an elegant bow with its front half pressed to the ground and its hind quarters in the air. It looked at Tsuki expectantly.

Tsuki couldn’t work up the effort to move.

The white wolf came around Tsuki and gave the blond a harsh shove. Tsuki fell forward, catching himself on his hands. A harsh cough racked his system. His throat was so tight, he had to gasp in order to get air in his lungs.

**_‘Can’t…breathe…’_ **

The white wolf gave him another shove. Tsuki fell on his side.

“Stah…” Tsuki couldn’t even speak as coughs were constantly leaving his throat.

The white wolf growled. Tsuki felt warm breath against his back before sharp teeth dug into his torso.

“Ow…”

The wolf, holding Tsuki in its jaws like a fresh kill, picked Tsuki up. It titled its head back and opened its mouth for a millisecond so Tsuki could slide further down its rows of teeth. The human now sat completely in the beast’s mouth instead of at the tip.

“N-n-* **Kaff*** No. P-put me ***Kaff, kuff, hak*** ” Tsuki’s words devolved into coughs.

The wolf turned and began to walk. Tsuki saw the black one following close behind.

**_‘I can’t…’_ **

Tsuki’s vision was nothing more than a blur. He couldn’t make out any discernable features. His throat hurt, his head was going numb from lack of oxygen.

**_‘I feel…like…I’m dying…’_ **

Black seeped into Tsuki’s vision until that was all he could see.


	3. Chapter 3

Tsuki felt pain in his chest. He didn’t have the strength to open his eyes to see what was happening to him, which was making him panic. It felt like something was constantly stabbing him. As if sowing him...

Tsuki forced his eyes open. A pair of scissors and a needle were in front of his face. Tsuki screamed and backed away. The person—a brunette with russet brown eyes—backed away quickly. Tsukishima was lying on a soft bed, underneath a thick blanket. He pushed the blanket off him and jumped off the bed. He had his pants on but everything else was removed, including his shoes. He turned to see his cloak and scarf on the edge of the bed and grabbed them. He saw a pair of huge, wooden, double doors and ran for them.

Someone grabbed his wrist. Tsuki's bare feet slid on the carpet. The blond called out in surprise as his slid in between the legs of the person who held him. A man with hair so blond it looked white and bright pink eyes glared down at him. His left eye had several broken blood vessels, making the sclera bright red. Which made the glare even more terrifying.

“Let me go!” Tsuki screamed.

Tsuki kicked wildly. He felt his foot slam into the spot between the man's leg. Those pink eyes widened and he let out a call of pain. He let Tsuki go and the frightened teen immediately scrambled back. The man dropped to his knees while holding his crotch.

Tsuki pushed himself to his feet and ran to the doors. The blond pushed on the door, but it didn't budge. He grabbed the door handle and pulled. The door opened and he ran into a hallway. He looked left then right. He had no clue where he was but this place was huge and extravagant. There were several doors along the hallway. Tsuki chose a random direction—the left—and ran.

His bare feet pounded against the carpet floor. His breathing was already getting uneven and he had no energy to move his limbs. He tried his best to ignore it and keep running. He didn't know where he was and he didn't want to know. He just wanted to get out of here. Away from the people who were hurting him and putting sharp objects in his face.

Tsukishima saw a staircase in front of him. Hope soared. He quickened his pace and flew down the steps. The stairs ended and he stood on a small, carpeted platform. Across from him was another staircase that led to the west wing of this gigantic place. To his left was another staircase, this one was longer and wider and it led to a grand hall with tall pillars holding up the ceiling. Huge double doors were on the other side of the room.

If Tsuki knew anything about mansions from the books he's read, those doors should lead to the outside. He didn't have a shirt but he didn't care. He just needed to run.

Tsuki pulled on his cloak as he rushed down the steps. He miraculously didn't trip until he reached the bottom step. He fell to his knees and quickly pushed himself up. He ran down the hall to the doors.

He grabbed the huge door handle and pulled as hard as he could. The door didn't budge. He groaned before coughing harshly. He then tried again, putting his foot against the other door to try and get more leverage to pull.

“Come…on…!” The teen groaned through clenched teeth.

“I wouldn't do that if I were you. It's blizzarding out there.”

Tsuki jolted and looked over his shoulder. A man with perfect features stood in one of the doorways on the side of the great hall. He had pitch black hair and dark eyes, wearing a white undershirt with a collar that flared around his neck, a black long sleeve, and a black cloak around his biceps that was red on the underside. There was seemingly nothing inhuman about this man but Tsuki did not trust him. Looks could be very deceiving.

“Heh, even if it wasn't storming,” The man said, “you really intend to walk out in the snow with no shoes and no shirt?”

“Ah, um...”

“WHERE IS HE?!”

Tsuki jolted and the two looked up at the stairs.

The blond Tsuki had kicked was standing on the steps leading to the east wing. He held onto the railing, glaring death down the stairs. His eyes locked with Tsuki, making the frightened teen jolt.

“You little fucker, come here NOW!”

Tsuki stiffened.

“Wait, Rubi, calm down!” The black-haired man who had been holding scissors at Tsuki earlier came rushing down the steps and grabbed the angry blonde’s arm with one hand—in the other was a sizable bag.

“What's going on here?” A new voice said.

“Ah, Shizu-chan.” The brunette with the flowing cape looked over his shoulder.

A blond man stepped into sight. He wore long black robes. If Tsuki didn't know better, he would think that man is a priest.

Tsuki's eyes widened and jolted. “F-Father! Father, help!”

Tsuki ran over to the priest as fast as he could.

“Hey, you!” The angry blond yelled, rushing down the steps.

“He-help!” Tsuki buried his face into the priest’s chest, holding onto his robes tightly as tears began to leak from his eyes. “Help me, Father, please! Th-there-there are we-werewolves—they're all werewolves! Please, you must do-do-do something!” Tsuki looked up at him. “Help me! Please!”

“You piece of shit, I should be the one asking for help!” The angry blond yelled, making Tsuki jolt. Tsuki looked over his shoulder at him, so did the Father. “You fucked up my eye and kicked me in the fucking balls! Who the fuck are you to ask for help?!”

“Rubi, stop.” The Father said. “You brought it on yourself, most-likely. Can't you see this boy is terrified?”

 ** _'Eh?'_** Tsuki's eyes widened. **_'The Father knows him by name?'_**

“I didn't do anything!” Rubi yelled.

“I don't believe you.” The priest said.

“The fuck is that, Shizuo?!”

“Wait, Rubi,” the brunette with russet eyes grabbed the angry blonde's shoulder. “Please, just calm down.”

“Cal—the fuck, Toudai?!”

“Please, Rubi!” The man grabbed the blonde's hand with both of his. “I can't finish his stitches if you keep scaring him.”

'Rubi' growled, pulling his lip back in an animalistic snarl. 'Toudai' didn't flinch, just stared at him with a pleading smile. Rubi snorted and turned away.

“What the fuck ever.”

The Father hugged Tsukishima close, rubbing his biceps comfortingly. “It's okay. Don't worry about Rubi. He has a lot of bark, but he rarely bites.”

“Don’t tempt me.” Rubi snorted.

“Y…you’re…friends with…” Tsuki stared at Rubi.

“With who?” Rubi glared at him.

“Yo-you’re the white wolf from last night…”

“Yeah, I fucking am. You fucking did this to me, you asshole!” Rubi pointed to his injured eye. “Went out of my way for you and you fucking hit me with a tree branch!”

“I-I thought you-you were go-going to eat me!”

“Why the fuck would I do that?!”

“You’re a-a werewolf! It’s wha-what-what you do!”

“THE FUCK IS THAT?!” Rubi looked at Tsuki with complete hate, taking an angry step towards him as if he planned to charge but stopped mid-push. Tsuki jolted and grabbed the priest tighter. ‘Shizuo’ instinctively turned so he was in between Rubi and Tsuki. “What in the fuck kind of logic is that?! Werewolves eat people cuz that’s what they do? Then why the fuck are you with Roppi?!”

“It’s not l-l-l-like I’m with him-him—with him by choice!” Tsuki screamed, burying his face into Shizuo’s chest. “I don’t want—I don’t want to be here-here! I just want to go-go home! But Hachimenro-roppi…he…”

Tsuki felt tears threatening to rise. His grip on the priest’s robes tightened and he clenched his teeth hard enough to make them ache. He then buried his face deep into those holy robes and began to cry with abandon.

“I just want-want to go home…”

Rubi said nothing. Tsuki didn’t care. All he could think to do was cry.

“Um…excuse me…” A timid, new voice said.

Tsuki turned to look towards the door that Shizuo and the other man had come from. Another brunette stood against the door, holding it sheepishly. He wore traditional attire—a white yukata with a cherry blossom haori over it. Behind him stood a blond wearing a black tail coat with matching black pants and a white button up underneath.

“Um,” the brunette said. “I understand that last night must have been terrifying. Lycan’s are vicious creatures with no sense of morale. You must have suffered greatly. But…I can assure you, that such an encounter is a fluke. It will not happen again. Um…if you decided to leave with Roppi, then…you shouldn’t let the lycan change your mind now.”

Tsuki’s eyes widened to the words. He was visibly appalled as his whole form began to shake.

“Wh-what are you talking about?! I-I-I I didn’t decide—I didn’t decide anything with Ha-Hachimenroppi. He-he forced me to go! It’s why—it’s why I tried…last night, I was trying to get away from him and th-th-th-that… _thing_ , that monster tr-tried to kill me!”

“You!” Rubi yelled. “Are you trying to imply that Roppi kidnapped you?!”

“I’m-I’m n-not implying anything.”

“Then what are you trying to say?!”

“I think,” the brunette with the flowing cloak bent forward, his arms tucked behind his back while a thick grin crossed his lips, “our little blond is saying there’s nothing to imply because everything he says is fact.”

“BULLSHIT!”

Tsuki jumped. The blond tried to back away but the priest wouldn’t let him go.

“Facts?! FACTS?! Facts my ass!” Rubi yelled. “We all know Roppi wouldn’t do something like kidnapping! You!”

Rubi stepped up to Tsuki. The blond tried desperately to back away now but again, Shizuo refused him. The angry bright blond grabbed Tsuki’s arm and gave a harsh tug, pulling him away from the priest.

“I don’t know what kind of shit you’re trying to spew but none of us are buying it!”

“I—I’m not—I’m not—”

“Rubi, stop!” The priest pulled on the snow blonde’s hands. “You’re terrifying the poor boy!”

“So fucking what?! How the hell are you sitting here calmly when he’s talking shit about Roppi?!”

“Let him go. NOW!”

Tsuki jolted at the scream from the priest. He looked back at Shizuo to see he was glaring at the snow blond. Tsuki felt fear rise momentarily. However, he realized that he shouldn’t fear a man of God, especially not when a werewolf had a vice grip on his arm.

Rubi casted Shizuo a glare. Pink locked with brown. Rubi then snorted and released. Tsuki rushed back to Shizuo’s side. The priest wrapped his arms around the young blond and began rubbing his arms reassuringly.

“Child, are you one with God?” Shizuo asked, looking down at Tsuki.

Tsuki looked up at him with wide-eyes before nodding vigorously. “Y-yes, yes! I-I am his sheep an-and he is m-my shepherd!”

“Then you would not lie to me—a prophet of God.”

“Of course not!”

“Even if you are speaking of someone you may dislike or have a problem with.”

“I-I know! Thou-thou shalt not bare f-false witness.”

“Even against someone who is different from you.”

“Diff…I-I know.” Tsuki was started to feel confused.

“Let the boy sit, Shizu-chan.” The brunette with the flowing cloak said. “Toudai-san should finish putting his stitches in, else his wounds will get infected.”

“On that note,” the blond with the tail coat said, “boy, do you remember if that creature from last night bit you or drooled on you?”

“Um…why, um…”

“Let’s let the boy sit!” the brunette repeated. He walked over and touched Tsuki’s shoulder. “Come, you may rest in here. My name is Orihara Izaya. I’m the master of this establishment.”

“I…I’m Tsuki-Tsukishi—Tsuk-Tsukishima.”

“What’s your family name?”

“Um…”

Tsuki didn’t know what that was and it must have showed on his face as the man nodded.

“I see, I see. Where are you from, Tsukishima?” The brunette gripped the boy’s hands gently and led him into the room, walking backwards to keep eye contact with Tsuki.

“Um, um, m-my town do-doesn’t hav-have a name.” Tsuki pulled his hand from Izaya’s to wipe the tears from his eyes. “Bu-but the moun-mountain range to-to the ea-ea-east—to the east, um, it’s over-over there in the va-valley on the other side-ide.”

“That’s quite the stutter you have, Tsukishima.”

Tsuki jolted. “I-I’m s-sor-sorry. I-I can’t hel-help it.”

“It’s alright.”

“No, it’s not.” Rubi growled behind Tsuki. The blond jolted again. “It’s annoying.”

Orihara Izaya chuckled, a smile crossing his features that set Tsuki on edge. “Rubi, I would like you to wait outside.”

“Wha—why?!”

“You keep frightening him. If he’s tense while Toudai’s putting the stitches in, it’ll make it harder for him.”

“That…”

“He’s right.” Toudai came around and put his hand in Rubi’s. He smiled at the snow blond warmly. “Please wait out here until I’m done.”

Rubi openly glowered. He then sighed heavily in defeat as he gave Toudai’s hand a squeeze. “Fine.”

Toudai chuckled. “Thank you. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

The two leaned in and kissed. Tsuki’s eyes widened and he openly grimaced to the sin displayed before him. He looked up at Shizuo. The priest didn’t seem to care as he walked past the two and pulled up a chair.

 ** _‘Why is he okay with that?!’_** Tsuki thought, feeling appalled.

Izaya went over to a table in the center of the room. He pulled one of the numerous chairs out and gestured for Tsuki to sit. The blond obeyed and sat.

**_‘Something isn’t right here. Right with this priest.’_ **

Tsuki glanced at Shizuo.

**_‘Why is a man of God okay with talking to werewolves? He…He knows they’re werewolves if he knows them by their names. And Rubi confirmed he’s a werewolf earlier so it’s not that he’s ignorant.’_ **

The priest made eye contact with Tsuki and the blond jolted, blushed and looked elsewhere.

**_‘I shouldn’t judge, especially not a man of God. I’m sure there’s a reason.’_ **

Tsuki decided to take in his surroundings instead of wondering about the strange priest.  The room he sat in looked like a workshop. All the walls had bookshelves covering them. Every shelf was filled to the brim with books, except for three that were filled with strange jars and bottles that held multicolored liquids in them. There was a desk to the side that was covered in papers and utensils that Tsuki didn’t know what they were for.

Toudai walked over while Rubi closed the door behind him. The nameless blond and brunette in the room sat down in adjacent chairs while the master sat down on the table. Shizuo also took a seat on the table.

Toudai grabbed a stool from the desk and brought it over to sit in front of Tsuki. He put the bag he was carrying on the table and sat down.

“I’m going to give you some more anesthetics.” The man said. “I didn’t want to give you too much while you were sleeping but I must have not given you enough. You seemed to be in pain earlier.”

Tsuki didn’t know what an anesthetic was. And that must have shown on his face since Toudai gave him a soft, understanding smile.

“I’ll only give you a little bit more.”

Toudai pulled out a small glass bottle and a strange object that looked similar to a turkey injector. He put the tip of the needle into the top of the bottle and began filling it with a clear liquid.

“Um…” Tsuki moved his chair back a bit. “Wh-what are you doing?”

“Don’t worry, this will only help you.”

“Um…”

He put the needle down and pulled out a small cloth. He then pulled another bottle out, this one black and much bigger, and opened it. He put the cloth on the mouth of the bottle and tilted it upside down then immediately put it right side up. He put the cap back on the bottle and put the bottle on the table.

“Can I see your arm please?” Toudai said.

“Why? Wh-what are you doing?”

“I don’t want to inject you when you’re skins dirty.”

“Inject, um, wait, I don’t—I don’t need th-that.” Tsuki backed his chair away some more, holding the seat between his legs tightly so that Toudai couldn’t force his arms up. It caused his biceps to rub his wounds; he swallowed the groan of pain.

“Yes, you do. It’ll nullify your pain, so I can do this without you struggling against me.”

“I’ve nev-never needed a-a-a-a thing-thing like that be-before and I’ve had sti-stitches befor-ore. I’ve-I’ve never ev-even heard of ane-um…what’s it cal-called?”

“Anesthetic.”

“Y-yeah, that. I’ve ne-never heard of it before.”

Izaya chuckled. “Your town must be very rural, huh, Tsuki-chan?”

“Um, I don-don’t know. Pr-probably? We-we don’t have hou-houses like this in my town. The-they’re all handmade.”

Izaya smiled, cocking a brow. “Do you not use honorifics in your town?”

“Eh? N-no, we-we do.”

“You didn’t have any reaction to the use of ‘chan’. If you’re town was as rural as I thought, I would assume boys wouldn’t like that.”

“Oh, um, um,” Tsuki glanced at the ground and shifted uncomfortably. “I-I’m not…um, a tradi-traditional b-boy.”

“Eh?” Izaya leaned forward, his nose brushing against Tsuki’s, he was so close. The blond backed away as a blush crossed his cheeks. “What’s that supposed to mean? Are you implying you’re a hermaphrodite?”

“Wh-what’s that? N-no, I don’t think I…I am.”

“Then maybe you’re a girl, dressing like a boy.”

“Um…”

“Flea, back off.” Shizuo grabbed Izaya’s cloak and gave a tug. “None of that is important.”

“I’d beg to differ. If Roppi-chan decided to kidnap this child, the answers as to why are in his background and upbringing.” Izaya turned back to Tsuki. “Do you mind explaining what you meant by that?”

“Tsukishima-kun,” Toudai said, “Let me give you some anesthetics before you start this conversation. You may have never needed them before but there’s no point for you to suffer needlessly.”

“I’m, I’m really fine.” Tsuki glanced at him, keeping his arms where they were. “I don-don’t need a stran-stranger put-putting anything in-in me…”

“I’m a doctor, Tsukishima-kun. You can trust me.”

Tsuki scoffed, keeping his eyes on the ground. “A d-doctor that’s a-a werewolf? Sure, I’ll trust th-that.”

“Um, Tsukishima, I think you have me confused. I’m not a werewolf. I’m a human, just like you.”

Tsuki’s eyes widened. He looked up at the doctor. “B-but you an-and the white—and Rubi. You said yo-you loved each-each other so I-I thought you were th-th-the black wolf from yes-yesterday.”

“No, I’m the black wolf from yesterday.” The nameless brunette in the pink haori spoke up. He then pointed at the nameless blond. “He’s the blond wolf.”

Said blond confirmed with a nod.

Tsuki was taken aback. He looked at Toudai, wide-eyed. “I-if you’re a human then why are you—why are you pro-proclaim—saying you love a we-werewolf?! Y-you’re a man, as-as well! You’ll burn for su-such—wha-wait, are-are you like me? Are you-you trapped he-here too?”

“Um…” Toudai started to look uncomfortable now as he twiddled with the cloth in his hand. “No. There’s nothing like that between Rubi and I. Our relationship is completely consensual.”

Tsuki’s eyes widened. “…You’re a-a deviant…”

“Um…” Toudai looked at the ground as he pushed his hair behind his ear. “I guess so. That’s what my town called me.” He then looked up at Tsuki. “But regardless of that, I’m still a capable doctor who was trusted by my fellow townsfolk. Even the priest trusted me.”

Tsuki shifted in discomfort. He was torn now. He didn’t know if he wanted to let this man work on him or not. On one hand, he needed stitches or his wounds could get infected. He knew that well enough. But he wasn’t necessarily okay with a deviant being the one to do it. Of course, for all Tsuki knew, this man was the only person who knew how to do it.

“Um…” Tsuki started. “Is-is there n-no one else capa-capable of pu-putting in sti-stitches?”

“Oi!” The nameless blond glowered at Tsuki immediately. The boy jolted and looked at him. “He’s trying to help—”

“It’s alright, Shitsuo-san.” Toudai said. The deviant smiled at Tsuki warmly. “Unfortunately, I’m all you have right now. No one else is qualified to do this.”

“I…I don’t re-really care for qua-qualifications. I care for ca-capability.”

“No one in here is capable.”

Tsuki’s displeasure showed. He stared at the ground with confliction.

**_‘I don’t have much of a choice…’_ **

Tsuki let out a heavy sigh while his shoulders slumped in defeat.

**_‘I haven’t had much of a choice since Hachimenroppi kidnapped me. Why should this be anything new?’_ **

“O-Okay…”

Toudai smiled. “Thank you. Now, let me see your arm.”

Tsuki looked up at him. “I don-don’t agree to th-that. I-I’ll be fine without that th-thing you men-mentioned. I-I won-won’t pull away e-either…”

“Are you sure?”

“Y-yes.”

Toudai let out a small sigh, his smile staying in place. “Okay. Please, take off your cloak, then.”

Tsuki nodded. He reached up and untied his cloak from around his neck. He hesitated stripping it off, as he didn’t want to be shirtless around strangers. It was a strange concept considering he was already shirtless but the cloak made him feel like he was clothed.

Tsuki pulled the cloak off and put it in his lap. Toudai scooted his chair closer and grabbed the cloth he had gotten wet earlier. He dabbed it against Tsuki’s injuries on his chest. The blond winced as it immediately began to sting. However, he tilted his head up to not impede the deviant doctor.

Toudai grabbed a needle with thread attached to the end, tweezers, and scissors and began to work on Tsuki’s injury. Tsuki clenched his teeth but made no attempt to stop him.

“Tsuki-kun.” The blond known as Shitsuo said.

“Hm?” Tsuki closed one eye in pain.

“Did the lycan drool on you last night?”

“Um…” Tsuki winced. “Ye-yes. It was-was drooling a-a lot.”

“Did the drool get into your injury or in your mouth?”

“As-as far as I know, n-no.”

“Did it bite you?”

“Mm-mm.” Tsuki denied without opening his mouth. “Wh-why?”

“Well, Lycan’s are the ones that give werewolves a bad name.” Izaya said, smiling down at Tsuki. “See, werewolves can’t turn people into werewolves. It’s a bloodline; you have to be born that way. But lycan’s are the opposite. Lycan’s are created by a witches curse or by some other form of dark magic. They were once men that for some reason or another scorned someone who could use dark magic and so they were turned into that beast. Every full moon, they turn into that thing that you saw last night. And its saliva holds the curse so if it bites anyone, it’ll turn them into a lycan, as well.”

Tsuki jolted, his eyes going wide. “W-wh—”

“Don’t move, Tsuki-kun.” Toudai said with a stern voice.

“S-sorry.”

“Are you for certain you weren’t bitten?” Shitsuo asked.

“Y-y-yes. I wasn’t-wasn’t bi-bitten.”

“And it didn’t drool into your wounds?”

“I-I-I don’t…I don’t know. I don’t thin-think so. I wasn’t re-really worrying a-about that a-at the t-time.”

“I’m fairly certain we’re fine.” Izaya interjected, looking at Shitsuo. “He had two layers of clothes on last night. You didn’t find any residue on him when you cleaned his wounds, did you, Toudai-san?”

“None that I could see.”

“I-Is there-there a cure—a cure?” Tsuki asked, trying his hardest not to move despite his pain and his rising anxiety for his well-being.

“Not for humans.” Izaya delivered the terrifying news with a smile. “You need to inject about half-a-cup of liquified silver into the system. You then need to keep the body heated so that the silver won’t solidify in the veins. Human’s aren’t strong enough to handle that kind of procedure. They’d die from poisoning or heat stroke or heart failure. Werewolves have very strong immune systems; they never get sick and rarely get infections, so their bodies will break down the metal before it reaches the brain or heart.”

“Ho-how do you kn-kn-know so much a-about werewolves? Are-are you one of th-them?”

“Oh no no no! Of course not! I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I reeked of dog everyday!”

Shizuo glared at Izaya. Izaya merely smiled back.

**_‘He’s not, then is he a human like Toudai-san?’_ **

“I just study many things.” Izaya continued. “Werewolves are nothing but mongrels, but they have their moments that peek my interest.”

“O-oh, oka—” Tsuki’s words were cut as he gasped loudly, jolting forward. “Wa-wait, Roppi-san! He was bit—”

“Don’t move!” Toudai yelled.

Tsuki jolted, his eyes going wide with shock. “S-s-s-sorry!”

Toudai glowered up at him for a moment. “You need to be cautious, Tsukishima-kun. I have sharp objects next to your neck.”

“I-I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Just don’t move again.”

“Ok-kay.”

Toudai smiled at him warmly before going back to the task at hand.

“U-um, bu-but is, is Roppi-san…?”

“Is he what?” Izaya asked.

“Is he…o-okay or-or…?”

Izaya smiled. “He’ll be alright. We got to him just in time. He’ll be under for the next three days or so.”

“Three days—To-Toudai-san, pa-pause!”

“Does it hurt?” Toudai retracted his hands.

“N-no—we-well, yes, it do-does but that’s n-n-not why.”

Tsuki tilted his head down. He then turned to stare at the priest.

“F-Father, pl-please, be-before Roppi-san wa-wakes up, ta-take me to you-your church! Ro-Roppi-san won’t be ab-able to follow me there!”

Shitsuo’s eyes narrowed. Shizuo, Toudai, and the unnamed brunette looked at Tsuki with confusion. Izaya merely grinned.

Izaya chuckled. “Well, he could follow you if he wanted to. Shizu-chan’s church hasn’t been visited by the holy order just yet.”

“Bu-bu-but we-werewolves can’t cr-cross onto hol-holy ground!” Tsuki said with conviction. He recalled Hachimenroppi telling him that wasn’t true but why should Tsuki believe the likes of him? For all the blond knew he was just saying that to cut off Tsuki’s options of escaping. “So, all-all I’d have-have to do is wai-wait inside unt-until the holy order arrives. F-Father Tom sa-said he’d be goin-going to the next town ov-over the mountain so I-I’m sure he-he’ll bring the holy or-order through that way! Th-then Father Tom—I can go home with F-Father Tom.”

Izaya held back a laugh, putting his hand over his mouth to try and keep it in. Tsuki tilted his head in confusion.

“Who told you that, Tsuki-kun?” Toudai asked.

“R-Roppi—er, I gu-guess Ro-Roppi’s gre-great great gr-grandfather. H-he,” Tsuki tilted his head down to clear his throat, trying to stop his stuttering. “The we-werewolf attacked ou-our rath, ki-killing people no-nonstop the-then a chur-church was erected and ev-everyone took sanc-sanctuary there. The-the wolf couldn’t-couldn’t get to them so-so it start-started destroying the ho-houses. Th-th-then the ma-mayor at the time, dur-during a blood moon, spoke to the wo-wolf and they cam-came to an agreement—”

“Who told you this story?” Shizuo interrupted.

“Fa-Father Tom. It-it’s a sto-story that’s been pa-pasted down for gen-generation. We-we give—gave—our be-be-best livestock to-to-to the wolf to appease i-it. That-that’s how we’ve been li-living.”

**_‘Until now.’_ **

The group of people glanced at each other.

“Wh-what?” Tsuki furrowed his brow in worry.

“You poor, poor child.” Izaya grinned, looking beautiful and evil all in one swoop. Tsuki stiffened on reflex. “You’re so ignorant of the world around you, you may as well be blind.”

“…Um…what do-do you—”

“Let me educate you a bit.” Izaya leaned in close. “Werewolves can enter holy ground. Roppi’s ancestor stopped his rampage when the church came because he had his fill of violence but he still wanted revenge for the death of his daughter.”

Tsuki’s eyes stretched wide. **_‘How does he kno—’_**

“Hachimenroku wasn’t scared of the church or anything. He let your rath believe what they wanted and they wanted to believe Roku was an evil, vile creature of the devil. They weren’t going to change their opinion on him now, so might as well play up the part, was Roku’s reasoning. We had quite the chuckle about it all those years ago.”

**_‘Years ago? How-how old is—’_ **

Izaya tilted his head in a cat-like manner, that smile never fading.

“There’s nothing unholy about werewolves. They can cross onto holy ground all they want. In fact, I know many werewolves who go to church on a regular basis to hear the word of God. The best example to my statement is the priest who stands before you.”

Izaya gestured to Shizuo.

“Izay—” the man of God tried to interrupt.

“He’s ordained by the church.” Izaya continued without pause. “A true child of God. And he’s the leader of the pack of werewolves Roppi-chan belongs to. Born and raised werewolf, dressed in God’s holy robes. Baptizing, offering wine and bread, spreading God’s holy words for all to hear. A werewolf, Tsuki-chan, is a prophet of the God who should supposedly scorn him.”

Tsuki’s blood turned to ice. He felt the warmth drain from his face as he paled completely. His eyes were as round as moons and his grip on his pants were as tight as a snake’s bite.

“Yo-you’re—YOU’RE LYING!”

Tsuki stood, pushing himself back, which knocked the chair over. The blond backed away from the blasphemer as he hugged his cloak to his chest in some form of protection he didn’t understand.

“Tsu—” Toudai tried.

“God-God wouldn’t allow a hellspawn to become one of his di-disciples! He would have—he would have let thos-those faithful know of this de-deception! Th-the Devil can’t become a man of God! Fa-Father Shizuo isn’t—”

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!”

The doors behind Tsuki burst open, slamming against the wall hard. Tsuki’s eyes stretched wide. He quickly looked over his shoulder to see the enraged blond known as…

“Rubi, wait!” Shizuo called.

Rubi rushed Tsuki. The blond teenager scrambled to turned around and back away but this man was much faster than him, much faster than Tsuki was ready for. Strong hands grabbed Tsuki’s biceps hard, hard enough to hurt him. He let out a yelp but it was short-lived as Rubi brought his face centimeters away from Tsuki’s.

“God, you say?!” Rubi yelled. “What the fuck do you know about God, huh?! Do you think God would want His children to turn on each other and call each other monsters?! Do you think God would condone murder so long as it’s in His name?! Do you think man is doing God a service by smearing His name in never-ending blood with this holy order?! Who the hell are you to decide who’s a hellspawn?! Who the hell are you to decide what God would or wouldn’t do?! Who the flying FUCK are you to call anyone a DEVIL?! HUH?!”

Tsuki couldn’t answer. He was too terrified to answer. He wanted to scream, run, and put up a fight all at once but his body couldn’t move at all. The only respond he had was to cry.

 “Why the hell are you crying, huh?” Rubi yelled. “What, did you realize how fucking wrong you were and like a fucking kid caught in a lie, you just cry hoping someone will save you?! Well, news flash, no one’s going to fucking save you! This is how the real world works! You don’t get to remain ignorant! You either understand how the world works or you fucking die, do you understand me?!” Rubi started shaking Tsuki hard.

**_‘He’s going to kill me.’_ **

“Rubi, stop it!” Shizuo yelled.

“Rubi!” Toudai reached out and grabbed Rubi’s arm. “You’re going to hurt him!”

“How the fuck can Roppi have chosen you?!” Rubi yelled without missing a beat. “It’s people like you that have made our lives living hell! You don’t fucking deserve to be part of the pack!”

**_‘I don’t want to be part of the pack!’_ **

“O-o-okay, okay—” Tsuki tried.

“Okay?! What the fuck are you okay with? ‘Okay, stop yelling at me!’ Fuck no, your dumb ass need to fucking learn from his mistakes! You can’t fucking decide one minute to be with Roppi then the next spew all that hellspawn crap!”

**_‘I don’t want to be with Hachimenroppi!’_ **

“I-I didn’t—”

“You just fucking did you LYING PIECE OF SHIT!”

**_‘Please listen to me!’_ **

“Rubi, stop it!” Toudai pulled on Rubi hard but there was no effect.

 “No, I just—”

“You just what?!” Rubi continued to yell.

**_‘Please let me speak!’_ **

“Just thought you could say whatever you want and get away with it?”

**_‘You’re misunderstanding!’_ **

“Sorry, there are repercussions out in the real world!”

**_‘Please!’_ **

“You fucking get punished for your mistakes!”

**_‘I just—’_ **

“Repenting doesn’t work like the bible says!”

“I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!”

Tsuki’s throat hurt from the scream that escaped his mouth. The tears wouldn’t stop as he tilted his head down. He couldn’t help it. He couldn’t stop it. The break down that seeped into his chest was too strong for him to contain. His knees weakened, his entire form was shaking, he couldn’t bear to show his face to these people anymore. He wanted to hide. He wanted nothing more than to hide from everything that wished to hurt him. He buried his face in the cloak within his hands to do just that as he fell away into sobs.

Tsuki was released. He didn’t know why nor care as he fell to his knees.

“I just want to go home. I just want to go home.” Tsuki sobbed. “I don’t want to be here. I don’t _*HIC* hnn_ , want to be surrounded by monsters and deviants. I just want _*hic* mngh_ to go home. I want _*hic* *hic*_ Nii-san…”

“Now look at what you’ve done.” Izaya’s voice rang out like a soothing lullaby. “You scared the poor boy into a stupor.”

Tsuki felt something light with the texture of leather lie over his bare back. Izaya pressed against Tsuki’s side, the fabric of his shirt rubbing against Tsuki’s flesh. The blond turned immediately and grabbed the lord’s shirt tight. He buried his face into Izaya’s chest, clenching his teeth hard.

“I-I-I-I don’t c-c-care who you ar-are, just please.” Tsuki’s hands were savagely shaking. He had to tilt his head down in order to breathe as crying had clogged his nose. “Please, g-g-get me away f-from thi-this place.”

Izaya stroked Tsuki’s hair as something wrapped around him on his right. He was encased by something black, leather, and light.

“I’ll see what I can do, Tsuki-chan.” Izaya soothed. “Just calm. Relax.”

Izaya tilted his head down so his breath was on the back of Tsuki’s neck.

“Sleep for now~.”

Tsuki inhaled through his mouth. His throat was filled with a sweet, sweet scent. He didn’t recognize the smell. He had no idea with it was, but he felt tired almost instantly. His eyes grew heavy, his limbs were losing strength. Exhaustion seeped throughout his entire body without warning.

Before he could even realize it, Tsuki was drifting away into an uneasy sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Tsuki was laying on a cloud. He had never been enveloped by something so soft, so warm, and so fluffy before. If he turned his head even slight, he would struggle to breath by just the sheer mass of poof under his head. The fluff that lied on top of him was puffy enough to have weight to it—feeling a little heavy. But it was irrefutably warm. So warm that Tsuki felt a small amount of perspiration on his flesh.

The blond didn’t want to get up. He was so comfortable, and nothing felt wrong with this. For the first time since he met Hachimenroppi, he was as content as he could be. He would even venture to be so bold as to say he felt safe. However, that was a fool’s dream. He was still very far away from home, staying in a huge house with nothing but monsters. The only human—as far as he was told—who he could potentially seek console from was a deviant.

Tsukishima was completely alone. He was not safe. And he wouldn’t be safe until he was back home in the arms of family.

**_‘Delic-Nii. Tsugaru-Nii.’_ **

Tsuki sat himself up. Immediately, his back spasmed with pain, a strain being put on his injuries as that movement had caused his stitches to pull. He cringed, clenching his teeth.

“Ow…”

Tsuki sat on his knees. He arched his back backwards, so the stitches wouldn’t pull again. His posture forced him to look up at the ceiling.

 ** _‘This place is really beautiful.’_** He thought. **_‘The master is very beautiful as well. But…there’s no way he’s human. Not after the comments he made. And the way of making me so tired. His breath was so sweet I became fatigued. That’s not normal. He can’t be normal.’_**

Tsuki looked around. On the nightstand were clothes. He realized he was naked under the thick blanket. He tried not to think too much as to why. He had pants on when he passed out and he had no injuries on his lower extremities. There was no reason for his pants to be removed. But he told himself over and over not to think too much about it. All that would do is make him upset, which would trigger his asthma, which would make it very hard for him to escape without notice.

The blond grabbed the clothes and put them on at a moderate pace that wouldn’t hurt his stitches. He was dressed in minutes and standing. He looked around for his cloak and scarf, but they weren’t in his immediate sight. There were a few doors in this room besides the mahogany double doors that were obviously the exit. He went over to the first door. It was a closet, but it didn’t have the clothes he was looking for. The second door was a water closet of sorts. He wasn’t for sure since he’d only seen one once. The church was the only building in his whole rath that had a room designated for bodily wastes. The rest of the town had a designated waste area. It was just on the outside of the walls, shrouded by bushes and usually didn’t get much snow during the winter—making burying the waste easier. This room looked similar to the one in the church, with a chamber pot and a window.

Said water closet didn’t have Tsuki’s scarf or cloak. But, seeing the chamber pot reminded his that he needed to urinate. Bad. So, he closed the door behind him and decided to do his business really quick. Once done, he opened the window to see a small chute instead of an open winter wasteland. Confused, he attempted to look down it but saw nothing but darkness. He picked up the pot and dumped it down the chute. Doing that triggered something within the metal, as water poured from an opening that wasn’t there a moment ago down the chute with the urine.

**_‘…Is this some kind of witchcraft?’_ **

Tsuki decided _not_ to question it, put the chamber pot down, washed his hands in the soapy water in a raised bucket, dried his hands on a towel, and left the strange water closet behind.

When he exited, there was someone waiting for him. Said person was sitting on the bed, a tray of food next to him and two articles of clothing sitting on his lap.

“Hello, Tsukishima-kun.” The man said.

“He…hello, Father Shi-Shizuo.”

The priest known as Shizuo smiled a warm smile. “We thought you’d be hungry and that uh, you probably didn’t want to join everyone in the dining hall.”

 ** _‘You’d think right.’_** Tsuki allotted not to say that out loud so he instead just nodded.

“We took the liberty of washing your clothes. I know it was an invasion of privacy, but your pants weren’t really salvageable. There was no way to get the blood stains out and…well, they didn’t smell very good anyway.”

 ** _‘That gave you the right to strip me while I slept?’_** Tsuki couldn’t say that out loud either.

Shizuo’s smile fell at the lack of response. “Are you scared, child?”

Tsuki wasn’t sure if he should respond. What if this was a trick question? He answers honestly, gets hit. He lies, gets hit. Or he abstains, gets hit. He wouldn’t put it past any of these people who were associated with Hachimenroppi to do something so cruel. However, this was a priest. Tsukishima should trust a priest. But the notion that this man wasn’t human still rung loud and clear in Tsuki’s mind. If this was a werewolf, disguised as a holy man, he couldn’t trust him for a moment.

“Child, look at me.”

Tsuki glanced up at him.

“Speak the truth, are you scared?”

Tsuki felt confliction rise as anxiety clenched his chest. If he was to get smacked anyway, there was no saving him. So, the blond cast his eyes to the ground and nodded.

“Are you scared of me?”

Tsuki nodded.

“Are you scared of Hachimenroppi?”

Tsuki nodded.

Shizuo let out a heavy sigh. “Please, come sit.”

Tsuki didn’t want to oblige. He made eye contact with Shizuo, who moved the tray of food and patted the bed. Tsuki knew he didn’t have a right to defy this person. Well, no, he did have a right. But that right would very likely get him hurt. So, the blond may as well not have a choice.

Tsuki walked over and sat down on the bed. However, he tried to put as much distance away from him and Shizuo as he could. Shizuo turned to give Tsuki his undivided attention while Tsuki kept facing the door.

“I’m sorry about Rubi.” The priest started. “He’s always been quick to accuse. He has a difficult background.”

Tsuki didn’t answer.

“So, I understand that you come from the rath over the eastern mountains, right?”

Tsuki nodded.

“The priest who lives with you. His name is Tanaka Tom, right? Dark skin, brown hair, dreadlocks?”

Tsuki nodded, although he didn’t know that ‘Tanaka’ was part of Father Tom’s name.

Shizuo smiled. “Father Tom was the one who converted me to the church when I was a boy. He’s only a few years older than me, but he’s much wiser and smarter than I am. In a time when I was lost, Father Tom showed me the way of God and put me on this path.”

“Father T-Tom woul-wouldn’t fatern-ternize with w-w-werewolves. He-He left ou-our town to g-g-go get the ho-holy or-order so-so that we wou-would be rid of our w-werewolf scourge.”

“Father Tom…doesn’t know I’m a werewolf.”

Tsuki’s eyes widened as his whole body stiffened. **_‘So Orihara-san wasn’t lying.’_**

“I never told him the truth. I was scared of how he would react.”

Tsuki scoffed. “Scared? Wh-what do you-you have to be-be afraid of?”

“Religious persecution.”

Tsuki finally looked at Shizuo. It was a sidelong glance.

“I don’t know about you, but I don’t think any creature on this earth wants to die by being burnt to death.”

Tsuki adverted his eyes again. He couldn’t argue with that.

“Listen, Tsukishima.” Shizuo gripped Tsuki’s hand. The blond jolted but didn’t pull away. Shizuo hooked two of his fingers around three of Tsukishima’s. “I know you many not trust me, knowing what I am. But I ask that you don’t lie to me. If you can’t trust me as a person, then trust in my faith to God. Please.”

Tsuki’s confliction was obvious. He shifted uncomfortably, putting his hands in between his legs to make himself smaller.

“I…I don-don’t u-usually lie an-anyway.” Tsuki muttered.

“I’m glad to hear that.” Shizuo smiled. “So, might I ask then and get an honest answer, what happened between you and Hachimenroppi?”

Tsuki stiffened noticeably. “I…”

Tsuki looked up at Shizuo, tears threatening to leak from his eyes.

“I’m sc-sc-scared to tell you.”

“You don’t need to be scared.” Shizuo scooted just a tad closer. “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.”

Tsuki’s eyes widened at hearing a bible verse. Then he began to cry. Not out of sorrow or fear but from a celibacy of relief. It was just a simple verse of the bible. But it was all that he had needed after the turmoil he had been subjected to from the atheist Hachimenroppi.

“Okay…Okay.” Tsuki said.

The blond wiped his eyes and gave Shizuo his full attention. He then began to recount his plights, from the day that Hachimenroppi demanded ruby eyes or else.

Shizuo said nothing through Tsuki’s sad tale. The teenager didn’t hold back any stops. He didn’t go into explicit details of what Hachimenroppi did to him sexually. However, he did explain that he was sexually abused by Hachimenroppi, even going so far as to explain that he had been a virgin to the whole thing. After all, he had been a faithful follower of God, why would he drabble in such a forbidden love? He explained Hachimenroppi’s constant attempt to convert him to the path of atheist, that his religious was supposedly stupid or a lie in his eyes.

The boy ended his tribulation with the events that unfolded the previous night, with the attack of the lycan. Tsuki did he best to keep his emotions under control but being told he was to be a werewolf’s bride made Tsuki’s heart clench so painfully, he had to pause to regain his breath. Even then, he had to fight through tears to tell the rest. At the end, Tsukishima let the sobs escape him.

Shizuo reached forward and put a tentative hand on Tsuki’s shoulder. The priest wasn’t rejected so he moved closer and embraced Tsukishima in a hug.

“I-I-I…” Tsuki stuttered. “I just w-want to g-go home. I…I don’t wa-want to be—to be part of the-the pack. I-I’m not lying-lying about any-anything. I swear on-on my life that ev-everything I say is-is true. I-I-I’m-I’m not l-lying ju-just because Roppi-san is-is a werewolf or b-because I want to-to hurt him. I just don-don’t want to be here.”

“It will be alright.” Shizuo stroked Tsuki’s soft blond hair. “I will try to make this right for you, child. I need to speak with Roppi but after—”

“N-No! NO!” Tsuki looked up at Shizuo desperately, clutching the holy robes tightly. “P-please, please! Ro-Ro-Roppi-san, he’ll be m-m-mad! Wh-what if he l-lies a-about ev-everything! Wha-what if he s-says I’m ly-lying? Wh-wha-what if he—what if he b-beats me? He-he-he-he-he—”

“Tsukishima, calm down.”

“What if he r-r-r-rapes me again? He-he’s so-so violent! What would ha-happen if he w-w-was angry and wa-wanted se-sex?! He-he-he’d tear me ap-apart! He—”

“Tsukishima!” Shizuo gave the blond a shake.

Tsuki couldn’t breathe anymore. His chest tightened, his lungs screamed in the wakes of an asthma attack. Tsuki knew he was prone to triggering his asthma when he has panic attacks. He tries to keep himself from having these freaks out, but given the situation, there was absolutely no helping it. Tsuki coughed hard as his throat began to close.

“Tsuki, Tsukishima, calm.” Shizuo called. “Breathe. Deep breathes. In and out.”

“N— ***kaff*** —No, I— ***huk*** —I ha…have— ***huk*** —as-asthma.”

“Asthma? How the hell did you make it over the mountain with those thin clothes and asthma?! You’re lucky to be alive!”

Tsuki couldn’t respond as he gasped hard before falling away into coughs.

“Ah, um, wait here!” Shizuo stood, his hands still on Tsuki’s shoulder to force the blond boy down to the mattress. “I’ll get Toudai-san! He’ll know what to do!”

Shizuo turned to the door.

“W…wa…”

Shizuo dashed out of the room.

 ** _‘Don’t leave me alone.’_** Tsuki thought, fear gripping his chest that Roppi would come through that door next.

He remembered what Izaya said, that Roppi would be out of commission for three days. But irrational fear held him tightly. He vision was beginning to blur due to the lack of oxygen, so every shadow that crossed his vision was the ferocious black wolf coming to hurt him.

Tsuki felt bile rise in his throat. He put a hand over his mouth to keep such liquids from spilling onto the floor. The blond forced himself to his feet and stumbled blindly to the water closet. He slammed into the wall of the doorway shoulder first, bouncing off with considerable force. Tsuki’s feet twisted around each other in an unceremonious fashion. He tripped and slammed against the ground. A bit of the bile was forced from his mouth onto his hand. The liquid seeped through his fingers. He crawled over to the chamber pot, reached out and pulled it towards him.

He finally removed his hand and released the foul-tasting liquid. The blond heaved another load from his stomach, the revolting taste of stomach acid coating his tongue. Tsukishima then rolled on his side and coughed harshly. Exhaustion was setting in. He couldn’t breathe at all, his vision was blurring to the point that he could see absolutely nothing. Despite laying still, the world was spinning.

It was okay for him to pass out like this. This was how Tsuki’s asthma attacks tended to end if the mayor was unreachable. So far, the blond had never died from his attacks, he just felt like he was going to die. Panic would always hold him and cause him to think he might die, when he would always be better.

He just had to fall asleep. When he next woke, he’d be okay.

Tsuki heard something. He wasn’t sure what for certain, but he could barely make out something else. Someone else. He felt hands touch his shoulder. Tsuki was rolled over; his head was tilted back. A firm hand gripped Tsuki’s jaw to force his mouth open. Blond hair peeked into his vision. Something stabbed his leg. He cringed in pain. He then felt a long apparatus shoved down his throat. He coughed for a moment but gasped in an attempt to right it.

For a split second, Tsukishima was home. Tsugaru was holding his jaw open and the mayor was resuscitating him. The only thing that was missing was Delic holding him close, hugging him from behind and keeping his head tilted back so the apparatus didn’t end up in his esophagus instead of his trachea. He wanted to be in his other brothers arms instead of on the cold wooden floor.

Tsuki felt his air going down the apparatus in his throat. His lungs were feeling better faster than he had been expecting. He didn’t understand why, but having the apparatus was starting to be the cause of his inability to breath instead of his lungs trying to damage him.

“Hmgh, kmm!” Tsuki reached up to pull the thing out of his throat as he coughed.

His hand was stopped, and the apparatus was slowly removed. Tsuki kept his throat loosened as it came up. It was finally removed from his mouth. Tsuki closed his eyes and lied back with a heavy exhale followed by a few strained coughs. Despite his attack going away far faster than usual, Tsuki still felt relatively exhausted. He wasn’t tired, but dreary. If he stayed on the floor long enough, he would more than likely fall asleep.

A hand was waved in front of his face. Tsuki finally registered the individuals looming over him. It wasn’t Tsugaru or Delic or even the mayor. But a blond priest and a brunette with a red-and-white haori.

Tsuki registered where he was and he instantly regretted it. He regretted remembering he had was actually miles away from home with his only company being a group of monsters and one deviant.

“Tsukishima, can you hear me?” The deviant asked, his voice sounding farther away than it should.

Tsuki nodded slowly.

“Can you breathe?”

Tsuki nodded once.

“Shizuo informed me that you had a panic attack, which triggered your asthma.”

Tsuki didn’t respond.

“Can you sit up?”

Tsuki just stared at him. He put his elbows against the ground in an attempt to push himself up. However, he didn’t have the strength. After one attempt, he decided he was content with laying on the floor. The wood was cold and it helped cool his burning head.

Shizuo reached down and grabbed Tsuki’s bicep. He gently pulled the boy up. Tsuki was nestled against the broad chest of the priest and lifted off the ground. The teenager wrapped his arms around Shizuo’s neck out of a knee jerk reaction not to fall.

“Lay him down on the bed.” Toudai instructed. “I gave him a shot of adrenaline. He shouldn’t be able to have another asthma attack for a few hours at least.”

“Wh…” Tsuki rested his head on Shizuo’s shoulder to look at him. “What’d you…do?”

“Again, I gave you a shot of adrenaline.”

Tsuki looked at him confused.

“I met a foreigner once, and he taught me the fundamentals of being a doctor. More importantly, how to create liquids that can be injected directing in the bloodstream for an almost immediate response. I’ve saved lots of lives with my drugs.”

“I don’t…un…understand…”

Toudai chuckled. “I’ll explain another time. How do you feel?”

“Tired…”

The blankets were pulled back. Tsuki was placed on the bed. The blond was then tucked in. Toudai sat down by Tsuki’s side and grabbed a small tea pot.

“Are you thirsty?” Toudai asked.

Tsuki nodded.

The doctor brought the spicket of the tea pot to Tsukishima’s lips. Toudai tilted it up slightly. Cool water bathed Tsuki’s tongue. He swallowed greedily. While the doctor did that, Shizuo went about cleaning the remnants of vomit off of Tsukishima’s hand.

After a generous few seconds, Toudai tilted the tea pot back down and pulled it away from Tsuki’s lips. Shizuo finished with his clean up and put the soiled cloth into a bowl on the nightstand.

Tsuki licked his lips. He then closed his eyes and turned his head to bury his face into the pillow.

“Tsukishima,” Shizuo started. “I need you to remain calm before I tell you anything more from earlier.”

“Puh-please. Don-don’t tell Roppi-pi-san.” Tsuki said. “I-I’m sc-scared o-of wh-what he’ll-he’ll do wh-when he’s an-angry.”

“Tsuki-kun,” Toudai interjected. “I don’t think you should fear Roppi-kun. He has a bad attitude from what I heard, but he’s not a violent man. From what Rubi’s told me, he’s very kind and caring once you get to know him.”

“I don-don’t want to get-get to know him.” Tsuki felt the tears weld. He clenched his teeth and closed his eyes tight shut. “I-I-If this-this is the wuh-way Roppi-san sh-shows his loves, then I-I don’t want-want it.”

“But Tsuki—”

“Toudai-san, be silent for now.” Shizuo rubbed Tsukishima’s shin soothingly. “Thank you for helping Tsukishima. Why don’t you go finish your breakfast?”

“No disrespect meant but it would be unwise for me to leave him after such a violent asthma attack. I want to stay so I may monitor him.”

“I will stay with him. You go on.”

“But—”

“Toudai-san, I wasn’t asking.” Shizuo cast him a glare. “Respect my authority and go on.”

Toudai stared at Shizuo for a moment. There was a drawn out silence between the two as the atmosphere became tense. Tsuki stiffened in worry.

However, nothing happened. Instead, Toudai merely stated, “Understood.” And stood up.

The deviant bowed slightly, then gathered his doctor’s bag.

“If he has another episode, come get me immediately.”

“Understood.” Shizuo said.

Toudai left with no other statement.

Tsukishima sat up and reached out. He gripped Shizuo’s sleeve between his index and pointer finger. Shizuo stared down at him.

“F-Father, c-can you puh-please take me t-to your church? E-even if Ro-Roppi-san can follow—follow me there, he-he may not be able to d-do much because of-of the holy order.”

“…That’s why I can’t take you there.”

“Eh?”

“Tsukishima,” Shizuo turned and grabbed Tsuki’s hand with both of his. “Understand, this has nothing to do with what I am. Most people believe that werewolves can’t enter holy ground. This order is no different. I’m not scared about being discovered or anything of the sort. I’m saying this for your safety.”

“Muh-my…”

“The holy order is a very narrow-minded organization. They believe that anyone that doesn’t look normal is a child of the devil in one way or another. A man born with a hunchback is called a troll. A woman with a lazy eye is called a witch, blinded by the horror she saw in that eye, so it causes her gaze to drift. If I took you to the church and the holy order is there, they will more than likely burn you at the stake, dubbing you either a vampire or a hellspawn.”

That statement caused Tsukishima to sit up in shock. “Buh-but-but—”

“Your red eyes are an indication of evil. Many people believe that vampires have red eyes because they drink so much blood their eyes change to that color. Your pale flesh means you don’t go out in the sun often—because if you go out you’ll burn to the sunlight. Even your color of hair, being near white, is a sign of death, that the life has left your body and turned your hair pale. This order would see you as some abomination instead of a rare white rabbit. If I were to take you to my church, I would be condemning you to death. I can’t take the risk when the life of an innocent is in question. And I truly mean that.”

Tsuki stared at him wide-eyed. Tsuki had known his physical appearance had been strange but to be condemned? Was this holy order truly that shallow? Did they not care to save lives, just to end the lives of monsters no matter the cost? How could such cruel men be men of God? That just seemed wrong. Far too wrong to be condoned by God.

 “Bu…But,” Tsukishima started, “F-Father Tom s-said there was noth-nothing wrong with me…”

“There isn’t!” Shizuo put his hands on Tsuki’s cheeks to keep eye contact with him. “Father Tom is right! There is nothing wrong with you. Just like there’s nothing wrong with seeing a white rabbit or a white wolf. There’s nothing wrong with these colors in animals but people don’t understand that sometimes humans can get these colors too! And that’s the problem! Everything…everyone believes that animals are a different level than man. They don’t want to believe that humans can have any similarities to animals so instead of accepting it for what it is, they demonize it. And that is exactly what this holy order is doing. For every three monsters this order kills, nine innocent humans are put to death on false charges. And there’s no doubt in my mind that you’ll end up like that.”

“B…but…if Ro-Roppi-san wa-wakes up an-and I’m sti-still here, he-he might—”

“Roppi will be unconscious for at least another day. I need to discuss this with the flea and Rubi but if we can’t figure something out, I’ll take you home myself.”

“H-home? You-you mean—”

“You and I will travel back to your rath over the mountain.” Shizuo took his hands away from the teenager’s face. He rested his hand over Tsuki’s—which were sitting in Tsuki’s lap.

“…But…but by, by your logic…” Tsukishima started. “Fa-Father Tom left the rath t-to get the hol-holy order. If-if they’re there—”

Tsukishima wasn’t sure what to think. He didn’t want to fear for his life from holy men who were supposed to protect him. To fear them felt just as wrong as what Shizuo had told him about their tactics. But he didn’t want to die. Not by a holy order claiming he’s a monster. Tsuki couldn’t die in such a shameful way.

“Well, then you can stay here with the flea.” Shizuo suggested. “I…I’m the alpha of the pack, as you know. I’m the leader. But I can’t take my pack to Taiwan. I’m staying here with Izaya and…I was going to make Roppi the alpha but after what you’ve told me, I think Rubi is probably a better choice. But, anyway, I’ll be staying here. I’ll stay with you until the holy order has left your rath and I’ll take you home after that. Roppi is going to have to leave for Taiwan with or without you. His red eyes make him just as big of a target as yours do. He can’t stay. So, you’ll have to maybe stay here for a week or even a month, but you’ll be home. I promise.”

“Prom…You promise? For-For a month…”

“Maybe. It’ll all depend on how long the holy order stays. Father Tom will keep me posted if I ask, I’m sure.”

“You’ll t-take me home? R-Really?”

“I promise, Tsukishima. You will see your brother again.”

Tsuki began to cry. This was the first good news he had heard in such a long time. Since the start of this miserable journey, he was finally hearing something he wanted to hear. It was enough to send him to tears.

“Th-thank you.” Tsukishima brought the priests’ holy hand to his lips and placed a kiss upon the perfect flesh. “Thank you. Thank you.”


	5. Chapter 5

Tsukishima was in high spirits. The first in a while and he was savoring the sensation. He was happy. He had no reason not to be happy. Sure, Shizuo was a werewolf. But he was also a priest. Which meant his word was his bond. He promised, even. Tsukishima’s situation was looking up. He just had to wait for Shizuo to set everything straight with the rest of his pack. Once that was done, he’d know what to do with Hachimenroppi, then Tsuki would be able to go home.

Home. To his brothers. His parents. His betrothed. He’d be able to see them all again. Maybe in a week or maybe in a month but regardless of how long, he’d see them again.

Tsukishima sat outside the door to an extravagant study. The beautifully carved doors were left ajar so that he could listen in without being part of the conversation. Shizuo didn’t want him in the room in case Rubi started yelling at Tsuki instead of listening to Shizuo. But he also didn’t want Tsuki to be left in the dark about the conversation. This was the decision the priest came to—to have Tsuki outside the room listening in. Everyone else—save for the unconscious Hachimenroppi—was in that room, fully aware that Tsukishima was outside while they discussed the kidnapped blonde’s predicament.

“Shizuo, you can’t seriously believe what that kids saying?” Rubi balked.

“I have to agree with Rubi, Shizuo-san.” Shitsuo stated. “The person that this Tsukishima has described does not seem like the Hachimenroppi we know.”

“We all know Roppi-kun has a sour personality.” The brunette that Tsuki still didn’t know the name of said. “He’s rough around the edges and can be rude but he’s not…cruel. He’s not this beast of a man that Tsukishima-kun has created.”

“Regardless of what we know,” Shizuo said, “there is no changing that that boy isn’t here by his own free will. He’s terrified beyond his wits and in no condition to have made such a journey. Or to continue on. I doubt he’d make it to the port city, and even if he did, the boat ride over would be impossible for him.”

“I concur.” Izaya sneered. “That boys clothes were so thin, I’m surprised he didn’t freeze to death half-way here.”

“The clothes he was wearing were mine.” Rubi hissed.

“Yes, and your button-ups aren’t very thick, now are they?”

Rubi growled.

“I would like to say,” Toudai said sheepishly. “That boy, Tsukishima, has severe asthma. Well, no, not severe. The likelihood that he would die from an asthma attack are very low. However, that doesn’t change the fact that he has asthma. And from the fact that he was able to trigger his asthma from an anxiety attack means it’s not hard to trigger it. I’m…also surprised that boy made it over the mountain in those flimsy clothes. There’s no doubt in my mind that he must had an asthma attack daily at the least. I would go so far to say he most-likely had multiple.”

“We could just ask him instead of speculating.” Rubi grumbled.

“So that you can call him a liar again, Rubi-san?” Izaya chuckled. “What’s the point of asking the boy questions when you don’t believe anything he says?”

“So, he gets to eavesdrop on the conversation but not take part in it?”

“That’s exactly right.” Shizuo growled. “If you hear something you don’t want to hear, you’re just going to yell at him again. He’s scared out his wits and miserable. Interrogating him is only going to make him break down.”

“He’s a fucking adult. He should learn to handle a little conflict.”

“That boy is not an adult.” Izaya said. “I took a taste of his blood earlier. His blood hasn’t reached maturity just yet. My guess is that he’s either 16 or 17.”

“That’s an adult.”

“Maybe by your standards. But to the blood, maturity isn’t reached till at least 21. In my opinion, he’s still a child who doesn’t understand what’s going on. And besides that, he’s obviously lived a very sheltered, conservative lifestyle. Even if he was an adult, I highly doubt he was ready for handle anything like this. The likelihood that Roppi somehow convinced a bonified Christian to leave his home, his livelihood, and family behind to become bedmates with a monster that route fear in the hearts of everyone in that rath? Heh, I think we’d have better luck turning a werewolf into a vampire before that becomes a true statement.”

“Roppi. Would _not_. Kidnap someone. It’s not within his nature.”

“That doesn’t matter.” Shizuo growled. “Whether Roppi did it or not is _not_ what we’re talking about. We’re talking about getting this kid back home.”

“We need to talk to Roppi before we make any decisions. That kids his lover, after all.”

“No.”

“What do you mean no—”

“Telling Roppi was what triggered that panic attack. We’re not telling Roppi.”

“If something were to happen to Toudaimoto, then I would want to know! And I’m sure that you’d want to know if something happened to Izaya! You can’t—”

“I can and will. That boy is not Roppi’s lover. Saying that he is is beyond inappropriate. Tonight, I’m going back to the church. If the holy order has left, I’ll take Tsukishima there tomorrow until you lot leave for Taiwan—”

“Us lot?” Rubi interrupted. “What do you mean us lot? We’re not leaving you behind.”

“Eh? Shizu-chan, you haven’t told them yet?” Izaya asked in quite an innocent voice.

“Told us what?” the nameless brunette asked.

Shizuo let out a heavy sigh. “I…Rubi, from this day forward, you’re the alpha of our pack. I’m not coming with you to Taiwan.”

“What?!”

“What the fuck does that mean?!”

“You can’t stay here!”

“Just cuz you were ordained by the church doesn’t mean your immune to religious persecution! They’ll burn you at the stake if they find out!”

“You’re in just as much danger as we are!”

“SILENCE!”

Everyone fell quiet.

“I understand. I really do.” The priest said. “But I can’t leave.”

“And why not?!”

“Now, now,” Izaya said, “Shizu-chan’s going to stay with me. He’ll be safe, I can assure you of that.”

“You—you should be coming with us too!” Rubi yelled. “Vampires are their number one target!”

Tsuki’s eyes stretched wide. **_‘Vampire…’_**

“Rubi, you miss a few things about this holy order.” Izaya said. Tsuki could hear the smile on his voice. “The most important one is that this isn’t the first extermination I’ve lived through. I’ve been around for centuries. I’ve seen emperors come and go like the rise and fall of the sun. These holy orders never last. They stick around for a few years, at most maybe ten years, kill a few monsters that were too stupid to protect themselves, and a few hundred innocent humans while they’re at it. Eventually, the people will rise against the church for their transgression. Either the church will concede, or the churches will be burnt. Either way, this holy war will end.”

“That doesn’t mean you—”

“Of course, the other important detail is money. You can’t go around recruiting individuals, creating new armor and swords and other devices for torture without the ore and the money to do so. The funds of the people only go so far. As viscounts, the church will be looking to me and Hibiya for charity to help fund their war. Now, why would the church ever suspect two viscounts who are aiding the extermination of monsters all across Japan? The answer: they won’t. Hibiya and I are as good as gold as far as safety is brought to question. And so long as Shizu-chan’s with me and Blue is with Hibiya, neither of them will be targeted.”

Tsukishima’s stretched wider.

“You bastard!” Rubi yelled. “You—you’re _helping_ these bastards kill _children_!”

“What they do with the money I provide is up to them. Once it goes from my hand to theirs, it’s no longer my responsibility to bare.”

“How can you sleep at night?!”

“On satin pillows with a cup of children’s blood in my hand.”

“YOU—”

“Rubi, stop!” Shizuo’s voice resounded out.

**_‘He’s defending him.’_ **

“What the fuck do you mean stop?!” Rubi yelled. “How the fuck do you love a despicable bastard like this, Shizuo?!”

“That’s…look, that’s not important. What is important is that Izaya’s not leaving. And because he’s not leaving, I…I’m going to stay with him.”

“Shizuo, you have a responsibility to the pack—”

“I’m well aware. I’m doing what I need to do for the pack but also for myself. That’s why, Rubi, I’m choosing you as the alpha. You’ll be able to protect the pack and you’ve already proven you do have a base of logic behind that short-temper of yours.”

“But…I’m not alpha material. Roppi is far more qualified. He’s been looking after the pack since he was 12. He’s more rational and logical than I am. And the survival of the pack comes first to him.”

“That’s what I thought as well. Until I heard Tsukishima’s story.”

“You can’t base anything that kid says as truth! He’s lying, Shizuo! He’s a fucking liar!”

“And if he’s not?”

“He’s—”

“Rubi.” Toudai’s voice chimed in. “Just think for a moment, please? Look past the Hachimenroppi and think of the Hachimenroppi this boy knows. He was raised under a scourge that was a black werewolf that came and was offered a sacrifice every month, else there will be deadly consequences. This boy was raised to fear Hachimenroppi. Even if he is lying about some things, there’s no…I don’t think he is, honey. I think he’s telling the truth. It just doesn’t add up that Tsukishima is being false.”

“You know what, just because he’s not lying doesn’t mean he’s telling the truth, either! For all we know, Roppi and Tsukishima could have agreed to leave but Tsukishima changed his mind when he found out he was a werewolf!”

“That wouldn’t change anything, Rubi. If Tsukishima changed his mind, then that doesn’t change that there is no longer consent or trust in the relationship. If Tsukishima had loved Roppi once, he doesn’t anymore. You can’t fault him for being scared.”

“If he loved Roppi as a human then he can love Roppi as a werewolf!”

“Not everyone is like that. Especially a child that was raised so conservatively. Without even a shred of open-mindedness, there’s no changing that boys mind.”

“You love me, despite me being a werewolf!”

“But I’ve always been ostracized, my love. I’ve never been loved by my townsfolk. It was easy for me to abandon the conventions of the church in pursuit of my own happiness. This boy isn’t like me.”

Rubi faltered. He had nothing to rebuttal. His only response was to let out a heavy sigh.

“Roppi isn’t fit to lead,” Shizuo said, “Whatever the reason is, he took a boy across the mountain without a care for his wellbeing and had given the rise of fear within the heart of an innocent. To make Roppi alpha after seeing this kind of display of character, would be irresponsible on my part. That’s why, Rubi, you’ll be the alpha after I step down.”

“…I want to talk to Tsukishima again.”

Tsuki’s blood turned cold as his heartbeat immediately echoed in his ears.

“No. You’re just going to frighten the poor boy again.”

“I don’t want to frighten. I just want to talk.”

“You know you won’t be able to keep your te…”

Tsukishima couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation as he was now too far away to hear. He really did not want to talk to Rubi. No, he didn’t want to get _yelled at_ by Rubi again. That man was absolutely terrifying and Tsuki knew they wouldn’t be able to have a proper conversation before the blond started to break down in tears.

Tsuki decided it’d be best for him to wait in his room. Shizuo can fill him in on the rest of the conversation if it was important. The blond would know sooner or later what his next future endeavor will be, when the time was right. For now, he could be patient if it meant not talking to Rubi.

Tsukishima ascended the stairs and went up the right wing, back towards his bedroom. His feet squished into the soft carpet, a sensation that was completely new to him. He had never felt something so soft under his feet that wasn’t moss on the ground. All the floors back home had been wood. The kind of wood where it was ill-advised to tread over with bear feet. Tsukishima usually kept his pair of shoes by the bed for that reason. Tsuki was known for dragging his feet and one particular time, he dragged his feet and got a sliver of wood the length of his foot stuck on the underside of his appendage. It took Delic an hour trying to dig it out, tearing the flesh away instead of pulling it out because it would cause more problems than fix. Tsukishima had cried into Tsugaru’s shoulder the entire time. Trying to be brave but ultimately failing.

Tsukishima was lost in the past when he finally looked up. His eyes widened.

**_‘Where am I?’_ **

Tsukishima was down a long corridor with doors on either side of him.

**_‘Which room was mine again?’_ **

He looked left and right. All the doors looked the same to him. He couldn’t make out any discerning features from one carving to the next. He knew his door had been the second one on the right when coming from the stairs, but he was more than certain he had passed it by a long way, as the stairs were nowhere in sight when he looked over his shoulder.

Tsukishima let out a heavy sigh.

**_‘Retrace my steps, I guess.’_ **

The blond turned around and headed back the way he came.

**_‘This house is so big. It’s so easy to get lost.’_ **

Tsuki looked around himself.

 ** _‘Honestly, this much space, it seems like such a waste. Why would anyone need all this room? All_** these **_rooms? There’s only seven guests. And there’s more than seven rooms in this wing alone.’_**

Tsuki let out a sigh.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed Tsuki’s injured shoulder hard. The blond called out in pain as nails dug into his wound. He was immediately turned around and slammed shoulder blade first into the wall. Tsuki’s cuts spasmed painfully. Tsuki screamed.

**_‘Rubi said he only wanted to talk! Rub—’_ **

Tsuki stopped mid-thought when he saw who had a vice grip on his shoulder. Not a blond but a brunette. Not pink eyes, but blood red. Shirtless, black pants, covered in bandages that were once white but were now stained with blood.

Not Rubi. But Hachimenroppi.

Tsuki’s blood turned to ice. His heart dropped to his stomach and his stomach dropped to his feet.

“Why the fuck did you leave the campfire, Tsuki?” Roppi growled.

Tsuki’s voice was stuck in his throat. He couldn’t speak as his mouth gaped like a fish out of water.

“Answer me!” Roppi slammed Tsuki’s shoulder into the wall. “Why did you leave the campfire?!”

“Uh…uh…uh…”

“Speak!” Roppi’s hand left Tsuki’s shoulder to come around his throat.

Tsuki’s eyes stretched wide as tears threatened to leak. The blond reached his hands up to grab that hand, but he was scared Roppi would squeeze if he did. Roppi wasn’t applying pressure yet. He was just holding him in place by his throat. If Tsuki tried to pull the werewolf’s hand away when they both knew he wasn’t strong enough to actually do anything, Roppi might punish Tsuki by squeezing. So, the teens hands hovered over Roppi’s wrist.

“I…I…I…wh…uh-I…”

Roppi’s lips pulled back in an inhuman snarl as a matching inhuman growl echoed in his vocal cords.

The werewolf then let go of his throat. Tsuki hadn’t realized how weak his legs had become until he was struggling to lean against the wall for some celibacy of support. His breathing was coming out hard, borderline gasping. His heartbeat was all Tsuki could hear, the organ pulsing hard against his chest.

Roppi wasn’t going to leave Tsuki alone. He had no intention of dropping the subject at all as his hand snaked into the hair on the back of Tsuki’s head. A fistful of Tsuki’s blond locks were grabbed and his head was yanked harshly.

“O-o-ow! Hu-h-h-h-hurts!”

“Shut up.”

Roppi pulled Tsuki by his hair to the closest door. The raven turned the knob and pushed it open. With a harsh shove, Roppi threw Tsuki into the bedroom. The blond tripped, stumbled and fell on his side a few feet away from the door. Roppi slammed the door hard behind him, hard enough that he most-likely broke the latch as it remained cracked open.

Tsuki looked over his shoulder at Roppi. Fear held the blond tight as his whole body began to tremble.

Roppi made his way towards him.

Tsuki rolled over so he was facing the enraged wolf and began back-peddling away.

“Puh…puh-puh-puh-please, hee!” Roppi stood right before Tsuki. The blond immediately flinched, closing his eyes tight shut and crossing his arms in front of his face.

“You don’t get to ask for anything right now.” Roppi grabbed Tsuki’s wrist. “You’re lucky I don’t beat the shit out of you. You almost got me killed!”

“I-I-I’m…sorry!”

“Sorry isn’t going to turn back the clock!”

Roppi pulled Tsuki to his feet. The blond had to hold onto the werewolf for support; his knees were too weak to support him. Roppi pushed Tsuki back. The blonds back collided with the soft comfort of the bed. But to Tsuki, it was anything but comforting as the monster got on top of him.

“N-n-n-no, puh-puh-plea—”

“Do you even fucking know what I’ve gone through over the last who knows how many fucking days?!” Roppi growled. “Thanks to you and your little stroll through the woods, a fucking lycan bit me! Do you even know what a lycan is?! Do you know the kind of disease a monster like that has in its saliva?!”

Roppi grabbed the shoulder of Tsuki’s shirt and slammed them down, pinning the fabric—and Tsuki—to the mattress. The blonde’s injury spasmed with pain but he couldn’t register it when solid fear was pulsing throughout his body.

“It fucking bit me! And because it bit me, I had to get liquified silver pumped in my veins! Do you know how painful boiling silver is, Tsuki?! Do you?! And I had to have that in every inch of my body! You can’t imagine the agony I’ve been in!”

“I-I-I-I-I’m s-s-s-s—”

“I don’t give a fuck for an apology!”

Tsukishima was punched. Hard. Hard enough that a yelp akin to an animal’s cry escaped his lips. His world immediately began to spin and for a moment he was certain he was going to faint.

But despite his disorientation, Tsukishima was certain he saw something. A flicker of movement outside the door. A flash of blond hair.

**_‘Father…’_ **

“He-he-he-help! Help me—gmph!”

“Shut the fuck up!” Roppi’s hand came over Tsuki’s mouth. “No one’s going to help you! You brought this on yourself!”

Tsuki looked over to the door.

**_‘I know I saw someone! I wasn’t seeing things! Please, tell me I wasn’t seeing things!’_ **

Roppi’s hand pulled on Tsuki’s belt. The blonde’s eyes stretched wide before he screamed underneath his hand.

**_‘Someone, anyone, please, help me!’_ **

Tsuki grabbed Roppi’s wrist and began to struggle. He arched his back and pushed his feet against the mattress. He then tilted his head back until Roppi’s hand slipped off his lips.

“Puh-puh-puh-please, d-d-d-d-don’t!”

“Do you not understand? This is a punishment!”

Roppi pulled on Tsuki’s shirt. The fabric tore like a leaf.

“You nearly got me killed! The least you can do is give me your ass!”

“St-st-stop! Stop it!”

“What, are you going to tell me that this shirt was made from your grandpa’s fucking ashes?! Give me a break!”

Roppi’s hands were uncaring and harsh as he pulled and yanked on Tsuki’s clothes. Tsuki’s shirt could no longer button, it couldn’t even hide most of his stomach. His belt had been ripped right out of the loops, tearing them and ripping a hole in the fabric. From the top of his pants to his mid-thigh on his right leg was a giant rip.

“Puh-please, please!” Tsuki looked up at the bandaged werewolf with desperation, tears freely flowing down the side of his face to tickle his ears. “I’m sor—I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Puh-puh-please, forgi-give me!”

“Why should I?”

Tsuki’s eyes stretched wide.

Roppi leaned down and bit Tsuki’s collar bone.

“Muh-muh-muh-mercy! Mercy! Pu-please! I be-beg for mercy!”

“Again, why should I?”

“Be-b-b-b-because it’s a ba-basic human right!”

“But I’m not human, as far as you’re concerned. I’m just a devil, right?”

A chill went down Tsuki’s spine at his own words being used against him.

Roppi’s hands roamed, pushing down the pants so the fabric now sat around Tsuki’s thighs. Tsuki couldn’t stop himself from trembling underneath that touch. Those dainty finger tips were causing Tsuki such a profound reaction of fear-induced nausea and vertigo. His whole form was frozen. He couldn’t put up a fight. He was too scared to put up a fight. He was already having trouble seeing out of his eye that Roppi had thoroughly socked earlier. He didn’t know if it was because his eye was swelling shut or if Roppi had punched him so hard, he permanently damaged Tsuki’s eye. That thought terrified him, the unknown terrified him.

But what terrified him more was the man on top of him. Words weren’t working. Words never worked with this man so far. Tsuki was starting to realize that words may never work. He couldn’t rely on reasoning with Hachimenroppi. His only option was to fight him off. But that was a completely fruitless endeavor. With this inhuman strength, there was no way Tsuki stood a chance and he knew that full well. Hopelessness once again seeped into Tsuki’s core, into his very being as he realized there was nothing he could do. A perpetual cycle of wanting to help himself but being unable to so he falls away into helplessness and can do nothing but cry.

“Let me go…” Tsuki sobbed. “Please…”

“No.”

“PLEASE!” Tsuki yelled. “Please, I beg-beg you!”

“No.” Roppi pulled Tsuki’s scarf. The red fabric choked him for a moment before it loosened and came undone to expose his neck.

Tsuki sobbed. A spark of desperation gripped Tsuki’s being. Desperate to get away, desperate to get this man off him. It was irrational, illogical, and went against his basic survival instinct. But he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t stop it.

Tsuki pushed on Roppi’s shoulder’s hard, his hand sliding to start digging into the injury on Roppi’s neck. He kicked his legs wildly, shoving his knees into Roppi’s bandaged stomach. The raven cringed before gasping in pain.

Roppi then responded by grabbing Tsuki’s knees and twisting them outwards. The jeans around his thighs kept them from spreading too far and were now digging into the flesh of his outer thighs. Roppi growled in anger before grabbing the pants by the crotch area and pulling them down Tsuki’s limbs in one swift motion.

Tsuki attempted to scramble back away from Roppi. The raven didn’t let him get far as he grabbed his ankle. Tsuki then attempted to kick Roppi in the face with his free foot. Roppi caught that ankle and squeezed. Squeezed and squeezed and squeezed then twisted. A sickening pop resounded through the bone and Tsuki called out in pain as intense heat encased his lower leg.

Roppi then grabbed both ends of Tsuki’s scarf that were closes to the blonde’s neck and yanked him up. As he yanked, he swung his fist forward, pulling Tsuki into his punch. Tsuki called out. He was punched again. He felt his nose crunch rather than heard it. A gush of blood encased Roppi’s knuckles. Tsuki retched before coughing. Roppi punched him own more time. Tsuki could only sob in response.

**_‘Why?’_ **

Tsuki stopped struggling. Roppi gave him a shake before he dropped the blond back onto the mattress. Tsuki wouldn’t fight anymore. The desperation passed. Logic returned to him, telling him he shouldn’t do anything that would warrant an attack.

**_‘Why are you doing this to me?’_ **

Roppi pushed Tsuki’s thighs to the side out of the way. Tsuki found purchase in the blanket, gripping the fabric hard enough to make his knuckles go white almost instantly.

**_‘How can you claim to love me when you hurt me like this?’_ **

The werewolf nestled himself between Tsuki’s legs. He unzipped his pants and grabbed his own cock, which was standing tall and proud. Tsuki began to shake again at the sight, knowing what was coming next.

**_‘This isn’t love. I don’t know what this is, but this isn’t it.’_ **

Roppi pumped his manhood, groaning with the action. Tsuki clenched his teeth as tears streamed without restraint.

**_‘Why do I have to suffer like this? What did I do to deserve this?’_ **

Roppi made eye contact with Tsuki. His expression was a flushed gaze of pure lust.

**_‘Why couldn’t you have killed me back then? I was sacrificing myself as a meal, not as…whatever this is supposed to be.’_ **

Roppi smiled at him.

**_‘Please just…’_ **

“Just kill me, please.” The words left Tsuki’s lips before he could register that might not be a good thing to say to the werewolf.

Roppi’s eyes stretched wide.

But they soon widened for a different reason as the doors burst open and a blond man clad in priest robes came stomping in.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!” Shizuo yelled with a booming voice that could rival a thunderclap.

“That should be my line.” Roppi growled. “We’re doing something here so—”

“F-F-F-Father—klm!”

“You shut up.” Roppi said as he put a firm hand over Tsuki’s mouth.

Tsuki grabbed Roppi’s arm out of habit. He had no intention of moving the arm away.

That was until he realized he couldn’t breathe.

“What have you done?!” Shizuo yelled. “Have you lost your mind?!”

“Don’t think so. I feel pretty sane.”

Tsuki’s nose was plugged with blood. And even if it wasn’t, that crunching sensation from earlier was most-likely Roppi breaking his nose. Until it was realigned, Tsuki wouldn’t be able to breathe through his nostrils. Tsuki’s throat was starting to flood with blood, and with Roppi covering his mouth, he couldn’t force the liquids out.

“What about this is sane?! Do you realize what you’re even doing?!”

“I have a right to punish him, Shizuo. He nearly got me killed and since he’s my lover, it falls on me to discipline him.”

Tsuki was drowning in his own blood. He was going to die like this! Fight or flight kicked in. Despite Tsuki’s plea for death earlier, his rational mind was telling him not to give in. To keep fighting. To _breathe_.

“MNGH! KMNG MNGH!” Tsuki punched Roppi’s arm with one hand while the other tried to hook underneath his fingers to pull them off.

Tsuki was, however, ignored, as Roppi and Shizuo continued talking.

“That is not what it means to be lovers!” Shizuo yelled. “What’s wrong with you?”

“How many questions are you going to ask me?”

Tsuki’s lungs were starting to hurt. But it wasn’t the same feeling as an asthma attack. This was a whole new sensation. Far more raw and powerful and utterly terrifying.

“Fucking three days’ worth of being cooked alive and you’re trying to tell me I’m not allowed to enact punishment on the motherfucker that caused this? Get the fuck out, Shizuo!”

“It’s only been two days! You shouldn’t even be walking around!”

“I heal faster than normal, you know that. My immune system already ate through the silver.”

Black spots were encasing Tsuki’s vision. Black was also starting to encircle his sight. He stopped punching Roppi as he lost strength in his limbs. The only reason his hands stayed where they were was because his fingers were hooked into Roppi’s bandages.

“Just because it ate through it doesn’t mean you’re in the clear!”

“That’s exactly what it means, dumbass.” Roppi growled. “If the virus was still in my system, my immune system wouldn’t be strong enough to eat through the silver, recall?”

Tsuki couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore. He didn’t want to close his eyes. He was terrified that he’d never open them again if he did. But he just had no strength.

“That not how that—”

“Wait, wait! Roppi-kun!” Toudaimoto screamed. “Let Tsuki-kun go! He’s not breathing!”

“What?” Roppi cocked a brow before looking down at Tsuki.

The black wolf gasped before pulling his hand away.

Tsuki tilted his head back to make his airway straight as he coughed harshly. A sizable spatter of blood flew from his mouth, spotting on his face and hair. The blond gasped before being forced to cough again because he only breathed in blood, no air. Tsuki rolled over so his head was hanging off the bed. The blood drizzled forth from his mouth, creating a pool with a mass that caused worry to rise within the doctor.

“Oh my god!” Toudai rushed forward.

“Get off him!” Shizuo yelled as he also rushed forward.

Shizuo grabbed Roppi by the arm and pulled the werewolf off. The raven protested to the harsh treatment as he attempted to put his faltering erection back in his pants. Toudai wrapped his arms around Tsuki.

“Roll over all the way, Tsuki-kun.” Toudai coaxed the blond to fall off the bed, making him land on his hands and knees. More blood drizzled from Tsuki’s top lip. Toudai was kind enough to pull Tsuki’s cloak so his posterior was no longer exposed. “There you go. There you go. Cough. Cough, Tsuki-kun.”

Toudai gave Tsuki a harsh pat on the back. The sensation caused pain in his wounds and he was forced to cough harshly. More crimson liquid came forth, rising up Tsuki’s throat from the flush of air. Tsuki gasped loudly right after and finally he could breathe again.

“There you go. There you go~.” Toudai soothed as he rubbed Tsuki’s back in comfort. “Good. Good job, Tsuki.”

His praise was short lived as Tsuki’s throat began to close. The blonde’s eyes widened as an asthma attack gripped him fast and hard, with no warning and no mercy. Heavy coughs racked Tsuki’s system, his whole body jolting with the movement.

“Tsuki-kun!” Toudai pulled Tsuki close before looking over his shoulder. “Rubi, my bag! Go get it!”

Tsuki glanced over at the white-haired werewolf. He had an expression of stunned shock, staring at Roppi.

**_‘Was he…the one who was outside the door?’_ **

“Rubi!” Toudai yelled.

The blond jolted and looked at the doctor.

“I shall get it!” the nameless brunette proclaimed, before turning and leaving.

“Look at him, Roppi.” Shizuo growled. “You did this!”

“I didn’t know he couldn’t breathe.”

“That is not what I mean!” Shizuo shook the black werewolf. “I mean the state he’s in! You can’t tell me you didn’t know he was bleeding! Last I saw him, his face didn’t look like _that_!”

“Well, yeah, I gave him a punch or two.”

Tsuki coughed hard, blood spraying out. His whole form was racked with coughs that gave away to retches. Tsuki vomited, the splatter of blood and bile getting on his sleeves and a bit on the back of his hands.

“Tsuki-kun!” Toudaimoto rubbed Tsuki’s back, trying not to touch the blonde’s injury, as that was all he could do to help the blond.

Tsuki felt some of the burning stomach acid go up his nose, which only hurt his throbbing orifice more. Once the blonde’s stomach was empty, Tsuki rolled over to sit down, leaning back against the bed. Toudai had his hands out in preparation to catch Tsuki if the blond were to faint. Tsuki merely wheezed heavily, conscious enough to fold his cloak over his exposed nether region, as he glanced up at Roppi and Shizuo.

“Why?” Shizuo growled. “Why’d you punch him?”

“Cuz he dug his hand into my neck!” Roppi yelled. “Look how much I’m bleeding now!”

“And why would he do that?!”

“I don’t know; you’d have to ask him.”

“What were you doing to warrant an attack, Roppi?!”

Roppi glared at him.

“What were you doing?!”

Roppi scoffed. “My dick was out and his pants are off. I think you can put two and two together.”

Roppi was punched. The raven’s eyes widened as he stumbled back.

“Bastard!” Roppi yelled. “Get off of me!”

Roppi yanked his arm away, glaring at Shizuo with enough hate to kill.

**_‘Shizuo…a priest…is getting violent…N-no. Father, don’t…That goes against…God.’_ **

“Then is it true?” Shizuo yelled. “Did you force Tsuki’s town to offer him up as a sacrifice?! Did you violate this boy and kidnap him?!”

Roppi’s eyes narrowed. “Kidnapping is a bit of a stretch. The priest left the town to get the holy order. With the way Tsuki looks, you and I know he was going to get burned at the stake or something by them. I’d like to think I liberated him. And besides, we decided I’d take him away from his town when we first met back when we were kids.”

“LIBERATE?! What is WRONG with you?! You can’t take any promise a child made to heart! He was young and curious! He’s not young and curious anymore! He knows what he wants now, and he didn’t want to leave his rath!”

“As far as I fucking know, there’s nothing wrong with me! And what he wants isn’t important when his life’s at stake! Why the hell are you getting on my back about this?!”

“So, you don’t deny that you violated him?!”

“Well, yeah, I did! He wasn’t cooperating!”

Shizuo went for a second punch. Roppi dodged out of the way.

“You don’t get to fucking touch me again!” Roppi yelled.

“Have you realized what you have done?!” Shizuo shook his hands in rage, frustration evident on his face. “You blackened the heart of an innocent!”

“Oh, don’t go fucking preaching that stupid God shit at me! I don’t give a fuck about blackening or any of that shit!”

“Then care that you hurt this boy! Care that you took advantage of him! Made him suffer! Made him cry! Made him _beg for death_!”

“I do care! But this is only temporary! Once he gets used to me, it’ll be fine! I won’t have to get violent with him!”

“Why—how—how can you—why are you doing this to Tsukishima?!”

“Because I love him!”

Shizuo’s eyes widened. “You…did _this_ out of _love_?!”

“Why else would I do this?! Now that I have Tsuki, I’m not going to let him go! I love him, and because I love him, I’m going to do what I want.”

“That is _not_ how love works!”

“Seems to be how it works as far as I’ve seen! Not like you’re a prime example with you fucking a vampire!”

“This has nothing to do with me! If you loved Tsuki, then you should have confessed and make a consensual relationship! Kidnapping, raping! This isn’t love, Roppi! This is slavery!”

“Pah, you’re calling my love slavery?! What the hell is your love?! You keep Izaya cooped up inside this manor, starving him and fucking him however you see fit! What’s the diff—”

Roppi was punched again. Roppi groaned but kept his footing.

Tsuki tilted his head against the bed. The blond was having trouble staying conscious. His lungs were hurting still, however, he wasn’t coughing anymore. His attack was passing. He’d live. Whether or not it was fortunate or unfortunate was up for debate. Toudai was tapping Tsuki’s arm, trying to get the blond to look at him. Most-likely to make sure he was still conscious. But Tsuki didn’t care about the doctor. He was more concerned with the conversation the enraged priest and his kidnapper were having. At this point in time, Tsuki didn’t have enough effort or consciousness left to focus on more than one thing. Just Shizuo and Roppi.

 “You don’t understand anything!” Shizuo yelled. “And stop turning this on me! We are not talking about me! We are talking about you! You and the villainy you’ve committed!”

“What villainy?! I love Tsuki! That’s all there is to it!”

“Just because you love him does not mean that you can do whatever you want to him!”

“Yes, it fucking does! He’s mine! My gift sent from heaven! I can do what I want!”

The atmosphere in the room shifted immediately. Tsuki was aware of it. Rubi’s expression shifted in horror. Shizuo stared at Roppi wide-eyed before his eyes narrowed with disgust.

“Kurashi-san, I have your bag!” the nameless brunette called as he rushed into the room.

“Toudai-san,” Shizuo said, “Take Tsuki and get out. Roppi and I need to have a talk.”

Toudai looked up at Shizuo with confusion but he questioned nothing as he put his arms under Tsuki’s.

“Come, Tsuki-kun, try to stand.”

The blond looked at Toudai lazily. His vision was blurring, his throat was aching. Tsuki attempted to push himself up, however, he had no strength in his limbs. He couldn’t get up, even though he desperately wanted to.

Shitsuo rushed over to Tsuki. The blond kneeled before him and wrapped his arms around the teenager. He lifted Tsuki up, keeping his legs pressed together and folding them by his side. He hooked his arm under Tsuki’s rump, placing his other arm around Tsuki’s back to keep him from falling. Tsuki wrapped his arms around the blonde’s neck but it was a half-hearted attempt in which his arm just lazily sat over Shitsuo’s shoulder.

Shitsuo stood and turned to the door. Toudai followed closely behind. Toudai tugged on Rubi’s arm to get the white-haired man to move. Rubi followed, seeming to be walking more in a daze than consciously making an effort. Izaya closed the door behind them.

As soon as the latch sounded, violence could be heard. Roppi called out in pain, things started to break, feet stomped in rush movements. Tsuki’s eyes widened.

**_‘He’s beating Hachimenroppi.’_ **

Shitsuo took a brisk pace down the hall.


	6. Chapter 6

“Come along, he can rest in my study.” Izaya said.

 The ‘vampire’ turned and led the way further into the manor. They made it back to the stairs and went up the other flight heading to the west wing. The party turned into a room, the door no different than the next. Tsuki couldn’t focus long enough to verify the layout of this study.

“Place him here.” Izaya gestured.

Tsuki was placed on a couch. The blond groaned before he rolled over to lay on his side. His cloak covered his body like a blanket. At least he didn’t have to worry about being exposed. Now it was just worrying about whether or not he could breathe or if he would puke again. He could breathe well enough that he probably wouldn’t faint. He had no strength in his body and exhaustion was creeping at the forefront of his mind. He just wanted to sleep. He knew he probably shouldn’t. Considering his nose was broken, he was under the fear of suffocating while he slept.

He barely noticed Toudaimoto kneeling before him. And he couldn’t make out any of what he was saying. Tsuki could barely even see him. The blond could only see Toudai out of one eye. He was aware that the doctor was pulling things out of his bag, but he couldn’t make out what things.

In the next second, Toudai’s hand was placed around Tsuki’s throat.

Fight or flight kicked in immediately. He stopped seeing the doctor and instead saw another black-haired man. One that wanted to hurt him. One that would often grab him by his neck. Tsuki screamed. He reached up and grabbed at the hand. The brunette quickly pulled his hand away. Tsuki bent forward, keeping his own hands around his neck to protect it from anyone else’s grip. The back of his hands touched his knees, the blond completely caving in on himself in a form of the feeble position. He didn’t want to bend completely forward, less he become violated instead of choked, so he kept his rump pressed to the couch—more so to his cloak that was laying underneath him.

“N-n-n-n-n-n-no.” Tsuki shook his head over and over. He was making himself lightheaded he was shaking it so vigorously. “I-I-I-I-I’m s-s-s-s-sorry. I’m s-s-s-s-sorry.”

A hand touched his shoulder. Tsuki jolted and hunkered down even lower.

“I’M SORRY!”

The hand left the blonde’s back. Tsuki fell away into sob, burying his face into his hands. He didn’t care that his eye hurt from the touch. He didn’t care that he was smearing blood on his hands. He just wanted to hide. He wanted this to end. He just wanted to disappear. If he could stop existing just long enough for this nightmare to end, he would never ask God for any other favor for the rest of his life.

“S-sorry. Sorry. I’m s-s-sorry.”

God didn’t answer Tsuki’s pray. He hadn’t answered his prayers since he met Hachimenroppi. There was nothing more than never-ending suffering as soon as he met that devil.

“Somebody help me…”

Tsuki just couldn’t take anymore than this. He had reached the end of his wits and the end of his courage. He wasn’t strong, and he didn’t have the heart to pretend he was strong. He was alone, scared, hurt, and soiled. He wanted to be held by a pair of arms that he knew wouldn’t hurt him. He wanted his brothers, his mother. Hell, even a hug from one of the dogs would be enough comfort for him right now.

A weigh joined him on the couch. He felt something lay over his back. He was too scared to look so he kept his eyes closed and refused to move his hands.

“It’s okay.” A voice whispered in his ear. “It’s okay. Just breath.”

The voice was beautiful and smooth. Almost like a lullaby. It soothes Tsuki’s senses almost instantly.

**_‘God?’_ **

But this voice couldn’t lie to him. Tsuki knew his situation well enough to know that this voice was speaking a false truth.

“I-It’s no-not okay. It’s not…It’s not.”

“It will be. After a night’s rest, it’ll be—”

“I don’t want to-to sleep! Wh-what if Ro-Ro-Roppi—”

“Roppi won’t touch you. You’re safe for now. Shizu-chan is taking care of him.”

“Sh-Shizu…” Tsuki couldn’t speak around his sobs.

“It’ll be okay. Just sleep for now.”

A puff of breath brushed against his cheek.

“I-I can’t sleep e-e-even if I-I-I wan-wanted to.” Tsuki hicced. “E-e-e-every-everything hur-hurts.”

There was a pause. Then the weight on Tsuki’s back was lifted.

“It’s confirmed, his nose is definitely broken.” The couch shifted slightly. “My breath should have knocked him out by now.”

**_‘B-breath…’_ **

Tsuki didn’t want to look up. He didn’t dare know what he would do if it was Hachimenroppi. But at the same time, he wouldn’t know who it was unless he looked up. Tsuki worked up the little bit of courage he had left to glance in between his fingers and looked up.

It was the master of the house. Orihara Izaya. A vampire. The man had completely confirmed the claims he had heard as a pair of leather-like bat wings were shifting against his back. Tsuki gasped and sat up right fast, backing away till his back was pressed to the arm rest of the couch. He stared at Izaya wide-eyed, who now looked at him with a cocked brow.

“V-v-v-vamp…”

“Now, now, you don’t need to freak out over a different reason.” Izaya put his hands out to him in a gesture for calm. “Breathe, Tsuki-chan. In and out, like _haa_...”

Tsuki didn’t respond. He only continued to shake and stare at Izaya in horror. Exhaustion made it hard to keep his eyes on the monster. His asthma had completely passed now. He could breathe again, except for the blood that he had to constantly swallow or else.

Tsuki then laughed. A soft chuckle escaped his throat. He tilted his head down to put his head in his hands.

Tsuki let out a heavy sigh. “Ah, at this point, I shouldn’t-shouldn’t be surprised anymore. Heh heh, ah, I’ve—I must have fallen in-into hell somehow. May-maybe Roppi-san ac-actually did kill me that night and-and everything af-after has been the devils work.”

Tsuki tilted his head, resting it on the back of the couch.

“Or maybe I went insane some-somewhere along the way. What’s it matter, either or way?”

 “…Tsuki-kun.”

Tsuki glanced to the gentle voice.

Toudai sat down by Tsuki’s legs. The blond instinctive pulled his legs closer to his own body, away from Toudai, and placed his hands on the cloak over his crotch.

“Tsuki-kun.”

“What?”

“I need to touch your neck.”

“…Do I have a choice?”

“Of course, you do!” Toudai reached out and touched Tsuki’s arm. The teen flinched away. Toudaimoto retracted his hand. “I won’t do any medical treatment without your consent. I promise.”

Tsuki just chuckled. “Why bother? N-no one else cares for consent in-in this damnable place.”

A sad expression crossed Toudai’s face. “Tsuki-kun, I have no right to ask this of you. But please, don’t give up yet. Remember what Shizuo-san said? He’ll take you home.”

Tsuki stared at the wall. “I’m not giving up. Ei-either I go home, or I die. I…I can’t….keep living like _this_.”

“You shouldn’t think like that!”

“I’ve th-thought like this since Ro-Roppi-san was supposed to ea-eat me. I’m re-ready to die. I’m not ready for…this.”

Toudai looked at Tsuki as if he was about to cry. The teen didn’t understand why but he didn’t bother questioning it, either.

“Kid, er, Tsukishima.” Rubi’s voice rung out.

Tsuki lazily glanced at him.

“Um…What did you do to provoke Roppi?”

Tsuki’s eyes widened.

“He did nothing to provoke him, Rubi!” Toudai’s scream of rage was loud and piercing. The anger upon the doctor’s face destroyed his beautiful features as he glared death at the white-haired werewolf. “There is no justification for this! Tsuki-kun did nothing wrong here!”

“But…Roppi wouldn’t do this without—”

“How dare you, Rubi! How _dare_ you!”

Rubi’s eyes stretched wide as he looked at Toudai no differently than a child who was being scolded by his parents.

“How could you try to defend this act, Rubi?”

“I…I don’t—I’m not…defending.”

“You lie!”

“I’m trying to understand!” Rubi’s voice was laced with desperation. “I don’t understand! Any of this, it doesn’t make sense!”

“You and I both know that this makes perfect sense.”

Rubi’s eyes widened to Izaya’s melancholic voice resounding. All eyes turned to the vampire. A wicked grin crossed his lips.

“We both know, Rubi. ‘A gift sent from heaven’? For someone who doesn’t believe in God, why would he called Tsuki that? We know, those aren’t Roppi’s words. But Ryu’s, right?”

“That’s…that’s not right! Roppi is nothing like him!”

“Roppi was abused for years on end with no hope in sight. Do you think such acts wouldn’t leave a scar? Maybe not physical but definitely mental. You never thought it was strange that Roppi showed no signs of trauma, despite what he went through?”

Izaya leaned forward, a sick kind of pleasure encasing his eyes as he stared at Rubi.

**_‘He’s relishing in Rubi’s turmoil.’_** Tsuki realized.

“Roppi’s projecting himself on this boy. He’s let these traumatic events sit in the back of his mind. Never acknowledging them, never letting them breathe. They’ve festered and rotted until this point. Now he’s using Tsuki-chan as an outlet. He doesn’t love Tsuki. Shizu-chan’s right about that. This isn’t love. This is nothing more than a projection.”

“…I don’t understand…” Tsuki wheezed. Everything Izaya said didn’t make sense to him. How could the mind be wounded? What does projecting mean? Tsuki had so many questions but stating he didn’t understand was easier to say at the time.

Izaya looked at him with that evil grin. He opened his mouth to speak.

“No, you don’t get to tell him anything!” Rubi yelled. “You have no right to explain this!”

“So, you want Tsuki to remain in the dark?”

“No! I’ll explain it!”

Izaya’s smile widened. “Oh, really? Well then, by all means...” Izaya gestured for Rubi to go ahead.

Rubi glared at him. Then looked at Tsuki. He immediately faltered, throwing his gaze to the floor.

Tsuki let out a sigh. “T-Toudai-san…If you-you’re going to…my neck…”

Toudai looked at him. “…Alright. Excuse me.”

The doctor scooted closer. Tsuki flinched away out of reflex. Toudai held a gentle, smiling with reassurance up at Tsuki before he reached his hand out. His dainty fingertips touched Tsuki’s neck. The blond flinched yet again.

“It’s okay.” Toudai said. “It’s alright.”

Tsuki didn’t respond.

Toudai put his thumb against the left side of Tsuki’s Adam’s apple. His index finger pressed against the right side.

“Swallow, Tsuki-kun.” Toudai ordered in a gentle voice.

Tsuki obeyed.

“Again.”

Tsuki did so.

“It’s not swollen. Can you breathe okay?”

“Th-through my mouth, yes…”

Toudai nodded.

“Th-the asthma…it passed. I’m f-fine now…I can…breathe…”

Toudai nodded again. He took his hand away.

“Sakuraya-san,” The doctor said, “Can you get me a bowl of water and a clean rag?”

“Of course.”

The brunette that Tsuki originally didn’t know the name of went about doing as he was asked.

“Well, Rubi?” Izaya said. “Are you waiting for something?”

“Shut up. I don’t want to…disturb Toudai’s work.”

“You’re sta~~~llin~~~g!”

“Shut up, you despicable bastard!”

Izaya merely chuckled. “If you can’t handle something like this, I can—”

“NO!” Rubi clenched his teeth. “You don’t have a right!”

“And you do?”

“More than you!”

“Why? Because you’re his packmate? Then by that logic, Shitsuo could fill in the blanks.”

“No, I…”

Izaya cocked a brow.

Rubi’s hand’s clenched. “I’m his brother! It wouldn’t be right if someone else explained Roppi’s past!”

Tsuki stared at him. **_‘I don’t see the family resemblance.’_**

“Different mothers.” Rubi looked at Tsuki. The teens eyes widened. He thought he had thought that, but apparently, he said it out loud. “With werewolves, it’s the mother’s genes that dictate an infant’s appearance. It’s not a fifty-fifty thing between the mom and the dad.”

Tsuki didn’t understand what genes were but he wouldn’t ask.

“You never told me you had siblings.” Toudai looked at Rubi.

Sakuraya finally came over with a bowl of water.

“Thank you.” Toudai took it from the brunette.

Sakuraya walked back towards Shitsuo. Toudai placed the bowl on his lap as Rubi spoke.

“We’re not…Roppi and I are half-brothers. And Roppi doesn’t know we’re related.”

Rubi sat down on the floor. Toudai rung out the rag to get excess water out of it.

“Tsuki-kun, look this way for me.” Toudai said.

Tsuki obeyed.

Toudai gently rubbed the rag against Tsuki’s face.

“Ow…”

“I’m sorry.” The doctor said but didn’t stop cleaning the blood.

“In order to explain Roppi better,” Rubi said, “I need to explain myself a bit. I’m sorry.”

“I…” Tsuki started. “I al-already know about yo-your mother and th-the house fire.”

Rubi instantly glared at him.

“R-Roppi-san told me.”

Rubi grumbled. “He doesn’t know the full picture.”

“Then please, explain, Rubi-san.” Izaya sneered.

Rubi glared at him. Then he let out a sigh as defeat cascaded his features.

“Alright, so, it’s starts with Roppi’s dad. Our dad. Hachimenryu.”


	7. Chapter 7

_My mom had no intention to get pregnant. She was a head-strong woman who didn’t like the notion of having to rely on anyone but herself. She believed in herself so much, she refused to be part of a pack. She was enjoying her freedom._

_She ended up meeting Hachimenryu by accident. She was trying to cross a mountain rang to get to a port city. Probably the same mountain range you came from, Tsukishima. The Hachimen’s have owned that territory for years. It goes back generations. And like most animals, werewolves know not to enter other packs territories. It could start an all-out terf war, which would ultimately expose both packs to hunters._

_My mom thought she was an exception since she didn’t have a pack. But apparently, that just made her a bigger target. Hachimenryu offered her a place to sleep for the night. She was young and naive, so she accepted._

_Hachimenryu raped her that night. She didn’t stick around. She left as soon as he was off of her._

_A month later, she found out she was pregnant with me. My mom, she started to spiral a bit. She was scared. She didn’t want me, obviously, and now she was forced to carry a bastard’s son, alone. She didn’t’ want to go back to Ryu to try and make him take responsibility. She didn’t want to abandon me to Ryu’s mercy either. She had enough reason to understand I didn’t ask to be born. She wasn’t going to take it out on me. At least, she wouldn’t try to._

_She traveled around for a while before she found a man. As you know, a woman, pregnant without a husband is against the church. She wouldn’t be able to find sanctuary from anyone. But this one man, who was a priest in training, believed that everyone was deserving of sanctuary. A love started between them. As much as two people could love each other, considering the circumstances. He accepted her bastard child and helped her through the pregnancy. He even midwifed her because she didn’t trust anyone else to bring me into this world._

_They got married and for the longest part of my life, I wasn’t aware that my dad wasn’t my biological dad. Dad didn’t tell me until I was about ten-years-old. He would have liked to wait until I was much older, but it was pretty obvious that he and I looked nothing alike and I kept pressing him. He explained that my mom was pregnant when they met, but he didn’t know who my actual birth father was._

_Not long after that, I was playing with some kids in the village. We were just screwing around and playing games and the sort. I ended up letting it slip that I was a werewolf. The kids weren’t that phased but one of them told their parents and well…the story you know happened._

_The whole town came to kill us. They barricaded our door and windows then lit our house on fire. My mom transformed into a wolf, which ultimately saved my life. She took the brunt of the flames. She held up the burning roof with her back, so when the roof broke in, we had an escape route. My mom couldn’t save both me and my dad. Her fur was on fire and there were people waiting outside the house to kill us. My mom made a choice._

_Honestly, it wasn’t the choice she would have chosen a second time. I’m fairly certain it was only maternal instinct that made her choose me over Dad. Dad didn’t die to the flames. He was skewered by the townspeople while Mom took me and ran._

_My mother started spiraling bad. She was severely wounded, we were being hunted, and we had no sanctuary. The next few days were a frenzy of stopping long enough to take an hour nap at most and eating one meal a day. Despite her burns, she ran pretty far._

_After that, it was a constant endeavor of moving from cave to cave to cave. Every day, my mother got more and more paranoid. She stopped sleeping, started eating less. The strain was starting to get to her._

_And she finally caved._

_Easily the worse day of my life was when my mother abandoned me. She took me to Hachimenryu’s cave. I was told to stay outside until ‘the adults were done talking’. There was a heated discussion between Ryu and mom. I think he didn’t want to take me in and I don’t know what my mom said to change his mind. But the two came out after about thirty minutes. Ryu did not look happy. He was glaring at me the entire time._

_My mom gave me a hug, kissed me on the forehead and told me she was sorry. She said she wanted to be strong for me, but she just couldn’t do it anymore. She loved me, and she was sorry. She told me to behave for Ryu. I didn’t really understand that that would be the last time I see her. I told her I loved her and to not stay out too long, it was going to storm soon. She started crying after that. She called me a kind-hearted boy, she loved me, and she was sorry._

_Then she was gone._

_I waited for her every day. I’d wait in the mouth of the cave every day, hoping to see her. At one point I asked Ryu when she was coming back. That bastard told me my mom abandoned me to kill herself. She wasn’t coming back, and he was stuck with me._

_You can probably take a guess that Ryu was a despicable man. Telling something like that to a kid. I had no reason to believe him. But I also have no evidence to disprove him. I never saw my mother again and she had gone through so much, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was like that._

_That’s how I started living with Hachimenryu. It became clear to me why Mom left me with him. He was my biological father. Ignoring the fur and facial features, our skeletal structure is very similar. Broad shoulders, long limbs. You can see the same thing in Roppi too. I didn’t need Ryu to tell me he was my dad. Not that Ryu ever did. He’d tease me about it sometimes, being cryptic about who my dad was. When I was eleven, he told me what he did to my mother, chuckling and smiling the whole time. I was too young to do anything at the time, but I wanted to kill him. If I had the chance again, I would kill him._

_Roppi is only two years younger than me. But that didn’t really help the two of us get to know each other. I knew there was something wrong almost the day I started living with them. Roppi didn’t talk at all. He’d have bruises on his hips and forearms that never seemed to go away. He rarely left the cave, rarely left his room—which he shared with Ryu. If it wasn’t for the fact that he did move around every once in a while, I would have thought he was a corpse. His eyes had no life to them. It was like looking into the eyes of a dead fish._

_I tried to talk to him, to interact with him. Mostly because I wanted someone to play with. I was bored a lot of the time. It wasn’t like Ryu was good company and Roppi and I were close to age so I figured we could play. But Roppi just wasn’t the playing type. He didn’t really care to be active._

_I only figured out what was so wrong when I couldn’t sleep one night. I heard Roppi…well, moaning. Went to investigate and…the sight I saw is one you can probably figure. Ryu and Roppi, who was only about eight at the time, were having sex. Honestly, it’s the only time I’ve ever seen Ryu so loving. He kept calling Roppi his gift sent from heaven. That Roppi’s mother was approving of this union from the afterlife._

_I didn’t do anything. I’m not sure if doing something would have helped anyway. Ryu was way stronger than me so even if I had intervened, it would be the equivalent of poking a bear. So…I just went back to my bed and tried to go back to sleep._

_I’m not proud of that. But I was only ten. I couldn’t do anything._

_I…tried to bring it up to Roppi the next day but he didn’t even acknowledge me. At that point in time, Roppi was in a numb state of mind. He didn’t register anything unless it caused a physical response. So, he called out in pain when he hurt himself and his teeth chattered when he was cold. But trying to talk to him was like trying to talk to a tree. He didn’t respond, didn’t look at me, hell, half the time he wouldn’t even bathe because the smell didn’t bother him. Roppi wasn’t living. He was just existing._

_About a year of that passed before Ryu got himself skewered. I don’t know what he was thinking. We lived in a cave, so the basic necessities were food, water, and warmth. But for some reason, he wanted money. He decided he’d start stalking the town over the mountain, trying to terrorize them into giving them gold and fine jewels. That didn’t end well for him. There were a lot of people and a lot of long weapons. He got stuck like a pig. He came back to the cave filled with spears and arrows. I’m surprised he didn’t die on the way back._

_That was the first time I saw Roppi’s expression change. Seeing Ryu like that, covered in blood and huffing hard. Roppi smiled. He smiled, and he chuckled._

_He said, “How’d that work out for ya?”_

_Ryu probably would have beat the shit out of him if it wasn’t for the fact he was struggling to stand._

_Roppi and I spent the next three hours pulling everything out of him and wrapping him up. We were no doctors, obviously. Again, we were kids._

_Ryu’s fiasco at the town brought a separate pack of werewolves to our cave. Shizuo’s father, Kichirou, was not happy with Ryu’s bull. He probably would have killed Ryu for exposing werewolves like that if it wasn’t for the fact that Ryu was all Roppi and I had. Kichirou stayed with us for a month. He was a better doctor than we were, so he was taking care of Ryu. While he did that, Roppi and I had to hunt for ourselves. Shizuo taught me how to hunt game. Mind you, the only food we really ate was the cattle and pigs that Ryu brought back for us. I realize now, that was from your town, Tsukishima. Your offerings._

_Roppi was still kind of a blank slate as far as emotions went. He didn’t respond to Shizuo or Kichirou. But he started talking to me, so I thought that he was making progress. I didn’t know what to do once Ryu was healed and could do what he wanted to Roppi again._

_I ended up tell Kichirou about it. To say he was not happy was an understatement. He was talking about killing Ryu. He told me that Roppi and I were going to join the Heiwajima pack. Kichirou was an honorable man. He wasn’t going to kill an injured man. He instead isolated Ryu from us and decided he’d challenge Ryu to battle once he was healed._

_After hearing your story, Tsukishima, a lot of things started making sense. Roppi left the cave to go get food. He came back with a decent bucket full of fish. And he was smiling. He was so happy. When I asked him what happened, he told me it wasn’t anything special. Obviously, it was. Roppi was actually happy for once. He was being proactive and taking care of himself. He was taking bathes without someone having to tell him and it was actual baths, not just a rag wipe down. Roppi stunk to high heaven a lot of the time. I think…giving it some thought, I think that was when you met him. For better or for worse, meeting you put a bit of life in him._

_Roppi was in good spirits. But he started getting more and more depressed the more Ryu regained mobility. But it wasn’t just depression. He was showing hatred towards Ryu. He didn’t say anything or do anything. But he glared at him, which was a first as far as I’d seen._

_Ryu wasn’t that far from being healed up. He only had about two more weeks and he’d be able to fight Kichirou. I don’t know if it was because of nerves or his dominance was brought into question, but Ryu tried to start a fight with Kichirou. He was telling him to leave and never come back. That this mountain range was Hachimen territory and he was trespassing. They were getting very loud and were in each other faces. Ryu went to punch him a few times. Things were getting very, very heated. Shizuo was trying to corral us out of the cave cuz he was certain a fight was going to break out._

_Then Roppi stabbed Ryu._

_He went up behind Ryu with the knife we used for gutting our game and stabbed him in the lower back. The look of betrayal on Ryu’s face. I almost felt bad for him, even if he deserved it. He tried to attack Roppi, but he wasn’t at full recovery and Roppi was faster. Roppi stabbed him again, the second time in the chest. Ryu bled out pretty quick._

_Roppi was shaking and Ryu’s blood was on his hands. He looked shocked, like it hadn’t sunk in he killed Ryu yet._

_Kichirou tried to take the knife from Roppi. Roppi wasn’t having any of it. He ran out of the cave. I went after him. I was worried he was going to kill himself. No, I was for certain he was going to kill himself._

_I ended up finding Roppi sitting on one of the peaks of the mountain. I didn’t call out to him though. I…was disturbed by what I saw. Roppi, covered in Ryu’s blood, was staring at the moon with this wild, almost manic look on his face. And he was laughing. He was laughing as if he had lost him mind. He was crying too. Laughing and crying with his head tilted back towards to moon._

_I was convinced Roppi had gone mad. I was terrified to call out to him. I thought if I did, he would try to kill me. So, I went back to the cave and told Kichirou I couldn’t find Roppi._

_Roppi returned in the morning. He gave the knife back to Kichirou and didn’t talk about what happened last night. When Kichirou tried to bring it out, he said that it doesn’t matter anymore. Ryu’s dead and the dead can’t testify. Kichirou stated that letting Roppi kill Ryu was the biggest shame of his life. For a child to have to do something so horrendous, to take on a responsibility that only an adult should be burdened with, Kichirou said he failed us._

_After that, Kichirou offered to take us into the Heiwajima pack. Roppi refused, saying the Hachimen pack had to stay here else we’d be hunted. Kichirou couldn’t convince Roppi otherwise. And I wasn’t going to leave Roppi, so I stayed, as well. Kichirou came back to check on us once a month after that. As far as he was concerned, we were part of the Heiwajima pack, just separated for the time being. For the next seven years, Kichirou came to check on us. Other than that, it was just me and Roppi._

_I knew Roppi wasn’t fully over what Ryu did to him. There’s no way he could have been, after everything. Killing Ryu would never be enough. Roppi had nightmares. Every night, or every other night he’d wake up in a cold sweat. Sometimes he’d scream in his sleep. He stopped sleeping all together, which is why he has such a sour disposition. There’d be some days where Roppi would faint because his body couldn’t handle the lack of sleep._

_One day in particular, Roppi and I were trying to get down the mountain to go hunting. It had just sleeted, so the snow was turning to ice. We were struggling to make our way down. I suggested that we try another time. We had just enough meat left to last us the rest of the night. We could try again tomorrow. Roppi turned to yell at me and fainted on the spot. We were on a cliff-side and he nearly plummeted to his death. I ended up catching him, albeit a bit of the way down. He and I got pretty banged up, but we were both breathing, and nothing was broken. I took Roppi back to the cave. He didn’t regain consciousness until we were around the bend from our place._

_He didn’t talk to me for the rest of the day. He was in a very, very bad mood. I wasn’t sure if he was pissed about fainting or that we didn’t make it down the mountain or if he was just grouchy because he was tired. I didn’t ask. I just made dinner, kept the fire going then went to bed._

_I didn’t think anything was really wrong other than the fainting spell. I was worried about him, but I wasn’t sure what I could do. If I told him to go to sleep more, he’d just have nightmares that kept him up. And he’d yell at me for telling him the obvious. I debated bringing it up to Kichirou once he showed up. Mind you, this happened when I was sixteen. Roppi was fourteen._

_That…night…Roppi came to my bed. He started…touching. I freaked out and asked what he was doing! He said that he wanted to sleep. He didn’t want to be affected by Ryu anymore. He wanted to get better. He said if I…slept with him, it’d help him more than just sleeping._

_I shouldn’t have agreed with that line of thinking. It was dumb._ So _dumb. Roppi didn’t even know we were related. He didn’t know how wrong that kind of request was. But I…honestly thought that it would help him._

_It wasn’t a onetime occurrence. He didn’t have nightmares on the nights we did it, but it was only on those nights. When he tried to sleep by himself, he’d wake up screaming. Roppi and I…those kinds of nights went on for nearly a year. We didn’t tell anyone. Definitely didn’t tell Kichirou. I was scared of the repercussions Kichirou would have on me. I was scared Kichirou would tell me I was being no different than Ryu and he wouldn’t believe me if I said that Roppi came onto me. Roppi has always been a recluse so I’m not surprised he didn’t say anything._

_But yeah, for a year, Roppi and I had that kind of relationship. At the seven-month mark, Roppi started drifting away from me, which was a good thing. He didn’t need me to sleep with him as often. His nightmares were become less frequent. At the nine-month mark, he’d come lay down with me, but we wouldn’t have sex. He would ask me to just…hold him until he fell asleep. He didn’t have nightmares. After that point, Roppi and I started having sex every once in a while, then by the twelfth month mark, it ended all together._

_Roppi never brought it up and I didn’t ask. It wasn’t like I necessarily wanted to have sex with him anyway, so it was no skin off my nose that we stopped. Roppi kept casting me suspicious glances. Honestly, he still does. But I just pretend I don’t see them._

_I thought he finally overcame his trauma. He improved so much. He started interacting with the pack more, started helping Shizuo with the duties of the pack. He was caring and resourceful. He excelled in fighting and hunting._

_I thought Roppi was better._

_But I was wrong._


	8. Chapter 8

“But I was wrong.” Rubi looked up at Tsukishima. “…It…would seem that instead of getting better, Roppi just got worse. He just stopped showing it. I think…I think Roppi did love you. When you two first met, if I’m right about the timeframe, then you really were the one that saved Roppi. I don’t doubt that he loved you. But…it’s not…like that anymore. He’s…twisted his love for you into some fucking therapy session for himself.”

Tsuki didn’t say anything. He couldn’t be bothered to say anything as he was too busy crying. Rubi’s story had left him in tears. Despite his suffering at the hands of Hachimenroppi, Roppi had also suffered. If someone had saved Roppi earlier, maybe things could be different between the two of them. Definitely not lovers. Tsukishima could never see himself going against God. But friends? They could have been friends! If only this Hachimenryu hadn’t hurt Roppi so bad. There could have been a chance for salvation.

Tsuki could only imagine how alone Roppi had been. He must have been scared and sad and in pain, by himself for so long. He was all alone for years on end, suffering at the hands of a man who used God as a cash-prize. As an excuse to enact evil upon the heart of an innocent.

Roppi was a victim. And because Roppi was a victim, Tsukishima had also become a victim. This was all Hachimenryu’s fault.

“It’s still no excuse, Rubi.” Toudai said.

Tsuki’s eyes widened. So did Rubi’s.

“What?” the white-haired wolf asked.

“It’s no excuse. What happened to Roppi is still no excuse to the horrors he’s put Tsuki-kun through.”

Rubi’s eyes stretched wide. “You heartless—I wasn’t saying it was an excuse! How can you be—how can you be so cold?!”

“Your past can help shape you, but it is the choices you make in the present that define you. I understand that PTSD is not as simple as that, but everyone has a choice. Roppi had a choice to be better than Ryu and instead he decided to be as bad, if not worse than him. Trauma does not excuse evil, Rubi. And what Roppi is putting Tsuki through is pure evil.”

“That’s—Ryu did this to him! If Ryu hadn’t—”

“Ryu isn’t here. Ryu cannot be held accountable for his crimes anymore. He is dead and as Roppi stated, the dead can’t testify. However, Roppi is here. Roppi is the one placing his hands on Tsukishima. Roppi is the one who kidnapped Tsukishima. Roppi is the one who continued to terrorize an entire town full of people. It is Roppi’s hands and it is him who should be held accountable. Regardless of the past, everything he has done was done by his own free will. He needs to take responsibility for his actions, whether he realizes how evil he’s being or not.”

Rubi fell silent.

Izaya started to laugh. It was soft and rivaled that of a snicker. The group looked at him.

“You’ll be quite a positive addition to the pack.” Izaya said. “You may be the only member that has a backbone.”

“Fuck off with you.” Rubi growled.

Izaya just smiled.

Toudai just let out a sigh. “Well, regardless of Roppi’s past, this all ends here.”

The doctor turned back to Tsukishima, ringing out the rag again. The water had turned a tinge of pink as most of the blood on Tsuki’s face had been washed off during Rubi’s story. He rubbed some more of the crimson off.

“Shizuo-san will be taking you to the church tomorrow, if the holy order isn’t there. If not, then I’m sure he’ll stay guard with you while we take Roppi and leave. Tonight should be the last you see of Hachimenroppi, Tsuki-kun.”

Tsuki felt his hands tremble at the prospect. A small smile crept across his face as he nodded, fresh tears stinging his eyes. Happy tears. “Th-thank you.”

“I believe it is Shizuo-san you should give thanks to.”

Tsuki nodded. He then inhaled deeply to keep his emotions under control.

“On a separate note.” Toudai’s eyes hardened with seriousness. “I would like to give you a full-body examination. I wouldn’t be surprised if Roppi tore your stitches. And tore something else.”

Tsuki stiffened as his hands clenched.

“It will just be you and I. I will make everyone leave. However, this is a necessity. Anal penetration can be extremely dangerous if it is done poorly. It can cause internal bleeding, which won’t be painful necessarily. But you will bleed to death without realizing it.”

“…Um…” Tsuki tilted his head down. “I…Ro-Roppi didn’t…”

“You don’t need to be brave.” Toudai put his hand over Tsuki’s. “You need to be honest. I know you may be scared but I promise this examination is purely professional.”

“N-n-no.” Tsuki scooted back and pulled his hand away. “Ro-Roppi di-didn’t. There wasn’t…”

Tsuki started to fidget as his cheeks warmed with a blush.

“Shi-Shizuo-san in-interrupted. Roppi didn’t…m-make it that…far…”

 “That is the truth?”

Tsuki nodded.

Toudai stared at him with an expression that said he didn’t believe him fully.

“I’m n-not ly-lying. I ha-have no re-reason to lie.”

“I’d beg to differ.” Toudai said, his expression becoming droll. “I don’t know many who are willing to admit they were raped. But I won’t press it. Just know, if you are lying to me, you could be putting your life in danger.”

“I’m no-not lying.”

Toudai nodded. “Okay. A full-body examination is still a necessity, however.”

Tsuki stared at him. His brows furrowed. He truly didn’t want to expose himself to this stranger. This deviant. Not with a room full of people and all eyes on him. But at the same time, his body was hurting all over. His ankle hurt immensely and was throbbing. He wouldn’t be surprised if it was broken. The cuts on his back were aching bad. They definitely felt torn. And his face. God, his face was in agony. Especially his bruised eye. He couldn’t see anything out of that eye. He had no idea if his eye was broken or swollen shut. He needed medical attention. There was no arguing that.

Tsuki let out a heavy sigh. “E-every—it’ll ju-just be you and I?”

“Mm-hm.” Toudai nodded.

Tsuki clenched his fist. “…Okay…”


	9. Chapter 9

“Alright, Izaya, I leave Tsukishima to you.” Shizuo said.

The priest stood in front of the door. A small bag sat against his back.

“Ar-are you su-sure you should g-go?” Tsuki asked. “I-it gets co-cold at night. M-maybe you should-should wait un-until morning.”

Tsukishima and Izaya stood before Shizuo, more towards the interior. Tsuki was standing similar to a crane, his tightly wrapped ankle lifted ever so slightly off the ground so as not to apply pressure to it.

“Don’t worry. Izaya will keep you safe.” Shizuo patted Tsuki on the head, ruffling his blond hair softly. “It’s a six hour hike from here to the church for a human. I can’t risk transforming and being spotted by any of the holy order.”

“W-would it be sh-shorter if you…wer-were in your…other form?”

“Well, yes. I would get there in four hours if I was walking as a wolf. But it’s too dangerous at this point in time.”

Tsuki nodded. “Th-the-then you-you could lea-leave in the mor-morning and be-be back by evening the sam-same night.”

“And risk a member of the holy order overhearing Shizu-chan and Tom-san talking?” Izaya said. “They’ll come looking for the werewolf that kidnapped you and question why I was housing said werewolf. Everyone in this household will be put to death instantly.”

Tsuki fell silent. “S…sorry.”

“It’s alright.” Both of Shizuo’s hands came up to entangle in Tsuki’s blond hair. The teen closed his eyes tight shut as his hair was ruffled. “I understand. But don’t worry. Izaya will keep you safe.”

“Roppi is under lockdown.” Izaya said. “Although, I doubt he’ll be moving around very much anyway. He was quite pummeled.”

Shizuo glared at Izaya. But didn’t say anything to him. He took his hand away from Tsuki’s hair.

“To be on the safe side, Tsukishima,” Shizuo said, “Don’t go anywhere in this household without someone with you—with the exception of the bathroom, of course. Okay?”

“O…okay.” Tsuki nodded.

The priest smiled at him. “Would you like a moment of prayer before I go?”

Tsuki looked up at him wide-eyed. Then he smiled and nodded vigorously. Shizuo also smiled. The priest held his hands up. Tsuki put his hands together in prayer then placed them in Shizuo’s. The blond priest closed his hands over the teens. The two tilted their heads down and closed their eyes.

“Hear me, Our Father, Who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”

“Amen.”

“We ask that You provide guidance and sanctuary to this lost soul, Tsukishima. Keep him safe in my stead. Protect him throughout this night until morning light. And provide him hope so he may remain strong and faithful to You. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.”

“Um…” Tsuki opened his eyes for a moment.

Shizuo’s eyes also opened. Tsuki made eye contact then shifted his eyes to the ground.

“I-I…wi—I wish to o-offer pr-prayer for H-Hachimenroppi.”

Shizuo’s eyes widened.

“R-Ro-Roppi-san is…is a lost soul who needs guidance. I…I cannot forgive Roppi for hi-his villainy. Ho-however, I pray for-for the salvation of-of his immor-immortal soul. I pr-pray that God can h-help turn Ro-Roppi away from his path t-to damnation.”

Izaya held back a laugh. Shizuo glared at him while Tsuki merely glanced.

“How generous, Tsukishima.” The vampire said, smiling a condescending smile. “You have such a huge heart.”

“Th-thank you.” Tsuki said.

“Don’t encourage him.” Shizuo headbutted Tsuki gently to regain his attention. It actually hurt a bit but Tsuki wouldn’t say anything.

“I think it’s safe to say that Roppi doesn’t deserve you.” Izaya continued as if Shizuo hadn’t said anything.

Tsuki cast his gaze to the ground. **_‘That doesn’t sound like a compliment. Almost like…Roppi doesn’t deserve me but he does. No, I’m overthinking it.’_**

Tsuki closed his eyes tight shut and shook his head to clear it of such thoughts.

“Alright, Tsukishima. We offer prayers for Hachimenroppi. He has begun a journey down the road to damnation, however, there is still good within him. We pray that he may find the guidance of God, so he may return to the path to righteousness. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.”

“Amen.”

Shizuo smiled down at Tsuki. The teen smiled back as he pulled his hands away. Shizuo reached up and ruffled Tsuki’s hair one last time.

“Alright,” The priest said, “remember, don’t go anywhere in the manor without someone else, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I’ll be back by tomorrow afternoon.”

“Okay.”

“Oh. Here.”

Shizuo reached around his neck and pulled out a rosary from under his clothes. A silver cross sat on the end of the red beads. He lifted the holy item over his head and put it over Tsuki’s. The silver put a slight weight on the back of the teen’s neck.

“Keep God in your heart,” Shizuo said, “and He shan’t lead you astray.”

Tsuki nodded, holding the cross tightly.

“Shi~zu~chan!” Izaya hopped behind Tsukishima, leaning the top half of his body forward while he tucked his hands behind his back.

The priest glared at him.

“Can I get a good-bye kiss?” Izaya smiled up at him.

Tsuki’s eyes widened as he looked at the vampire.

**_‘A priest being a werewolf is one thing. But…but a werewolf that is also a homosexual?  A priest can’t be so blasphemous.’_ **

Shizuo’s pale cheeks turned a shade pink as he stared at Izaya with a glare. He glanced at Tsukishima, made eye contact with the teenager. He then glared down at the ground. He turned his head away with a look of annoyed disapproval, his eyes closed.

“Quit fooling around, flea.”

Tsuki glanced at Izaya to see the vampire’s expression contort in surprise. Then his brow immediately furrowed into a sad expression. But within the same second, that condescending smile cascaded over his face.

“How mean. No need to be bashful.”

“Shut up, flea!” Shizuo opened his eyes to glare at him. “I’m going now.”

“Bye-bye bee~~!”

“G-good-bye, Father.”

The priest turned to the door. He pulled the extravagant carved wood open. Instantly, cold air buffeted Tsukishima, making his shiver. Shizuo stepped out and closed the door behind him.

**_‘I feel bad.’_ **

“Well, Tsuki-chan,” Izaya said. “Do you have an appetite right now?”

Tsuki looked up at him.

**_‘That seemed like Shizuo-san wanted to kiss Izaya-san but because I was here, he couldn’t.’_ **

“Um…” Tsuki looked to the side. “N-not really. I’m…not hungry…”

**_‘He shouldn’t…Shizuo-san shouldn’t be in a relationship with a man. But if he is…Izaya-san was rejected to save Shizuo’s image.’_ **

“Did you eat the food Shizu-chan brought you earlier?” Izaya asked.

**_‘That…must have really hurt Izaya-san.’_ **

“I’m s-sorry.” Tsuki said.

Izaya cocked a brow. “Why are you apologizing?”

“Um…If…if you wa-wanted—Shizuo-san—you could-couldn’t kiss Shizuo-san be-because I was...”

Izaya’s eyes widened. A near innocent expression of surprise crossed the cynical man’s face.

Then the vampire burst out laughing. Tsuki jolted, his eyes stretching wide. Izaya tilted his head back as he laughed heartily, placing a hand over his eyes. Tsuki wasn’t sure if he was trying to hide his face in embarrassment or if he just found it so funny he had to put his palm to his face.

“Hahahaha, you’re quite perceptive, aren’t you, Tsuki-chan?” Izaya said through his laugh. “You have a heart of gold! You must, hahaha! As a faithful Christian, you can’t possible condone a male priest and a male vampire being in a romantic relationship, hee hahahaha!”

“W-we-well…” Tsuki rung his hands together in discomfort. “I-I can’t—I don’t con-condone it b-but you’re…if-if you two are in a con-consensual relationship—if you were a-a woman and Fa-Father Shizu-zuo had re-rejected you be-because I was there, I’m-I’m sure it wo-would hurt emotion-emotionally.”

Izaya tilted his head down, peeking through his pinky and ring finger to look at Tsuki with one eye. Izaya’s hand came off his face. The master stepped forward, staggering almost like he was going to fall. Tsuki’s eyes widened as he reached out to catch him. But Izaya seemed to have his movements under control as he easily caught himself, as if that janky motion had been intentional. A smile was on Izaya’s lips once again as his face was mere inches from Tsuki’s.

“You truly are a unique specimen. You’re so heavily Christian that you would deny medical treatment from a deviant, yet you don’t pass judgement on Toudaimoto-san for his taste, nor bash him or verbally abuse him. You believe in God, but you don’t use it to hurt others. You’re kind-hearted and generous and even want to give compassion to Hachimenroppi, who had done things to you that should cause resentment and hatred. Yet you forgive him.”

Izaya backed away, his arms flailing out in a theatrical flair as he began to spin on one foot, the other bent up in a feminine manor.

“This is why humans are so interesting! While a holy order rages outside these walls, there is still the compassion of God within! Humans are currently killing each other left and right, claiming it to be the righteous work of God and smearing blood over every church and every bible in this country! Yet a child who has suffered at the hands of the monsters this order should be hunting can’t bring himself to hate his kidnapper! To hate his rapist!”

Izaya turned back to Tsuki. A maniacal happiness was shining in his russet eyes as he held his arms out to Tsuki as if to beckon a hug.

“A child of God has been abused by a monster considered a devil and yet he refuses to hate the monster! You have a golden heart that flairs with compassion for a beast that doesn’t deserve it! You’re empathetic but close-minded! Carrying but absolute! You’re so, _so_ interesting! This is why I love humanity! I’m so deeply in love with humans that I’d rather starve myself than eat any of you to death! If I had, then I’d never be able to see such interesting personalities!”

Tsuki had no idea how to respond to this crazy rant he had just witnessed. He stared at Izaya wide-eyed with his lips pursed between his teeth. Nodding would probably be an appropriate response so that’s what Tsuki did.

“HAHAHAHAHAHA! What’s with that face, Tsuki-chan?! You look so uncomfortable!”

Tsuki just nodded. “Mm-hm.”

“Hahaha…ah, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to scare you, hahaha. You’re such an amazing individual, I just got excited.”

“Mm-hm.” Tsuki nodded.

“Neh, maybe you should just stay here with me. I’d be able to observe your development and you can broaden your horizon!”

Tsuki instantly felt nervous. His shoulders stiffened, and his fists clenched. “Um…I…I-I-I—”

“I was joking. It was just a joke! Don’t be so stiff.”

**_‘Is he really joking? Or is he lying to me to catch me off guard?’_ **

“Neh, Tsuki-chan. Tell me, how can you show compassion to Hachimenroppi after everything he’s done to you?”

“…To…to show hatred towards…to show hatred towards the devil is-is just pl-playing into the devil’s hand. Hatred is a-a sin of the d-devil so to di-divulge in such would be sinful. Be-besides…”

Tsuki tilted his head down.

“There is…an obvious madness to-to Roppi-san’s actions. He…he is not in his right mind. To…condemn him…”

“I would say that Roppi is in his right mind. He knows what he’s doing.”

“But he…he doesn’t s-s-seem to know wh-what he’s do-doing is wrong.”

“Or he doesn’t care. Because right or wrong means nothing in the face of his own happiness.”

Tsuki’s brow furrowed. **_‘That’s…entirely possible. But…’_**

“I still can’t hate him. It would be w-w-w-wrong of m-me to hate him. I…I have already been…damned enough b-by him. I n-need not damn my-myself.”

“Oh, so your compassion is purely selfish? You’ll be kind to Roppi-chan so your name will be put in the book of life.”

“I can-cannot be kin-kind to Roppi-san. Th-that is not possible. N-nor do I c-care to like hi-him. But…I…I pity him. H-his retched past has shaped hi-him bu-but as Toudai-san said, t-trauma does-does not justify evil do-doing. I…I want him to ge-get better. I’m-I’m sure that su-such a past has been a bu-burden on his very soul. Do-doing this to me…is putting a burden on hi-his soul. He may n-not feel guilty, but I kno-know he does not like the re-la-lationship we have. He’s…hurting himself emotionally w-when he hu-hurts me physically. Maybe…I-I would think…”

“And if he doesn’t?” Izaya leaned forward. “If he relishes in your suffering? If your crying face is what turns him on?”

Tsuki’s eyes widened. Then his brows furrowed as tears began to burn his eyes. “I…I don’t kn-know. I…hon-honestly, I’m sc-scared. I’m scared of Ro-Roppi-san so much. But I’m…I’m even more sc-scared of how R-Roppi-san might m-make me. I’m s-sc-scared th-that if I st-start hating him…I’ll lose myself.”

“So being kind is the only way you can preserve yourself. Being kind is your defense mechanism.”

“…I don’t know…”

“Well, what about Toudaimoto-san, then? You haven’t been vile to him at all, despite him being a deviant.”

“To…to show hatred to To-Toudai-san is-is not my place. I-I cannot judge others in-in the pl-place of God. I-I’m not condoning bu-but I can’t cast ju-judgement.”

“Heh,” Izaya smirked, knowingly. “To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.”

Tsuki’s eyes stretched wide as he looked up at the vampire.

Izaya’s smirk turned into a grin. “Titus 3:2.”

“You-you know the-the words of-of the bible?!” Tsuki rushed forward. His injured ankle immediately protested to the act, which made him call out in pain and lose balance. His hands gripped the shirt that lied over Izaya’s stomach in order to stabilize himself. Izaya assisted in the act by putting his arms under Tsuki’s elbows and lifting. Tsuki tried his best to ignore the pain and looked up at him with wide eyes. “You-you know the hol-holy words?”

“Of course I do.”

“Bu-but I…I thought that va-vampires hu-hurt when the n-name of God is spo-spoken? They-they burn under hol-holy water, under s-salt, and silver and the cr-cross.”

“Oh? So, knowing that, you asked for Shizuo to give you mass while I was standing right next to you?”

Tsuki jolted. He didn’t realize he had done that. “U-um…!”

Izaya chuckled. He reached up and curled his fingers around the silver cross on Tsuki’s chest. He opened his palm to display the cross in his hand. There was no burning, like Tsuki was led to believe would happen to a vampire, nor any deformity of the skin.

“Most of what you said is just an old wise-tale. We vampires don’t burn under the cross or the bible or iron. Not even holy water does anything. Salt hurts us slightly, but that’s only because we have advanced senses of smell and taste. Have you ever over-salted your meal or had someone over-salt your meal?”

Tsuki nodded.

“That’s what most food tastes like with salt.”

“…I…thought v-vampires ca-can only drink…”

“Blood?”

Tsuki didn’t answer.

“Heh,” Izaya let the cross go and turned around. He began walking away. Tsuki followed, limping heavily. “We can eat food. Food tastes good after all. But we can only get sustenance from blood. Do you know what a dessert is?”

“Ye-yes.”

Izaya stopped to let Tsuki catch up then held his arm out for Tsuki to use as a crutch. Tsuki wrapped his arms around the limb, holding the bicep of the vampire tightly.

“Pies and cakes?” Izaya asked.

“Yes.”

The two turned down a hallway off to the side of the staircase.

“Eating any form of food is like eating cake. It tastes good, but it has no nutritional value and can add to your weight. Blood is like eating meat and salads. We need to eat it in order to stay healthy. If a human eats nothing but cake, they’ll become sick. It’s the same thing for vampires.”

Tsuki stared up at him. Then glanced to the side. “Do-does it have to…to be hu-human blood?”

“Well, yes. You can eat salad everyday, but the loss of meat in the diet will start to affect you. Unless you can find an adequate supplement, only eating salad can hurt you. Of course, if you stop eating meat, you can start eating spinach in order to gain iron that you would gain from meat. But vampires don’t have that option. If we don’t eat iron, an abundant amount, it’ll damage our health.”

“Oh…” Tsuki rung his hands together. “Um…do…do you…well…”

“What?”

“I wa-was bleeding a-a lot to-today.” Tsuki looked up at Izaya. The fear was evident in his eyes. “Are…have I m-m-made you hun-hungry?”

“Are you offering to feed me?”

Tsuki immediately shook his head, stopping in his tracks and letting Izaya’s arm go. He took a hesitant step back.

“Don’t be scared.” The vampire said. “Shizu-chan would be angry if I ate you.”

Tsuki’s eyes widened. Roppi’s words rung in the back of his mind.

_“You keep Izaya cooped up inside this manor, starving him and fucking him however you see fit!”_

“Come along. You have nothing to fear from me.”

Izaya held his hand out to him. A gentle smile was on his lips, warm and inviting. Tsuki felt compelled to trust this man despite knowing he shouldn’t.

Tsuki reached his hand out. He looked at Izaya with uncertainty as he placed his hand in Izaya’s. Soft fingers folded over the back of Tsuki’s hand. There was no form of violence to the touch as the vampire guided Tsuki closer, so they were standing side by side. Then he turned and returned Tsuki’s arms back to the stabilizing hold they were in before. The two began walking down the hall again.

**_‘Is what Roppi-san said true, I wonder? Is Izaya-san a captive like me? Is that why he’s been so kind to me, because he can relate to my situation?’_ **

“W-where are we g-going?” Tsuki asked.

“To the kitchen. I’m sure we can make you something to eat.”

“I’m…not hungry.”

“Did you eat the food Shizu-chan brought you earlier?” Izaya repeated the question he had asked before.

Tsuki shook his head.

“You need to eat something. You must keep your strength up. You’ll be having a long journey ahead of you sooner rather than later.”

Tsuki tossed his gaze to the ground. “I…I know…I just…”

“I’m sure you want the taste of blood out of your mouth, right?”

Tsuki’s expression darkened.

“How’s your nose, by the way? Does it still hurt?”

Tsuki looked up at him. “It-it hurts to tou-touch but br-breathing’s fine. Um, I can-can’t smell an-anything though.”

“It’ll probably be like that for the next few days. I don’t think it’s permanent damage though. You should be able to smell once the bruising passes.”

“M-mm.” Tsuki nodded.

“What about your eye? Can you see? It didn’t swell all that much considering the force of the punch but it’s very black.”

“B-bl-black?” Tsuki looked up at him. “M-my eye is bl-black?”

“Very. Did Toudai not give you a mirror?”

Tsuki shook his head.

“Well, there should be a mirror in the kitchen. I’ll show you.”

**_‘I’m scared to look.’_ **

“It’ll be alright. I think not know is scarier than knowing.”

Tsuki jolted. **_‘Did he just read my mind?’_**

“What’s wrong, Tsuki-chan?” Izaya tilted his head, smiling warmly.

“D-did you ju-just re-read my-my mind?”

“Hm?” Izaya’s smile didn’t change. “No. You were making a face that said you were scared.”

“W-was I?”

“Mm-hm!” Izaya nodded.

“Yo-you sc-scared me fo-for a moment.”

“I’m very sorry.”

Tsuki nodded. “It-it’s okay.”

“But does your eye hurt?”

Tsuki nodded. “It-it’s not as b-bad as before. I…I can’t se-see out of i-it. He-he said if I can’t see-see out of it tomorrow, I-I may have per-permanent dam-damage to my ey-eye. He said there isn-isn’t much he-he can do to he-help that. Ju-just make sure it do-doesn’t get infected.”

“That would be terrible.”

Tsuki nodded solemnly. “But it does-doesn’t hurt too bad. Whe-when I scru-scrunch my brow, it hurts. And I can-can’t widen it p-past the ha-half-mast point.”

“You can’t as in you physically can’t or you can’t because it’ll hurt?”

“Both. Tr-trying hurts but I can’t.”

“Ah, I see. Well, if blindness does become prominent, I know some medicinal herbs that’ll help. If you are permanently blind, then I can’t help unless I use witchcraft or turn you into a vampire. But if it’s just blurry vision, I know how to fix that.”

Tsuki jolted. **_‘Turn me into…’_**

“I…I!” Tsuki started. “I…have bl-blurry vi-vision anyway.”

**_‘So you don’t need to turn me into a monster.’_ **

Izaya stared at him for a moment then chuckled. “Really?”

Tsuki nodded. “I can-can’t see ver-very far. Ne-neither can Delic-Nii or Tsu-Tsugaru-Nii. We-we were told it was pro-probably be-because of how we were bo-born.”

“Oh? I’m assuming your parents don’t have blond hair and red eyes?”

Tsuki shook his head. “Uh-Actually, I’m th-the only one w-with red eyes. D-Delic-nii has p-pink eyes an-and Tsugaru-nii’s are bl-blue.”

“Oh? So, you’re a rabbit, this Delic is a rat, and Tsugaru is a dog.”

“Hm?” Tsuki tilted his head in confusion. “Wh-what do you—”

“Well, you’re disorder. The reason you look the way you look. It’s called Albinism. You may have never seen an albino rabbit but maybe you’ve seen a white rabbit. They have red eyes.”

“Y-yes.”

“Well, albino rabbits have pink eyelids, which makes their red eyes pop. That’s how you can tell a rabbit’s an albino instead of a white rabbit. Rabbits and owls are known for having blood red eyes when they’re affected by Albinism. Rats and mice tend to have pink eyes. And dogs and horses tend to have blue. It’s a bit unusual to see a human with red or pink eyes. Typically, they have blue.

“Although,” Izaya continued, “What’s even more unusual is that you are alive to the age you are. You and your brothers. Most children who are born with albinism are considered hellspawns. The church has partaken in brutal means to purify these infants. Some parents will even murder the child themselves so the church doesn’t find out they birthed a hellspawn.”

“Wh…” Tsuki’s eyes widened. He felt his form start to tremble. “Wh-what does the ch-church do?”

“Drown them.”

Tsuki felt his body turn cold.

“Some priests think that baptizing has more power than it does. Baptizing is merely protecting children from sin until they are old enough to understand sin.”

“Y-yes, I know. You g-get baptized when you’re-you’re born to be un-under God’s protection un-until your eighteenth year. Th-then you get baptized again by your own free choice to g-give yourself to God.”

“Yup, that’s right! But see, some priests believe that baptizing can work like an exorcism. Do you know what that is?”

Tsuki nodded. “It-it’s compelling a demon ou-out of a human bo-body.”

“That’s right. Then you know that baptizing and exorcism are not the same thing.”

Tsuki nodded.

“Well, some priests think that it can be the same thing. That if you keep a possessed individual under holy water, the demon will be compelled out.”

“T-th—but that’s not how th-that works!”

“I’m fully aware. But some priests are quite ignorant. And ignorant men who have power over the masses are very dangerous. These priests have been known to keep a baby under holy water. The idea is that the baby is a holy individual once color returns to their hair and eyes. So long as their hair is blond, they are still under the devils hold. So, the priests will keep them under the water until they change. Which, of course, the baby won’t change and so the baby just drowns.”

Tsuki looked up at Izaya in horror. “Ho-how could—a chi-child is an in-innocent. A baby can-cannot be born evil.”

“But doesn’t that defeat the purpose of the phrase ‘hellspawn’?”

“A-A hellspawn is a cr-creature born in hell! Bu-but a hu-human c-c-can’t be born a hell-hellspawn! Not on thi-this plane!”

“Didn’t you call Shizu-chan a hellspawn?”

“I-I didn’t…well, I g-guess I did.” Tsuki casted his eyes to the ground. “Bu-but werewolves are-aren’t hu-human. They co-could be hellspawns bu-but not—”

“Then is Rubi a hellspawn because he is a white-haired and pink-eyed man?”

“N-no, that’s no-not why he’s a hel-hellspawn.”

“So, because he’s a werewolf, he’s a hellspawn?”

“I…”

Tsuki’s brows furrowed—which hurt his injury. He clenched his teeth as tears threatened to spill. He rested his face into Izaya’s arm, hiding his face.

“I…don’t know anymore…”

“Oh? What do you mean?”

“I don’t know…if we-werewolves…Ro-Roppi-san sa-say’s that he was b-born that way. And Rubi-san sa-says the sam-same thing. I just…don’t know anymore…Ru-Rubi-san didn’t de-deserve what he went through as-as a child. N-nor did Roppi-san…I don’t know if they’re…hellspawns anymore…”

Izaya chuckled. He reached up and rubbed Tsuki’s hair. His thumb and index found a lock of Tsuki’s hair to twiddle with.

“The world’s not in shades of black and white anymore, huh?” Izaya asked. “The church was good and anything inhuman is bad. But now you question what’s what. Heh, that’s because the world isn’t that simple, Tsuki-chan. The world isn’t in black and white. Everything is in shades of gray. The church is a symbol of hope for some but to others a symbol of fear. Werewolves are beings of carnage, yet they are gentle and caring. This must be so confusing for you. You poor thing.”

Tsuki didn’t respond. He didn’t know how to respond to this condescending kindness. This kindness that was ripping Tsuki’s very world apart.

**_‘I want to go home. Everything made sense there. Nothing was this confusing.’_ **

“Neh, Tsuki-chan, are you okay?”

“No.”

Tsuki let out a heavy sigh and looked up at Izaya.

“But I’ll live.”

* * *

 

Tsuki lied in his extravagant bed, curled up under the thick blankets. He stared out the window. His gaze was glued to the bright quarter-moon. He registered that the moon had been full when Roppi stole him away. A full blood moon that was supposed to be symbolize his death. Tsuki had been gone for so long that the moon had shifted shape. How long had it been now?

**_‘Five days over the mountain. Two days here. It’s only been a week then. It feels like it’s been months, yet it doesn’t at the same time. I feel like I’ve been trapped for so much longer but at the same time, I just saw Delic-nii yesterday.’_ **

Tsuki felt the burning sensation of tears in his eyes. He quickly shook his head.

**_‘No no no. Don’t cry. It’ll be okay. Father Shizuo is going to take me home tomorrow. Most-likely. He might even bring Father Tom to see me. I should have asked him to bring Father Tom to see me if he’s there. It’d be nice to see a familiar face.’_ **

Tsuki sighed and rolled over on his side, facing the window. The moon illuminated the sky, not a cloud to be seen on the snowy scenery. The snow reflected the moonlight, making the dark night much brighter than it should be.

And with that brightness, Tsuki was able to see a figure take flight off the ground. Tsuki squinted his eyes—his undamaged eye—to try and make it out. It looked like a human figure with wings similar to a bat’s. A black cloak was billowing around the figure.

**_‘Izaya-san?’_ **

Tsuki heard his bedroom door open behind him. His eyes stretched wide before he sat up. He turned his head to look.

A hand grabbed Tsuki by the bottom half of his face. The grip was rough, and it hurt. Tsuki called out in surprise, the call muffled by this intruder’s palm. Tsuki was forced back against the mattress. The blond started to struggle, kicking his legs and trying to push the person off. The blanket lied over his torso and the intruders body lied over him. Tsuki’s right arm was thoroughly pinned between his body and the person on top of him with no way to claw the body thanks to the blanket. His left wrist was grabbed and pinned to the pillow.

“Do not scream or I’ll break your jaw.”

Tsuki’s whole body stiffened to the voice he instantly recognized as Hachimenroppi’s. He immediately began to tremble and felt tears leak from his eyes.

**_‘Izaya-san! Izaya-san, help!’_ **

Tsuki looked to the door, hoping someone would be coming by. He then looked out the window. The figure he had seen was nowhere in sight.

“Everyone’s sleeping.” Roppi said, looking out the window. “And Izaya just left to go eat. Heh, the only time he can eat is when Shizuo’s gone else he’ll get the shit kicked out of him.”

Roppi returned his attention to Tsuki. Under the light of the moon, Tsuki saw the full extent of the damage Shizuo had done to Hachimenroppi. Both of Roppi’s eyes were bruised a deep purple with raspberry gashes on both cheek bones. His lip was split and there was a gash over his nose. His left cheek was nothing more than a giant purple bruise.

“I’m going to remove my hand. If you scream, you know what’ll happened.”

Tsuki gave no confirmation he understood or not. Roppi waited a few seconds before he slowly raised his hand. Tsuki made no noise.

“Good.” Roppi leaned down and kissed Tsuki’s forehead. “You look like shit. I didn’t think I hit you that hard.”

“…Like you look any better…” Tsuki muttered.

“Heh, yeah.” Roppi leaned back up, looking down at Tsuki. “Shizuo did a number on me. Not that I didn’t deserve it.”

**_‘Eh?’_** Tsuki’s eyes widened.

Roppi reached his hand down. The hand that had adamantly bruised him earlier was poised to touch his face. Tsuki closed his eyes tight shut and flinched out of reflex.

The hand never touched him.

“I’m sorry.”

Tsuki’s eyes opened wide. The blond looked up at him.

“I wasn’t thinking straight earlier. I was angry and in pain and I blamed you. Not that it wasn’t your fault. You should apologize too. It’s because of you that I got bit by the lycan. You’re lucky you didn’t get bit. I’d have to kill you otherwise.”

Tsuki’s eyes narrowed. **_‘Like I’ll apologize.’_**

“But I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done what I did.”

Tsuki didn’t respond.

Roppi let out a sigh and sat up.

“Well, whatever. Get dressed.”

“Eh?”

Roppi pushed himself off the mattress and stood. “Get dressed. Now.”

“Wh-why?”

“Shizuo’s going to take you from me. We have to go now before he gets back.”

“N-n-no.”

Roppi’s eyes narrowed into a glare. “You don’t get a choice. Get dressed. Unless you want to walk through the woods naked.”

“I-I-I…”

“ _Now_ , Tsukishima.”

“I can-can’t wa-walk.”

Roppi’s glared at him with obvious skepticism. Tsuki flinched as tears streaked his cheeks.

“You-you-you dis-dis-dis—”

“Speak.”

“You di-di-di-disloca-cated my an-ankle ear-earlier. Tou-Toudai-san fi-f-f-f-fixed it bu-but I’m n-n-not su-supposed to put an-any pre-pressure on it.”

Roppi rolled his eyes as he scoffed. However, he didn’t verbally disagree with Tsuki. Instead, he turned around and went to the closet. Tsuki looked to the door.

**_‘I can try and run. But my ankle. I won’t make it to the door before he turns around. Should I call for help? Will he really break my jaw if I do? That could kill me, right? So maybe it’s just a bluff. He doesn’t want me to die—’_ **

While Tsuki was lost in thought, Roppi had grabbed the clothes out of the closet. The werewolf regained Tsuki’s attention by throwing the clothes at him. Tsuki flinched out of reflex.

“Get dressed. I’m not going to ask you again.”

Tsuki clenched his teeth.

**_‘Someone, please, help me. Izaya-san…’_ **

Tsuki grabbed the shirt.

“Undershirt first, stupid.”

“Eh?”

Roppi growled before walking over. He reached down and pulled out a black long sleeve turtle neck.

“Put that on first.” Roppi held it out to him.

Tsuki obeyed, pulling the shirt over his head. The fabric was tight and constricting. Claustrophobia started seeping into Tsuki’s being. His throat felt like he was being choked. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like it at all.

“I-I-I-I can-can’t.” Tsuki pulled on the fabric around his throat.

“Don’t do that. You’ll stretch it.”

“I can’t. I’m…choking.”

“You’re not choking. It’s not that tight.”

“I can’t! MM!” Roppi’s hand grabbed Tsuki’s face again.

“Yell again. I fucking dare you.”

Tsuki was breathing hard through his nose as he stared at Roppi with utter fear. His vision blurred as fresh tears slid down his face onto Roppi’s fingers.

Roppi let out an exasperated sigh. He then reached for Tsuki with his other hand.

“Nm! NM!” Tsuki grabbed Roppi’s wrist over his mouth to try and pull it off while he shook his head wildly.

“Would you stop?!”

Roppi forced Tsuki against the mattress.

Wild panic took hold of Tsuki. Honestly, the pressure on his throat wasn’t even enough to be counted as a discomfort. But the fact that it was there made it feel like he was being choked. As if what was on his throat was most-definitely going to become the painful sensation of air being cut from his lungs. He could breathe now but he wasn’t going to be able to soon. That was what his mind rationed. He was going to be strangled all from a flimsy piece of cloth.

That panic held Tsuki tight. He kicked and squirmed under Roppi. His nails dug into the bandages and the back of Roppi’s hand. Roppi growled.

**_‘Izaya-san! Izaya-san, why did you leave?! You were supposed to protect me! Father Shizuo said—’_ **

Roppi’s grip on Tsuki’s face tightened. The blonde’s body was lifted off the mattress.

**_‘Izaya—’_ **

And the next second, the back of his skull was slammed against the headboard of the bed. Tsuki’s eyes stretched wide before his vision blurred. Black seeped into the corner of his vision before that was all he saw.


	10. Chapter 10

Tsukishima groaned. A throbbing sensation was going up and down the base of Tsuki’s neck. He didn’t know what was wrong with his head, but he wanted to go back to sleep, hoping that when he next woke it would be gone.

So that’s exactly what Tsuki did.

The next time Tsuki woke, the throbbing was still there, but now his eyes hurt from oversleeping. His only choice, in his mind, was to go back to sleep.

Third time of Tsuki waking up, the sensations of pain had passed. His throat hurt due to dehydration, which meant he had to get up. He opened his eyes.

He saw a moving landscape of snow and trees. Tsuki’s eyes stretched wide. He was moving despite his legs not moving. The blond gasped and shot up.

“Woah!”

Roppi called out before he stepped back. Tsuki was being piggy-backed by the werewolf in human form and Tsuki’s jolt back had caused all their forward moment to go backwards. Tsuki’s arms flailed out as he lost balance. Roppi took multiple steps back before leaning forward. Tsuki grabbed those broad shoulders to stabilize himself. Roppi fell on one knee as Tsuki fell forward, slamming against his back. His injuries on his chest spasmed and he called out.

“OW!”

“You alright?”

“My-my stitches…”

“Are you bleeding?”

Tsuki shook his head. “I don-don’t think s-so.”

“Here, stand up.”

Tsuki obeyed. His bandaged foot immediately protested, and he called out for a different reason. He fell to his side as he grabbed his ankle.

“Ow, ow, ow!” Tsuki said through clenched teeth. Tears threatened to fall down his cheeks from the pain.

Roppi knelt down before Tsuki. “Are you okay?”

“It…it hurts.” Tsuki looked up at him. “M-my ankle.”

“Let me see.”

Roppi reached forward and touched Tsuki’s ankle.

“Ow…”

“Sorry. Just bear with it for now.”

Tsuki nodded.

Roppi gripped the injured appendage and set it in his lap. He pulled the tabi off Tsuki’s foot. Tsuki wished he didn’t as cold air touched his socked toes and the pressure on his ankle was gone, giving rise to more pain.

“Tell me if it hurts.” Roppi said.

“It-it already hu-hurts.”

“Cuz the pressure came off it?”

Tsuki nodded.

“Hm…See, we should put ice on it. Ice will help with any swelling, which it seems like it’s swollen. Here, take off your other shoe so I can do a comparison.”

“O-okay.”

Tsuki reached down and pulled off his other tabi. Roppi grabbed both feet and brought them side by side.

“Yeah, it’s swollen.” Roppi said. He then let out a heavy sigh. “Putting ice on it in the middle of winter will most-likely cause hypothermia on the limb. So, I’m thinking all we can do is keep pressure on it.”

**_‘Why did you take it off if you were going to come to the conclusion I already knew?’_**  Tsuki couldn’t stop the bubble of annoyance that began to rise in his chest.

“Alright.”

Roppi rubbed the swollen ankle.

“Ow!” Tsuki clenched his teeth. “Hu-hurting! You’re hurting m-me!”

“Calm down. I’m just seeing how loose the bandages are.”

“St-stop! J-j-j-j-just l-let me pu-put my shoe b-back on!”

Roppi glared at him. Then scoffed. “Fine.”

Roppi stood, letting Tsuki’s feet fall against the snow. “KYAH!”

Tsuki lifted his feet up before he grabbed the tabi’s.

**_‘You immature bastard!’_** Tsuki glared up at Hachimenroppi, who returned the glare tenfold. The blond cast his eyes to the side, the glare still prominent. **_‘Jerk.’_**

He slid his uninjured foot into the footwear. He grabbed the other one and pulled it up. He cringed in pain but pulled the tabi on nonetheless.

**_‘Ow…’_ **

With the task done, Tsuki let out a breath of relief.

He then pushed off the snow to stand, lifting his injured foot up off the ground.

Tsuki was surprised to feel that he hadn’t become soaked in the time he had been sitting. He looked down at his outfit. Although it looked no different, he realized from the sensation that he had two pairs of pants on. One was significantly tighter than the other. The outer layer had become wet, but he couldn’t feel it.

Tsuki then realized that he was still wearing the turtle neck that caused him panic last night. However, a button-up shirt sat over it. He was also wearing his scarf and his cloak. The last article of clothing he wore was gloves over his fingers.

The blond was surprisingly warm. However, his face was still cold. At least it had become cold in the time that he didn’t have it pressed to Roppi’s back.

It was quite obvious these were not the clothes Tsuki had tried to fall asleep in. Meaning, after Roppi had knocked Tsuki unconscious, he had dressed him. That thought caused Tsuki to clench his fists. The idea that Roppi had seen his naked body will never be something he’ll get used to. It still disturbed and disgusted him that this man had gazed upon his bare flesh. And the fact that he had been unconscious left a bubble of fear in his stomach. Fear that Roppi may have done anything to him while he was sleeping besides just dressing him.

But Tsuki could choke that down. That wasn’t important. No, it was important but since he couldn’t do anything about it, it wasn’t important at the moment. What was important was…

“W-wh-where are we?” Tsuki looked around himself.

He was in another snow-covered forest. If it was the one he had been in when the lycan attacked or another was completely lost to Tsuki. He couldn’t tell the difference.

“We’re about another days’ travel away from the port city.” Roppi said. “If we keep up the pace, we should get there by high-noon tomorrow.”

“Port city…” Tsuki looked at him. “P-port city?”

“Yeah. You know…a city where boats come in and out of the sea.”

“The sea? Wh-what’s that?”

“You’ve never heard of the sea?”

Tsuki shook his head.

“Well, it’s basically this giant expansion of water that stretches as far as the eye can see.”

“As far—really?” Tsuki’s eyes—eye—stretched wide. “Is-is there really wa-water that big?”

“Yeah—wait, do you know what an island is?”

“Um…I think it-it’s a patch of l-land in the mi-middle of a ri-river, right?”

“Kind of. It’s a patch of land in the middle of any body of water…You _do_ know that Japan is an island, don’t you?”

“Wa-wait, is that tr-true?”

Roppi just stared at him.

“Wh-what?”

“You’re adorable, you know that?”

Tsuki stiffened. “Um…”

“I should have expected that you’d be that naïve, considering you’ve never left that valley. Then I guess you’ve never seen a ship before, huh?”

“Ship?”

“Oh, it’s a giant boat with massive sails. They’re beautiful. You’ll see when we get to the port city.”

Roppi walked over to Tsuki, his shoes crunching the snow. Tsuki’s fists clenched but he made no move to run away from the smiling werewolf.

“I’ve never been to the see either.” Roppi said, a gentle smile planted on his face. “I’m happy both our first times will be experienced together.”

Tsuki didn’t answer. He only hugged himself just a tighter with his eyes staring at his feet.

“Do you wanna piggy-back or toddler lift?” Roppi asked.

“Eh?” Tsuki looked up at him.

“Piggy-back?” Roppi pointed to his back. “Or toddler lift?” Roppi made a seat with his arms in front of his body. “I’m thinking toddler lift is better, just cuz your feet will be warmer and less-likely to lose circulation. Although, you can tuck your feet under my butt.”

“Um…” Tsuki glanced down at the ground. “P-piggy-back…”

“Alright.”

Roppi turned around and knelt down with his back to Tsuki. Tsuki stared at him. He really didn’t want to be touched by this man nor touch this man. He wanted to get away from him. But even if Roppi couldn’t easily catch him, his hurt ankle wasn’t going to let him get very far. So Tsuki let out a heavy sigh of defeat and limped forward.

He pressed his torso to Roppi’s back and wrapped his arms around Roppi’s neck. Roppi hooked his feet under Tsuki’s thighs and stood. Once standing, Roppi hoisted Tsuki and tucked his hands under Tsuki’s rump. The blond gasped and tried to lift himself higher so Roppi wouldn’t touch. That action seemed to only help Roppi with his goal. He clasped his hands together, holding his owns wrists, to make a seat for Tsuki to sit on.

“Tuck your feet around my thighs,” Roppi said, “Like right under my butt. It’ll keep them warm.”

Tsuki didn’t want to. He was going to because he had to keep his feet warm, but he didn’t want to. Tsuki bent his foot to curl it around the appendage like Roppi ordered. However, he couldn’t do the same with his damaged foot. Rotating the ankle caused pain to flair in the inflamed wound.

“Ow…”

“Can you not—”

“N-no.”

Roppi sighed. “Alright.”

Roppi began to walk.

“What ha-happened to your du-duffle?” Tsuki asked.

“Hm?”

“W-well, I was ju-just thinking. You-you could have put the d-duffle under my r-rump to ma-make a seat in-instead of your ha-hands.” **_‘So then you wouldn’t be touching me.’_**

“Nah, that would cause the strap to dig into my shoulder. Your full weight would be supported by my one shoulder and that would hurt like a mother.”

“O-Oh…”

“As for where, I don’t really know what happened to it. I couldn’t find it in the manor before we left.”

Tsuki didn’t respond.

**_‘Izaya-san was supposed to protect me. I wasn’t supposed to be left alone in the manor. Why did Izaya-san leave like that?’_ **

Tsuki rested his head against his arm.

**_‘Maybe…maybe I_** should ** _have offered him some of my blood. If I had, then he wouldn’t have had to leave to get some while Father Shizuo was gone.’_**

Tsuki felt tears rise.

**_‘I was so close to going home. Why? I should have gone with Father Shizuo even if he said no. I should have convinced him to let me go with him.’_ **

His grip on Roppi tightened as soft sobs escaped his lips.

“Are you crying?” Roppi asked.

Tsuki didn’t respond.

**_‘I was a night away from going home! I was a night away from never seeing Hachimenroppi again! Why? Why did it turn out like this? Why were my prayers not answered, God?’_ **

Tsuki clenched his teeth.

**_‘God, please. I need Your help. I need Your guidance. I need strength and hope but I can’t do this. I need You, now more than ever. Please…’_ **

“Tsuki?”

“Roppi, stop!”

The two jolted as a powerful voice tore through the air. Roppi turned to see who it was while Tsuki lifted his head.

“Father Shizu…”

Tsuki’s words died when he saw who it actually was. A white-haired man with pink eyes was running up to them, followed closely by the doctor wearing a red-and-white poncho, the brunette in a pink haori, and a blond in black and white clothing.

“How the hell did you guys catch up so fast?” Roppi turned so that they would have to go through Roppi in order to get to Tsuki.

“Izaya returned from feeding to see you and Tsuki gone!” Rubi yelled. “It didn’t take a genius to figure what you did!”

As soon as Rubi was within reach, the white-haired man pulled his fist back. Roppi saw it coming. But with Tsukishima on his back, there was no way he could maneuver fast enough. Rubi punched him in the cheek hard.

Roppi fell back. Tsuki and Roppi fell into the snow. Roppi had twisted on his side so that he didn’t land on Tsuki—he was even so kind as to plant his elbow down before his body, so he didn’t crush Tsuki’s hurt foot. Tsuki pulled his limb out from under Roppi and scrambled back.

Rubi rushed over and grabbed Tsuki under his shoulders. The blond gasped as he was lifted off the ground like a child. Rubi turned around with Tsuki pressed to his chest.

“Hey!” Roppi grabbed Rubi’s ankle.

 Tsuki fell back into the snow with Rubi on top of him this time. The white-haired man had a similar desire not to crush Tsuki, so he put his hands into the snow to prop his body above Tsuki’s.

“Motherfucker, what the hell are you doing?!” Roppi yelled, before tugging Rubi by his ankle. “Get off of him!”

Rubi was pulled off of Tsuki. A pair of hands then touched the blonds shoulder. He looked up to see it was Toudai. He put his hands under Tsuki’s shoulders and pulled him back. The doctor struggled to move Tsuki, who was just as big if not bigger than the petite man. Tsuki reached up and grabbed Toudai’s arms, using the limb to pull himself to his feet. Toudai assisted in the act then maneuvered around Tsuki so he was standing in between him and Hachimenroppi.

Roppi wasn’t paying attention to them as he and Rubi were wrestling in the snow. Roppi was trying to get on top of Rubi, while Rubi was trying to get on top of him, so the two had their hands locked in a grapple while they rolled over and over.

“Stop it!” Toudai yelled. “Get off of Rubi!”

“Tell him to get off of me,” Roppi said from under Rubi, “you _fuck_!”

Roppi swung his foot up hard and fast, his knee slamming into Rubi’s ribs. The albino man gasped loudly as saliva flew from his mouth. Roppi then used his other leg to kick Rubi in the side—in the ribs again—and kicked the white wolf off of him. The black wolf pushed himself to his feet.

“Assholes!” Roppi glared at Rubi, then glared up at Toudai. “The fuck are you doing?!”

“We’re taking Tsuki-kun back to Orihara-san’s manor!” The doctor yelled, glaring at Roppi.

“Like hell you are!” Roppi rushed forward.

Toudai stood his ground. Tsuki stared at the doctor wide-eyed. **_‘He’s so brave!’_**

“Don’t you dare!” Rubi grabbed Roppi’s wrists, pulling the enraged wolf back.

“You’re not taking Tsuki from me!”

“We’re taking this boy back home!” Toudai yelled.

“You’re sending him to his death!”

“He’s safer there than with you!”

“You motherfuc—”

“ROPPI, DON’T YOU DARE!” Rubi tugged Roppi hard. “If you touch Toudai, I’ll fuck you up worse than Shizuo did, you hear me?!”

“Yeah, sure, Rubi! Nice to see you found a replacement for me! You think you could have chosen someone who didn’t look more like me?!”

“Shu—I didn’t replace you! We weren’t—”

“Yeah, you’re righ,t we weren’t a thing! You just enjoyed fucking my ass every other night!”

“That’s because of you—”

“Yup, it was because of me! Totally all me! The fact that you got hard means you had no part of it, right?!”

“You know what, that doesn’t fucking matter right now! You and I can settle our differences later, if that’s what you want! But we’re taking Tsuki back!”

“You can’t! The boat leaves tomorrow with the next tide! We’ve lost too much time while staying at Izaya’s! If you take Tsuki back to Izaya’s, you’ll miss the ship!”

“There will be another ship!”

“Another one before your white rabbit ass is seen by the holy order?! Yeah, fucking right!”

“I’ll figure it out!”

“We’ll figure it out!” Toudai yelled at the same time as Rubi.

“You’re going to Taiwan with Shitsuo and Sakuraya!” Rubi continued. “Toudai and I will take Tsuki back to Izaya’s place!”

“No! I’m not leaving Tsuki!”

“You are!”

“I’m _not_!” Roppi pulled his arm out of Rubi’s hold. “I’m not leaving him, and you can’t fucking stop me!”

“You can’t stay here! You’ll be hunted!”

“More so than you?! At least I have black hair!”

“Everyone will think you’re a vampire with your red eyes!”

“Everyone will think Tsuki’s a vampire! I can’t leave him to fend for himself!”

“We’ll protect him!” Toudai yelled.

“Like someone like you can protect anyone!” Roppi glared death at the doctor.

“We’ll figure it out! We always do!”

“We’re taking Tsuki back, Roppi!” Rubi yelled. “You can’t stop us!”

“Wait, no! Rubi! Listen to me!” A desperate expression crossed Roppi’s face as he grabbed Rubi’s arm. “You can’t separate us! Not now! Not after everything!”

“What everything?! You’ve only really known each other for a week!”

“Do you think I would risk my life for just anyone? I fought against a fucking lycan for him! Do you think I’m like that with everyone? You can’t take him from me! Not now! Not when we’re so close to safety!”

“Tsukishima is not safe with you!”

“He’s safer with me than with a town flooded with the holy order! And definitely safer than with a half-starved vampire!”

“And he’s supposed to be safe with a rapist?!”

“Like I said, this is only temporary! I’m only rough with him when he doesn’t comply. The rest of the time I’m kind and loving to him. We won’t be like this for much longer. Once Tsuki gets used to me, it’ll be fine!”

“What the fuck do you mean ‘get used’ to you?! You expect him to develop Stockholm Syndrome and everything will be okay?! How can you—”

“No! it’s not like that!”

“How do you expect him to love you when you beat him?!”

“That was a one-time thing! It won’t happen again!”

“Like every abuser hasn’t said that before!”

“No, Rubi, you don’t understand!”

“I don’t want to understand! Whatever logic you can come up with to justify dislocating your ‘loved one’s’ ankle is not something I want to understand!”

“Rubi, please! I can’t live without him!”

“You lived without him up to this point! You will be fine!”

“No! Now that I have him, life without him is meaningless!”

“Roppi—”

“Without Tsukishima, I have no reason to live anymore!”

Rubi’s eyes stretched wide.

“You coward!” Toudai screamed. “Using suicide as a bartering chip to keep Tsuki in captivity! Why is your life more important than Tsukishima’s?!”

“Tsukishima’s the only reason I held on as long as I did!” Roppi didn’t look at Toudai. Didn’t acknowledge him at all. His eyes were still on Rubi, his expression growing more and more desperate by the minute. “It was meeting Tsuki all those years ago that saved my life! That day I went down to the river, I realized I could kill myself! Ryu wouldn’t be able to stop me! I couldn’t do it that day! I realized too late that that was a possibility, so I planned to take my catch back and then the next day, instead of fishing I would drown myself. But then Tsuki…He didn’t even do much! But if it wasn’t for Tsukishima, I wouldn’t be here!”

Roppi put the palms of his hands over his eyes.

“I held on for as long as I did because Tsuki and I made a promise! One day, I’d see him again! That’s what I told myself every _fucking **day**_! It’s the _only_ reason I didn’t give up! Seeing Tsuki was the only hope I had! And you!”

Roppi turned on Toudai. The doctor flinched but his feet stayed planted and his glare didn’t abate.

“You want to take him from me! He’s all I have, and you want to strip him from me!”

“Tsukishima can’t save you! You have to help yourself before anyone can even begin to help you!”

“Then what the fuck is the point of help?!”

“What you expect from Tsuki isn’t within his ability! You hope ‘loving’ him will magically heal you of your trauma! Suddenly the nightmares will stop! The anxiety, the paranoia, the depression that claws at you all day every day and can get so bad, you feel like you’re drowning! I’m telling you from experience, it won’t work! Instead of ignoring your trauma, you should have acknowledged it! Faced it head on and rose above it!”

“What the fuck do you know about me to tell me how to handle my—I’m not even traumatized!”

“That is a lie! Rubi informed all of us of your ‘relationship’ with your father!”

Roppi’s eyes stretched wide for a split second. Then they filled with a boiling rage as he turned his head to look at Rubi.

“Tsuki had a right to know.” Rubi said almost sheepishly.

An unhuman growl echoed in Roppi’s throat.

“Roppi, I’m telling you,” Toudai continued, his tone becoming much softer. Almost caring. “Tsukishima cannot help you. He may have given you the hope to continue living but that was the only part he should have played in your rehabilitation. He can’t do anything more for you than he has. It’s time to let him go, Roppi-kun. Let Tsukishima go home.”

“I…”

Roppi looked at Toudai. His expression contorted so quickly in the span of five seconds. First it was a glare, then it was sorrow, then remorse, and finally blank. He looked at Tsuki. The blond jolted, holding Toudai’s arm with shaking hands and tear-filled eyes.

Roppi’s eyes narrowed. He shook his head. “I can’t lose him! You don’t understand anything!”

Toudai’s soft, gentle features turned into an expression of droll disinterest. “Well, whether I understand or not changes nothing. Tsuki’s going home and you can’t stop us.”

“No, you can’t!”

“Roppi, it’s happening!” Rubi yelled. “It’s what Tsuki wants!”

“But…!” Roppi looked to Rubi. “But…!” He looked to Toudai. “I…!” He looked to Tsuki.

The raven then closed his eyes tight shut. His teeth clenched, and his fists came up by his head in a display of frustration.

“Then I’ll take him back!”

Rubi’s eyes widened. “Wha—”

“I’ll take Tsukishima home!” Roppi looked back at Rubi. “That way, none of you will have to stay here. You can all get on the ship for Taiwan. I’ll take Tsuki back to Izaya’s place then once we get the go ahead, I’ll take him back over the mountain.”

“You cannot expect us to believe you’ll take Tsuki home, safely!” Toudai called. “You’ll more than likely run off to lock him away in a remote cave.”

“If I say I’m going to do something then I’ll do it!”

“Your word means nothing!”

“Roppi, you can’t go back there!” Rubi yelled. “Even if the holy order leaves, the people of that village will rise against you! If Tsuki tells any of them of the journey he has had so far, then you’ll be exposed. They’ll come during the day and butcher you alive.”

“I’ll be alright.”

“No, you won’t!”

“I can’t live without him! Why is that so hard to understand?! If he has to go back to the damnable rath then I’ll take him back! If I die there, then so be it! I don’t care, so long as I have Tsuki!”

“You’ll lose Tsuki if you die!”

“No, Tsuki will lose me. I can die happy knowing he’s safe.”

“You coward!” Toudai screamed.

Rubi didn’t respond. He was glaring down at the ground. His legs were shaking. Tsuki could barely make that out from this distance. A growl rose in the white wolf’s throat as he clenched his teeth. He looked at Sakuraya, then Shitsuo, then Toudai, Tsuki, and finally Roppi.

Then he sighed. His shoulders slackened noticeably, and defeat crossed his face.

“We’re going to Taiwan.”

“Rubi, I can’t leave—”

“We’re _all_ going to Taiwan.”

Tsuki felt his whole body go cold as his eyes widened. Everyone’s eyes widened to match Tsuki’s, staring at Rubi with utter shock.

“Ru—” Toudai started.

“NO!” Tsuki screamed, backing away from Toudai and hugging himself tightly. “Yo-you can’t do this!”

“Tsuki!” Roppi ran over, pushing Toudai out of the way.

“No! No no no no!” Tsuki shook his head with every word.

“Tsuki, shoosh, shoosh!” Roppi put his hands on Tsuki’s cheeks to stop his wild movement. Tsuki’s eyes were pools of tears as he stared at Roppi in horror. “It’s okay! It’ll be okay!”

Tsuki couldn’t believe this was happening. This couldn’t be happening. This had to be some sick, twisted dream that he couldn’t wake up from.

**_‘Delic-nii! Tsugaru-nii! Someone, please! Wake me up!’_ **

Tsuki lost all strength in his limbs. He fell to his knees and buried his hands in the snow. The cold didn’t touch him. The soft of the clothes didn’t touch him. Every part of him was going numb, expect for his emotions. Horror, disgust, hatred, sorrow, helplessness, and bitterness were gripping hold of his mind and forcing him down into a black hole of despair.

“What-what did I do to de-deserve this?” Tsuki found himself asking. “Wh-what have I done?”

“Tsukishima…”

Tsuki saw Roppi kneel before him. He saw him wrap his arms around the blond. But he couldn’t register that any of this was him. He couldn’t believe any of what this blond boy with red eyes had gone through had happened to him. He was no longer in the body of this beaten and sad Tsukishima. He was instead outside, as if watching from a third eye view with his mind. Detaching himself from this reality in the favor of saving his sanity.

“Listen, it’ll be okay, Tsukishima.” Roppi started. “I know. I know this is going to be rough for you. I’ve know from the beginning. But don’t worry. I love you. I love you more than anything!”

“I DON’T LOVE YOU!”

“I know.” Roppi squeezed him tighter. “I know you don’t. But it’s like I said. I promise I’d make you happy. And I will. You’ll come to love me with time. All we need is more time.”

Tsuki couldn’t believe how deranged this man was. How could he spew that love crap when he rapes him? How could he claim time will fix this when the injuries to his face may never heal? How could he expect Tsuki to debase himself to the point that he would love a bastard like him?

He hated these expectations. He hated the promises, the sentences, the very words! He hated the smell of this man. He hated that his man was within his eye sight. He hated the sound of his voice and the touch of his hands. He hated everything. Everything, everything, everything!

Tsukishima screamed. It was all he could think to do to keep himself from disappearing down that dark hole that was clawing at his very soul. It was the only thing that could push him out of insanity. He screamed and cried and even punched Roppi in the sides over and over. He screamed until his voice was gone. He punched until his hands went numb. He cried until his eyes went dry.

And once it was all said and done, Tsuki was exhausted. He was beyond exhausted. He was drained. There was no vitality left for him to try and salvage. No last pump of adrenaline to keep him going. He was empty. And that emptiness beckoned him to the best sleep he’s had since this wretched journey started.

* * *

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**So, if I haven’t stated this already then this is a good of a time to drop it. This fic pulls very few stops.**

**I have a deep attraction to Psychology. As disturbing as this may sound, the attraction was sparked by Orihara Izaya, a fictional character. I’ve been writing dark, emotionally investing (for me at least) stories like this since I was 13/14 years old.  If I make myself cry with the characters who are crying, then I’m doing something right, is my reasoning. So, I’ve been honing and practicing this mindset since I was a preteen. And honestly, it helps me understand these characters more. Helps me figure out how they respond and react.**

**Cuz honestly, in absolute all honest opinion, I have no idea why Roppi is doing what he’s doing in this story. I haven’t written from Roppi’s point of view, so I’m just as confused as Tsuki is about most of Roppi’s reasoning. I, of course, have an idea of the answer, but I don’t have the full picture, either. It’s stated that he projecting, that he’s trying to deal with his trauma in the wrong way, but it makes absolutely no sense to me (the fucking _writer_ ) how Roppi can ignore all forms of morale conventions and be the stubborn bastard that he is being. Maybe it’s because the point of the story is him not letting Tsuki go, maybe it’s because Roppi truly can’t lose Tsuki else he’ll die. I don’t know. At this point, all I know is that if Roppi loses Tsuki, it’s the end of Roppi’s story, and thus the end of this story.**

**It’s weird and it may sound ludicrous or like I’m full of it, but when characters get to a point where they start writing themselves, it is by far the best accomplishment I have ever felt. I love it when I write a story, and certain scenes of just pure agony and sorrow get to me. If the character cries and I don’t start crying, I’m not putting enough heart into the written word. If he’s angry and I’m not, then I need more emotions. If reading these two characters having a yelling match doesn’t get me shaking (because angry, yelling men give me anxiety) then I’m not doing it right.**

**It’s fucked up and it gives rise to fucked up stories but it’s my reasoning. I’m the type of writer that writes stuff I want to read. And I want to read psychological ‘thrillers’ (if this story can be considered as that) so until I see more of those kind of tales, I’ll continue to write them for the rest of the world.**

**That’s honestly my biggest motivation. I reread my stories, get to the part where I had last stopped and just go, “Fuck, I gotta write more!” As narcissistic as it may sound, I enjoy reading my own work, and it’s because I enjoy it that I want to keep writing it.**

**But yes, just know that this story will have barely any censorship. The rape scenes will most-likely be in full detail, the gore will be in full detail, and the turmoil will be in full detail.**

**The only thing that I absolutely refuse to full detail is the child abuse. Implying or explaining from a third person is more than enough. There doesn’t need to be full details. That is a definite topic I will censor.**

**Of course, there is the concept of just cropping the child abuse out completely. And I ask: Why? These characters are shaped the way they are shaped because of their background. Sure as shit, if Roppi was just arbitrarily crazy and enjoyed the suffering of others, he’d be no different than H.H.Holmes and Jack the Ripper. As interesting as serial killers, sociopaths, and psychopaths are, there is no sympathy for them and thus, no mercy. Without mercy, there’d be no reason for anyone to go along with Roppi’s desires. Meaning there has to be sympathy. Meaning there has to be something to sympathize with.**

**And, well, like it or not, child abuse is an everyday common occurrence. To crop it out of a story just because certain readers are upset with it, makes it feel like I’m being demanded to hide it, that I’m being demanded to hide that child abuse is an evil of this world. And that feels inappropriate. Maybe my viewpoint is flawed, but in my opinion, to say that every person in every story has a perfect, cookie-cut, apple pie childhood is wrong. I’m not saying that people need to have tragic backstories to be interesting individuals, but no one has a perfect life. And if someone says they do, they show signs of very deep character defects. Perfection is a lie, so to have a story with perfect characters give rise to a boring story and a lack of realism behind the story. (In my opinion). Not every writer has to have a character that was abused as a child but to expect every writer to write a character without a dark background is wrong. And again, child abuse is a very common occurrence in our world. To say otherwise, to demand that one remove a character’s background because it has that kind of stigma behind it, is inappropriate and the statement from a fool’s world.**

**I apologize for ranting so much. I’m not sure how I started with ‘no stops’ and ended up with ‘child abuse’, but I won’t question it too much.**

**Just know, readers, that this story only gets worse as Tsuki tries to hold on to hope in a hopeless situation. If you’re already getting knots in your stomach from what you’ve read so far, then I heavily _heavily_ urge you to stop reading. I know I put ‘reader’s discretion advised’ in my summary but I feel like I should reiterate the point. My stories on AO3 that do not also get posted on FF are very dark and probably fucked up. That’s why they’re here, because I know that there will be a lot of people on FF that will not like my work. A good number of the stories I do have on FF were put into a ‘reportable offense’ community and one was even deleted (although the deleted work was far tamer than anything else I’d written. It was deleted due to a particular reader who didn’t like me. She was anonymous and didn’t like my style. Called her out and the next story I posted got removed from FF. So *le shrug* *le shrug*). So AO3 is where my R18 gone dark, gone weird, gone bad will be posted, where I have free writer’s expression.**

**Again, sorry for the rant. Thank you for reading thus far. Kudos, comment, all that junk that people ask. I hope some will stay with me on this wretched journey.**

**KCK**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW's, does anyone know of another site besides tumblr where I can post fanbooks? I had a few drawn up, am working on translating official/unofficial doujins, but I've got no where to post them now that tumblr's taken the piss. If anyone knows of any art blog sites that aren't obscure as all hell, I would appreciate a link.  
> Thank you.  
> KCK


	11. Chapter 11

 

“Rubi, we’re not really going to Taiwan, are we?”

Tsuki heard the voices but he didn’t have the energy or drive to open his eyes to see who was speaking.

“That was just a ruse, right? To get Roppi to calm down. Once he falls asleep, we’re going to take Tsuki back.”

“No. We’re going to Taiwan.”

“Rubi, we can’t! What about Tsuki?”

“We’ll figure something out, Toudai. But I can’t let Roppi kill himself for some kid I don’t know.”

“It doesn’t matter if we know him or not! He’s in danger! He has his rights, Rubi!”

“My answer’s stays the same.”

“Rubi—”

“Toudai, I can’t let Roppi kill himself.”

“We won’t let him kill himself.”

“You don’t know Roppi like I do. Once he says he’ll do something, he’ll do it. He’s not the type to bluff.”

“And if he is?”

“He isn’t. It’s not within his character.”

“You’ve said kidnapping and raping wasn’t within his character. Why is this an exception?”

“Toudai. I can’t.”

“…Rubi, I understand. He’s the only family you have left, but that doesn’t mean we can justify his actions and be enablers to his villainy!”

“I’m not justifying…”

“But you are enabling!”

“What do you want me to do, Toudai?”

“Make Roppi get on the ship to Taiwan. Then take Tsuki home.”

“Roppi will come back. He’ll follow him. Or he’ll kill himself on the voyage over.”

“Shitsuo-san can make sure that doesn’t happen.”

“Um…I mean…I can…I can try but Hachi-san is much stronger than I. Wh-what’s more, I won’t be able to watch him twenty-four seven. I’ll fall asleep and when I do…”

“I…I know Hachimen-san well enough to know that he’s very determined. Rubi was right when he said he doesn’t bluff. Roppi won’t stop. Not until he returns to Tsuki or ends his life.”

“But—”

“Ssshh! Roppi’s coming back.”

The group fell silent.

Within a minute of the statement, shoes crunched in the snow.

“I got the firewood.”

“Thanks, Roppi.”

“How much food did you guys bring?”

“We have enough to last us for tonight. If we bring anymore, it will most-likely sour by the time we make it to Taiwan.”

“How much money do we have?”

“…Well, with Tsukishima’s voyage fee to take into account, we’ll only have three silver pieces left over.”

“Only three?”

“We would have 43.”

“…Hm. Well, here. We can use this.”

“That’s—!”

“This should be worth something. There should be an appraiser in the port city.”

“That’s your mother’s brooch!”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine. You should keep it for sentimental value!”

“We can’t eat sentimental value. We don’t know the layout of Taiwan. Hunting’s going to be tough when we first get there.”

“We don’t even know if Taiwan accepts Japanese currency!”

“Considering we have trade routes with them, I’m sure they will. Or they’ll at least have some place we can go to convert it to Taiwanese.”

“But that’s all you have left of your mother! You shouldn’t—”

“It’s fine, Rubi. I don’t even remember what she looks like.”

“All the reason more you shouldn’t—”

“I said it’s fine.” A growl rumbled in Roppi voice.

The snow crunched, coming close to Tsukishima. He stiffened to try to keep himself from flinching.

“Tsuki, wake up.” Roppi put a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m-I’m n-not asleep…” Tsuki muttered. His voice was hoarse, and his throat hurt.

“…How long have you been awake?”

“A while.”

“Well, here, want some water?”

Tsuki said nothing. The blond let out a heavy sigh before sitting up. He held the fur pelt to keep it from falling off him. The night sky greeted Tsuki’s eyes. A small campfire sat a few feet away, Rubi and Toudai sitting on the other side of it. Sakuraya and Shitsuo were on the left side of it. And Roppi stood before Tsuki, holding out the water sack.

Tsuki took it, opened the pouch of water and put it to his lips. Not much reached his lips and he had to tilt his head back and the jug in order to get a decent amount.

“Is it empty?”

Tsuki tilted his head down and put the cork back into the jug. “S-sorry.”

“It’s fine. I have another one. This one’s full. It’s a little warm though.”

Tsuki cocked a brow.

“Have you never melted snow to make water?”

“N-no. W-we had a we-well.”

“It didn’t freeze during the winter?”

“N-no. it u-usually fil-filled up more b-because of th-the snow.”

“That’s not safe, you know. You could get dysentery.”

Tsuki didn’t know what that was. It showed on his face.

“Dysentery is where you drink unclean water. The most common problem is diarrhea but in extreme cases, it can kill you.”

Tsuki stared at him with skepticism. “Th-that’s never happened before.”

“Your well probably has natural salt minerals in it to filter out any gunk. But the snow may not get filtered.”

Tsuki rolled his eyes. He didn’t really care for an explanation on things that Roppi didn’t know. He’d never been to the village so who was he to tell him how their well worked?

“…Well, anyway, we boil snow to melt it and burn off any bacteria. That’s why it’s warm.”

Roppi held the pouch out to him. Tsuki stared at him before reaching out for it. He grabbed it and held the empty one to Roppi. The deranged man took it. Tsuki could feel the heat through the flesh of the sack. He decided to ignore it as he pulled the cork out and took a drink. The water warmed his whole torso on the way down to his stomach.

He put the cork back in and held it out to Roppi. Roppi took it.

“Are you hungry?”

“No.”

“You should eat anyway. You haven’t eaten all day.”

“I’m n-not hungry.”

“You need to eat.”

“I’m. Not. Hungry.” Tsuki glared at him.

Roppi glared back. Tsuki clenched his fists as fear gripped him. Was Roppi going to hit him for his attitude?

Roppi let out a heavy sigh before sitting down next to Tsuki.

“Whatever. You’ll eat when you get hungry enough.”

Tsuki scoffed and turned his head away, resting his head on his knees.

“How you feeling?” Roppi asked.

“Like shit.”

Roppi whipped his head to look at Tsuki wide-eyed. Tsuki heard him move but didn’t care enough to look at him.

“My h-head hurts. My ankle h-hurts. M-my eyes hurt. My thro-throat hurts.”

“…Anything else.”

“Ignor-oring emotional pain?”

“…Well, yeah.”

“…My-my stitches hurt.”

“Ah. We need to keep you warm then. The less you shiver the better.”

“Did any tear out, Tsukishima?” Toudai asked.

Roppi glared at him. Tsuki glanced at Roppi before gazing at Toudai. His brow furrowed. He didn’t want to make Toudai a target of Roppi’s rage. The blond rested his head on his knees.

“N-no. Not sin-since last time.”

“May I check them?”

“No.” Roppi growled, putting his arm over Tsuki and pulling the blond close. Tsuki’s eyes widened and he stiffened. “Checking requires stripping. Stripping will make him shiver, which will pull the stitches out.”

Toudai glowered at him. “If his stitches are torn anyway, it won’t matter. And since your last assault on him, a few have already been torn. I managed to put in new ones but if these ones pull out, there’s no stitching it back up.”

“All the more reason why you shouldn’t check.”

Toudai glared. Roppi glared back.

**_‘Toudai-san isn’t scared of Roppi-san at all, is he? Is he really just a human?’_ **

Toudai let out an exasperated sigh. “What of your injuries, Roppi-san? Had Shizuo-san pulled them out?”

“Course he did. But I’m fine. I’ve got them wrapped.”

“How many stitches were torn?”

“…Why do you care?”

“Because you are injured.”

“And why is that your concern? You obviously don’t like me.”

“Whether I like you or not is irrelevant. As a doctor, I can’t let you suffer needlessly.”

“If you don’t like me, I would assume you’d want me dead.”

“To wish death on anyone would go against my vows. I don’t like you. You’re a vile man who will be getting his comeuppance eventually. However, if I had a choice to save you or let you die, I would try to save you.” Toudai’s eyes narrowed. “Now I ask again. How many stitches were torn?”

Roppi’s glare was laced with confusion. He then glanced to the side, looking slightly uncomfortable. “I don’t know. Like three on my neck, a lot on my back, a few on my arms. I don’t know if whoever stitched me up did my face but as you can see there’s none there now.”

“I was the one, and I had stitched your face. Your lacerations were quite deep and surrounded your eye. If they were to get infection, your eye would be in danger as well.”

“I’ll be fine. I put disinfectant on it. Izaya’s medicine is far more advanced than the rest of the world’s.”

“I had noticed. I would have liked to take lessons from him.”

“You wouldn’t have had enough time without missing the boat.”

“His notes, sir. I wanted to read his notes. But we left in such a rush last night, I didn’t get time to ask.”

Roppi glared at him. “Well, ain’t that a bitch?”

“Yeah. Fuck you.”

Roppi’s eyes widened with rage. “You’ve got some balls on you. You should think a bit before you speak to a werewolf like that.”

“Do you expect me to fear you? That’s laughable.”

Roppi growled, his lip pulling back in a snarl. “You’re acting big and bad because Rubi’s your lover. Keep it up and he won’t be able to protect.”

“I don’t expect Rubi to protect me, but I appreciate the warning.”

“You—!” Roppi went to lung forward.

“No!” Tsuki grabbed his sleeve, holding the fabric tight.

Roppi glared down at him.

Fear gripped Tsuki tight, forcing him to close his eyes. He was going to get hit. He knew he was, but he couldn’t let Toudai feel Roppi’s wrath.

“D-d-d-don’t!” Tsuki shook his head. “Don’t! Please.”

There was a tense silence for less than five seconds. Then Tsuki felt lips on his forehead. “Don’t cry. You’ll trigger your asthma.”

Tsuki opened his eyes as Roppi reached up and placed his hand on Tsuki’s cheek. The blond flinched, expecting the worse. However, Roppi did nothing violent and instead rubbed his thumb under Tsuki’s eye to get away the tears that threatened to spill.

“You’re alright. Calm down, okay?”

Tsuki clenched his fists before nodding. Roppi pulled his hand away, letting out a heavy sigh. Roppi put his hands over his face, rubbing them up and down his bruised and torn skin. Tsuki doesn’t know why he was doing that, considering how much that must hurt. Roppi let out a heavy sigh.

“…Doesn’t t-that hurt?” Tsuki asked.

“Yup.” Roppi pulled his hands away. “Are you sure you’re not hungry?”

Tsuki stared at him. He wasn’t bleeding, surprisingly. Tsuki shook his head. Roppi propped his elbow on his knee then pressed his fist to his forehead.

“I guess it doesn’t matter about keeping your strength up. With that ankle, I have to carry you anyway.”

Roppi then looked over at Toudai.

“I’m fine, just so you know. I don’t want your help.”

“That is fine.”

Roppi cocked a brow. “You made a point to tell me you have to help then you back off immediately?”

“If you do not want my help then there is nothing I can do. Attempting to force treatment on a patient goes against my vows.”

“Then if your patient is unconscious, you won’t touch them?”

“If they are unconscious then consent does not matter. They can deny once they wake, but while they are asleep, it would be inappropriate of me to do nothing.”

“You’re a hypocrite.”

“I’m a lot of things.”

Roppi glowered at him. Then looked away, resting his wrist against his mouth. “Hm.”

Tsuki look at Rubi. The two made eye contact. Rubi stared at him for a moment then adverted his eyes as guilt crossed his features.

 ** _‘It wasn’t a ruse, huh?’_** Tsuki let out a heavy sigh. **_‘I didn’t think it was to begin with. But how…how could he let this go on? What have I done to deserve such malice from him?’_**

Tsuki lied down.

“You shouldn’t go to sleep.” Roppi said. “You’ve gotten more than twelve hours of sleep today.”

Tsuki didn’t answer. **_‘Sleeping is better than being here.’_**

“Tsuki.” Roppi shook Tsuki’s shoulder. “Don’t go to sleep.”

“Go away, please.”

Roppi shook him again. “Don’t go to sleep.”

“Leave me alone, please.”

“Tsuki.”

“Would you just—!” Tsuki swung his arm out, batting Roppi’s hand away.

Roppi glared at him. Tsuki glared back.

“If-if I’m stuck with you f-for the rest of-of my life, then you-you can at least g-give me five minutes alone.”

“Don’t go to sleep.”

Tsuki brought his fists up to his shoulders in exasperated frustration. He clenched his teeth and closed his eyes tight shut. Tsuki’s entire body went lax as he let out a heavy sigh.

Tsuki pushed himself to his feet. He couldn’t stand to be around Roppi for another minute. He needed some alone time, desperately. Tsuki turned towards the darkness of the woods.

“Oi, where are you going?” Roppi grabbed the end of the pelt.

“Nature calls.” Tsuki lied, pulling the pelt out of the werewolf’s grip. **_‘Just leave me alone. For five minutes, at least.’_**

“You shouldn’t go alone.” Roppi stood. “There could be another lycan lurking in the forest.”

“I’m n-n-not going far.”

“You shouldn’t pee or other close to the campsite. It’ll attract animals.”

“You di-didn’t have a problem with it b-before.”

“That was when we could bury it. The snows hardened since then, so we can’t. At least not well. You need to go farther away than you’ve done so in the past.”

**_‘Why can’t this monster give me just five minutes?’_ **

“If it makes you feel better, it’s not like I’m going to watch you take a shit.”

Tsuki let out a heavy sigh and rubbed a hand through his blond locks. “Fine. J-just, do me a favor.”

“What?”

“Don’t talk. At all.”

“…Okay.”

Roppi looked at Rubi, walking over to him. Rubi help up a small leather bag. Tsuki recognized it as the bag Roppi usually used for bodily waste affairs. It had a small hand shovel and parchments for wiping. Roppi took it from him and rest if over his shoulder. Tsuki glowered at Rubi before turning around and limping into the forest. Roppi followed right behind him.

Tsuki stared at the ground, keeping an eye on where he was walking. His feet sunk into the powder-like snow.

**_‘The snow didn’t harden, you liar. You just don’t want to leave me alone.’_ **

Tsuki didn’t stop walking. He ignored the pain in his ankle to the best of his capability. He kept going and tried to quell his growing hatred.

**_‘I can’t believe this. Father Shizuo knows I’m gone by now. Will he come for me?’_ **

Tsuki let out another sigh.

**_‘Even if he does, he may not reach us in time. If we’re going on a boat, he won’t be able to follow us once we cross this sea. The land we make port could be miles away from where Father Shizuo may land. And after that, he would have to find us in this unfamiliar Taiwan. He won’t be able to save me now.’_ **

Tsuki felt tears rise.

**_‘No one’s going to save me. Rubi-san won’t let me leave.’_ **

Tsuki reached up and rubbed his eye. He gingerly dabbed the tears away from his injured eye to try and avoid the pain.

 ** _‘I’m going to have to save myself. I need to try and escape when no one is watching me. When everyone goes to sleep, I could try to run again. But what if there_** is **_another lycan lurking in the forest? Wolves usually hunt in packs. There could be a whole pack of lycan’s waiting.’_**

Tsuki looked around in worry at his own thought.

**_‘It’s not safe for me to run. But how else will I get away?’_ **

Tsuki glowered at the ground.

**_‘Maybe I can get away from them in this port city. Cities have a lot of people in them from what I’ve heard. If I can get someone to help me…’_ **

Tsuki’s gaze softened.

**_‘How will I tell them without getting the others murdered?’_ **

Tsuki brought his scarf up to his mouth—25% to cover his nose because it was cold, 75% in thought.

**_‘I don’t want Toudai-san to get killed. He may be a deviant…but he’s not a bad man. And Sakuraya and Shitsuo haven’t done anything. It…doesn’t feel right to damn them just for being born a monster and the Heiwajima pack didn’t seem to do anything bad to people. Shizuo’s even a priest. He’s helped the rest of humanity despite humanity wanting to hunt him. They don’t seem bad. It’s just Hachimenroppi and Rubi.’_ **

Tsuki sighed.

**_‘I don’t want to get them killed. So, I won’t be able to call for help. Maybe…maybe I could jump off the boat as it departs? Roppi will be on the boat and I’ll be off, and the water is sure to be freezing. So, he won’t be able to swim after me without killing himself.’_ **

Tsuki’s eyes widened.

**_‘I could do that! That may be my last chance! That—’_ **

“How far do you plan to go, Tsukishima?”

Tsuki jolted to Roppi’s voice. Tsuki immediately glared over his shoulder at the black wolf.

“We’ve walked a good distance.”

“I asked you not-not to t-talk.”

“We can’t even see the campfire from here.”

Tsuki looked pasted Roppi into the forest. His kidnapper wasn’t lying. There was no glow of orange in the distance.

Tsuki let out a sigh. “Okay. C-can I have the shovel?”

“Piss or shit?” Roppi opened the bag.

“U-Urine…”

“Kay.” He held the shove out.

Tsuki grabbed it and went behind a tree. He dug up some of the snow then stood and did his business. Despite his desire to get away from Roppi, he actually did have to pee.

He finished within seconds then buried his tarnish with snow. He came around the tree and held the shovel out to Roppi. Roppi took it and hooked it to the side of the bag to dry the snow off of it.

“…Um…” Tsuki looked up at Roppi.

Roppi cocked a brow.

“Th-the way back is um…this way right?” He pointed to what he assumed was the way they had came from.

“No, it’s that way.” Roppi pointed diagonally.

“O-oh. Are-are you sure?”

“Yeah. Look, our tracks lead that way.”

“It…it’s too dark.”

“The moons reflecting off the snow. It’s not that dark.”

**_‘I should have grabbed a torch…Or not. It may have attracted animals.’_ **

“O-okay…” Tsuki said. “Do-do you mind leading t-the way?”

Roppi stared at him.

Immediately, Tsuki felt a chill go up his spine. He took a step back out of reflex. “Wh-what?”

“This is a good opportunity to have sex, don’t you think?”

Tsuki’s eyes widened. He backed away even more. “Wh-wh—we can-can’t. The-the oth-others—”

“The others don’t care.”

Tsuki began to shake. He shook his head, keeping his eyes on Roppi. “No. No. The-they—”

Roppi rushed forward.

Tsuki turned to run. Roppi grabbed Tsuki’s arm and swung him around. The blond lost his balance and fell into the snow. He didn’t feel the cold thanks to the pelt and the layers of clothes but that was the least of his concerns.

“No-no! NO! NM!”

“Sssh, not too loud. Your voice will echo around the trees.”

Tsuki shook his head, grabbing Roppi’s hand and kicking his legs around the man. Roppi lied down flat over Tsuki, his crotch rubbing against the blonds. Tears began to sting Tsuki’s eyes when he felt a distinct hardness.

“Nm! Nm! Nm! Pm nm!”

“Do not scream. I’ll remove my hand if you don’t scream.”

Tsuki’s breathing was coming out hard through his nose. The blond nodded vigorously.

“Do. Not. Scream. I mean it.”

Tsuki nodded.

Roppi took his hand away.

“Pl-please, don’t.” Tsuki said in a voice just above a whisper. “Please, please, please. I don’t want to.”

“But this is a great opportunity.”

“No…” Tsuki put his hands over his face. “No no no.”

“Calm down. You’ll trigger your asthma.”

“My-my asthma wi-will act u-up anyway if-if you—”

“Sssh!” Roppi leaned down and went for a kiss.

Tsuki turned his head so Roppi kissed his cheek. The black wolf glowered at him. He reached down and grabbed Tsuki’s bottom jaw. He forced Tsuki’s head back.

“No—mm!”

Roppi kissed him. Roppi’s tongue was shoved into Tsuki’s mouth. Tsuki pulled on the wolf’s hand, trying to tug it off.

Roppi separated. “You should brush your teeth when we get back. Your breath stinks.”

Tsuki put his hands over his mouth. “You…you…a-asshole!”

Roppi’s eyes widened. Then he chuckled. “I didn’t think you were the type to curse but that’s twice in the last hour.”

Roppi propped his elbow next to Tsuki’s head and rested his chin on his hand. His other hand began to twiddle with Tsuki’s hair as he smiled warmly.

“You’re so fucking cute.” Roppi beamed.

“Yo-you can’t do this!”

“Don’t yell. I already told you.” Roppi’s smile fell into a glare.

Tsuki stiffened and lowered his voice. “The-the-the others will wonder where-where we went. You ca-ca-can’t—”

“They’re not going to do anything. It’s not within their character.”

Tsuki’s eyes widened. “Eh?”

“Well, that Toudai guy probably would. He’s a pretty law-and-order kind of guy, ain’t he? But if he’s Rubi’s lover, then Rubi’s going to make sure he doesn’t interfere.”

“Ru…Rubi-san would…”

“Yeah. They all knew we were going to do it if we went into the woods alone. Toudai didn’t but the rest of the pack? Fuck yeah, they knew.”

“They…N-no! They—”

“We may be a pack, but they aren’t really the helpful type.”

Roppi sat up and began undoing Tsuki’s pants. The blond gasped as both layers of clothes were pulled up to around his hips. Cold air touched his rump, but his genitals weren’t exposed. Tsuki was rolled over so he was lying on his stomach.

“Wait, no—”

Roppi pushed down on the center of Tsuki’s back, keeping him thoroughly pinned with his inhuman strength. He felt wettened fingers touch his anus.

“Hee!”

“Shitsuo and Sakuraya have a ‘hear no evil, see no evil’ policy. So long as they can’t hear it and can’t see it, it didn’t happen.”

A finger pushed in. Tsuki clenched his teeth. “O-ow!”

“They’re the type of people that will hear a woman scream in the middle of the night and, knowing she’s being beaten by her husband, will turn off the lights in the house and go to bed so they don’t have to get involved. They can’t be bothered to help anyone, even if they are a pack member. Relax, Tsuki. You’re so tight.”

Tsuki put his head down so he could bite his cloak. He inhaled deeply, trying to relax his body. He didn’t want this. There would be no way he would want this. But he didn’t want it to hurt either.

“There you go. I’m going to put in a second one.”

“No, it still hur—nngh!” Tsuki was ignored.

“But yeah, you’ve probably noticed that Sakuraya and Shitsuo sit to the sideline and try to weasel their way out of responsibilities. They’re not bad guys to say, they’re just lazy as all hell and only care about each other.”

Tsuki’s eyes widened. What Roppi said wasn’t wrong. Earlier, when Toudai—a human—was protecting Tsuki from Roppi, Sakuraya and Shitsuo hadn’t said anything nor done anything to help. And the conversation when Tsuki woke. Shitsuo’s excuse as to why he couldn’t help Roppi seemed logical. But if Tsuki stopped to think about it, it was just an excuse. There were two of them, after all. One could always be watching while the other isn’t. What it boiled down to was them not wanted to.

“I don’t know if they’re siblings or lovers. They’re always togethers and that’s as far as I know. They didn’t bother and still haven’t bothered to get to know Rubi and I despite being ‘packmates’. Honestly, I don’t like them. I always feel like they’re looking down their nose at me and Rubi. But I’m not the alpha, so I can’t chase them off.”

Roppi twisted his fingers towards Tsuki’s stomach. He rubbed against the cluster of nerves that made Tsuki’s cock twitch. Tsuki covered his mouth to stifle a moan.

“As for Rubi, Rubi’s the type to acknowledge a situation but he won’t do anything. He knew about what me and my dad were doing. He knew I needed help. But he just pretended we didn’t make eye contact the night he found out. He just turned around and went back to bed. Even better, the next morning, he refused to look me in the eye and didn’t talk to me.”

Tsuki looked over his shoulder at him, his eyes widening.

Roppi took on a cynical look as he chuckled. “Bet his stories different, isn’t it?”

Tsuki stared at him for a moment before turning his head back. **_‘It’s not different…It just wasn’t that detailed.’_**

“Well, it’s whatever. No point crying over spilt milk, right? Rubi’s the type of guy that’ll hand you a knife to cut the snare off your leg instead of cutting it for you. He doesn’t want to handle that kind of responsibility. Did he tell you about the night I killed my father?”

Tsuki looked over his shoulder at the werewolf. Then nodded.

“Did he tell you he was the one who handed me the knife I used to stab my dad?”

Tsuki’s eyes stretched wide.

Roppi chuckled. “Yeah. While Dad was arguing with Kichirou, Rubi gabed the knife we used for gutting game and came over to me. He kept elbowing me in the side while Shizuo tried to push us out the cave. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what Rubi was implying. You’ve loosened up quite a bit. I’m gonna put it in.”

Tsuki jolted. “N-no, I’m not-not—”

Tsuki felt a pressure against his entrance.

“Ro-Ro—aaaah! AAAHH—HMMM!”

Roppi shooshed Tsuki in a soothing voice as he put a hand over Tsuki’s mouth. The werewolf kissed the back of Tsuki’s head. It had been quite a few days since Tsuki had to put up with his horrible burning sensation. Every part of his being was rejecting it despite being unable to remove the intruder. One hand grabbed the pelt with a vice grip that turned his knuckles white. The other grabbed Roppi’s hand over his mouth. Tsuki’s breath was coming out hard and fast through his nostrils while tears streaked his cheeks to soil against Roppi’s hand.

“Calm, Tsuki.” Roppi whispered into his ear. “You’re shaking. Calm down, okay? We don’t want to trigger your asthma.”

Tsuki couldn’t respond even if he wanted to.

“I’m going to remove my hand. Don’t scream.”

Tsuki didn’t give any indication of yes or no. Roppi removed his hand regardless. Tsuki immediately began panting through his mouth.

“It hu-hurts! It hurts…” Tsuki sobbed.

“You’re still not used to it, huh?” Roppi bumped heads with Tsuki. “I’ve only go the tip in. Let me get it all in then I’ll let you get used to it.”

“No, don-don-don’t move!” Tsuki reached back and grabbed the coat over Roppi’s hips with both hands. “Don’t move. Please…”

“I’ll go slow.”

“No—nn, uh!”

Tsuki was once again ignored. Roppi slowly began moving forward. Tsuki tilted his head down, slamming his forehead against the ground. The pain to his cranium was nothing in comparison to the white hot sparks that lit up his back side. His grip on Roppi’s clothes tightened and he started pulling on them.

“It hurts! It hurts!”

“I know. Bear with it.”

“I can’t! St-stop, stop…”

Roppi ignored him. He forced himself past Tsuki’s rectum to enter his inner-most sphincter. White hot pain shot up his spine.

“STOP!” Tsuki swung his arm up on reflex.

The blond felt his elbow hit Roppi’s chin. The werewolf recoiled with a groan.

Tsuki stiffened—his body tightening around the member inside him—as fear gripped him. He hit Roppi. He didn’t mean to, but he had hit Roppi. And in this compromising position, Tsuki was completely at Roppi’s mercy. Tsuki began to cry and shake for a new reason.

“I’m sor-sor-sorry!” Tsuki brought his arms under his body, trying to make himself smaller while tilting his head down. “I’m sor-s-s-s-s-sorry. Sorry!”

When would the pain come? Where would he be hit this time? His back? His ribs? Would Roppi choke him out? Break his arm? He was scared of the inevitable. His breathing was coming out hard now, he was getting lightheaded from the vigorous breathing. His lungs were starting to ache.

**_‘Please don’t hurt me anymore. Please don’t—’_ **

Tsuki felt a kiss planted on the back of his head. His eyes widened. Roppi then rested his full weight over Tsuki, enveloping him in warmth.

“Tell me when it’s okay to move.”

Tsuki’s eyes were the size of moons.

Roppi actually listened to him. He didn’t hurt him for being disobedient and was willing to work with Tsuki instead of just selfishly taking Tsuki’s body. Roppi was being kind to him.

No, Roppi was still taking his body. He didn’t want to do this to begin with and he still doesn’t want to do it. There was nothing kind about this. Tsuki shouldn’t let this one moment of gentleness overwrite the events that led to this point. He shouldn’t be so easily swayed.

**_‘…Roppi-san…’_ **

“G…go slow, pl-please.” Tsuki said.

“So, it’s okay for me to move now?”

Tsuki blushed from ear to ear. He closed his eyes tight shut and nodded.

Roppi grabbed Tsuki by his shoulders, hugging him close before he slowly, inch by inch, pushed himself further.

“KH!” Tsuki clenched his teeth and tilted his head back. “Hah, ah!”

“Does it hurt?”

Tsuki nodded.

“Can I keep going?”

Tsuki shook his head.

“Okay.”

Roppi stopped his movements.

Tsuki panted heavily, his body relaxing as the pain subsided to a dull ache within seconds.

“O-okay.” The blond said.

Roppi began moving once again.

Tsuki dug his nails into the pelt. “Is-Is it in-in yet?”

“Almost. Just a few more centimeters.”

“It hur-hurts.”

“I know. Bear with me.”

Tsuki clenched his teeth.

“Can I keep moving?”

Tsuki didn’t answer. He nodded instead. Roppi wrapped his arms around Tsuki’s chest before he started pushing forward.

“Nn! Hn!” Tsuki grabbed Roppi’s arms and dug his nails in while he arched his back in pain.

If felt like hours before Roppi’s hips touched Tsuki’s backside. Roppi exhaled in ecstasy before pressing his mouth into Tsuki’s shoulder.

“God, you’re so tight.”

Tsuki didn’t answer.

“Are you warm enough?”

Tsuki nodded.

“I’m going to move now.”

Roppi didn’t wait for Tsuki to respond.

“NN!” Tsuki buried his mouth into the pelt.

Roppi rolled his hips back slowly, being just as slow as he pushed back in. Roppi thrust in and out of Tsuki with a slow rhythm. Tsuki’s insides still burned. He felt a brief moment of relief whenever Roppi pulled back, but it was soon gone with Roppi’s return. Tsuki could only clench the fur pelt underneath him. It wasn’t so painful that he would scream. But it wasn’t pleasant. It hurt, and he just wanted it to end.

Tsuki could feel his hair move with every panting breath from Roppi. It warmed Tsuki’s face, his ear, and smelt of meat. Roppi was getting off on Tsuki’s pain. The blond turned his head away in disgust.

“Can I go faster?” Roppi asked.

Tsuki didn’t respond. Roppi waited for only a moment before he propped himself up on his hands. His movements were quicker now, acting as jabs against Tsuki’s insides. Tsuki clenched his teeth to the sensation. Every once in a while, Roppi’s cock hit that cluster of nerve inside him. However, Roppi was paying attention to his own pleasure over Tsuki’s. He was pumping his hips to reach his own orgasm. Tsuki was just the…thing to help him release so Tsuki’s orgasm wasn’t important to him.

That was fine. Tsuki didn’t want to feel good. Enjoying the sensation of being raped was the worse feeling Tsuki had ever felt in his life. No, he didn’t want to feel good. He just wished it wouldn’t hurt. That it wouldn’t leave him crying with disgust and pain. He wished it didn’t…feel the way it felt. He wished it didn’t feel wrong and gross.

But what Tsuki wanted more than anything was for this to stop. He wanted this to just end.

Tsuki buried his face in the crook of his arm while his other hand came up to grab his own hair. Tears soaked into his sleeve as he swallowed down his voice.

**_‘Keep calm. Don’t trigger your asthma. It’ll be over soon.’_ **

“Tsuki, do you want to cum?” Roppi whispered in his ear.

Tsuki shook his head.

**_‘Just don’t give him too much. Don’t respond unless asked.’_ **

“Don’t be so worried about the others. They’re not going to come looking for us.”

Tsuki clenched his teeth.

**_‘Don’t listen to him. Ignore him. Ignore him.’_ **

Roppi’s movements became faster. The raven sat up, so he was resting on his knees, his legs pressing against Tsuki’s sides. He pushed down on Tsuki’s lower back and thrust with more vigor. Tsuki’s voice hitched and a light layer of sweat coated his brow.

**_‘He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care so I shouldn’t care.’_ **

“So, this is just a quicky, huh?”

Tsuki didn’t know what that was.

“That’s fine. I’ll make sure to get you off next time. You’re so stiff right now, I doubt you’ll be able to cum anyway.”

Roppi’s fingertips dug into Tsuki’s flesh, adding more pain to his body. Tsuki clenched his teeth before taking in a deep breath.

**_‘Calm, calm, calm. Keep calm. Breath in and out slowly.’_ **

Roppi thrust hard. His skin slapped against Tsuki’s, forcing air from the blonde’s lungs. Tsuki’s teeth tightened even more, hard enough to make them ache.

**_‘Breath. Breath.’_ **

Roppi thrust with abandon. He battered Tsuki’s hole relentlessly. The blonde’s voice hitched with every thrust. Tsuki swallowed hard to keep his voice from escaping.

The werewolf clicked his tongue before he pulled out sharp and fast. Tsuki gasped to the sensation. In the next moment, the blond felt something warm splatter on his bare rump. Tsuki’s eyes stretched wide in realization.

Then he clenched his teeth yet again as he lost control. Tears freely streaked his cheeks and he fell away into sobs. Roppi had just ejaculated on him. For some reason, that felt far worse than when Roppi came inside him. It was almost like Roppi solidified that Tsukishima was just a sexual object. If Roppi had that much composure to pull out and aim, then there was no love behind his actions. He was just a tool for Hachimenroppi’s pleasure.

Tsuki buried his face in his hands as he cried.

“I’m always so impressed by how much you can cry.” Roppi said. “I’d think after your breakdown today, you wouldn’t be able to so soon.”

Tsuki just shook his head.

“Why are you crying, by the way?”

Tsuki felt a rag rub against his rump.

“Was I too rough at the end there?”

All traces of Roppi’s semen were removed from his skin.

“Did I hurt you?”

Roppi pulled Tsuki’s pants up. Tsuki clenched his teeth once again before he forced himself to sit up. He pulled his pants up the rest of the way and fastened the button.

“Are you cold? You need to stay warm. Your asthma might act up.”

**_‘You’re so disillusioned, you’re pathetic.’_ **

Tsuki couldn’t respond to Roppi. He felt so disgusted and hurt and was quickly filling with self-loathing. Tsuki should fight. Tsuki should run. Tsuki should do everything in his power to let this man know he didn’t want anything to do with him. He should make it so Roppi had to forcefully drag him or knock him unconscious every time he tried to do anything to Tsuki. Why couldn’t Tsuki be stronger? Why was it that all Tsuki could do was cry? He was just used as a cum rag, yet his only response was to cry like some dame. What was wrong with him? Why was he so weak?

Tsuki decided he needed to take care of himself mentally. He had to stop thinking. He had to stop hating himself. He had to just stop feeling. Stop feeling and stop registering. He wanted to get away from this man and here was the only solution he had left. To escape into the depths of his own mind. He closed himself off from Roppi, from the world, from his reality. He’d be safe here.

“Tsuki?” Roppi leaned forward to look at Tsuki.

The two made eye contact but Tsuki didn’t acknowledge him. He couldn’t see Roppi despite the werewolf being right in front of him.

Roppi’s eyes stretched wide. His hands found purchase on Tsuki’s cheeks, moving the hair out of his face and holding him with tender care.

“Tsuki…”

Tsuki couldn’t bring himself to leave his mind. He was right, he would be safe here, in the depths of his own consciousness. Here, Roppi didn’t exist. Here, Tsuki was finally by himself. Here, Tsuki had freedom.


	12. Chapter 12

Tsukishima couldn’t walk anymore. His legs were hurting so bad and his lungs were killing him. The only reason he was able to keep going was because Roppi was pulling on his wrist, forcing him onward.

“Keep moving!” Roppi growled, glaring back at Tsuki. “We fell behind. We won’t catch up to the others at this rate.”

“I c-c-can’t any-anymore.” Tsuki looked at Roppi with desperation, tears streaking his cheeks. “Puh-please, let me r-rest.”

“Move it!” Roppi gave a harsh tug.

Tsuki stumbled and fell forward. He fell against Roppi’s shoulder. The werewolf growled in irritation and shoulder-checked Tsuki away. Roppi’s shoulder blade slammed into Tsuki’s mouth. Hot pain flooded his teeth and he tasted blood.

Tsuki fell to his knees, holding his swelling lips with his free hand.

“Get up! Come on!” Roppi pulled on Tsuki hard.

“St-st-st-stop! Stop!”

“You stop! Stand up now!”

“N-No! He-help! Someone help me!”

“Shut up already! No one’s going to help y—”

“TSUKISHIMA!”

Both Tsuki’s and Roppi’s eyes widened. Tsuki recognized that voice. He never thought he’d hear it again and he felt his chest tighten in fear and relief. Tsuki whipped his head around to confirm what he knew.

“Delic-Nii!” Tsuki called.

The blond with an identical facial structure to Tsukishima’s glared death at Hachimenroppi. A knife was in his hand. Roppi glared at Delic before staring down at the knife.

“How the hell did you find us?” Roppi glowered.

“Get your hands off my brother!” Delic yelled.

Delic charged forward. Roppi let Tsuki go to meet the irate blond. Tsuki scrambled to his feet and ran out of the way so he didn’t become collateral damage. He ran into the forest and swerved behind the first tree he could reach. Tsuki tilted his body to peak around the wood. He was scared but so, _so_ hopeful. His brother couldn’t take out a werewolf but what if he did? What if Delic managed to save him?

His fears soon didn’t matter. The fight was over as soon as it started. While Tsuki’s back had been turned, in those few seconds he was running away, Delic somehow managed to get the raven on the ground. The werewolf that had terrorized Tsuki for so long was now dead with a knife handle sticking out of his chest. Roppi hacked up blood, his eyes stretching wide. He gasped hard, struggled to breathe. Then he fell limp in the snow.

“Is…Is he…” Tsuki started.

**_‘That was so fast. So easy. There’s no way…’_ **

“Yeah.” Delic said, looking at Tsuki. “He’s gone, Tsuki.”

“Re-really? N-Nii-san…”

“You’re safe now, Tsuki.” Delic held his arms out to him in a hug. “Let’s go home.”

Tsuki couldn’t believe it. It was too easy. It was too good to be true. But Delic was there, standing and uninjured while Roppi was on the ground and lifeless. Delic was alive and smiled at him with relief. Delic was here. Delic came for Tsukishima.

Tsuki was finally safe.

Tsuki couldn’t contain his relief. He cried hard before he ran forward, hands outstretched to hug his brother.

“NII-SAN!”

Tsuki’s eyes flared open as he sat upright, the call for his brother tearing through his throat.

“What! What!” Roppi jolted up, the pelt falling off his back as he looked at Tsuki. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

Tsuki looked around, wide-eyed. He was sitting in a pile of pelts. Hachimenroppi had been lying next to him. Across the dead fire, Rubi and Toudai stirred awake. Sakuraya and Shitsuo gave no indication of being woken by Tsuki’s call. The blond looked into the trees, looking for any speck of blond hair and pink shirts through the dead foliage. There was none.

Tsuki realized he had been dreaming. His chest tightened to the realization and tears began to weld in his wide eyes.

“This again?” Roppi rubbed his hand through his hair before he rolled over to sit down. He pressed himself close to Tsuki as the blond put his face in his hands and cried. “You’re going to trigger your asthma as soon as you wake up.”

“I-i-i-it was-was a dream…Nii-san…”

“Hah?”

Tsuki sobbed. He lied down on his side, face still in his hands, and cried. He felt Roppi lie down flat behind him, pulling the pelt up to cover their shoulders. His arm snaked around Tsuki’s waist. His heat pressed against the blonde’s back.

“It’s alright.” Roppi rubbed his forehead against the back of Tsuki’s head. “I don’t know why you’re crying first thing in the morning, but it’ll be alright. By noon today, we’ll be on a ship to Taiwan. Everything will be alright.”

**_‘No, it won’t! I don’t want to go to Taiwan! I don’t want to go!’_ **

Tsuki tried to stifle his sobs. He didn’t want Roppi to know of his turmoil anymore. For all he knew, Izaya was right, and Roppi enjoyed seeing him in pain. He didn’t fully understand why, but he didn’t want to look weak in front of Roppi anymore. He couldn’t stand to look so pathetic anymore. But he couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. So, he would do his best to stifle his cries and hide his face from Roppi’s view.

That’s all he could do.

* * *

 

Tsuki kept his eyes on the ground. He didn’t have nearly enough energy or interest to raise his head to see where they were going. So, he decided he’d just watch where they were walking as his head rested on Roppi’s shoulder.

The man who hurt Tsuki the most was piggybacking the teenager, holding him close. Tsuki couldn’t hook his injured ankle under Roppi’s rump, so he had the blonde’s feet tucked into his jacket—so they didn’t get cold.

The group had been walking for a few hours now. Rubi and Toudai were in the lead. Sakuraya and Shitsuo followed closely behind and Roppi took up the rear. Roppi wasn’t in the back because he was acting as the rear guard; he was in the back because Tsuki’s additional weight was making him sink further into the snow—which slowed him down and made it so he needed to follow in someone else’s footprints else he’d slow the whole group down.

However, soon, that didn’t matter as a trail presented itself. There were deep indents in the snow. Tsuki was confused at the sight. They looked like wagon marks, but it seemed too wide from what Tsuki was used to. Tsuki lifted his head from Roppi’s shoulder to look around.

“We’re almost to the port city.” Roppi said, looking over his shoulder at Tsuki. “Try not to be intimidated.”

Tsuki didn’t answer. But that statement brought Tsuki out of his mental sanctuary long enough to question: **_‘Intimidated?’_**

The group started walking in the grooves. Now that Tsuki was more aware, he began to properly take in his surroundings. There were horse tracks and horse dropping in between the two-wheel marks. That wasn’t anything unnatural. All the wagon’s Tsuki has seen were usually pulled by a horse. At least, they used to. His village had horses once, but they died and didn’t bear a foal, so they started using yaks to pull them or just carried small loads by themselves. Tsuki hadn’t seen a horse in quite a few years, but he knew the rest of the world didn’t have unfortunate circumstances like that. A lot of the wagons in this city would probably be pulled by horses. What was unnatural was the amount of fecal matter. The snow was permanently stained brown with it. Tsuki buried his nose in Roppi’s shoulder to keep the smell from messing with him.

**_‘Why’s there so much? Are cities really that big?’_ **

The group kept walking. Within minutes they came to the top of a hill. Tsuki’s eyes stretched wide.

Before him was a harbor of some sort. And around said harbor were houses upon houses. Ones as big as Izaya’s manor and some as big as his family home. In the center was the tallest building Tsuki had ever seen. The peak of it had a cross on the top.

“Is that a-a church?” Tsuki asked, staring in awe as he lifted himself just a tad higher to see over Roppi’s head.

“That big building?” Roppi verified.

Tsuki nodded.

“Yeah. That’s the bishop’s church.”

Tsuki looked down at him. “Bi-bishop?”

“You don’t know what a bishop is?”

“N-no…”

“Fucking hell, you were raised in a tower, weren’t you?”

Tsuki glared at him.

“The bishop is a priest in charge of the area. And right now, they’re the ones in charge of sections of the holy order. You know how an army works, right?”

“Huh?”

“Okay, so basically there’s the guy in charge. And that guy decides that he has too many followers to lead them properly. So, he assigns other people, seconds-in-commands basically, to lead chunks of the followers. The seconds-in-command for the church are called bishops.”

“W-who’s the guy in-in charge then?”

“Who do you think it is?”

“God.”

“Nope.”

Tsuki glowered.

“He’s known as the Pope. Supposedly, he was chosen by God to be the head of the church.”

Tsuki cocked a brow, tilted his head down to try and look at him. “Ch-chosen by G-God?”

“Supposedly.”

“G-God wouldn’t ch-choose som-someone to lead the ch-church if he wa-was going to mu-murder innocence.”

“Apparently, he did.”

“That’s not—”

“Unless God’s just a farce used to control the masses.”

Tsuki openly glared at him. Then glanced to the side and let out a sigh. He didn’t want to argue with him again. He didn’t have even a spark of resilience left to put up a proper banter anyway. And it wasn’t like Roppi was going to listen to Tsuki’s opinion on God.

Tsuki rested his head on Roppi’s shoulder. God was his only salvation right now. God was a good escape right now. Tsuki wouldn’t mind going back into his mind to surround himself with God. Surround himself with church walls and stain glass windows. That wouldn’t be a bad place to be. That wouldn’t be a bad place to hide himself from Hachimenroppi.

“Come on, guys.” Rubi said and started down the hill.

* * *

_"We’re almost to the port city. Try not to be intimidated.”_

Roppi was right to make that statement to Tsukishima.

The city was intimidating.

There were so many people. So many sounds and smells. People were openly cursing at each other in the streets. Brawls were taking place in some of the alleyways. Tsuki even saw men raising their hand to children and women and others walked by as if it was a normal thing. Horses pulling huge carriages controlled most of the streets. The pedestrians had to say close to the houses so as not to get crushed. Snow, strong perfumes, animal fecal matter and fires flooded Tsuki’s nose. His eyes were stinging with tears from the strong smells alone.

Tsuki was overwhelmed. He held onto Roppi tightly, trying to ‘fuse’ himself with Roppi just to be smaller. So many people have already bumped into Roppi and none of them were very polite about it. They either glared or told Roppi to ‘watch where he was going’. Roppi glared but didn’t make any animalistic growls and said nothing. If he did, it would most-likely draw attention and they couldn’t take the chance of any holy order soldier’s passing by.

The group was so paranoid. They had already seen a small group of holy order soldiers. And Tsuki would agree that they did not look like holy men. They looked like warriors, with armor and swords. Tsuki would not want to ask for a sermon from them, nor help from his monstrous kidnapper. Just from that sight, Tsuki was convinced that everything he had been told—by Roppi, by Izaya, by Shizuo—was completely true. These men were here to kill, not to spread the word of God.

Because of that, the pack had taken proper precautions before entering the city. Shitsuo, Rubi, and Tsuki had on skintight turtleneck hoods. It hugged their hair to their cranium’s and neck and every lock was hidden from sight. They also had loose fit hoods on to droop low over their faces. Everyone in the group had hoods on to make the three blonds looked less suspicious. To hide their eyes, Roppi, Tsuki, Rubi, and Sakuraya had on glasses. Tsuki had never known these were an actual device, nor did he know that they could ‘improve’ eyesight. Tsuki knew he had bad eyesight—he couldn’t see very far on the best of days—but he didn’t know the world could be so _clear_! And to top it off, the sun reflected off the glass lenses, so it made it very hard to see their eye color from afar. Someone would have to get in their face to notice.

Tsuki was amazed with this simple device. He was overwhelmed by this city, upset with the soldiers he saw, and hated this whole dreadful place. But he made no indication of any of this. Tsuki was spending a lot of time in his mind right now. After that horribly depressing dream this morning, he wanted to be even more away from Roppi. He receded to the back of his mind, imagining he was in a church, sitting in a pew. He didn’t want to imagine he was back home because if he came out of his mindset, he’d be more and more depressed. So, he imagined he was somewhere safe, somewhere Roppi couldn’t touch him. Within the walls of a holy church that existed only within his mind, Tsuki was safe.

The group of abnormals were thoroughly camouflaged in the crowd. No one was giving them side-long glances nor attempting to stop them for questions. They weren’t the only people who were wearing ‘suspicious’ hoodies either. No one even noticed the packs existence.

Within fifteen minutes of being in the city, the pack found an appraiser they were searching for.

“I’ll be right back, you lot stay here.” Roppi said.

The five of them stood in the alley next to the building, out of the way of the pedestrians and carriages. Tsuki sat down on a wooden box, hands on his knees and staring at the ground. The glasses slid down his nose just enough that he could see over the rims. There was nothing for him to see, though. He was so deep inside his own mind that he couldn’t even register the snow under his feet.

“You know, if you were to run right now, Roppi wouldn’t be able to find you.”

Tsuki stared at stain glass windows. He could hear a sermon going. He didn’t know who was talking but they were saying the word of God and that was all the comfort Tsuki needed.

“Tsukishima.” Tsuki’s shoulder was shook.

The blond glanced up. Someone was shaking him, but he couldn’t register who it was. It was probably Roppi anyway.

“Hey, are you listening?”

No, not Roppi. This person was wearing glasses. The sun reflecting off them was hurting Tsuki’s eyes. He squinted. Finally, he was able to take into account who it was. It was Rubi.

“Tsuki, go.” Rubi said.

Tsuki tilted his head to the side slightly in confusion.

“Go.” Rubi pointed behind Tsuki to the other end of the alleyway. “Go out that way and take a right. Follow the main road down. On the other side of town is a manor. Go pass the church and pass a fountain with an angel statue. The manor will have gargoyles on the gateway. Stone statues of roaring monsters. You can’t miss it. Tell them that Orihara Izaya sent you.”

Tsuki just stared at him. **_‘What is he saying? Going to a stranger’s manor…Wait, Izaya-san?’_**

Slowly it was starting to seep in.

“Izaya’s brother, Hibiya, lives in that manor. If you explain to him everything, he’ll take you to Izaya’s manor.”

Tsuki’s eyes widened with realization. As he finally left the depths of his mind, he came to register that Roppi wasn’t there. He was inside the shop while Tsuki was out here with only Rubi to supervise him. He could escape. He could run. He couldn’t run to the church though. The holy order might kill him. But if Izaya had a brother…

“You have to go. Now!”

Tsuki leaped to his feet. Shitsuo and Sakuraya glanced at Tsuki before turning their back on him, standing at the mouth of the alley with an aura of disinterest.

 _‘See no evil, hear no evil.’_ Those two wouldn’t rat Tsuki out. That was just fine. Better than them being loyal to Roppi.

Rubi nodded vigorously before stepping back. He turned the corner to stand in front of the store.

 _‘Rubi’s the type of guy that’ll hand you a knife to cut the snare off your leg instead of cutting it for you.’_ Rubi was going to help Tsuki, even if it was indirectly. Maybe he wasn’t as bad as Tsuki originally thought.

Toudai looked at Tsuki. “God speed, Tsuki-kun.”

Toudai then turned around and left the alley behind.

**_‘They’re all going to pretend they don’t know where I went.’_ **

Tsuki took a few steps back as tears stung his eyes.

**_‘Thank you. Thank you, everyone.’_ **

The kidnapped teen turned around and ran.


	13. Chapter 13

Tsuki panted heavily, leaning against a brick building. His ankle was screaming in agony. He couldn’t keep going, he had to let his injury rest. He could feel it throbbing in his tabi, shooting hot fire up his leg to his knee. His asthma didn’t help. His chest was pulsing, and his throat ached. He bent forward and coughed hard, saliva drizzling onto the snow. He knelt down, feeling nausea hit him.

**_‘No, no no. Don’t start up now. I need to go. He’s bound to be right behind me.’_ **

Tsuki looked over his shoulder at the thought. There were many of black-haired people in the crowd, none of which he recognized. He counted his blessings that none of them were an angry Hachimenroppi.

He breathed in heavily, the cold air burning his nose, before releasing it. Tsuki stood, leaning heavily on the building with his injured ankle bent up. He looked ahead of himself. Farther down the road was the church. It was still a good distance away. With Tsuki’s ankle, it would take him another 10 to 15 minutes to get there. But the church wasn’t his goal anyway. He had to go past it.

Tsuki wasn’t so certain about going to a stranger’s house. If he went to the church and asked for sanctuary, the church couldn’t deny him regardless of what he looked like. He should be safe there. But at the same time, if this Holy Order were to have control of the church and they don’t care for sanctuary, Tsuki could very well be putting himself in danger, or even sending himself to his grave.

However, the notion of asking a stranger for sanctuary worried him just as much. If he was Izaya’s brother, that must mean he was a vampire as well, right? What if he asked for payment with Tsuki’s blood? Tsuki wasn’t ready for that. He had heard so many horrible rumors about vampires and what happens when a vampire drinks from a human. Tsuki didn’t want to become a vampire, or a thrall, or a ghoul. He wanted to remain human.

But he also wanted to go home. He had no choice as of right now. He had to go with his best option and that option was Orihara Izaya’s brother.

Tsuki held on to the wall tightly as he hobbled forward.

**_‘Go past the church and past a fountain with an angel statue. What even is a fountain? I should have asked before I ran off…’_ **

Tsuki groaned.

“Excuse me?”

Tsuki jolted and looked up. A man stared down at Tsuki, concern in his expression. However, as soon they made eye contact, the man’s eyes widened in horror. He immediately took a step back.

“Y-yes?” Tsuki asked.

“Um…never mind.”

The man turned around and walked off faster than he needed to. Tsukishima cocked a brow but said nothing.

**_‘…Okay?’_ **

Tsuki continued on his way. People were glancing at him and giving him a wide birth. Tsuki didn’t know why, but he decided not to question it. He put his vision back on the church. He was closer now. The size of the building was intimidating to say the least. Tsuki was in awe as he hobbled through the snow. For a moment, he wanted to go there for sanctuary—regardless of the potential danger of the Holy Order. He didn’t want to go to a vampire’s house when a home of God was right there. It felt almost blasphemous to make such a choice. No, it was blasphemous.

**_‘But Father Shizuo even said not to go to the church while the Holy Order was there. He’s a man of God so I’m not…wrong, am I?’_ **

Tsuki was within reach of the church. All he’d have to do is veer left and walk towards the stairs.

**_‘Father Shizuo is a werewolf though. He could have just told me that for the sake of his own safety.’_ **

The church was far more appealing than a vampire’s manor. Tsukishima pushed himself off the wall, stepping out into the sunlight with his eyes planted on the church. He looked at the marble stairs.

Then paused. A small group of men walked out of the church doors. Men with swords. Instead of black priest robes, they wore white attire with some form of metal clothing over their chests. They looked like warriors. Not holy men.

Tsuki stepped back until he was in the shadow of the brick buildings once again. He immediately changed his mind about asking these men for sanctuary.

**_‘How could God allow soldiers in a sanctuary? Soldiers shouldn’t be allowed…’_ **

_“Unless God’s just a farce used to control the masses.”_

Tsukishima felt a twinge of doubt seep into his heart. The blond had been through such trials at the hand of the Devil, and Tsukishima had remained undyingly faithful to God. Yet God hadn’t answered any of his prayers yet. Tsuki understood he had to help himself, that God would only hold his hand and guide him throughout his troubles. But there had been no guidance.

There had been nothing.

Tsukishima clenched his fists and looked away from the church.

**_‘God. I know I’ve been asking for a lot lately. But, please. Please, allow me to get to Orihara-san’s brothers. Please, just let me get to a sanctuary. Please…’_ **

Tsukishima hobbled along.

**_‘Please…’_ **

“TSUKISHIMA!”

The blond felt his blood turn cold. He looked over his shoulder to see the man he feared the most. Hachimenroppi rushed out of a gap between two buildings. He looked around wildly before his eyes fell on Tsuki. They made eye contact. Tsuki’s eyes widened with fear. Roppi’s narrowed with rage.

Tsuki turned and ran.

“STOP!”

Tsuki didn’t. Fight or flight hit Tsukishima hard. Adrenaline pumped through his veins, making him numb to the pain in his ankle. He had to get away. Now.

“FUCKING STOP!” Roppi yelled.

Tsuki felt something grab his hood. The wraps binding the cloak to Tsuki’s neck tugged on his throat and choked him hard as he was pulled back. His back slammed against the snow. His cuts spasmed, he coughed hard, his eyes stretched wide.

Roppi grabbed Tsuki’s wrists and gave him a tug.

“What are you doing?!” Roppi yelled.

“NO!” Tsuki screamed.

Immediately, the blond began to kick and scream wildly.

“Knock it off!” Roppi pulled Tsuki by his arm, yanking him to a sitting position.

Tsuki refused to listen to him. He kicked and screamed, threw elbows and punched Roppi’s injuries. The raven growled in his ear as he wrapped his arms around the struggling blond. The werewolf held a vice grip on Tsuki’s limbs to try and restrain him.

The crowd of people gave them an even wider birth than they were giving Tsuki earlier.

“What’s going on?”

“Some kind of fight.”

“Right next to a church, even. That’s asking for trouble.”

“Should we help the blond?”

“Just leave them be. The Order is coming.”

“Someone hel—Kmph!” Roppi slapped his hand over Tsuki’s mouth.

“Shut up!” Roppi growled. “Do you want to get us killed?”

Tsuki refused to stop. **_‘Dying’s better than being with you!’_**

“HEY!” A burly voice echoed around them.

Roppi looked over just as Tsuki did. Three of the men Tsuki had seen earlier, in their white robes and armor, stood before the two. The distressed blond saw someone was behind them, hiding from his sight.

“Obviously, this is a stupid question,” the man growled, “but I’ll ask anyway. Is there a problem here?”

“No,” Roppi said as calmly as he could while Tsuki continued to struggle in his hold. “No problem.”

 ** _‘There is a problem!’_** Tsuki tried to nod. **_‘Help me!’_**

Roppi felt the motion against his hand and grabbed Tsuki’s jaw hard, pressing the blondes head against his chest.

The man obviously didn’t look convinced. “If there’s no problem then let him go.”

“Can’t do that, sir. He’s got issues. He’s mentally unwell. If I let him go, he’ll run, and if he run’s he may hurt himself.”

Tsuki’s eyes stretched wide. **_‘I don’t have a mental problem! You do!’_**

Tsuki struggled harder. The armored man scoffed and reached down. He grabbed Roppi’s arm hard and tugged. Tsuki struggled with the man. Roppi’s grip didn’t release. The man put his free hand on his sword hilt.

“Let him go.” The man said.

Roppi glared up at him, his lips pulling back in a snarl.

But the raven understood the threat.

He released Tsuki. The blond immediately pushed himself to his feet and ran.

One of the men grabbed Tsuki’s arm, stopping him from moving.

“N-no! Lemme g—”

“You think we would ignore your eyes?” The man looked over his shoulder. “Is this the boy you were talking about, sir?”

Tsuki looked to see the man who had been hiding. He was in normal, everyday attire. Tsuki recognized him. The man who had approached the blond earlier and left just as suddenly as he appeared.

The man nodded. “How many other red-eyed people would there be?”

“Apparently two.” The Holy Order men looked down at Roppi.

Roppi glared at them with malicious hatred.

Tsuki’s eyes stretched wide at the implications the man had set on the blond.

“I-I-I’m not like h-him!” Tsuki yelled. “He-He’s…”

Tsuki hesitated. As much as he hated Roppi for all he’d done, he didn’t want to persecute the raven. Roppi needed help, not death.

The Holy Order men glared at Tsuki. “We’ll figure out what you are after some questioning.”

Tsuki was tugged towards the church. **_‘Questioning? That’s…not as bad as Father Shizuo sai—'_**

Roppi slammed his legs into the two Order men’s knees. Tsuki heard something crack before one of them—the one who got hit first—called out in pain and fell. The other stumbled to the side but managed to keep his footing. Tsuki’s eyes stretched wide to the noise. So, did the man’s who held Tsuki.

Roppi stood up and grabbed the man who gripped the teenager’s arm. The man didn’t let go of Tsuki, however. So, as Roppi slammed the holy man on the ground, Tsuki fell with him. But one their backs hit the snow, the man released in favor of defending himself against his assailant.

Tsuki scrambled to his feet. Roppi was sitting on top of the man. The blond saw blood fly from the werewolf’s fists. Fear pooled in Tsuki’s gut.

**_‘He’s going to kill them!’_ **

“S-st-stop!” Tsuki called, tugging on Roppi’s cloak.

The other Holy Order man drew his sword.

Roppi looked up at Tsuki. The blond flinched.

“Tsuki, run!”

Tsuki’s eyes widened.

The raven turned around as the man swung his blade. Roppi pulled out a dagger. The small blade clashed with the sword. But Roppi’s inhuman strength held the much bigger weapon in place. The raven looked at Tsuki with a hateful glare.

“Run, you dumbass!” Roppi growled. “I’ll find you in a minute!”

Tsuki felt his body go numb at the promise that felt more like a threat. But he didn’t sit there as the fear crept up his body. He listened to the fear as he turned and ran. He turned down an alleyway and immediately made a left down a second alley. He went in the direction he had originally aimed for.

**_‘Past the church, past a fountain with an angel statue.’_ **

Tsuki felt a throbbing going up his leg from his injured ankle. But he could ignore it. Adrenaline made that easy for him. Tsuki ran down the alleyways without much guidance or knowledge of the layout. Some of the alleyways ended and he had to turn down new one that seemed to lead him farther away from the main road to the church. He didn’t know where he would end up, so he went just a tad further down and made the next left he could.

Tsuki didn’t know how long he was running for. He only stopped because an asthma attack was threatening to take him over. He gasped hard and leaned heavily against the wall. He felt saliva drizzle out of his mouth but at least he wasn’t vomiting. He quickly looked around himself, looking behind him especially. There was no one there.

**_‘Is Roppi-san alright? What if they kill him? Father Shizuo said the Holy Order were ruthless…’_ **

Tsuki walked down an alleyway towards the main road. He peeked out. He had left the church far behind. He also spotted what he figured was the fountain. It was covered in snow but Tsuki could see it was made of stone and circular. In the center of the circle was the angel. It was a decent distance away; Tsukishima had run by the fountain by a long while.

And he had also passed the manor with the gargoyles. Tsuki could only assume that was the place Rubi had described. There were two roaring monsters that Tsuki had never seen before standing on either side of a metal gate. A fence made of stone enclosed a huge building. It was just a tad smaller than Orihara’s Izaya’s manor. Tsuki had overshot his sanctuary by at least ten feet.

Tsuki looked down towards the church. He couldn’t see Roppi, or the holy men. He could barely make out a disturbance in the snow, but he couldn’t see anyone laying in the snow nor a disturbing amount of blood.

**_‘Did…they arrest Roppi-san?’_ **

Tsuki didn’t know. But he decided not to dwell. He stepped out of the alleyway with the great gates in sight.

A hand came around Tsuki’s mouth. His eyes stretched wide as he was pulled back into the alley. Tsuki struggled out of instinct but he didn’t need to see to know who was violently grabbing him. However, the blond never got to see who it was as he was slammed hard into the brick building. His skull slammed against the wall hard. His eyes rolled back in his head as his vision went black.

* * *

 

Tsuki had a raging headache and his eyes felt like they were bleeding. As soon as he opened them, he regretted it. Tears streaked the side of his face and nausea rose in his throat.

“Tsuki…”

The blond heard someone, but he could barely made it out. It was so far away and wavering. Tsuki opened his mouth to speak but his mind couldn’t form a word. He couldn’t even form a thought.

Tsuki decided it was too much effort to stay awake. He closed his eyes and fell unconscious immediately.

Tsuki next woke feeling way better. He still felt extremely horrible, but the nausea and headache had passed. Now it was just fatigue and dehydration.

Tsuki forced himself up. Dizziness hit him hard and he wobbled dangerously. He nearly fell off the wooden bed he lied on. The only reason he didn’t was because someone jolted forward and wrapped their arms around him.

“Easy, easy.” The gentle voice said. “You have a slight concussion.”

“A…wha…?”

“You hit your head really hard and it rattled your brain, essentially. You’re probably feeling very sluggish, tired, dizzy.”

“Mm-hm…”

“The trauma won’t last. With a bit more rest, you’ll be fine.”

Tsuki finally looked up at the person that held him. “Tou-dai…san…”

The doctor looked down at Tsuki with profound sadness. “Yes. It’s me.”

“H-how…are you…Where am—”

Tsuki’s eyes stretched wide as realization hit him. He looked around himself. He was in a wooden room. The bed he lied on was made of wood and was attached to the wall, ropes attached to the outer corners to hold the bed up. There was a thin, soft pad underneath him. It barely provided much comfort. The blanket that sat over his lap was thin and scratchy.

And Toudaimoto, the doctor and lover of Rubi, was here. Which only left one option as to where Tsuki was.

The blond jumped off the bed.

“Tsukishima!”

Tsuki’s knees gave out almost as soon as he applied pressure on them. The bone slamming against the wood echoed around the small room. A hand came over his shoulder.

“You shouldn’t get up.” Toudai said close to his ear. “You need to rest.”

“D-don’t touch—”

Tsuki pushed Toudai away and forced himself to his feet. He rushed to the big wooden door. The door didn’t have a handle. Instead it was a rope that he had to pull towards him. He did so and stumbled out into a hallway. He looked left and right. Right was more rooms. Left was a few rooms and a staircase leading upwards. Tsuki went to the staircase.

His balance was lost as his whole body rocked to the side. He stumbled and slammed against the wall. That didn’t stop him, however. He rushed forward and climbed up the steps. Sometimes it was on all four, but for the duration, he was leaning against the wall. His balance was shot as he rocked left and then right.

Sunlight greeted him. He made it up the steps and was blinded by the powerful rays. He squinted his eyes and put a hand out to block the light. His eyes adjusted within seconds. The world was displayed to him. He stood on a wooden deck, with banisters that lined the sides. There was a giant pole in the middle of the deck with huge white sheets on it. Tsuki had never seen anything like it.

He glanced around the deck to see several men he didn’t recognize. Rubi, Sakuraya, and Shitsuo were also there. They turned to stare at Tsuki wide-eyed.

“Tsuki?” Rubi questioned with shock.

“Tsukishima, wait!” Toudai called from the staircase.

The blond ignored him in favor of rushing to one of those banisters. His waist slammed against the wood as he looked out.

Tsuki’s eyes gazed upon a never-ending expansion of water. As far as the blond could see, there was nothing but water.

_“Well, it’s basically this giant expansion of water that stretches as far as the eye can see.”_

_“Oh, it’s a giant boat with massive sails.”_

**_‘No…’_ **

Tsuki felt tears begin to rise.

“Tsukishima!”

“No…”

“Tsukishima!” The blond was turned around. Toudai looked at Tsuki with guilt-ridden sorrow before he pulled the teen into an embrace. “It’s okay. It’ll be okay.”

Tsukishima tilted his head down and screamed into Toudai’s chest. He screamed in sorrow. He screamed in rage. He screamed because he couldn’t think of any other way to express his inner turmoil. His voice echoed off the water, even with the doctor’s chest as a muffler.

The crew looked at Tsuki wide-eyed. But the blond didn’t care.

“No, no no no no.” The blond sobbed as his knees weakened.

Tsuki couldn’t stand anymore so he allowed himself to go to his knees. Toudai followed, hugging him close and rubbing his back. Tsuki held him desperately. “I we-we-went too far. I r-ran past the-the manor.”

“Sssh, shoosh, Tsukishima,” Toudai rubbed his hair soothingly. “You did your best.”

“But it wa-wasn’t goo-good enough.”

“You gave it your all. You did more than most would in your situation.”

“I—”

“The hell are you screaming for?”

Tsuki stiffened and went cold to the voice. He glanced up to see Hachimenroppi gazing down at him with a cocked brow of confusion.

“What’s wrong?”

Tsuki grip on Toudai tightened as his heart pounded in his ear.

“Keep him away from me…” Tsuki whispered to Toudai. “Please.”

“What are you whispering about?” Roppi bent forward, reaching down to touch Tsuki head. “What’s wrong, Tsuki?”

“Don’t touch him!” Toudai twisted so that his body blocked Tsuki from Roppi. “You’ve caused him enough suffering. Leave him alone for now.”

Roppi’s eyes widened in shock but his brows were furrowed in irritancy. Tsuki made brief eye contact with Roppi. The blond stiffened, his hands tightening on Toudai once again before he buried his face back in the doctor’s chest.

Tsuki heard Roppi scoff. “Fine.”

The raven turned and walked off. Tsuki heard his footsteps echoing across the deck. The blond tilted his head up to look over Toudai’s shoulder to see him walking over to a stranger. Said stranger had bandages in his hand and Roppi’s sleeve was ripped along his bicep. A new injury.

Tsuki couldn’t bring himself to care about it. Roppi wasn’t going to torment him anymore. For now, at least. Within Toudaimoto’s arm, Tsukishima would be safe for the time being. And as of right now, Tsuki needed safety. He needed that small pit of comfort so that he could have his breakdown.

The clothe over Toudai’s chest soaked up all of Tsuki’s tears. The doctor made no complaint as he rocked Tsuki back and forth and stroked his hair. For a moment, Tsuki could almost pretend he was in the arms of his older brother, Delic. He could pretend that he could smell the tobacco and strawberries that was Delic’s scent.

At least he could still pretend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have a really bad habit of doing things when I want to do them. That's the main reason I'm working on 9 stories at once instead of doing the smart thing and finishing a story then starting a new one.  
> And that habit is not just for stories. The reason I haven't been working on archive recently is because I've been translating, typesetting, and posting durarara doujinshi's. Mostly Crazy9, but I've got others translated, just not typeset. I'm amateurish at best but no one else is doing the doujins I want to read so I'm doing them. *le shrug*  
> Sorry for the delay. I would like to state that I have a stigma against discontinued work and so I don't ever discontinue. I will eventually finish a story, even if it takes me years to do it. And if I truly lose interest then I'll just arbitrarily delete it off my page. But that has yet to happen. If I lose interest in a story, it's long before I even start typing it up--while it's still in the longhanded script.   
> Point is, I do not discontinue or abandon stories. I will do them, it'll just take time and may go on hiatus. But that's the worse I'll do.   
>  Thanks for your patience. Thanks for reading thus far. Don't forget to kudo, comment, and all that jazz.  
> KCK


	14. Chapter 14

Tsuki sat on the thing that could only be considered a bed. He was hugging his knees to his chest with his face in his thighs. After he found out he was on a ship heading for Taiwan, Tsuki went straight back to the room he had been in prior and lied down. He had cried until his eyes were stinging. He had cried himself into exhaustion. His body was demanding he go to sleep, but Tsuki didn’t want to. Tsuki’s mind had gone into a very dark place. One that made him feel helpless and hopeless. One that involved his last resort that he had begged God for forgiveness.

The blond could only assume night had fallen as someone went around placing lanterns in the hallway. Light was seeping into his room from the hole in the door. It was the only illumination in Tsuki’s pitch black room. The light annoyed him, so the blond buried his face into his knees. Putting him in the position he currently lied in with dark thoughts filling his mind.

**_‘God, I know that suicide is a sin. I know its wrath against oneself. But I don’t know what else to do. You…haven’t been guiding me. I just don’t know…’_ **

There was a knock on Tsuki’s door. The blond couldn’t be bothered to look up from his knees.

“Tsukishima, you awake?”

Tsuki recognized the voice as Hachimenroppi. He definitely wasn’t going to respond knowing that.

The door opened anyway. “Tsukishima?”

He refused to raise his head.

“Why’s it dark in here? Hey, are you asleep?”

Tsuki didn’t answer. He heard Roppi’s shoes shuffling against the wood. The sound of a match striking resounded. Then Tsuki could see the glow of light creep into the gaps of his torso and legs.

“Did you fall asleep like that?”

Tsuki didn’t respond.

The floorboards creaked as Roppi walked over. He sat next to Tsuki on the wooden bed.

“Hey,” Roppi’s hand touched his shoulder.

Tsuki flinched and jolted away from the raven.

“Oi, it’s just me.” Roppi growled. He casted Tsuki a slight glare before his voice took on a soothing tone. “It’s just me. You’re okay.”

Tsuki glared at Roppi before he shimmied away from the werewolf. The blond wrapped his arms back around his knees and pressed his mouth to his thighs. Roppi glared at him but didn’t comment on Tsuki’s attitude.

“I brought you food.” Roppi said. “You’re not seasick, are you?”

Tsuki didn’t respond.

“Your bucket’s empty. So, I can only assume you’re not. You seem to have pretty decent sea legs.”

Tsuki glanced to the side.

“Here.” Roppi held the food out to him.

Tsuki looked over to the bowl. He casted it a glare before he turned his head away, burying his mouth in his elbow.

“You need to eat.” Roppi’s voice deepened into a growl of annoyance.

Tsuki stiffened and swallowed hard as fear gripped him. He clenched his fists hard. But tried not to show it to Roppi.

“Do I need to force feed you?”

Tsuki jolted as his eyes stretched wide. He backed away from Roppi while shaking his head wildly. His hand fell off the edge of the bed in his flailing. He gasped loudly as he teetered backwards. Roppi reacted impeccably. He grabbed Tsuki’s wrist and tugged the blond hard. Tsuki’s face slammed into Roppi’s collar bone. The two groaned—Tsuki’s nose ached from the glasses pushing it down and Roppi got his collar bone smacked hard with the blonde’s skull.

“The fuck are you doing?” Roppi growled.

The blond jolted and sat up straight. He pushed against Roppi’s shoulder with his free hand and closed his eyes tight shut.

“Stop—what is wrong with you?!” Roppi tugged Tsuki harshly.

Tears strung Tsuki’s eyes as fear pooled in his chest.

“Oi, speak to me! I can’t understand why you’re freaking out!”

Tsuki just shook his head. He couldn’t speak. Anything he said would just irate the werewolf even more. Roppi wouldn’t listen to him anyway so what was the point? He was going to get beaten regardless of what he said. There was no reasoning with Hachimenroppi.

“Would you fucking—stop and speak!”

Tsuki just sobbed.

There was a knock at the door. The two looked over.

“Tsukishima, it’s Toudaimoto. May I come in?”

**_‘Toudai…’_ **

Tsuki went to stand. Roppi’s grip on his wrist only tightened. The blond looked back at him. The werewolf was glaring at him in warning.

“Tsukishima?” Toudai knocked again.

**_‘I don’t want to be alone with him…’_ **

“C-come in!” Tsuki called.

An inhuman growled echoed in Roppi’s throat. Tsuki swallowed hard before he shook his head.

 The door rattled before Toudai walked in.

“Oh.” Toudai said as soon as he saw Roppi. “I was not aware you were here.”

The doctor’s eyes fell on the hand around Tsuki’s wrist. Those russet eyes narrowed.

“Tsuki-kun, do you know where the restroom is?” Toudai asked.

The blond shook his head.

“I’ll show him later.” Roppi growled, pulling the blond closer.

Toudai glared at him. “Well, I brought you some food.”

“I already ate.”

“I was not talking to you. I was talking to Tsukishima.”

Roppi’s eyes narrowed in unadulterated hatred. “I already brought him food.”

“…My apologies.”

Toudai walked over, stumbling for a moment, and put the bowl of food on the barrel at the ‘head’ of Tsuki’s bed—it was only the head because the pillows were on that end.

“Have you eaten?” Toudai knelt down in front of Tsuki.

Tsuki’s gaze flashed from Roppi back to Toudai. He then shook his head slowly. Toudai looked at Roppi.

“Let him go, if you would?” The doctor said.

Roppi glared death at him. “Don’t fucking tell me what to do.”

“How is he supposed to eat if you are holding his wrist?”

Roppi’s lip pulled back in an inhuman snarl, exposing elongated canine.

“What is more important, Roppi-kun?” Toudai growled. “Your control over him or his health?”

A growl rumbled in his throat. The bottom half of his face stretched into a grin as his bottom jaw popped. It stretched outward into a fleshy muzzle of a dog. Tsuki gasped loudly and tugged away harshly.

“You are scaring him.” Toudai said far too calmly for witnessing such an inhuman display.

Tsuki pushed against Roppi’s hand violently, digging his nails in. The blond shook his head vigorously, closing his eyes tight shut.

The vice grip on his wrist was released. The blond backed away. Toudai stood and sat on the bed behind Tsuki and gripped the blonde’s shoulders gently. He rubbed Tsuki’s arms soothingly.

“It is alright.” Toudai said. “When a werewolf is angry at night, their transformation may happen without their knowledge.”

Tsuki just shook his head, looking at Roppi with horror-stricken eyes. Roppi put a hand over his mouth and turned away. Tsuki heard popping sounds and Roppi groaned slightly. The werewolf turned to look at Tsuki anew, looking like a proper human. However, the terror didn’t abate. Tsukishima just _could not_ handle being around his torturer anymore.

Tsuki pushed himself against Toudai, looking down at the floor.

“What the hell is your problem, Tsuki? Seriously?” Roppi growled. “You’re being so fucking difficult.”

“Roppi, I believe it is you who is being difficult.” Toudai glared at him.

“Hah?” Roppi’s throat was thick with hatred.

Tsuki stiffened. The blond quickly turned and grabbed Toudai’s chest, shaking his head with fear-laced eyes.

“What the hell do you mean by that?” Roppi gaze flashed from Toudai to Tsuki then back to Toudai.

Toudai looked at him. “I mean—”

Tsuki tugged the doctor’s shirt, shaking his head even more.

Roppi glared at Tsuki. “Let him talk, Tsuki.”

Tsuki looked back at Roppi, his brows furrowed in a form of agony Roppi didn’t understand.

“I mean,” Toudai started again, wrapping his arm around Tsuki’s shoulder’s almost protectively. “this boy wishes for nothing more than to go home and you have denied him at every turn. What happened yesterday was his last attempt. Now that we are on this ship, Tsuki has no hope of seeing his family again. And you were the one that did this to him.”

Tsuki felt fear grip his heart. Roppi is sure to become violent. Tsuki didn’t think he could handle this rough man anymore. If he turned his anger on Toudai, the doctor may be murdered in front of him. Tsuki wasn’t ready to see something like that.

“So,” Roppi looked at Tsuki. “You’re homesick?”

 ** _‘Homesick…? That’s is the kindest way to explain how I feel!’_** Tsuki swallowed hard before he tilted his head down to look at his feet.

“Homesick is not how I would describe this, Roppi.” Toudai near snarled.

“That’s the best way to describe it though.” Roppi put the bowl of food down on the barrel. “Listen, Tsuki. Regardless if your sad, it won’t last. I told you, I’ll make you happy to be with me. It’ll just take time, okay?”

Tsuki didn’t respond, keeping his eyes on the ground.

“You shouldn’t starve yourself just because you’re upset with me. You need to eat.”

Tsuki shook his head.

“If I have to force-feed you, I will.”

Tsuki shook his head again, pressing himself against Toudai.

“Tsuki-kun,” Toudai said, softly, soothingly in his ear. “He does have a point. You should not punish yourself to get back at him. You must take your health into account.”

Tsuki looked up at the doctor.

“You are only hurting yourself by fasting. You must remain strong.”

Tsuki eyes filled with tears. He shook his head softly.

“If you give up now, you will have to rely on Roppi to take care of you.”

Tsuki’s eyes widened.

“So long as you have breath in your lungs, you can still fight. But if you let yourself wither then you will have to move completely as Roppi’s pace. You will lose all form of freedom So, please, I implore you. You must eat.”

Tsuki swallowed hard. He felt a wad of emotions bubble in his chest. His words resonated with a part of him that had been buried by his fear. He barely registered it. But that small sliver of light was enough to get the blond to sigh heavily. His nodded his head, keeping his gaze down towards the floor.

Toudai smiled softly before he stood. He walked over—leaning his hip against the bed the whole way until Roppi’s leg’s obscured his course—picked up the bowl he had brought in, turned back to Tsuki and held it out to the blond. Tsuki looked up at him, then at the bowl. He didn’t want to take it. He had no appetite and felt nausea in his throat at the sight of food. Tsuki swallowed hard before taking the food from Toudai.

“Are you fucking…” Roppi started but cut himself off.

Tsuki looked up at the raven.

“Whatever.” Roppi crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall. “Fuck it. So long as he’s eating, I guess.”

Tsuki knew he had done something wrong. More than likely, it was the fact that Tsuki took food from Toudai instead of the werewolf. The fear pooled inside him anew, his stomach hurting from the anxiety. His hands started to shake.

Hands touched Tsuki’s bicep. He jolted and looked up. Roppi’s arms were still crossed. Tsuki looked over his shoulder. Toudai smiled down at him kindly.

“It is okay.” Toudai said, rubbing Tsuki’s biceps in comfort. “Try to eat. Everything is alright.”

Tsuki didn’t believe him. But he nodded all the same and turned his attention back to his food. He picked up the spoon and took a generous amount of soup into his mouth. It was unsalted and bland.

**_‘So long as it’s edible, I guess…’_ **

“Hey, doc,” Roppi growled.

“Yes?” Toudai looked up at the irate werewolf.

Roppi didn’t even glance at him as he said, “I think this needs to be said. If you sleep with Tsukishima, I. Will. _Kill_. You. And Rubi won’t be able to stop me.”

Tsukishima stiffened as his eyes stretched wide with fear. Fear for himself that he would be forced into sex by the deviant. And fear for Toudaimoto whose life was threatened.

Toudai, on the other hand, showed no signs of fear. Instead, he gave Roppi a gaze of pure disgust. He then scoffed to verbalize that disgust as he rolled his eyes.

“Despite what you might think of deviants, I do not spread my legs for just anyone nor do I take advantage of a child who does not understand.” Toudai looked at him with narrowed eyes. “I am proud to say I am _nothing_ like you.”

Roppi’s eyes grew wide with rage. Tsukishima jolted. “T-Toudai—”

Then, all too fast for Tsuki to comprehend, Roppi grabbed Toudai by the chest of his shirt and lifted him off the bed. The doctor’s back slammed into the wall, the enraged black wolf holding him up so only the tips of his toes were touching the ground. Toudai grabbed Roppi’s wrists as he clenched his teeth.

“You may not be scared of me, you little shit,” Roppi growled in Toudai’s face. “But I’ll put the fear of God in you by the time I’m done with you.”

“You may believe your threats are at all worth anything,” Toudai’s voice was heavy with the full weight of his body being suspended. But a smirk crept up his cheeks. “However, you are not the first depraved bully I’ve ever met. A man who takes advantage and shoves the weak around all to save his crumbling masculinity. You are _certainly_ not the first. Why Rubi wastes his time pitying the likes of you, I will never understand. Rubi’s kindness is wasted on a sad excuse for a being like you.”

Roppi expression only became more twisted with rage. He pulled his clenched fist back in a swing, poised to punch Toudai in the face. “YOU—”

“PL-PLEASE!” Tsukishima screamed, something clattering to the ground.

Roppi stopped mid-swing, looking over at the blond. Tsuki was crying, hands nearly hiding his face while his expression was laced with pure fear. He had dropped his bowl, the soup splattering over the floor.

“Please, just st-stop.” Tsuki sobbed. “St-stop being vi-violent. Stop—please, stop being sc-scary.”

Roppi’s eyes widened. Then Tsuki saw a look the werewolf had never shown him before. An expression of pure guilt crossed his features. The blond was shocked. However, it didn’t last as the raven’s brows knitted in a scowl. He then scoffed harshly.

“Fine.” Roppi let the doctor go.

Toudai coughed as he rubbed his collar bones. The werewolf stuffed his hands into his pants pockets and went to the door.

“The threat stands.” Roppi growled. “Touch Tsuki and I’ll kill you. Make sure he eats.”

With that, Hachimenroppi was gone. He closed the door harder than he needed to, the swinging wood bouncing off the rim and opening back up. Toudai stumbled over and closed it gently.

“Are-are you okay?” Tsuki asked.

Toudai smiled at the blond. “Yes, I am alright. Thank you for stopping him.”

The blond looked at him wide-eyed. “I-I did-didn’t do anything.”

“You did, however.” Toudai sat down by the teenager—having rocked quite precariously on his journey over. “He only stopped because of you.”

Tsuki swallowed, glancing to the side.

“Continue to eat, Tsukishima-kun. Would you like me to stay with you longer?”

Tsuki look at him. Then nodded. The doctor grabbed the bowl of food Hachimenroppi had brought in and gave it to Tsuki. The blond looked down at his food and lifted a spoonful to his mouth. Toudai went back to the barrel—leaning against the bed—and opened the top of it. He pulled out a cloth and a bucket. Tsuki didn’t know there had actually been anything inside the barrel. The bucket had a wooden lid on top of it. Toudai knelt in front of the spilt food on the floor and opened the bucket. It was filled with water.

Tsuki felt guilty that Toudai was cleaning up his mess. But the blond had no motivation to help him, so he just continued to eat his tasteless soup.

“I must say, Tsukishima-kun, you seemed to have a handle on your emotions far better than I assumed you would.”

Tsuki looked at him. “What…do you mean?”

“Besides your breakdown earlier, you have not become hysterical.”

“I f-feel like a moment ago was hyst-hysteria.”

“Yes, but it could have been a lot worse, is my point. You’re…handling this far better than most people would.”

Tsuki just stared at him for a moment. Then he looked to the side. “…I just feel numb…right now. Ot-other than fear…I feel like…I feel like I could d-die right now and I would-wouldn’t be scared.”

Toudai’s expression became very serious. Tsuki’s eyes widened to the change and he stiffened.

“Um, I—”

“Tsukishima-kun.” Toudai abandoned the mess on the floor to stand. He stepped over it and sat by the teen. Then reached out to touch him.

Tsuki flinched and closed his eyes tight shut. A gentle hand touched his hand. He opened his eyes to stare at Toudai.

“What you are describing is depression. Considering your situation, such a response is to be expected. However, you must try to keep your head high. If you start developing suicidal thoughts, I beg you, tell me. I can help you, Tsukishima-kun.”

“…Un-unless you can get me home…I don-don’t think you can hel-help me.”

Toudai’s brows furrowed up and the doctor looked like he was about to cry. He wrapped his arms around Tsuki. The blonde’s eyes widened as he was pulled into an embrace.

“I’m sorry.” Toudai said into Tsuki’s hair. “I am sorry that we could not take you home.”

Tsuki felt tears sting his eyes.

“There is nothing we can do for you, Tsuki-kun, except keep you healthy.”

“ _Hic_ …”

“There is nothing we can do. At least not now. I know I have no right to ask anything of you, but please, hold on for a while longer. The situation could change drastically by tomorrow.”

**_‘I don’t want to hold on any longer.’_ **

“We know not what the future holds. I know now it looks bleak, but the situation can turn for the better without reason.”

**_‘No, it won’t. It won’t turn better.’_ **

“You must remain strong. I swear, on my life, I will not give up on you.”

**_‘But I’m not strong! I’m not, I’m not, I’m not!’_ **

Tsuki clenched his teeth as he fell away into sobs. He grabbed the doctors shoulder blades with a vice grip that turned his knuckles white.

**_‘I just want it to end. I’ve done everything I could. I…I just…’_ **

The blond felt his tears starting to stop as an emptiness filled his chest.

**_‘I just don’t want to anymore.’_ **


	15. Chapter 15

Tsukishima stared at the wooden wall, the ship swaying back and forth. The movement annoyed the blond, but it didn’t cause him motion sickness—unlike Toudaimoto, who was in the next room over vomiting up everything he had eaten. For that reason, Toudai had left Tsuki’s side for the night. He started feeling nauseous from watching Tsuki eat with the add-on of the rocking ship. Tsukishima never really got motion sick from when he road on hay carts or got in a boat to go down the river. It never bothered him. However, Toudaimoto was suffering profusely. He couldn’t even take two steps without stumbling and leaning on Rubi—who came to guide Toudai back to their room—or the wall. Tsuki tried not to laugh at the irony of a doctor who became sick.

Although, Tsukishima wasn’t in a laughing mood anyway. He had fallen deep into depression. He knew he had. Tsuki wished he could just die. Tsukishima couldn’t bring himself to care about anything other than the growing void in his emotions. The blond was no longer in turmoil. For the first time since this journey started, Tsukishima just felt empty. Everything had flown away from him. The sadness, the rage. It all just went away, being replaced with an emptiness that felt even worse.

Tsukishima had given up. Tsukishima had botched his last chance to go home. Now, there was no hope.

**_‘How much would it hurt to drown?’_ **

Tsuki stopped to imagine the sensation. Cold, mixed with the pain of an asthma attack. It couldn’t be that bad. It was like an asthma attack that never ended until Tsuki died. If he was lucky, the cold would take him before the drowning. All he had to do was go to the deck and lean over the railing. It would be simple.

But fear gripped him at the idea of ending his life.

**_‘Is there a…softer way to go? Maybe some poisonous plants? A knife would hurt. Maybe hypothermia? Death by cold, I heard you go completely numb and don’t feel anything by the end…’_ **

Tsuki felt like crying.

**_‘God, please. I beg you. Forgive me for what I’m going to do.’_ **

There was no response, once again. Nothing but the vacancy of his own mind. Nothing but the rise of doubt that was almost crippling.

Tsuki pulled his cloak around his shoulders and stood. He walked to the door and slowly opened it. He stuck his head out and peaked around. He looked left and right. He was looking for Hachimenroppi, however, he also didn’t want to see Toudaimoto. The doctor would try to stop him, no doubt. But there was no one, not even crew members.

Tsuki closed the door behind him quietly. He then turned and went up the stairs.

He was buffeted by blistering wind. The cold lifted his scarf and hair and made his eyes sting. His noses started to hurt, his lungs following the same ache.

**_‘It’s so cold. Maybe…it’ll be quicker than I thought.’_ **

Tsuki stared up at the night sky and was immediately in awe. He had never known the sky could be so massive. Trees and mountains lining the peripheral had made the sky much smaller. But now that Tsuki wasn’t in turmoil, he was able to properly take in the mass of darkness above his head.

**_‘Beautiful. It’s…almost intimidating…’_ **

Tsuki tore his eyes away from the sky. He didn’t want to, but he felt that if he stared for so long, he would change his mind. He couldn’t allow himself to waver. He had to stay true to his cause. Else he’d lose his conviction and nerve. The blond walked over to the mast. He placed his hands against the wood for balance and looked around.

There were a few people walking around on deck, all were crew members that Tsuki didn’t recognize. He got side-long glances from some of them, but none came up to talk to him. That was fine by him. Tsuki didn’t want them to talk to him, in case he gave away his plans.

The blond walked over to the railing. Everything was just black. The water, the sky. Tsuki couldn’t tell the difference between the two since they were the same shade of black. The moon was hidden behind clouds, so he couldn’t even see a reflection off the waves.

The black was intimidating. Tsuki felt his conviction waver.

**_‘I…I can’t…’_ **

Tsuki swallowed hard and closed his eyes tight shut. He put his hands together in prayer, tilting his head down.

 ** _‘God, I…I don’t know what to do. I feel as if I have no other choice than to take my own life. That…or continue to suffer at the hands of a devil. Please, great lion, give me some form of sign. Is Hachimenroppi truly a devil or is he just a misguided soul? Should I continue with this man’s pace or take my life into my own hands? Please, I need your guidance now more than ever._** Please ** _!’_**

Tsuki opened his eyes. There was nothing but never-ending black.

The blond let out a heavy sigh as his whole figure slumped in defeat.

**_‘Guess that’s my answer.’_ **

Tsuki looked around. There were a few crew members behind him. They were close enough that if they figured out what Tsuki was doing, they could stop him. The blond looked around him. The back of the ship, up a flight of stairs, looked unoccupied. Tsukishima hobbled his way across the deck and up the stairs. He found the steering wheel of the ship. He could only assume that’s what it was. However, there was no one there so Tsuki wondered if the ship just road the waves and they had very long paddles somewhere on the ship to guide them along. He couldn’t bring himself to care as he limped to the railing at the back of the boat.

Orange light shined out over the water from the glass windows underneath him. With that, Tsuki could see the waves were a lot farther down than he had thought. What’s more, there were chunks of ice in the sea. Some were small and barely noticeable while others were huge enough for Tsuki to climb on and ride if he wanted to. Tsuki questioned if he could turn one into a makeshift boat and head back to Japan. It was a fleeting thought. It probably was impossible, like trying to ride a log in the river. It would most-likely sink under his weight.

Tsukishima felt fear begin to rise anew. His conviction wavered yet again.

Tsuki swallowed hard and closed his eyes tight shut. He put his hands on the railing and tilted his head back to face at the stars.

**_‘Don’t think about it. Just do it.’_ **

Tsuki leaned forward. His waist bent over the railing and his feet left the wood.

The blond was grabbed by the cloak and tugged roughly. He was choked momentarily but he still gasped, which hurt his throat to do, as his eyes stretched wide.

**_‘How did Hachimenroppi find me already?! Why—’_ **

“What the hell were you doing?” A gruff voice growled, pulling Tsuki close. “Were you trying to kill yourself or something?”

Tsuki felt fear clench his chest. Hachimenroppi was going to hurt him terribly if he told the truth. The werewolf had beaten him and tried to violently rape him due to nearly getting him killed. How would he respond if Tsukishima had tried to kill himself instead? The blond started to shake as tears stung his eyes.

“Oi,” the man turned Tsuki around, so they were facing each other.

“I-I-I-I-I’m so-so-so-sorry…” Tsuki tried to pull away, pushing on the man’s hand as he tossed his gaze to the ground. “I’m sor-sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Sorr—why are you apologizing? Hey!”

Tsuki couldn’t stop the tears that streaked his cheeks.

“Why are you crying? Are you okay?” Gentle hands covered in callus’s touched Tsuki’s cheeks.

The blonde’s eyes widened. This wasn’t Roppi. It couldn’t be. He was too kind. Tsuki properly looked up. He didn’t recognize the man. He was probably only a bit older than Tsukishima but with much darker skin. His hair was longer than appropriate for a man and it was tied back to be out of the way. He was a crew member.

“You-You’re not Ro-Roppi-san…” Tsuki started to cry, his face deflating in relief.

The man stared at him in confused concern. “What’s wrong? Hey, what’s wrong?”

Tsuki shook his head. **_‘Is this your sign, God? It…it has to be, right? I’m not supposed to die yet, right? That’s what this means, I’m sure.’_**

Tsuki wasn’t sure if he should feel relieved or destroyed that this was God’s choice for him.

“Hey,” the man’s voice became softer as he lifted Tsuki’s head, so they made eye contact, “Tell me what’s wrong. That didn’t look like an accident. Are you okay?”

Tsuki felt his stomach form into knots. The blond shook his head, fear gripping his organs. “I-I-I can’t. Ro-Roppi-san, he…”

“Roppi-san—the brunette that brought you on the ship yesterday morning?”

Tsuki nodded.

“What did he do?”

Tsuki looked up at him in sorrow. Then the blond decided to just let the grief take him for the first time since he got on this boat. All the emotions that he couldn’t feel anymore came flooding forth and he couldn’t control himself. He tilted his head down and rested it against the man’s chest. His shoulders jolted with his sobs.

The man patted Tsuki on the back.

“Hey, it’s alright. I’m…I’m sure you didn’t mean to. The ship rocked and you leaned more than you meant to, right?”

Tsuki shook his head. “I…I just d-don’t know wh-what to do any-anymore…”

“What…what do you mean?”

“I just…don’t know…I just want to-to go ho-home…”

The man’s eyes widened and he looked down at him. “Go home? Wait, what are you—”

“HEY!”

Tsuki’s eyes stretched wide and his body went cold to the voice he recognized. The blond looked up quickly, the two gazing over the deck. The red-eyed wolfman stood by the lantern against the mast, glaring up at the two of them. Tsuki began to shake again with newfound fear.

Hachimenroppi rushed up the stairs onto the second deck.

“Your friends alright,” the man said, “he just had a case of motion sickness and—”

 Roppi grabbed Tsuki’s bicep and tugged the blond hard. Tsuki gasped as he lost his balance, falling against the werewolf.

“The fuck are you doing?” Roppi growled in Tsuki’s ear.

“I-I-I—”

“Oi,” the crew member looked at Roppi with a slight glare. “There’s no need to be so rough. He’s alright.”

Roppi glared at the man openly. Then the raven nodded. “Thanks for looking after him. He should be getting some rest though.”

Without waiting for a reply, Roppi turned and tugged Tsukishima along with him. Roppi gave no pause to his movements nor stopped to let Tsuki catch his bearings. The blond practically fell down the stairs against Roppi. Roppi forced him to his feet. The two went across the deck and down the stairs to the lower level of the ship.

“I-I-I…” Tsuki started. “I wa-wasn’t—”

Roppi pushed the door open to Tsuki’s room. He swung Tsuki around into the room then stepped in after him, still holding Tsuki close. The raven then closed the door and grabbed a wooden peg. The peg was within a sliding apparatus and it could only slide left or right. Roppi pushed it right and it thoroughly kept the door from opening as well as keeping anyone else from coming in. Roppi locked the two into the bedroom.

Tsuki felt his heart clench painfully as the fear built in his throat.

“N-no!” Tsuki pulled away from Roppi, grabbing his hand to try and get him to let go. “I swear—I swear, I was-wasn’t doing any—”

“First Toudai, now a random sailor. Were you really a virgin before we met?”

“Wh-what—”

Roppi swung Tsuki around and slammed him into the wall by the door. Tsuki called out in pain as the wounds on his back spasmed. The werewolf didn’t care as he grabbed the blond by both shoulders, forcing eye contact.

“You’re pretty good at seducing men. Am I just one of many? Is that why you didn’t want to leave your town? You didn’t want to leave all your sugar daddies.”

“I-I—How could you say th-that?!”

“Why shouldn’t I? Not like that sailor wasn’t all over you.”

“He wasn—”

Roppi kissed him. Although, calling it a kiss may be too generous. He more of smashed his lips against Tsuki’s and demanded the blond open his mouth for his tongue.

**_‘Help…’_ **

Tsuki tried to turn his head away but Roppi denied him by grabbing his face.

**_‘Someone help me…’_ **

The raven separated. The blond coughed before he began to shake his head.

“N-no, ple—”

“Oh, please this, please that.” Roppi growled. “Could you have even a cunt hair of dignity? Just shut up and take it like a man.”

Tsuki’s eyes stretched wide in horror.

Roppi scoffed before he turned and pulled Tsuki towards the bed.

“Why?” Tsuki sobbed, his vision misting over with fresh tears.

Roppi looked over his shoulder, glaring at him. “Why what?”

“Why can-can you hurt me an-and do whatever yo-you want to me but still s-say you love me?”

Roppi’s eyes widened for a moment. Then they returned to their original glare. “It’s your fault. If you fucking cooperated with me instead of fighting, I wouldn’t have to be rough.”

Tsuki’s eyes widened in horror for a second time.

“Don’t go around other guys. You—you’re mine, so you should only interact with me. You’re easy so anyone could sweep you away.”

**_‘How could you say that?! Do you know me at all?!’_ **

Roppi made Tsuki sit on the bed. The blond was shaking uncontrollably as he hugged himself, tears streaking his cheeks like a river.

“Oh my fuck, stop crying alrea—”

“I hate you.”

Roppi’s eyes stretched wide.

Tsuki looked at him with fresh fear, fresh tears, and fresh anguish. “I hate you so-so much.”

“You…”

Roppi slammed Tsuki’s shoulders to the wooden bed. The blond called out in pain.

“You can’t say that.” Roppi stared down at Tsuki with those wide eyes, a desperate look upon his face. “You’re not allowed to say that.”

Tsuki glared up at him, although it was quite lackluster since he couldn’t stop crying. “S-so, you-you can call me a de-devious whore when I was a _fucking **virgin**_ , but I’m n-not allowed to state how I truly feel—”

“YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY THAT’S YOUR TRUE FEELINGS!”

Tsuki flinched, closing his eyes tight shut.

“You’re not allowed. You’re not allowed.”

The captured teen opened his eyes slightly as he began to shake again.

Roppi grabbed Tsuki harshly and flipped him over onto his knees. He threw the cloak down Tsuki’s back and grabbed the blonde’s pants.

“Hk!” Tsuki clenched his teeth, grabbing the pillow under him tightly.

“You have to say you love me, Tsuki.” Roppi pulled Tsuki’s pants down to around his knees. “You have to love me, Tsuki.”

The blond didn’t respond. He wanted to fight against the werewolf, but fear held him tightly. After everything Roppi had done to him, the last thing he wanted was another concussion. On top of which, something was wrong with the werewolf. He words, his mannerisms, they were all desperate and almost pitiful. Tsuki didn’t know how violent Roppi would get like this, so—despite knowing what was coming next and know how much he was going to hate it—he decided not the test the waters of Roppi’s mental stability and kept quiet.

Roppi spat and Tsuki felt the glob of liquid hit his hole. The blond flinched and stiffened, feeling disgusted. He heard the werewolf unzipped and unbuttons his pants. In the next second, he felt Roppi’s rock hard erection rubbing the saliva up and down his hole. Tsuki could hear his heartbeat in his ears as he began to shake with fear.

“Tell me you love me.”

Tsuki bit into the pillow.

The blond felt a pressure against his anus for a split second before white-hot pain replaced it. His eyes stretched wide and he arched his back. Out of reflex, he reached back and grabbed at Roppi, grabbing his hips and trying to push the werewolf away.

“Agh! Agh ah!”

Roppi grabbed Tsuki’s wrists and pinned them to the bed by his side. “Tell me you love me, Tsuki.”

Tsuki had trouble breathing like this. With his chest pressed to the floor, hips in the air, and arms pinned to his side, all his weight was on his chest. He had to gasp hard just to get air in his lungs, which was starting to affect his asthma.

“It h-hurts.” Tsuki sobbed, gasping hard. “Please—”

“Tell me you love me!”

Tsuki shook his head.

“Tsukishima, tell me you—”

“Why should I ***huk*** love you when all ***huk*** you do is hurt me?!” Tsuki screamed.

Roppi’s grip on Tsuki’s wrists tightened. The blond felt his nails dig in and that spot became warm with liquids. Tsuki could feel the werewolf shaking.

Roppi growled an inhuman growl. He grabbed Tsuki by his hips. The blond brought his hands under him, lifting himself up and taking in a selfish amount of air. He kept his head tilted back so he could breathe. With a firm grip, Roppi thrust without restraint. Tsuki called out in pain as he dug nails into the blankets.

**_‘I’ll never love you. I’ll die before I ever say I love you.’_ **

Tsuki lowered his chest ever so slight only because his arms were getting weak. He sobbed, breathing hard enough to make the blanket billow with his breath.

**_‘I could never love a beast like you. Never. Never. Never!’_ **

Tsuki’s toes curled. The pain was so intense. He was having trouble breathing. Not because his asthma was triggering. It abated since he was able to breathe properly again and never rose into an attack. He couldn’t breathe simply because the pain was taking his breath away. His moans were mixed with sobs. The blankets under him were soaked with his tears and saliva.

**_‘I’d rather die than say I can fall in love with someone who hurts me so much.’_ **

Roppi groaned with pleasure. His skin slapped against Tsuki’s with fervor. His nails dug into the blonde’s hips.

**_‘I’d rather die…’_ **


	16. Chapter 16

“Tsukishima-kun,” Toudaimoto called. “I brought you something to eat.”

There was no response.

“Tsukishima-kun?”

Toudai pushed on the door. It opened just a crack. The doctor walked in.

Tsukishima was lying on the bed. His back was to the door with his knees tucked to his chest. His arms were wrapped around his blanket and his face was buried into the scratchy fabric. His cloak covered him more than the blanket did. Toudai felt disturbed by the sight. Especially since the blonde’s pants were off—lying on the floor—and the blankets underneath him had spots of blood.

“Tsukishima-kun?” Toudai rushed over, putting the bowl of soup on the barrel by the bed.

The doctor reached a tentative hand out and touched Tsuki’s shoulder. The blond jolted. Then he turned his head just enough to look over his shoulder at Toudai.

“Did Roppi do this?”

 ** _‘Who else would do this?’_** Tsuki thought instead of responding.

The blond faced forward, his eyes puffy and red.

“How long ago was this?”

Tsuki was silent.

“Tsukishima-kun, I need to know. I can’t help you unless I know the details of your injuries.”

Tsuki didn’t want to respond. But he recalled what this doctor told him a few days before, at Izaya’s manor, about anal sex causing internal bleeding. His life could potentially be in danger if he didn’t say something. Even though death may have been what Tsuki wanted, his instincts were telling him to live.

“What-what time is it now?” Tsuki asked, his voice hoarse. He didn’t have a window in his room so he didn’t know if it was still night or day.

“It is mid-day now.”

“…It was last night. After you-you went to bed, I think.”

Toudai looked absolutely pissed at that statement. But that gaze only lasted for a moment before he composed himself to look calmly at Tsuki. “Are you still bleeding?”

Tsuki shook his head. “I don-don’t think so.”

“…I hold no ill-intention when I ask this. But may I check?”

Tsuki’s hands clenched.

“I know. I know, Tsukishima-kun.” Toudai placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I promise, it is with no ill-intentions. You recall what I told you at Orhaira-san’s house—”

“Y-yes. I-I remember. I kno-know you won’t…”

Toudai nodded. “I shall return momentarily.”

The doctor stood and left the room.

* * *

Tsukishima’s body resonated with phantom pains of his lower injuries. Toudai had treated Tsuki with complete professionalism. Although Tsuki had been scared that Toudai would deviate from his task as a doctor, his fear was proven ill-put. Luckily, Tsuki wasn’t torn internally. Toudai had talked about how, if he had been, he would have had to apply stitches to his insides. That thought terrified the blond and he was more than happy to hear it wasn’t needed. No, Roppi had just torn Tsuki’s outer rim. He tore him in three spots but there was nothing Toudai could do. The doctor cleaned the wounds and apply an ointment, so the injuries wouldn’t irritate.

Toudaimoto had told Tsuki not to move around until tomorrow just to be safe. But Tsuki couldn’t stand to stay in his room. Roppi knew where he was then. This ship was big; Tsuki was sure he could find a place to hide long enough to sleep, at least. His eyes truly hurt. They were dry and irritated. Tsuki was constantly rubbing them. His head was throbbing with a headache since he hadn’t slept for a full 24 hours now. He wanted to find a place where he could hide from Hachimenroppi to take a nap.

He was currently walking down the hall until he reached the stairs leading to a lower deck. He stepped down them, hugging himself as the temperature changed. He looked around himself. All around him were huge tubes made of black metal akin to cauldrons. They were all on wheels and had ropes wrapped around the neck of them. They were all pointed towards the wall of the boat and Tsuki could see they all had windows. Said windows were closed now so Tsuki didn’t know why it was so much colder down here.

**_‘What are these things?’_ **

“Hachimenroppi!”

Tsuki jolted, looking up the steps. **_‘That’s Toudai-san’s voice.’_**

Tsuki heard a resounding **SLAP**. The blonde’s eyes stretched wide. He had heard that over the creaking of the ship!

“Toudai—” Rubi’s voice sounded for a moment.

“You fucking—” Roppi started to yell.

“Do not act as if you do not deserve it, you beast of a man!” Toudai yelled. “Understand this, Hachimenroppi, I cannot stop you from enacting your villainy against Tsukishima. I do not have the strength to take on a bastard like you. But I warn you, treat that boy better.”

“What is this—”

“I AM TALKING! BE SILENT!”

Hachimenroppi went quiet.

**_‘Wow. Toudai-san…’_ **

“As I stated, I cannot stop you. If you are to rape Tsukishima, there is nothing I can do to stop it. However, I can demand that you treat that boy better. If I have to treat Tsukishima because you have caused him to bleed from an area he _should_ **_not_** be bleeding from, then I will take it into my own hands that you shall never touch that boy again.”

“And how the hell do you intend to do that if you can’t stop me?”

“Euthanasia.”

**_‘Eh? What’s that?’_ **

“The fucks that?”

“It’s a drug. A drug that makes one fall asleep and die. Peacefully. Without pain or consciousness of their passing.”

Tsuki’s eyes stretched wide.

“You—” Roppi started in a voice that shook, “you can’t—”

“I can and I shall. I am against the practice, however I understand that some people have no choice but to die. If you cause Tsuki’s insides to rupture because you decided to be careless and _tear him apart_ , I shall grant him a merciful death instead of heal his wounds just so he may suffer the same injuries again.”

Roppi was dead quiet.

**_‘Toudai-san…could do that for me? I-I didn’t know that was an option.’_ **

“Have I made myself clear, Hachimenroppi?”

“…Transparently…”

Tsuki felt a wave of relief wash over him. **_‘He got…He beat Roppi. He…got him to comply.’_**

Tsuki felt like crying, he was so happy. But that happiness was shoved away quickly.

**_‘No, I shouldn’t be relieved. He only quelled some of my suffering. He didn’t put a stop to it.’_ **

The blond sighed as he turned and started walking down the deck. He looked around himself, looking for something he could make himself comfortable with. As he reached the end of the deck, he found a large box with a pile of ropes next to it. Tsuki arranged the pile into a seat and sat down. It wasn’t comfortable but it wasn’t unbearable. Better than sleeping on the wood. He leaned against the box—which was extremely heavy and didn’t move under Tsuki’s weight—and rested his head against it. He pulled his hood up and stuffed his scarf into it to make a cushion. He then crossed his arms and closed his eyes.

He fell unconscious almost as soon as he body went limp.

* * *

“Hey.”

A hand on his shoulder shook Tsuki gently.

“Hey.”

The blond groaned.

“Wake up.”

The blond gasped and jolted forward, a pit of fear that it was Hachimenroppi held him firmly.

“Waaagh!” The person backed away quickly so the two didn’t bash heads.

Tsuki stared at the individual wide-eyed, panting heavily as his heart pounded in his ears. It was the sailor from yesterday. The man who stopped Tsuki’s suicide attempt.

“Wh-what—”

“Jeez, what was that about? Are you alright?”

“Wh-what do you wan-want?” Tsuki hugged himself, eyes narrowing in suspicions.

The man cocked a brow. “No need to be hostile.”

Tsuki didn’t respond. This man was the reason Tsuki was raped last night. It wasn’t the man’s fault but it’s because he interreacted with him that Roppi took acceptation to calling Tsuki a whore. If Roppi happened to see them together again, Tsuki was terrified to find out what was going to happen to him.

“Hey, are you alright?” the man asked.

“F-fine…” Tsuki sat up. “I’m f-fine.”

“Why are you sleeping on the gun deck then?”

“…No reason…” Tsuki grabbed the edge of the box and pulled himself up. “Excu-excuse me.”

Tsuki limped past the man.

“Wait,” The sailor grabbed Tsuki’s arm.

The blond flinched near violently as he tried to pull away.

“Oi, calm down.”

Tsuki started to shake, looking at the man with growing fear.

“Calm down. Jeez, you’re obviously not alright.”

“Pl-please, I need to leave…”

“Shoosh, shoosh. Calm down.”

“P-please…”

“Geez, you’re really not alright at all.”

Tsuki didn’t respond, looking at the ground.

“What did that guy do to you?”

Tsuki’s brows furrowed. He couldn’t make eye contact with him.

“Hey,” the man leaned in close. “I know something’s not right here. It’s pretty fucking obvious. Are you in trouble, or something? Is that guy blackmailing you?”

**_‘I can’t tell you. If I do then Roppi-san will be…’_ **

Tsuki’s eyes stretched wide as realization hit him.

**_‘I could tell these people Hachimenroppi’s the only werewolf and they’d kill only him.’_ **

Tsuki felt no guilt over the notion of getting Roppi killed. He didn’t care. He wanted Roppi to be gone from his life as soon as possible. He wanted Roppi to suffer just a fraction of what he had put Tsuki through. Boiling hatred resonated in his chest towards the werewolf. It festered and almost became painful to hold onto it.

“Wh-what would you do…” Tsuki started, “if I to-told you there was a w-werewolf on this ship?”

The man’s eyes widened. “A werewolf?”

Tsuki nodded.

“…Is there one?”

Tsuki nodded. “Roppi-san, the m-man who brought me on this-this ship. He-he’s a werewolf.”

“…Have you seen him transform?”

Tsuki nodded. “If-If you get him ma-mad at night, h-he’ll st-start transforming.”

“…If he’s a werewolf, are you one too?”

Tsuki shook his head. “Ro-Roppi-san, he…he kid-kidnapped me. He too-took me from my village. He said th-that the holy order would hunt me d-down because of how I looked. I…I didn’t want to go but he-he didn’t g-give me a choice.”

“Why would he steal a human from a village?”

“He s-says he loves…me…but I’ve never—I’m a good Chri-Christian! I would ne-never deviate from God! I tried—I tried to convince him, but-but he says he loves me and be-because he loves me, I’m not allowed to leave hi-his side!”

Tsuki felt the tears begin to sting his eyes once again. He clenched his teeth and tilted his head down. With the floodgates opened, Tsuki bore his soul to this stranger

“I don—I don’t know wh-what to do. I…yesterday, I tr-tried to kill myself be-because I just…There’s nothing else I can do. I tried. I tried to get away-away from him. But he c-caught me and I…. _hic_ , I just don’t know what to do any-anymore. I wanna go home but-but I can’t. He won’t…”

“You’re not lying to me, are you?”

Tsuki looked up at the man wide-eyed, tears streaking his cheeks. “Of-of course not!”

The man put his hands on Tsuki’s cheeks, so the blond had to look at him. His calluses scratched his flesh slightly.

“If you are a good Christian then you cannot lie, right?”

“Th-that’s r-r-r-right.”

“So, everything you said is true?”

“Y-yes.”

“Including the part about the werewolf.”

“Y-yes, yes! It’s-It’s all true!”

The man didn’t say anything for a while. He stared at Tsuki, looking for the traces of a lie. Sizing up the blond, trying to decipher whether he was being vindictive or honest.

The man then sighed softly. “We need to tell the captain. He’ll know what to do.”

Tsuki looked at him with growing relief. “Th-th-thank you. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me just yet.” The man turned to the stairs, still holding Tsuki’s wrist. “What the captain says goes.”

Tsuki nodded. “S-still, than-thank you, re-regardless of the out-outcome. At least—at least you believe me.”

The man didn’t respond. The two made their way up the decks without running into Hachimenroppi. Tsukishima was relieved and thanked God for that. Darkness cascaded the blond once they reached the top deck. Tsuki must have slept all day as night had taken over the sky once again. The sailor led the way to the door under the steering wheel deck.

He banged on the door rather harshly. “Captain! It’s Hiyoshi!”

The door opened. “What is it?”

The sailor looked over his shoulder at Tsukishima. “This kid has something to tell you.”

The captain looked at Tsukishima. The blond tried not to flinch under the gaze of such an intimidating man. The captain was nearly two heads taller than Tsukishima with very dark skin. His eyes were narrowed out of principal. But that wasn’t what intimidated Tsuki. What intimidating him was the piercing blue eyes he had. Eyes that rivaled ice they were so light.

“Well, come on in, kid.” The captain held the door open.

Tsuki nodded nervously before stepping forward. Hiyoshi stepped to the side. Tsuki stared at him wide-eyed.

“Y-you’re not com-coming with?”

“You’re fine. I’ll be out here.”

Tsuki swallowed his nervousness and nodded.

The blond stepped into the captain’s quarters. The room was extremely elegant, with red-carpeted floors and a beautiful mahogany desk at the back by the wall that could only be considered a window. His bed was built into the wall, soft and plush. Tsuki questioned why the captain’s quarters were so amazing while the guess quarters were…well, shabby. He decided not to voice that question aloud.

The captain closed the door behind Tsukishima loudly. The blond jolted.

“So,” the captain said, “What is it you want to tell me?”

 “Um…” Tsuki turned around to stare at him.

Nervousness really started to pool in his chest. It looked almost like the man was blocking Tsukishima’s exit as he leaned back against the door with his arms crossed.

“Um, w-well. Well…I…”

“Speak.” The man growled.

Tsuki swallowed hard. He closed his eyes tight shut and tilted his head down. He worked up the courage to speak before he wavered.

“I-I-I know—there’s—the man who bro-brought me onto th-this ship. Hachimenroppi. He-he’s a were-werewolf.”

The captain was quiet. Eerily quiet. Tsuki looked up.

The man was glaring down at him. Pure hatred made those blue eyes glow. Tsuki took a step back out of reflex.

“Is he now?” the captain growled. “Is he really a werewolf?”

“Um…y-yes…”

“And what do you think I’m gong to do by telling me this?”

“I…I th-thought…I—”

“What, did you thinking that if you told me I would kill him?”

“I—”

Tsuki was grabbed by his mouth. The blonde’s eyes stretched wide as he was pushed backwards. He grabbed the man’s wrists, his feet stumbling and mostly dragging against the ground. Tsuki was slammed against the desk top. His wounds spasmed painfully and he called out underneath the hand.

“Listen here, human.” The man growled down at Tsukishima. “This ship is providing safe voyage to Taiwan for monsters of all kind. _No one_ on this ship is human. Except for you. And that doctor. Humans are only an exception if they’re mated to their monster. That’s the _only_ reason you were allowed to board this ship.”

Horrendous popping sounds came from the man’s head. The bottom half of his face elongated into a snout, just like Roppi’s did the other night. Tsuki’s eyes stretched wide with horror.

  ** _‘He’s a werewolf too!’_**

“The only reason I don’t kill you right now is because it’s not my place to do so. Your ‘mate’ will be notified of this, rest assured. He’ll take care of you properly.”

“Nm! Nm!” Tsuki kicked wildly, trying to pull the man’s hand off.

The man squeezed Tsuki’s jaw. The blond called out in pain although it was muffled. The man leaned down close, his inhuman mouth centimeters from Tsuki’s face.

“Get out of my sight. I don’t want to see you till you’re leaving my fucking ship.”

The captain pulled Tsuki up by his jaw and turned around quickly. He threw Tsuki towards the door. The blond called out before he slammed into the floor. His injury on his shoulder spasmed in immense pain as he felt something pop. Tsuki reached up to his shoulder out of reflex and put his hand in his shirt. He pulled his hand back to see blood on his fingertips.

Tsuki looked up at the captain. Fear filled Tsuki’s chest as he started to shake uncontrollably. Saliva was drizzling from the man’s elongated teeth. He could probably smell the blood. He was going to look at Tsuki like dinner in a moment if the blond didn’t run now.

Tsuki pushed himself to his feet and ran to the door. He grabbed the golden door handle and pulled the wood open. Tsuki rushed out like a bat out of hell.

Hiyoshi and Tsuki made eye contact for a moment. The sailor’s eyes widened.

 _“_ No one _on this ship is human.”_

**_‘He’s not either. He-he knew the captain would...’_ **

Tsuki ran past him towards the stairs of the lower deck.

“Hey, wait! What happened?! Wait, are you bleeding?!”

Tsuki ran so fast down the steps he tripped. He slammed into the wooden floor, but he felt no pain. The fear made him numb to everything. Although his body thudding to the ground was loud. It enticed Rubi and Toudai to stick their heads out of their room and look to see what happened.

“Tsuki?”

The blond didn’t respond as he pushed himself to his feet. He ran past them without a care and went down the stairs on the other end of the deck.

“Wait, Tsuki!”

He ignored him. He ran and ran and ran. He went down another flight of stairs and went down a deck lower than the gun deck. The place was filled with boxes and bags and it was nearly pitch black. The only source of light was a solitary lantern. Tsuki ran into the darkest part of the deck and hunkered down behind some boxes.

**_‘I’m surrounded by monsters! I’m all alone! No one’s ever going to help me!’_ **

Tsuki broke down. He hugged his knees to his chest and cried into his legs. How he still had tears to cry, he didn’t know. How he could still sob, he didn’t know. All he really knew was that everything was utterly hopeless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I understand now~! I understand why it takes translators so long to put out doujinshi's. Translating it relatively easy. I'm having no problem doing it. It's just typesetting the pages afterwards. That's the real pain in the ass. I've got like five doujinshi's translated, but I just don't want to typeset them. :/


	17. Chapter 17

Tsuki didn’t leave that storage deck for the next two days of their voyage. He wasn’t safe anywhere else on the ship. The darkness of this deck was his only comfort. It was freezing down there. The temperature was much colder than the gun deck, to the point where if Tsuki unraveled his cloak for even a moment, he would start to shiver. The cold bothered his asthma, but he refused to go anywhere else. He had nowhere else to go. So, he just tucked his nose into his scarf and hugged himself for warmth. He never had an attack, luckily.

The only reason Tsuki did leave was because the boat stopped moving. It was still rocking with the waves but there was no momentum behind the movements.

**_‘Have…have we arrived to Taiwan?’_ **

Tsuki didn’t want to move. No one had come to get him. Hachimenroppi hadn’t even tried to look for him as far as he knew. Two full days without interaction with anyone. He hadn’t ate and only slept in short bursts. No one had come looking for him. And now, if no one came looking for him still, maybe…

**_‘Could I…just hide here and ride the ship back to Japan? Would anyone know I was here?’_ **

It was a fleeting thought. He wanted to do that, but he knew Roppi wouldn’t let him. He’d find him. Eventually.

But that didn’t mean Tsuki had to make it easy for him. So, the blond wasn’t going to move. He would wait until someone found him. If no one found him then great. He had a free trip back to Japan.

“Tsuki!”

The blond heard Roppi’s voice. The small flicker of hope began to die immediately.

“Tsukishima! Where are you?”

He didn’t respond.

“Hey, are you down here?”

Roppi’s voice was closer. Tsuki still didn’t respond.

The blond heard the wood creak with footsteps. The room became illuminated with a lantern. Tsuki said nothing as the light casted over him. He closed his eyes tight shut. It was too bright. His eyes had become accustom to the dark.

“There you are. What are you doing down here?”

Tsuki didn’t respond.

“Well, I guess I know why.”

Tsuki heard the lantern clink as it was set on a box. The box then creaked with additional weight. Tsuki opened his eyes to see Roppi sitting on the box in front of him.

“The captain told me what happened.”

Tsuki didn’t respond, glaring to the side.

“Were you trying to kill me?”

Tsuki just hugged himself tighter.

Roppi sat down in front of Tsuki. The blond pushed himself back until he was pressed against a box. Roppi scooted closer. Tsuki turned his head away as if that would get him farther from Roppi. The werewolf brought his face inches from Tsuki’s. The blond closed his eye tight shut and stiffened.

**_‘Please. Please don’t hit me. Please don’t hurt me.’_ **

Tsuki was kissed, gently, on his cheek. The blonde’s eyes stretched wide.

“I’m not angry with you.” Roppi said in a gentle voice. “I…probably deserve it. After what you said and…Toudai told me I tore you. It would make sense that you don’t want to be around me for a while.”

Tsuki said nothing.

“I’m…sorry. I know I’m not doing a good job making you happy. I’m going to try harder. I promise.”

**_‘It won’t matter how hard you try. You’ll never make me happy.’_ **

Roppi kissed Tsuki’s forehead. “We made it to Taiwan. It’s time for us to go.”

Tsuki didn’t respond.

Roppi ruffled the blonde’s hair. “Wow, you got frost in your hair. Did you have an asthma attack while you were down here?”

Tsuki made eye contact with him. He then sighed in defeat and shook his head.

“That’s good.” Roppi stood. He held a hand out to him. “Come on. We have to go.”

Tsuki didn’t want to. There was no way to describe how much he didn’t want to go with this man. But he knew. He didn’t have a choice.

Tsuki sighed heavily in defeat. He reached up and grabbed Roppi’s hand. The black-haired werewolf smiled softly and pulled Tsuki to his feet.

As soon as Tsuki stood, he was hit with a nauseating sensation of lightheadedness. He fell forward. Roppi wrapped his arms around the blond and held him close.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong? Is it your ankle?”

Tsuki didn’t respond, panting heavily. His stomach twisted painfully. He recognized the agony as hunger pains. He hadn’t eaten in two days but because he didn’t move, he barely noticed the sensation. Now he definitely noticed it. His body disagreed with him greatly.

Roppi rubbed the back of Tsuki’s head soothingly. “What’s wrong? Are you too cold?”

“…Hungry…”

“Hungr—Oh, yeah. You haven’t eaten since you’ve been down here, huh?”

Tsuki didn’t respond.

“Come on. We’ll get you something to eat once we get off the boat.”

Roppi hunkered down and put his arm underneath Tsuki’s knees. The blond gasped as he was lifted off the ground bridal style. Tsuki wrapped his arms around Roppi’s neck. The werewolf turned and stepped over the boxes. He headed towards the stairs.

“I…I can w-walk.”

Are you sure?” Roppi looked down at him as he went up the steps. “Does your ankle feel okay?”

Tsuki nodded. **_‘I don’t want the crew mates to judge me.’_**

“…Okay.”

Once they were on the gun deck, Roppi put Tsuki down. The blond stood on shaky legs and leaned against Roppi. He hugged the werewolf’s arm to his chest and rubbed his forehead against Roppi’s shoulder.

“Are you sure you can walk?”

Tsuki nodded.

The two walked. Tsuki was still limping heavily. He leaned against Roppi heavily while the brunette slowed his pace so as not to rush the blond. They went up the two decks until both were blinded by intense sunlight. Roppi groaned. Tsuki whined and rubbed his eyes. He pulled his hood over his head to help shield his eyes.

“There you two are.”

Tsuki flinched to the voice he recognized. He quickly turned and hid behind Roppi. He didn’t want to talk to the captain again. Not after what happened.

“Your companions are already off the ship.”

“Thanks.” Roppi said.

The captain leaned over. Tsuki looked up at him for a split second to see the man was looking down at him. The blond flinched and turned his head away.

“Before you go,” The captain said. “I had a talk with one of my crew men. He had some interesting things to say about you two, so I have to ask. What’s the nature of your relationship?”

Tsuki looked up at him with wide eyes. If he explained the truth behind his situation, would he take pity on him and take him home? Could he—

Roppi glanced down at Tsuki. There was a slight glare. But it was just enough to give Tsuki the warning he needed. _Don’t say anything._

Tsuki stared up at the captain. Then he grabbed the edge of his hood and pulled it down to hide his swollen eyes, tilting his head down.

“That’s not really any of your business.” Roppi said, turning around. “Thank you for the voyage.”

Roppi tugged Tsuki along. The blond followed, still limping, with his gaze on the floor. The captain didn’t try to stop them.

The two walked up the ramp off the ship. They stepped onto the dock. Tsukishima looked up. There was a simple town in front of him. These people were much better off than Tsuki’s village. The houses looked like they had paper doors, which Tsuki wasn’t used to seeing before. There was a shrine off to the far right in the distance. All types of animals were scurrying around the crowd, ranging from horses to cats. Everyone looked genuinely happy.

Tsuki hated it.

“Hey,” Roppi walked over to Rubi. Toudai, Sakuraya, and Shitsuo stood behind the white wolf. “Tsuki hasn’t eaten so I’m going to go get him something to eat. Here.” Roppi pulled out a pouch from his duffle and rummaged through it. He held a handful of some coins that didn’t look like yen to Tsuki and shoved them into his pocket. He then held the pouch out to Rubi. “Go buy the supplies with the rest of this. We’ll met up with you on the outskirts of town towards that mountain range.”

Rubi looked down at Tsuki. The teenager didn’t know why nor cared as the white wolf said, “Alright.”

The group went their separate ways. Roppi tugged Tsuki along off the dock and deeper into the town. The blond looked over his shoulder at the ship. His only means of going home was going to be sailing away from him. And there was nothing he could do about it. The two continued walking even though Tsuki wasn’t watching where he was going. The blond watched the ship until it was out of sight behind buildings. A gut-wrenching feeling hit him. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the hunger or the sadness that he was officially marooned with a crazy, love-struck werewolf.

He decided it was the hunger only because he didn’t feel like crying anymore today.

* * *

 

“You guys took a long time.” Rubi commented.

“Yeah. Tsuki ate a lot.” Roppi said as the two walked up.

“Well, we got everyone some thicker clothes and about eight pounds of meat. We’ve got pork and beef and some chicken. Here.” Rubi held out a bag of clothes to Tsukishima. “These are for you.”

“Th-thank you…” The blond muttered in a small voice and took them.

He reached inside and pulled out a button-up shawl with sleeves. It was thick and a bit heavy. He draped it over his arm and reached back into the bag. Next was a pair of white gloves.

“You didn’t get more under armor, did you?” Roppi asked, tugging the edge of the bag to peer inside.

“I bought extras but not specifically for him, no. Just in case any of ours gets screwed up. He should have a kilt in there.”

“Okay, good.”

Tsukishima reached in and grabbed a woolen item. The blond cocked a brow as he pulled out a skirt. It was thick and made of brown wool, with a smaller skirt sown in seemingly to keep the genitals warmer.

“W-why is there a skirt he-here?”

“It’s a kilt.” Rubi said.

“It l-looks like a skirt.”

“You’ve never heard of a kilt before, have you?”

Tsuki shook his head.

“It’s not a skirt. It’s meant for men to wear.”

“Why would m-men want to wear a skirt?”

“Oh my—It’s not a skirt! It’s a cultural thing!”

Tsuki decided not to argue with him anymore. “Do I-I have to-to wear this?”

“We all are.”

Tsuki looked down at Toudai’s crotch region. He indeed had on a woolen ‘kilt’ over his pants, so did Rubi and Shitsuo. Tsuki couldn’t see Sakuraya’s under the white yukata he wore.

“You can just slip it on over your pants, Tsuki-kun.” Toudai said softly. “It’ll keep you warmer without inhibiting your mobility.”

Tsuki glanced down to see there was a slit up the right side of Toudai’s skirt. He then glanced to the side. He didn’t feel like talking so he just bent down and lifted one foot. He pulled the kilt on and slid it up his thighs. The wool skirt hugged Tsuki’s crotch uncomfortably tight. He pulled on it to try and get it to loosen. He heard the fabric snap as it stretched.

“Don’t do that.” Roppi said.

“It’s un-uncomfor-fortable.”

“It’ll keep you warm.”

Tsuki’s brows furrowed. He then sighed. **_‘Ignore it. Ignore it.’_**

The blond reached up and pulled off his scarf. He draped it over his arm before untying his cloak. He draped the billowing black fabric over his arm as well.

“Eh? Tsuki? Are you bleeding?”

Tsuki looked up at him.

“Your shirt.” Roppi touched Tsuki’s shoulder blade. “Does that hurt?”

Tsuki looked over his shoulder. He felt the sting but had said nothing. He reached his hand up and patted the spot. It hurt to touch but his hand came back dry.

“Let me see.” Toudai rushed over and stood behind the blond. “Take off your shirt.”

Tsuki ignored the fact that everyone was staring at him and that he was outside in the snow. He couldn’t bring himself to care as the realization of his hopeless situation rose a new bubble of depression. He lost all form of apathy. For if he didn’t, he would have to acknowledge his fate was made official. He was never going home, and he was stuck on this island until Roppi said so or he died. And he didn’t want to think about that. He didn’t want to cry anymore. He just wanted…

He just wanted everything to be over. He couldn’t care about anything anymore.

He began unbuttoning his shirt.

“Don’t strip!” Roppi growled. “It’ll trigger your asthma.”

“I need to see his injury.”

“It’s freezing out! We’re right next to the sea!”

“He’s _bleeding_! He’ll be even colder with soaked clothes.”

“The blood’s dry.”

“That’s a lot of blood, Roppi-kun! I need to check his stitches!”

“He’s going to have an asthma—”

Tsuki shrugged the button up off and tossed it on the snow. The shirt was soiled so why should he care to keep it? He then grabbed the bottom of his under armor and pulled the shirt up. The shirt peeled off over the blood spot—as it had stuck to his skin—and pulled against his wound. He hissed in pain slightly.

“Oh, geez.” Toudai said, touching the area around the wound.

“How’d you tear your stiches?” Roppi asked, leaning forward to make eye contact with him.

 ** _‘The captain much have…’_** Tsuki didn’t respond.

“I need to clean this. Come,” Toudai tugged Tsuki’s arm. “Sit on this log.”

Tsuki obeyed. He sat down on a log, the wood barren of snow. He couldn’t even feel the cold over the woolen skirt. Although, his top half had broken out in goosebumps and his chest was starting to hurt.

“Rubi, give him a blanket.” Toudai commanded.

The white-haired man obeyed.

“Here, wait a minute.” Roppi said. “We’re not that far from the shine. They should provide sanctuary for all, so we can go there and clean his wounds.”

“But,” Rubi started, “if they find out what we are—”

“They’re not like the church. The worse they’ll try to do is exorcise us or ‘begone evil spirits’ us.”

Toudai looked up at Roppi. The doctor glowered for a moment then looked at Tsuki.

“That’s a good idea…” Toudai seemed quite loathed to admit that.

Tsuki wasted no time in putting his under armor back on. It wasn’t because he was particularly worried about his own well-being—because he wasn’t. He just wanted to get this over with. He didn’t bother putting on his scarf or cloak. He hugged the fabric to his chest while Rubi put the blanket back in the duffle.

The group made their way to the shrine. Tsuki coughed slightly as his throat started to ache but he made no attempt to rectify the problem. He didn’t care to.

The party was to the shrine in less than ten minutes. They walked in and were approached by a man, wearing clothes similar to what Sakuraya wore. The man spoke a language Tsuki didn’t understand.

“Um,” Rubi said, “We don’t know Taiwanese. Um—”

Toudai started talking the strange language. Everyone looked at him wide-eyed, even Tsuki and especially Rubi.

“You know Taiwanese?!” Rubi called.

“Technically, Taiwan doesn’t have their own language. They speak Mandarin, it’s just a bit different.”

“What’s Mandring?” Tsuki asked.

“It’s what the Chinese speak.” Roppi informed.

“…”

“You don’t know who the Chinese are, do you?”

Tsuki shook his head. Roppi just sighed and turned away.

The doctor continued talking to the man, gesturing to Tsukishima. The man nodded and waved for them to follow.

“He said he shall provide up a room, so we do not disturb the other guests.” Toudai said.

“O-okay.” Tsuki said.

“Alright.” Roppi stated.

The group went deeper into the shrine.

“I can’t believe you know Mandarin.” Rubi voiced. “You never told me you could speak more than one language.”

“You never asked.” Toudai smiled at him warmly. “I have many skills, my love.”

“What else can you do?” Rubi intertwined his fingers with Toudai’s.

 ** _‘So shameless.’_** Tsuki glanced to the side.

“I can speak English, as well.”

“Wha—”

“The man who taught me the roles of a doctor. As you know, he was from the west. He had originally stopped by China to learn, then came to Japan. He taught me the languages.”

“Wow!” Rubi beamed. “You really are impressive! I’m starting to think you are out of my league.”

“Yet you ended up with me anyhow.” Toudai wrapped his arm around Rubi’s like a lovestruck teenage girl.

**_‘Gross…’_ **

“I’d like us to be like that one day.” Roppi whispered those sickening words in Tsuki’s ear.

The blond jolted away more rudely than was appropriate. He hugged the cloak tightly to his chest and created a bit of distance between him and the crazed werewolf. Roppi immediately looked hurt by that. He then glared and threw his gaze to the side. He stuck his nose up and walked a faster pace, leaving Tsuki at the back of the pack.

The group entered a room. It was barren of anything but a table.

Toudai seemingly thanked the man as he bowed, and the man left.

Tsuki sat down by the table. Toudai went up behind the blond and put his doctor’s bag on the table. Tsuki felt uncomfortable letting the deviant touch him after such an open display of his sin. But Tsuki ignored that feeling, knowing there was nothing he could do about this situation.

The doctor wiped Tsuki’s wound with a pungent liquid. The liquid stung and the blond cringed.

“I do not think I can stitch the wound closed again.” Toudai said. “Attempting to may put too much strain on the stitch and it shall tear again.”

“What’re we doing then?” Roppi asked.

“We’ll keep the wound bandaged. It will need to be cleaned every three to five hours until it heals fully.”

“How much longer does he have?”

“The rest of the wound should heal in the next few days. This will take another few weeks.”

“Tsuki,” Rubi leaned forward. “How’d you tear the stitches open?”

Tsuki glanced up at him. Then threw his gaze to the ground and motioned a small shrug.

“Was it Roppi?” Toudai asked.

Tsuki’s eyes widened and he stiffened.

“Thought so.”

“N-n-no. It was-wasn’t him.” Tsuki called quickly.

“There’s no need to lie. It is not as if any of us are in a position to enact punishment on him. Nor is he in a position to deny it.”

Roppi said nothing.

“But it really was-wasn’t him…” Tsuki’s voice became quieter.

**_‘No one’s listening to me. Even if they were, no one would believe me, huh?’_ **

Tsuki glanced at Roppi. They made eye contact before the kidnapper looked elsewhere. Guilt crossed his feature.

**_‘I guess this is fine. He deserves some form of pain.’_ **

“Well, clean up the wound and we’ll head on our way.” Roppi said, standing. “I’ll be outside.”

“Alright.”

The black-haired werewolf left. The tension in the room abated immediately.

Toudaimoto spent the next fifteen minutes dressing Tsuki’s shoulder with bandages. Rubi gave Tsuki a new under armor shirt and a pink button up. The blond put them on, then put on the shawl he had gotten. He tied his cloak around his neck then wrapped his scarf over the knot. He was ready to go.

The group exited the room. Roppi was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He looked up at Toudai immediately.

“He alright to go?” The werewolf asked.

“No more roughing him up.” Toudai said. “If I could, I would tell you no sex but obviously that’s a fruitless order for a beast like you.”

Roppi’s his eyes narrowed. But he said nothing as he stood up straight.

“And stop making him walk on that ankle. It will take six to twelve weeks before he shall be able to return to normal mobility. That time will be extended if he keeps walking on it.”

“I—but—he said—”

“To-Toudai-san,” Tsuki started, “I-I-I said I coul-could wa—”

“Don’t make excuses for him.” Toudai looked down at Tsuki. “You have no reason to defend his actions.”

“But…”

Roppi growled in obvious annoyance. Tsuki worried for his safety now. At least, for the safety of his body and the abuse he will most-likely endure. Toudai was accusing Roppi of acts that weren’t his fault. No down, Roppi would eventually take it out on the blond.

However, Roppi did nothing and said nothing. He turned and headed down the hall. The group of men followed, walking towards the exit. And subsequently, towards Tsuki new future of never-ending suffering.


	18. Chapter 18

“Are we going to make camp soon?” Sakuraya asked.

“No.” Roppi said. “We’re going to transform and keep going?”

“Eh?”

“Hachimen-san,” Shitsuo said, “With all due respect, we’ve been walking all day. Our feet are tired.”

“Your feet are tired? I’ve been carrying Tsuki all day and still maintained a faster speed than you.”

Shitsuo said nothing, looking quite offended.

Roppi turned around to look at his party. He would have looked over his shoulder but Tsuki on his back was obscuring his view.

“We’re going to be going to those mountains.” Roppi gestured with his head, “we’ll get there faster if we transform.”

“But,” Rubi said, “What we should do is rest up for tonight and tomorrow until night fall. We can just laze tomorrow then start walking at nightfall.”

“That’s a waste of time. We could continue on till half the night and sleep until dawn.”

“You and I could. But Shitsuo and Sakuraya aren’t used to this much moving around. They’ll tire quicker.”

Roppi glowered. “They’ll keep up because they have to.”

“Or they won’t and start falling behind. And so, we have to slow down for them. It’s going to be the same waste of time anyway, so we might as well rest up and we can make the most progress.”

“Making the most progress would be slowing down so they can keep up. Any form of progress is still progress. If we sit around till tomorrow night, we’re not getting anywhere.”

“Bring into account that Toudai and Tsuki will have to move twice as fast to keep up with us and Tsuki can’t walk.”

“We’re carrying them.”

“Our spines will suffer.”

“So, you expect us to remain in human form when we can easily man up and carry them?”

“…I never said that.”

Roppi rolled his eyes. “How about this? _You_ guys can make camp. Tsuki and I are going to keep going.”

Rubi jolted. “Oi, we can’t separate. We don’t know what other monsters may have come here. What if you—”

“If I can face a lycan then I can face anything.” Roppi looked to the horizon. Sunset had just past and the sky gave away to a faint night. He put down his duffle and began taking off his coat.

“Face a—you _lost_ that fight!”

“Doesn’t change anything.” Roppi folded his coat and put it in the duffle.

“You’re just being stubborn. Roppi, think about Tsuki here.”

“I am.” Roppi stripped off his shirt. “The quicker we get to that mountain, the quicker we can find a proper den and the quicker I can make a nice cozy room for him.”

“But—”

“You know what?” Roppi pulled off one shoe and took off his sock. He did the same with the other foot and shoved his socks into the duffle. “We could let Sakuraya and Shitsuo rest by carrying them while we walk.”

“Walking with two people on our back? That’ll weight us down and wear us down.”

“Better than stopping all-together.” Roppi tied his shoe laces together around the strap of his duffle.

The werewolf then pulled off his pants. And he did not have underwear on. Tsuki and Toudai turned so they saw nothing. Sakuraya and Shitsuo looked to the sky.

Rubi kept eye contact with Roppi without looking down once. “I can’t convince you otherwise, can I?”

“You know if you could, you would’ve already.”

“…Guess that’s true.” Rubi sighed heavily. “Alright, fine.”

Rubi began to strip as well.

Roppi folded his pants and stuffed them into the duffle. He clasped it close then started moving the strap. He made it so there was a gap between the strap and the sack. He then hopped over it to the other side, away from the group.

Rubi finished stuffing his duffle and joined him in the empty space, completely naked. Tsuki didn’t know why but he snuck a glance at the white-haired man. He was shocked to see that the carpet matched the drapes before he realized he was staring at another man’s cock. He quickly turned away, putting his hands over his face as he blushed.

Rubi gave Roppi a wide girth. The two sat down on their knees and did nothing.

Then they both groaned. The noise prompted Tsuki to look again. They dug their hands into the snow as their muscles tightened. Horrendous popping sounds came from their bodies. Tsuki hugged himself as fear pooled in his chest.

**_‘They’re transforming. They’re—’_ **

Roppi let out a loud yelp of pain. It was deformed, a cross between a human yell and a dog’s yip. He arched his back and clenched his teeth hard. A tail sprouted from his back as his bone contorted within his flesh. Rubi’s body was making the same disgusting noises and visuals. Tsuki backed away, his eyes wide with horror.

 ** _‘How is this normal? How is this something God brought onto this world?’_** Tsuki closed his eyes tight shut. **_‘No matter how many people say werewolves are born, there’s no way they can do this and not be a child of the devil! It’s just not possible.’_**

“Tsuki-kun,” Toudai’s voice drew the blond out of his fear. He jolted and looked at the doctor. “I know, it looks quite demented, the way they turn. I’ve seen it a few times and I still feel uncomfortable.”

“It-it’s not natural. It—”

“No, it is not.” Toudai looked at them. “No creature should have to go through such pain just to take on a form that is theirs.”

 ** _‘…That’s not what I was talking about.’_** Tsuki stared up at Toudai, who’s eyes were fixed on Roppi and Rubi. **_‘How can you be so compassionate towards these monstrosities? You’re human too. Even if you’re a deviant, choosing monsters over your own species isn’t right. What has happened to you to deprave you to this point?’_**

It became quiet and the sound of dogs shaking out their pelts could be heard. Tsuki looked back to see Rubi and Roppi were giant wolves. They stepped over to their duffle’s and shoved their noses underneath their strap. They shook their heads to get the duffle’s around their necks like giant collars. They then sat on their back legs and used their front paws to push the duffle’s, so the sack was on the back of their neck.

Tsuki couldn’t take his eyes off of the black wolf that was Hachimenroppi. His once beautiful pelt that Tsuki had only see a few times before was now destroyed with crisscrossing lines of missing fur. The wounds from the lycan attack had healed, it would seem, and left deep scars in their place. The wolf looked quite grotesque—making him even more terrifying.

The white wolf walked over to Toudai. Tsuki jolted and backed away, stepping away from the deviant. Toudaimoto looked back at him. “Tsuki-kun, it’s alright. He shan’t hurt you.”

Tsuki shook his head. “Th-th-this isn’t-isn’t—”

The black wolf growled before he stepped around the white one. He sauntered towards Tsuki.

“N-no, no!” Tsuki shook his head wildly, tears stinging his eyes as the fear gripped him hard.

“Roppi-kun, you are frightening him.” Toudai said.

Roppi looked over his shoulder as he growled. He looked back at Tsuki. He stared at him for a long moment.

**_‘Never turn your back on a wolf. Never turn your back on a wolf.’_ **

Roppi hunkered down to the ground.

 ** _‘Is he—’_** Tsuki took a step back. **_‘Is he going to pounce?’_**

Tsuki didn’t know. Roppi was resting completely against the ground. He was sitting on his hindlegs in a way that made him unable to pounce forward. He rested his head between his front paws and let out a pitiful whimper. He looked absolutely non-threatening.

Tsuki swallowed hard before rubbing the tears from his eyes. **_‘He—is he trying to look cute or something?’_**

Roppi slunk closer.

“C-ca-can you ju-just…” Tsuki took another step back. “Can’t we just walk no-normally?”

The wolf shook his head.

Tsuki inhaled deeply before letting it out. **_‘He can understand. He’s not a dumb wolf based on instinct. I don’t know if that’s more terrifying or not.’_**

Roppi slunk closer again. Looking as unthreatening as he could, he crawled paw by paw until he stood in front of Tsuki. The scared teen had to fight every instinct in his body so he wouldn’t run away. The werewolf raised his head slightly. His black nose touched Tsuki’s hands. The blond flinched away.

“He’s not going to hurt you, Tsuki.” Toudai walked over. “He’s the same man he was before.”

“The sa-same man he was be-before has hurt m-me pretty badly al-already…”

A whine resounded in Roppi’s throat before it changed into a growl. Tsuki flinched away. Those red eyes filled with guilt before they narrowed and looked away. Roppi turned his head away and stood up properly. Tsuki flinched away again before he rushed over to Toudai. The doctor held his arms out to provide Tsuki support once he was within arms’ reach.

Roppi looked over at Tsuki. He walked over before turning around, his tail flicking across Tsuki’s chest. The wolf stood with his side towards the frightened teenager. He then dropped the front half of his body against the ground and raised one paw slightly. Tsuki didn’t know what he was doing.

“Come,” Toudai gently guided Tsuki closer. “Have you ever ridden a horse bareback before?”

“N-no. My-my village did-didn’t have horses to ri-ride.”

“You never rode one for farm work?”

Tsuki shook his head. “We-we haven’t had hor-horses since the we-werewolf arrived.”

“…I see. Okay.”

Toudai tapped Roppi’s raised forepaw. “Put your foot here then swing your other leg over his back. Sit behind his shoulder blades, here.” Toudai tapped the spot on Roppi’s furry back.

Tsuki hesitated. He didn’t want to touch this beast. He swallowed hard and worked up the bit of courage he had left. He grabbed the wolf’s protruding shoulder blade and stepped on the raised limb. He pulled himself up, then leaned himself heavily against his shoulder and swung his leg over. He sat down on the wolf’s back.

Roppi put his foot down and stood upright. Tsuki gasped as he started to slide off one side. Toudai responded quickly and grabbed Tsuki’s leg and arm. The doctor tugged the blond back upright.

“Grab onto his fur. You should take off your gloves. Roppi’s body heat should keep your hands warm. Grab his fur until your hands are buried in it. If you can grab the skin, I would suggest that.”

“Bu-but…wo-won’t that hu-hurt?”

“No. Like this, he’s got extra skin—just like a normal dog does, so the mother can grab them by their scruff. This is no different.”

“O-okay.”

Tsuki did as he was told. The fur was warm and soft to the touch.

“Now, you’re going to want to squeeze Roppi’s ribs with your knees. Don’t vice grip on him—that will hurt him—but just enough that you don’t go sliding anywhere while he’s moving.”

Tsuki nodded and did as told.

“Who’s riding with Tsukishima-kun?” Toudai turned to look at Shitsuo and Sakuraya.

“I-I shall.” Sakuraya said.

Roppi growled and shook his head.

“O-oh. Okay.”

Toudai cocked a brow. “What?”

“He said that’d be too light for him while too heavy for Rubi.” Shitsuo said. “I shall ride with Tsukishima.”

“But Roppi-kun is smaller than Rubi.” Toudai stated. “I would argue that Rubi is stronger of the two.”

Roppi’s lip pulled back in a snarl.

Toudai glared at him. “I am not saying you are weaker than Rubi. From what Rubi said, you would win in a fight. But not because you are stronger, however because you are faster and more limber. It would be best to have the lighter individuals on the smaller werewolf, else you will tire before Rubi.”

Roppi growled. Then snorted. He rolled his eyes and turned his head up. Rubi came over and let out a small yip. Roppi growled again. Rubi looked at Shitsuo.

“Rubi says Toudai shall ride with Tsukishima to keep the boy calm. We shall ride with Rubi.”

Sakuraya looked relieved to hear it. Tsuki noticed that.

 _“I don’t know if they’re siblings or lovers. They’re always togethers and that’s as far as I know.”_ Roppi’s words rang clear in Tsuki’s mind.

**_‘What is there relationship like? They don’t look like siblings. They must be lovers.’_ **

Tsuki stared at the two strange pair.

**_‘Are all monsters deviants? Sakuraya is not a girl, is he? He’s not wearing women’s clothes.’_ **

Sakuraya and Shitsuo walked over to Rubi. The white wolf bent down just like Roppi had and allowed Sakuraya to climb up. Roppi didn’t lower himself again, however he bent his foot for Toudai to use as a step. The doctor climbed, grabbing Tsuki’s arm to pull himself up. He swung his leg behind Tsuki and hopped off Roppi’s leg. He landed behind Tsuki, catching himself on his hands so he didn’t hurt the part between his legs.

Roppi growled.

“Sorry.” Toudai said.

Roppi snorted.

Sakuraya and Shitsuo sat on top of Rubi, Sakuraya in the front with Shitsuo’s arms wrapped around him.

With everyone situated, the party continued on their journey.

* * *

 

“Fucking hell, you have a bony ass.” Roppi grumbled, rolling his shoulder as he glared at Toudai. “How do you and Rubi even have sex? His hip bones should be clacking against your pelvis every time.”

Toudai glowered at him. He then rolled his eyes. “Well, there is more than one position than mounting someone like a bitch in heat. I know you are ill-experienced, but most lovers hold each other when they make love, not pin their partner down.”

Roppi expression filled with pure hatred. “You know, I’m really starting to fucking hate you.”

“My, what a surprising revelation.” Toudai rolled his eyes yet again.

“Stop it, you two.” Rubi said, creating a fireplace with stones. “You guys are going to be stuck with each other for a while here. You need to try and get along.”

“Oh, joy.”

“Toudai.” Rubi looked up at him.

The raven glared at his lover. Rubi instantly flinched, looking genuinely surprised by his animosity.

“Whatever,” Roppi sat down. “We’re all tired and hungry. Let’s get some warm food in our bellies and go to bed.”

“I-I’m not hungry…” Tsuki muttered.

“You need to eat, Tsuki-kun.” Toudai sat down by the boy. “We have a long journey ahead of us.”

“He ate a lot today in the town.” Roppi looked at Toudai, his gaze void of hatred—for once. “He can probably get away with skipping dinner, so long as he eats first thing in the morning.”

Toudai looked at Tsuki. “Are you truly not hungry?”

Tsuki nodded.

“…Alright. However, stay hydrated.”

Tsuki nodded again.

Roppi and Rubi looked around them.

“Jeez, what is taking those two so long?” Roppi grumbled, referring to Sakuraya and Shitsuo. The pair had volunteered to gather sticks for the fire. “Where did they even go? There’s sticks all over!”

Roppi looked around wildly. He then growled and stood.

“Screw it, I’ll get the sticks. If you see them before me, tell the pair of useless to hurry it up next time.”

“Okay.” Rubi confirmed.

With that, Roppi disappeared into the trees. Tsuki watched him go, watched his silhouette disappear into the shadows. The blond waited a full minute to make sure he was true and fully gone.

He then turned to Toudai.

“T-Toudai-san.”

“Yes?” The doctor looked at him.

“Is-is what you said b-before true? Can-can you really ki-kill me in my sl-sleep and it won’t be-be painful?”

Toudai’s eyes widened. “You heard that?”

Tsuki nodded.

Toudai looked at him with sorrow before casting his gaze to the ground. “I was bluffing. I do not have the actual ingredients for Euthanasia. But Roppi-kun does not know that. And he does not need to know that.” Toudai made eye contact with him. “So long as he thinks I am capable of it, I am sure he will treat you better.”

Tsuki just stared at him, physically deflating with disappointment. “Oh.”

The blond hugged his knees to his chest and buried his face into the woolen kilt. **_‘Treating me better means nothing to Hachimenroppi. All that will do me is a gentler rape.’_**

Tsuki sighed heavily as he went limb, all his weight being pressed against his feet.

**_‘Whatever. What’s it matter, anyway?’_ **

The blond stood. “I-I’m going to go find S-Sakuraya-san and Shitsuo-san.”

“I’ll come with.” Rubi said. “You can’t go off by yourself.”

“I w-won’t get lost.”

Rubi opened his mouth to argue but Toudai spoke before him. “Let him go. I know not how to make a fire.”

Rubi looked at Toudai, “But his ankle and Roppi…” Rubi fell quiet when he saw the expression on his face, then sighed heavily and nodded. “Fine. Just…don’t go far.” Rubi looked at Tsuki. “And if you need help, scream. Loudly.”

Tsuki nodded.

The blond turned and headed into the trees. Honestly, he wasn’t really interested in finding the missing pair. He just wanted some time alone. He was tired of being around such revolting people. Monsters and deviants, and monster that were deviants. He was sick of them. He just wanted to be alone, even if it was only for a moment.

He limped without purpose or direction. Just aimlessly wondering the woods. The darkness gave him a strange sense of calm. His eyes had adjusted so he could see quite far without light. The glasses he still wore helped as well. On top of which, the almost full moon was shining bright in the cloudless sky and reflecting off the snow, illuminated the woods in pale blue light.

**_‘Should I even try to escape now that I’ve come this far?’_ **

Tsuki looked behind him.

**_‘I don’t have any form of currency so there is no way I can buy a pass to Japan. I can’t even speak the language to earn some money.’_ **

He sighed and faced front.

**_‘I honestly can’t go anywhere without Roppi. At least, not without the pack. And the pack won’t help me. Toudai-san’s going to get himself killed soon enough if he continues to badger Hachimenroppi.’_ **

Tsuki tripped over a tree root. It was miniscule and only caused a slight annoyance to bubble within him.

 ** _‘I hate this place. I hate this forest. I hate these people. God, I just hate_** everything ** _!’_**

“I just want—”

“Hah, ah!”

Tsuki jolted, shocked to hear such a noise in the middle of the woods.

“Nn, nn! Nn!”

“Shoosh, Sakuraya.”

**_‘Eh?’_ **

Tsuki followed the voices, the small moans echoing off the trees. He drew close. He was able to spot them before he got close enough to be spotted. And that was quite well and good. For the scene he stumbled across was something he didn’t want to get involved with.

Shitsuo and Sakuraya were standing, hugging each other close. The blond man had Sakuraya’s back pinned to a tree and was holding the raven suspended off the ground. Sakuraya had his legs wrapped around Shitsuo’s waist. And the blond was moving his hips in a motion that Tsuki recognized, thanks to Hachimenroppi.

“Mm! Nn! Nn-mm!” Sakuraya was biting into the end of his flowing sleeves to muffle his moans.

Shitsuo was grunting with his movements, obviously putting in a lot of effort.

Tsuki’s eyes stretched wide. **_‘They-they’re…’_** His eyes then narrowed. **_‘Well, we can remove ‘brothers’ off the list.’_**

Tsuki turned around and walked away.

**_‘Seriously. I’m surrounded by blasphemous filth.’_ **

Tsuki continued to walk until the noises were swallowed by the forest. He sighed heavily before looking up at the moon.

**_‘God, have I done something wrong to deserve this fate? Have I wronged you in some way or form and never atoned for my sin?’_ **

There was no response. Tsuki heard nothing answer his question.

**_‘Or are you just a figment of my imagination designed to give me comfort when I can’t draw it from anywhere else?’_ **

Still no response.

However, a shadow passed over the moon. Tsuki’s eyes stretched wide. He hadn’t blinked. Something had blocked out the moon. Something big and high up in the sky.

Tsuki felt fear course through his body. He quickly looked around himself.

**_‘Where am I? Where’s the campfire? They had started a fire, right?’_ **

Tsuki turned in a complete circle. There was no flicker of light anywhere.

**_‘…I should go back to Sakuraya and Shitsuo. I’ll be safe with them…’_ **

Tsuki didn’t know which direction the two were in. His turning and wild looking around had displaced the line he had come from. He didn’t know which way the two lovers were!

Fear gripped Tsuki tightly as his breathing labored. He hugged himself tightly and pushed his back against a tree.

**_‘No, no, calm! Calm down! Remain calm, I need to just…just catch my bearings. Snow, I can just follow my tracks in the snow—’_ **

Twigs crunched in the snow. Tsuki jumped. He held his breath and felt his blood turn cold.

**_‘What was that? What was that?!’_ **

Something was moving quickly. He could hear the snow crunch in recession with each other. Something was running. And it was heading straight for him.

**_‘Run. Run now!’_ **

Tsuki listened to his instinct. He turned around and ran. His ankle disagreed with that action immensely. Intense pain shot up his leg. He gasped and fell to his knees.

The snow was crunching loudly now. It was almost on him. He couldn’t move. Something was going to eat him!

Tsuki screamed as fear gripped him.

“You!” A familiar voice tore through the air.

Tsuki jolted and looked over his shoulder. “Ro-Ro-Ro—”

The brunette ran over, an expression of pure rage on his face. He bent down and grabbed Tsuki’s arm harshly. “How many times am I going to have to chase you down before you _stop_. _Fucking_. _Running_!”

“Ru-ru-run—no, I-I wasn’t—”

Roppi grabbed Tsuki by his shoulders and shoved the blond hard. He gasped in pain as his back slammed into the snow, his wounds scraping against ice.

“O-ow-ow!”

“I’m so fucking tired of chasing you, Tsukishima! You aren’t leaving me! I’d rather die than let you leave me! No, I’d rather kill you than let you leave me!”

Tsuki’s eyes stretched wide with horror as fear gripped his chest for a new reason. “N-no, I—”

Roppi’s hands found purchase to Tsuki’s throat.

Tsuki screamed out of reflex before he started kicking and thrashing wildly. “I’m sor—I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

“No, you’re not! Not yet!”

“I’M SORRY!”

Tsuki managed to pull Roppi’s hands away and rolled over. He hugged himself tightly and turned his face away. He buried his face into the snow as tears dripped from his eyes.

“I wasn’t running. I wasn’t runn-running. I swear. I j-just—I was looking for Sa-Sakuraya-san and-and—”

“You expect me to believe that?”

“I was! I was, I pro-promise! I swear!”

“Yeah, right.”

“A-a-ask Rubi! He-he let me go knowing I-I was looking for the—”

“Of course, he’s going to say that. He’ll say whatever to make it okay for you to disappear. He wants you gone more than anyone!”

Tsuki jolted, his eyes stretching wide. He looked up at Roppi in shock. “He…he wanted m-me gone?”

“Of course he does. Toudai’s his lover and you’re hogging all of Toudai’s attention. If he didn’t hate you before, he hates you now.”

“I-I…I did—I didn’t ask for the atten-attentio—”

“You didn’t try to stop it either, now did you?”

Tsuki began to shake. He broke down into sobs as he buried his face in his hands. “I’m sorry…”

**_‘This is just a never-ending nightmare! I wanna go home! I wanna go home! Delic-Nii! Tsugaru-Nii! Mom, Dad! I just want this to be over! Let this end already…’_ **

“Oi.”

Tsuki didn’t respond.

“Oi, stop crying.” Roppi’s hand touched Tsuki’s hair. The blond flinched. “You’re going to trigger your asthma.”

Tsuki shook his head. “I wanna go home…”

Roppi was silent for a long moment. He then began to stroke Tsuki’s hair. “I know you’re homesick. But you’ve got to stop this, Tsuki. I can’t protect you if you run off by yourself like this. The loneliness will pass, once you get used to the pack.”

“The pack doesn’t w-w-w-want me! You just sa-said—you’re the only one!”

“…Yeah, that’s right.”

Tsuki’s eyes widened. He looked up to see Roppi was smiling warmly.

“That’s right. I’m the only one who will ever love you. Who will ever truly understand you. Just me, Tsukishima. I’m all you have out here.”

Fear bubbled for yet another reason. **_‘Oh, God. Please, save me from this mad man. He’s going to kill me.’_**

“Pl-pl-please.” Tsuki rolled on his back, trying to push himself away with his feet. “Please, don’t hu-hurt me. Pl-plea—”

Roppi shooshed him as he reached a hand out. The blond flinched and closed his eyes tight shut. Roppi brushed his hand lovingly against Tsuki’s cheek, wiping a tear away with his thumb.

“It’s alright.” Roppi said, lying down flat over Tsuki. “I’ll protect you. I’ll always protect you, Tsukishima.”

**_‘You’re crazy! You’ve gone completely mad!’_ **

“It’s okay.” Roppi kissed Tsuki’s forehead. “I love you. More than anything.”

**_‘This isn’t love! You don’t understand what love is!’_ **

The werewolf continued to pepper Tsuki’s face with kisses until his found the blonde’s lips. Tsuki was too scared to pull away as the disgusting mouth came over his own.

Roppi spread away and all Tsukishima could do was cry.

* * *

 

“Here, Tsukishima-kun, try to eat.” Toudai held a plate of food out to the blond.

Tsuki looked at the platter of cooked meat, looked at Toudai, then looked at Rubi. He made eye contact with the white-haired werewolf before he cast his gaze to the ground and shook his head. He shimmied away from the kind doctor and pressed himself against Hachimenroppi’s side.

“Here, Tsuki.” Roppi held his plate out to the kidnapped teenager. “Have a piece.”

Tsuki looked up at Roppi. The brunette was smiling triumphantly.

**_‘I hate you.’_ **

Tsuki sighed before taking a piece of meat. He brought the food, a piece of pork from the smell, to his lips and began chewing on it with lackluster.

**_‘I hate this.’_ **

Toudai stared down at Tsuki with an expression of obvious sorrow. However, the doctor said nothing as he stood and walked over to Rubi. He sat down by the white-haired man and began to eat.

**_‘God, I don’t know what I have done to wrong you so. I will give anything for you to forgive me for my past sins. Just let this be over already.’_ **

Tsuki choked down the piece of meat before burying his face into his knees.

**_‘Just let this miserable existence end already.’_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Neh, quick question. How many of you guys would be interested in reading a HachimenroppiXFem!Tsukishima doujin? (I'm going to post this question on my other fics so if you answer here and are following the others, you can just ignore this) I've got 35 pages so far, 14 pages done and the stories still not done. Pretty close but not yet. Since Tumblr's taken the piss, I'll be posting them on Pixiv. I was wondering if anyone is interested in reading something like that? If so, I'll be working harder to get it done! If not, then I'll just leisure my way to the end. :) *le shrug*


	19. Chapter 19

“Finally, you guys are back.” Roppi growled. “I got the fucking firewood, since you two fucking disappeared.”

“Sorry.” Sakuraya bowed sheepishly.

“We became lost.” Shitsuo stated.

 ** _‘Lost in each other.’_** Tsuki rolled his eyes and scoffed.

The two looked at Tsuki. Their gaze was a glower, but it was laced with confusion as to why Tsukishima would be annoyed at them. But they didn’t voice their concern. They instead sat as far away from Tsuki as they could across the fire. Tsuki cast his gaze to the stones around the blaze.

 ** _‘They shouldn’t do that in the forest. There’s things flying around and there’s no way they would be paying attention when they’re doing_** that ** _…Oh, yeah.’_**

“B-by the way,” Tsuki started. “I saw som-something earlier.”

Roppi looked down at him. “Hm?”

Sakuraya and Shitsuo stiffened.

“What’d you see?”

“Some-something in the sky. It had b-big wings and bl-blocked out the moon fo-for a moment.”

“Oh?” Rubi leaned forward. “Did it look like a giant bat or a person or what?”

Tsuki hesitated. “I did-didn’t get a good-good look. It was-was gone as soon as-as it was there.”

Roppi and Rubi shared a look.

“It could have been a vampire.” Roppi stated. “Or a gargoyle. Even a werebat.”

“We’ll have to keep an eye out from now on. We should divi-up into watches for the night.”

“Unless Sakuraya and Shitsuo want to join in,” Roppi glared at the two, “You and I will end up sleep deprived.”

Sakuraya said nothing, glancing to the side.

“I do not mind taking watch.” Shitsuo stated.

“Alright, then we’ll do that.” Rubi said, “I’ll take the first watch.”

“Nah, I’ll do it.” Roppi said. “It’s easier for me to stay awake then you.”

“…Alright, but!” Rubi leaned forward to gain Roppi’s attention. The raven-haired werewolf flinched, his eyes widening. “You _have_ to wake me up, got it? Do _not_ stay up all night.”

“…O…kay…”

“I mean it, Roppi. You don’t need to be sleep deprived because you were being stubborn.”

“I got it. I’ll wake you up.”

Tsuki turned away from them as he grabbed Roppi’s duffle. He had no interest in this conversation.

“Are you going to bed?” Roppi asked.

Tsuki nodded as he pulled out a bear pelt.

“You should eat a little something. Just to hold you over till morning.”

Tsuki shook his head.

“…Alright. Real quick though.”

Roppi grabbed Tsuki’s ankle and pulled. The blond gasped before he was rolled over, so he was sitting down, propped on his elbows.

“Wh-what?”

Roppi reached into his duffle and pulled out a rope. Tsuki got a bad feeling about that.

“Um…” Tsuki tried to pull his leg away. “Um, wh-what—”

Roppi tugged Tsuki’s ankle and wrapped the rope around it.

“What are you doing?!” Toudai yelled.

“Making sure he doesn’t run while we’re sleeping. The last thing we need is him getting himself killed cuz he ran off again.”

 “That’s barbaric!”

“It’s for his own good.”

“For his—”

“Toudai-san, it-it’s fine.” Tsuki said in a small voice.

“No, it’s not fine!”

“It is.”

“Tsu—”

“He said it’s fine so it’s fine.” Roppi said.

The werewolf finished knotting Tsuki’s ankle. Roppi then took the other end of the rope and wrapped it around his own ankle. Tsuki kept his eyes on the ground, just waiting for Roppi to be done.

**_‘How much lower can he go? Saying he’s doing something like this for my wellbeing. You’re so disgusting.’_ **

Roppi finished. He tugged the rope to make sure it wouldn’t come undone. Tsuki looked at the knot. It was complicated and intricate. He didn’t think he could undo it.

  ** _‘Just why are you like this? Why can you do the same things your father did to you and call them okay? Have you not realized that’s what you’re doing?’_**

Tsuki sighed heavily before he turned away from Roppi. He crawled into the bear pelt and snuggled close, burying his nose under his scarf.

**_‘Toudai-san’s the only one who’s trying to show him the error of his ways. I don’t think Hachimenroppi understands what he’s doing either. It’s so frustrating. If only he could understand how miserable he’s making me. If only he actually thought of me instead of himself.’_ **

Tsuki’s breath came out in a stutter as emotions started to bubble in his chest. He then swallowed hard to keep those emotions in check.

**_‘Just go to sleep. It’s better than being here.’_ **

* * *

 

“Mm…mm…”

“Shoosh, Tsuki.” A voice whispered in his ear. “Don’t get loud.”

Tsuki’s body was feeling hot. A pleasure was going up his spine. Over a month ago, it would have been a foreign sensation but now it had become all too familiar.

“Wh-what…” Tsuki groaned.

He squeezed his eyes tight shut then forced them open.

Roppi lied in front of him. He joined Tsuki under the bear pelt and was pressed close. His arm was moving in a rhythm. The rhythm was in tune with the pleasure Tsukishima was feeling on his penis.

Tsuki looked down. It was too dark for him to see what Roppi was doing but he knew. He could feel it. Roppi had his cock pressed against Tsuki’s and was pleasuring both of them with his hand.

Tsuki gasped in realization.

“Sssh!” Roppi wrapped his free arm around Tsuki’s neck and pulled him close. “You’ll wake the others.”

“Wh-wh-what are you,” Tsuki whispered, “What are you doing?”

“What’s it look like?”

“B-b-but, the-the others—they’re ri-right there.”

“Ssh! If we don’t get loud they won’t wake up.”

Tsuki clenched his teeth and closed his eyes tight shut. **_‘This is so wrong!’_**

The blond tilted his head down, reaching up and grabbing Roppi’s shirt. A knot was already forming under Tsuki’s stomach. Waking up to such a pleasurable sensation was a shock to his system that he didn’t know he would enjoy. A part of him was disgusted. Not only with Roppi but also with himself. He shouldn’t enjoy this. He should hate this. What was _wrong_ with him?

“Hu-hurry.” Tsuki whispered, arching his back to breathe into Roppi’s neck. “Hurry up.”

“Wha—I can’t cum on command.”

“W-we’re going to g-get caught.”

“…If you want it to end quicker, then help me out.”

**_‘…You’re the worst.’_ **

Tsuki closed his eyes tight shut and buried his face in Roppi’s shirt. He reached a shaky hand down. His palm touched the tip of his own cock. He jolted his hand away. Tsuki shook his head.

**_‘I can’t. I can’t do this. This is bad.’_ **

Roppi grabbed Tsuki’s wrist. The blond tried to pull his arm away on reflex, but he didn’t put up too much resistance. Roppi guided Tsuki’s hand to grip both of the cocks. Tsuki swallowed hard, his ears burning with embarrassment.

“There you go; like that.” Roppi exhaled in pleasure. “God, your hand feels so good.”

**_‘This is terrible. I got woken up for this shit.’_ **

Roppi’s hand gripped the other side of their cocks, encasing both organs in warmth. He began to stroke in rhythm with Tsuki’s.

 Tsuki panted heavily into Roppi’s chest. His hand started moving on its own, the pace quickening with the pleasure. His hips shifted with every stroke. Roppi’s hand matched Tsuki’s speed.

“You’re really good at this.” Roppi whispered. “You do this often?”

Tsuki shook his head. “N-n-never. I’ve never…”

Roppi chuckled. He then kissed Tsuki’s forehead. Tsuki glared into Roppi’s chest.

Roppi rubbed his thumb over the cockheads.

“NN!” Tsuki arched and tilted his head back.

“Shoosh, Tsuki.” Roppi whispered. “You’ll wake the others.”

“I c-can’t…My voice…it’s al-already getting ho-hoarse.”

Roppi glowered for a moment.

Then he planted his mouth over Tsuki’s. The blonde’s eyes widened, and he tried to pull away. He was refused, however, as Roppi shoved his tongue into Tsuki’s mouth.

Thoroughly muffled, their hands quickened yet again. Tsuki was breathing hard through his nose. His lungs were starting to sting while his head was feeling light.

**_‘Let it end soon. Let it end soon.’_ **

Roppi groaned into Tsuki’s mouth. Tsuki groaned as well. The blond closed his eyes as the euphoria was drawing near. He was close. He could finish this soon. He could go back to sleep soon.

Roppi reached first. He groaned hard into Tsuki’s lips as he wrapped his hand around the tip. He gyrated his hips into his palm, filling his hand with the white liquid. Tsuki continued stroking. He was at a point of no return. He had to finish as well. And soon after he did. He came into Roppi’s palm too, whimpering into the werewolf’s mouth. His legs stiffened painfully but the euphoria dulled that for a while.

Tsuki fell limp against the pelt, breaking his kiss with Roppi. He rested his head against the werewolf’s chest while panting heavily.

“You didn’t come very much.” Roppi whispered.

“I’m tired.”

“Hm.”

Roppi reached up and grabbed a clothe above their heads. He started cleaning off his hand. Tsuki couldn’t bring himself to care as he closed his eyes. He wanted to go back to sleep.

Roppi reached down and began milking the last drops of cum out of his cock. Once done, he did the act for Tsuki as well. The blond jolted but made no motion to stop him. He didn’t want to care anymore. The werewolf finished what he was doing and tossed the rag. He threw it into the fire, which plumed with life around the clothe before the fire started to dull due to the liquids.

Roppi pulled up his pants, fastening them closed. Tsuki did the same. The werewolf crawled out of the pelts, tucking them in around Tsuki to keep him warm, then went to tend the fire. Tsuki let out a small sigh before looking up at the moon. The white sphere had waned significantly across the sky.

**_‘Wasn’t he supposed to wake Rubi-san?’_ **

Tsuki rolled over to look at Roppi. “He-hey.”

Roppi looked over his shoulder at him.

“Ho-how much l-longer is your watch?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“But w-weren’t you suppo-supposed to switch with Rub-Rubi-san?”

“It’s fine. He can sleep for a little longer.”

“…Okay.”

**_‘What do I care if you lose sleep?’_ **

Tsuki rolled back over, burying his head under the blanket.

**_‘Hurting yourself like that has nothing to do with me. Suffer by yourself, you bastard.’_ **

* * *

 

“What the fuck, Roppi? I told you to wake me for the next watch!”

Tsuki groaned to the loud voice that berated his ears.

“It’s fine.” A calmer voice stated. “I couldn’t sleep last night anyway.”

“You’re going to be exhausted all day!”

“I’ll be fine.”

“No, you won’t!”

“I’ll. Be. Fine.”

Rubi growled but didn’t argue anymore.

Tsuki rolled his eyes. **_‘Maybe if you grew any form of masculinity, Roppi would actually care for your opinion.’_**

Tsuki tucked back under the blankets, closing his eyes.

“Tsuki, it’s time to get up.” Roppi shook the blonde’s shoulder.

Tsuki groaned.

He did not feel refreshed for the morning. In fact, he felt more tired than when he went to bed last night. He knew exactly who was to blame for that. And the notion that the culprit was the one waking him up annoyed him more than anything.

“Tsuki.” Roppi shook him again.

“Don’t touch me.” Tsuki growled.

The werewolf’s hand was removed.

Having just woken up and already in a very sour mood, Tsuki had no fear for pissing Roppi off. If anything, he wanted to make the werewolf mad. He deserved to be just as sour as Tsuki was.

The blond sat up and crawled out of his warm pelts. Without even casting a glance at Roppi, Tsuki began rolling up the pelts. Roppi hesitated before helping him. Tsuki still refused to look at him.

“Are you mad at me or something?” Roppi asked.

“Should I not be?” Tsuki growled.

Roppi jolted. “What did I do?”

“OH! Let me count the ways!” Tsuki glared up at him with pure hatred.

Roppi flinched under his stare, confusion set in his expression. The werewolf had no clue what he did wrong. That irritated Tsuki even more. The blond rolled his eyes and scoffed loudly. Without another word, Tsuki continued packing his ‘bed’ up.

The werewolf was quiet for a moment. He then stood. “I’m um, gonna give you some space.”

“Yeah, you do that.”

Roppi said nothing, although he stood before Tsuki for a moment longer—probably to stare at him. He then turned and walked off somewhere where Tsuki couldn’t see him.

“Fucking asshole.”

Tsuki didn’t know if Roppi heard him or not. A part of him hoped he did. A part of him feared he did. But when nothing was done to him, Tsuki could only assume he was in the clear. He finished packing up the duffle and zipped it closed. Roppi was talking to Rubi in a hushed voice before noticing Tsuki was done. He came over and hoisted the duffle over his back.

“Rubi’s going to carry you today.” Roppi said, almost sheepishly.

“Fine.”

Roppi nodded before turning around like a dejected dog. Seeing that gave Tsuki satisfaction he didn’t know he wanted.

**_‘If only you could figure out why I’m pissed then maybe this horrible nightmare will end. But that would be too good to be true. You pathetic excuse of a man.’_ **


End file.
